Face Value (13 page)

“Sssh.” She
covered his mouth with her fingertips. “You don’t have to say any
more. I understand why you did what you did, Tucker. Any father
would have done the same thing.”

“You don’t
understand.” She couldn’t comprehend the rage festering inside of
him. Fury borne of feeling helpless and disgusted with himself
because he didn’t have the courage to help someone he loved. “I
scare myself sometimes.” She deserved complete and total honesty.
Even though he’d only known her a short time, he knew she was
special. “I can’t control my anger. It controls me.” That was hard
for him to admit because he didn’t want to lose her respect.

“Is that what
happened with Rob? Did you lose control?”

“No. When I
lose complete control, it’s ugly. I hate myself when that
happens.”

She sighed as
she rested her head on his shoulder again. “My dad told me it’s
happened at Jimmy’s a few times.”

Tucker winced
as he recalled the number of times he’d had to go into that bar to
make things right with Lauren’s father. He could only imagine how
J.T. felt about his beautiful and successful daughter wasting her
time with him. If his own daughter was interested in an ex-con who
couldn’t control his temper, he’d move her to another state to keep
her safe.

“You talked to
J.T. about us?”

“Actually, he
talked to me.” She smiled, but it never reached her eyes, which
told him she was more concerned about her father’s opinion than she
would admit.

“What did he
say?” As if he didn’t know. He had no doubt J.T. had told her to
run for her life.

“He told me
about the episodes in the bar…” She shrugged as though she was
trying to downplay the conversation to spare his feelings. “He
knows that I make my own decisions.”

He turned to
face her. “Lauren, I don’t want to cause any trouble between you
and your parents.” His relationship with his kids was the most
important thing in his life, and he had no doubt Nikki and J.T.
felt the same way about their relationship with Lauren. “Your dad’s
right about me. You should stay the hell away from me.”

Her eyes
flicked up to meet his. “How do you know he said that?”

“Any father
would in his position, myself included.”

She looped her
arms around his neck, drawing him closer. With their lips a breath
apart, she asked, “What if I can’t keep my distance?”

Tucker knew the
feeling. An inexplicable force drew him to her, and no matter how
hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to fight it. “I won’t let myself
hurt you.” He was trying so hard to fight his feelings for her
sake. He knew she deserved the best, and no matter how hard he
tried, he couldn’t wave a wand and erase his problems or his
past.

“How do you
know you will?” she asked, brushing her lips across his.

He closed his
eyes because staring into those beautiful blue eyes promised to be
his un-doing. “It’s what I do.” It wasn’t who he wanted to be.
Every day since he got out of prison, he’d wrestled his demons
because he’d never let anything take him away from his kids again.
He was smart enough to know the coffer containing that internal
firestorm could blast open with the right provocation though, and
he wouldn’t risk Lauren getting caught up in the carnage.

She was someone
he could fall in love with, and when Tucker loved a woman, he was
jealous to the point of being obsessive. He hated that about
himself, but according to the therapist he’d been forced to see in
prison, it stemmed from his childhood and his compulsive need to
keep the people he loved safe so he wouldn’t lose them.

“I don’t
believe that, Tucker.” She kissed him gently. “I’ve seen you with
your kids. There’s a sweet, gentle, fun side to you that I
love.”

His eyes opened
on the last word.
Love.
God, it would be so easy to fall in
love with her. If he was being honest with himself, he would admit
he was already halfway there. “Sweetheart, you should listen to
your daddy. He’s right. I’m a dangerous guy.”

“How do you
know he said that?”

“Because I
would say the same thing to my own daughter ten years from now if
she falls for a guy like me.”

She ran her
hand over his stubble. “Thank you for being honest with me about
what happened. I know it wasn’t easy for you.” Running a hand
through his hair, she said, “I don’t think less of you because you
went to those lengths to protect your daughter. In fact, I respect
you more now that I know your side of the story.”

There was so
much she didn’t know about him, but if she took her father’s
advice, she would never have to know the ugly truth about his
past.

