Expiration Dating (10 page)

“What
do
I think?”

“It’s hard to explain.” I watched a bead of sweat roll down my pint glass.

“Try me,” he said.

“I’m not crazy religious, or waiting until marriage or anything like that. I just really don’t want to regret the first time.”

“Why would you regret it?”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend that lasted more than a month, except for in high school, and at that time I just wasn’t ready. Right before I came here I started dating someone, but he found it… other places.”

Andrew nodded, “You didn’t really answer the question.”

“I kind of did.” I was having a hard time finding the right words to express my thoughts. “Let me put it this way, I’ve waited this long, it would just feel cheap for me to give it up on a one night stand. Maybe it sounds dumb to you, but…”

“Yeah, I dunno…” Andrew finished his last swig. “I guess I can see it.”

“You dated someone in high school, right? And you guys had sex?”

“Yes,” he said.

“And you dated for, like three years or something. So you clearly cared about her.”

Andrew nodded, and I continued. “That’s all I’m saying, I wouldn’t regret it if I found the right person… I just think that that person hasn’t come along yet.”

Andrew tried to get one last drop out of his mug. I pushed my glass towards him. “I’m not saying I want to marry the guy, I’m not saying I want to date the guy, I just …”

I looked around the outer edges of the room, hoping they could provide guidance and make my explanation come out more clearly.

“I don’t understand, if you don’t even have to be dating the guy…”

“I just want to look back and know I made the right choice. You can never get that back, and it’s important that it’s someone I care about. That’s all.” My explanation was finished, if Andrew didn’t understand, we’d just have to agree to disagree.

Andrew digested the information, though it looked like it was hard for him to swallow. He seemed like he had too many questions swimming around his brain to figure out which to actually ask.

             
“Do you think you’ll get back together with your girlfriend?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

             
“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s a senior so she’ll be going off to grad school after this year.”

Almost as an afterthought, he added “I’m pretty sure she’s already hooking up with someone else.”

              “Wow, that’s fast, isn’t it?” I asked.

             
“Not really, I mean we knew it was coming and it’s been two months,” he said. “Normally, I would have been back in the game already as well.”

             
“You haven’t slept with anyone since you’ve been here?” I asked .

             
“No…” he looked surprised. “I’ve been hanging out with you. Plus, Italian girls are hard to get. They don’t trust Americans.”

             
“Oh,” I crossed my arms. “Well, at least it sound like you gave a valiant effort.”

Chapter
Fifteen

Andrew and I
took one last shot at the bar before following the winding streets back to our hostel. By the time we arrived, the mood had regained its vacation spirit.

Andrew held the door open as I
stumbled inside, and as I whipped around to say good night. My voice halted in my throat; there was an unmistakable look in his eye.

He
took my hand and pulled me into a bathroom at the end of the hallway. Considering the beautiful island we occupied, this was certainly not the most romantic place, but the gleam in his eye was sexy in its own way. He grabbed the back of my head, slid my body against the wall and pressed himself to me. Without speaking, he lowered his mouth to my lips and kissed me.

I didn’t resist; he tasted like limoncello
, and I could smell the fresh air on his clothes. The scent was intoxicating, a light sea breeze combined with lemony essence. The room was exquisite, more like a dressing room than anything. The polished gold adornments gleamed and the antique couch in the far corner looked like it belonged in a museum.

Andrew
guided me onto the loveseat. He locked the door and turned to face me. He looked into my eyes, searching for any hesitancy. I put my hands to his shirt, playing with the collar. I caught his gaze, giving him the green light, kissing the soft skin on his neck, slightly below his chin. With a barely discernible smile of relief, he reached for the bottom of my shirt. Piece by piece, Andrew stripped off my clothing until I was half naked. Before I knew it, he was tracing a line between my breasts and down my stomach. I was warm and tingly all over.

He drew my lips to meet his, the warmth of his skin a welcome touch. I relaxed against the bench, the fluffy pillows creating a cozy nest
for the imprint of our entangled bodies. He ran his hands down my bare sides, and I shivered as a reflex. His thumb traced over the side of my ribcage, the tingle in my core becoming more acute by the second. I pulled his head closer, and he followed my lead, protecting my body with elbows perched on the pillows.

His hands were in my hair, running through the sea-salted strands, pulling them tight against my scalp. I arched my back, letting my head fall backwards and my chin turn up. He ran his lips against my neck, working lower and lower. I tensed as he reached for my belt.

I guided his face back upwards with my hands, pointing his gaze towards mine. The moment seemed suspended in time.

             
“Not now,” I whispered. One arm hand was still on his face, while my other arm was around his neck.

             
“Why not? Please?”

             
He had a longing expression on his face; I wanted to say yes, I really did. But I couldn’t. Not yet.

             
“No,” I said, standing up. “I’m sorry.”

He looked especially boyish with his hair slightly mussed and a hopeful
shine in his eyes. I grabbed both of his hands in mine, and he let out a sigh.

             
“It’s fun, you know,” he said semi-jokingly.

             
“I’m sure it is. I just… we’re going to be leaving in two months and it would be too hard for me to get involved with you. I like you a lot, so let’s just try to keep it as friends, as hard as that will be.”

             
He must have heard the resolve in my voice, and relented.

             
“I’m sorry, I really am,” I said.