“You should go,
sweetheart.” She had driven her car to his house before the hockey
game, and he’d made sure she had only one drink. He was tempted to
lure her into a mind-melting kiss like the one they’d shared the
other night, but he knew if that happened, he wouldn’t let her go.
With his kids under the same roof, inviting her to spend the night
wasn’t an option.

Lauren stood,
pressing her palms into his chest when he stood to walk her to the
door. “I wish I didn’t have to go,” she whispered.

The thought of
making love to her, letting her fall asleep and wake up in his
arms, was almost too tempting to resist. “Don’t do this to me,” he
groaned, tipping his head back. “You don’t know how hard it is for
me to let you walk out of here.”

“Then
don’t.”

His eyes
snapped back to hers, and the hope he saw almost caused him to
cave. She was putting herself out there, showing the courage to
risk rejection, and he wanted nothing more than to show her how
much he appreciated her taking a chance on him. But he
couldn’t.

Enclosing her
face in his hands, he skimmed her mouth with his lips. “You are a
gorgeous, sexy woman, baby. I want you more than…” If she was
willing to take a risk, he had to be willing to do the same. “I’ve
ever wanted anyone.” He saw her eyes widen in surprise. “Ever,” he
repeated firmly. He didn’t want her to leave with any doubts about
his feelings for her.

Tucker had been
a kid when he fell in love with Amanda, and he hadn’t been in love
since. As a man with a lurid past, he knew what it meant to love a
woman like Lauren. If he couldn’t love her with his whole heart,
accompanied by the promise to keep her safe, he had to let her go.
“But that doesn’t mean I’m good for you.”

She wrapped her
arms around his neck and claimed his mouth in a heated kiss.

It was a
possessive tangle of mouths, and Tucker felt helpless to control
the urge to take more. He wanted all of her, everything she had to
give… every night. “I can’t…” He was winded by the time he finally
drew away. He prayed for the strength to fight their attraction and
the sense to protect her from danger she couldn’t seem to see. “Do
this.”

Her hands were
all over his chest, caressing beneath his thin cotton shirt. “Yes,
you can.”

She kissed his
neck, and his knees almost buckled as he grabbed her arms to try
to… put some distance between them… prevent her from getting away…
He didn’t know anymore. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d
been so torn. He wanted to do the right thing, but his body wanted
his conscience to take the night off.

“I know this
isn’t the right time,” she whispered, nibbling his ear. “Your kids
are here.” She hooked her thumbs into his belt loops and drew his
body even closer, reminding both of them how dangerously close they
were to damning the consequences and taking what they wanted. “But
they aren’t here every night.”

He knew if his
kids weren’t there, he’d have surrendered. That was the kind of
power she had over him. “Let me walk you to the door.” He gripped
her chin between his thumb and forefinger and studied her eyes.
“You’re sure you’re okay to drive? You’re not tired? That
drink-”

She laughed and
grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away from her face. “I’m fine,
but I love that you care so much.”

There was that
word again.
Love.
It kept coming back to taunt him, as
though his sub-conscious knew something he wasn’t willing to admit.
“I want you to drive safely and call me as soon as you get
home.”

She stood on
her toes to kiss him. “I love that you’re so concerned about my
well-being.”

Lauren may
think it was sweet now, but how would she feel if his
concern
made him a jealous, possessive control freak afraid
to let her out of his sight? “Just do as you’re told,” he muttered,
slipping his arm around her waist as he walked her to the door.

“I will.” She
smiled. “Are you sure you won’t fall asleep before I get home?”

He rolled his
eyes. “Not a chance. I’m going upstairs to take a cold shower.”

***

The next day,
Lauren sat in her parents’ driveway staring at the house she’d
grown up in. She knew her dad was usually at the bar taking care of
paperwork on Sunday afternoons, and she wanted a little girl time
with her mother. She hadn’t thought to call first. She was driving
around aimlessly when she realized where she needed to be. She just
hoped Nikki was home.

Walking into
the big old house always made her smile. No matter how hard it was,
being on the road so often with her mother when she was growing up
or missing her mama like crazy when she couldn’t tag along because
of school, their house was the place they all came together and
made up for lost time. When Nikki was home, she gave her family her
undivided attention, and that made up for all the nights Lauren
fell asleep missing her.

“Hey you,”
Nikki said, popping her head up from her post on the suede
sectional in the family room. She removed her reading glasses and
set her book down on the tufted leather ottoman. “This is a nice
surprise.”

“Hey, Mama.”
Lauren grinned when Nikki stood and opened her arms.

“Get over here
and give your old mama a hug.”

Lauren rolled
her eyes at her mother’s reference to her age. In her fifties, she
looked better than most women in their thirties, and J.T. never let
her forget it. Her parents still acted like teenagers. Their public
displays of affection used to embarrass Lauren, especially in front
of her friends, but she’d learned to be grateful she had two
parents who loved each other so much.

“Is Daddy at
work?” Lauren asked, giving her mother a hug before plopping down
on the sofa with a heavy sigh.

“He is.” Nikki
frowned as she claimed a spot beside her daughter. “What’s that all
about? Something got you upset?”

Lauren wasn’t
surprised Nikki picked up on her distress right away. She’d always
had a knack for knowing when something was troubling her only
child. “It’s a man.”

Nikki smiled.
“Isn’t it always?”

Lauren hadn’t
confided in her mother about
boy
troubles in a long time,
mainly because there hadn’t been anyone worth stressing over. She’d
been too busy with her career to get side-tracked by love. “This
one is different.”

“Are we talking
about Tucker Brooks?”

Lauren wasn’t
surprised J.T. hadn’t kept his concerns to himself. He shared
everything with his wife. They claimed one of the cardinal rules
that made their marriage work was their ‘no secrets’ rule. “Daddy
told you.”

“He did.” Nikki
patted Lauren’s knee with an affectionate smile. “He’s worried
about you. This isn’t the kind of man you usually go for.”

Lauren couldn’t
argue with that. She usually favored professional types. Something
about a handsome man wearing a suit and tie got her every time, so
how could Tucker’s faded blue jeans and steel-toed work boots put
any of those Armani-suit-wearing men to shame?

“What did he
tell you about Tucker?” The worst of the bad, no doubt. She loved
her father, but his protective tendencies made her want to move to
Alaska at times.

“Just that he
has a temper.” Nikki frowned. “And he’s been in jail.” The frown
turned into a scowl. “And he’s divorced with a couple of kids.”

When she put it
like that, the man sounded as though he didn’t have any redeeming
qualities, which Lauren knew wasn’t true. “There’s so much more to
him than that.” Lauren didn’t go there to defend Tucker. Her mother
had always been the reasonable one, the person she turned to when
her father dug his heels in and refused to relent. She’d assumed
she could convince her mom to ask J.T. to lighten up on
her
man.
Her man? Was Tucker her man? Did she want him to be? Yes!
But more importantly, did he want to be?

Nikki smiled.
“I assume there is, or you wouldn’t be so into him.”

There was no
point trying to conceal her feelings. She was crazy about him, and
that scared her because, according to Tucker himself, he was a
little crazy.

“I can’t
explain it. Being with him just makes me feel good.”

Nikki stroked a
hand over her daughter’s long blond hair. “Sometimes that’s the
only reason you need.”

“He’s a good
man.” She thought about the story he’d told her last night. A man
willing to go to prison to protect his daughter was a man she
wanted to get to know better. “I know Daddy doesn’t see that, but
he is.”

“Your daddy’s
just worried about you, honey. You can’t fault him for loving you
so much.”

Her father’s
love was suffocating at times, but she knew his heart was in the
right place. He didn’t want to see her get hurt, and he would do
anything in his power to prevent it. “Tucker keeps telling me he’s
all wrong for me. He said Daddy’s right, I should stay away from
him.”

That still felt
like a dagger through the heart. Lauren had hoped he would want to
explore their attraction enough to stand up to her father. Maybe he
didn’t think she was worth the trouble.