“Me too.” Andrew
opened the bathroom door, and I peeked through narrowed eyelashes at the receptionist. I half-heartedly slid a hand up to cover the side of my face. The man was a professional, however and averted his eyes. Andrew had no shame, leading me by the hand, head held high. We lingered for a moment, exchanging good nights, before heading to separate rooms. I lay awake, my head buzzing with the fresh memories.

The next day dawned bright and beautiful. There was no noticeable difference
in our relationship, except for the time we realized our hands were clasped together as we walked down the sidewalk on the beach. It seemed to hit us at the same time, and we both released our grip at once.

We sat at the same restaurant as the previous evening, enjoying another cheap pizza and bottle of local wine.
Instead of barhopping afterwards, however, we climbed again onto the roof of the Castello and split a bottle of Moscato. Feeling quite bubbly, we watched the fireflies dance in the darkness below us.

             
“And then, I told her that I wanted to come because-” Andrew’s lips cut me off. He rolled over and kissed me.

I let myself fall into the kiss, encircling his neck with my arms. I flinched with pleasure when he pressed his lips to my neck, a weak spot.
His skin felt good against mine, warm and smooth, his bare arms strong around my waist.

He paused for a moment, and I was in shock.

“I was saying…Um…”

My words trailed off as he traced the sensitive area on my stomach.

“Uh…”

He rubbed my shoulders, my mind losing all focus.

“What were you saying?” he asked.

“I don’t remember,” I said, moaning with the pressure of his thumbs above my shoulder blades.

He bit my lip lightly. I rolled over, foregoing the back massage.

Andrew
kissed me with a sense of urgency, his hand pulling my head close. I remembered lying atop the same Castle where he’d avoided intimacy the previous evening by introducing a spitting contest.
What’d brought on this change of heart?

I turned my attention back to his lips.

Chapter Sixteen

The sun crept into the sky
, the orange and pinks of the morning glow blurring over the water’s stillness, and I realized we’d spent the night on top of the castle. The time had flown by, as we’d alternated between kissing and caressing, talking and silence. At one point, I’d dozed off as he rubbed my shoulders.

I shook his shoulder, whispering we should head back to the hostel.

He was cute when he slept; much more innocent than the sophisticated man I’d gotten to know. I ushered him back towards the hostel, and in a half-daze, he kissed me goodnight, or good morning, on the cheek and stumbled into bed. I closed his door, then slipped into my room and did the same.

Monday morning rolled around, and waking up for class was pure misery. I debriefed Emilia and Megan about the weekend as we dragged our feet to school. Emilia spent most of the walk nodding, while Megan whooped aloud as I got to the make-out on top of the castle. I flipped through a few pictures on my camera as I spoke, convincing myself it wasn’t a dream.

When I arrived in class, my heart beat a little faster. I had to admit I was looking forward to seeing
Andrew. It had been great reliving my experiences with Emilia and Megan the previous evening, but I felt I didn’t even do it partial justice. I wanted to relive it with Andrew. My heart sank a little when I didn’t see him at the start of class. He wasn’t there at the end, either, and I was surprised he’d skipped it entirely. I resisted the urge to text him, refusing to be a clingy annoyance.

It’d only been a make-out session,
after all. Brilliant, yes of course, but still.

             
I didn’t see him Tuesday, either, since we each had other classes and busier schedules now than we had at the beginning of the semester, when we could hang out all the time. Wednesday was the first day he was back in class.

             
He greeted me like normal.

             
“Nice of you to show,” I said.

I
clicked my pencil, hoping he realized I meant it as a joke.

             
“Sunday was a rough night,” he said. “I went out with the roommates and just didn’t make it out in the morning.”

He said it
in such a nonchalant fashion, rubbing his head as he spoke. I couldn’t help feeling a bit left out.

Get a grip.

After all, I didn’t ask him to get a drink with Emilia, Megan and me every time we went out. I pushed it out of my mind.

“Lunch?” Andrew asked after class.

“I think I’m gonna pass today,” I said. He looked surprised.

“I have a couple things to do at home, and I want to get a run in, too. Thanks for asking, though.”

“Sure, anytime. I’ll talk to ya later,” he said, walking away.

My excuse was partly true, but there was more to it. I wasn’t ready to spend time alone with him yet. I wasn’t sure where we stood, and I felt a little unsettled.

I made my way
home and dressed for a jog. I felt much better as I started to run. I was able to sort my thoughts out; realign my priorities and remind myself I wasn’t living in Italy to be tied down to an American. That it was
good
Andrew was so casual about everything.

             
Even so, I was pleased when I got a text from Andrew that afternoon telling me to grab my roommates and meet him and a group of his friends at Old Fashion

             
Entering the club, I saw Andrew surrounded by his friends. Without thinking, I approached Andrew and kissed him on the cheek. The minor display of intimacy led his friends to quiet for a moment, until I played up my level of faux drunkenness and hugged each of them in turn, kissing them on the cheek as well.

Andrew
looked relieved, and I was reminded of our
friend
status. I meandered back to my girlfriends, who were scoping out the crowd. The three of us met up with Kimberly, who’d changed boyfriends three times in the two months we’d been living in Italy, and grabbed a table in the far corner. We met her latest accessory, a shrimpy Italian with a glossy, poufy purple coat. I wasn’t interested in his friends, but Megan was already macking on his blonde sidekick. I don’t think they’d conversed, but that was okay in her book. I spent my time flipping back and forth, dancing with Andrew and hanging out with the girls.

Still, w
hen I wasn’t dancing with him, I found myself trying to keep him in my line of sight lest he get carried away by some Italian chick, or even worse, one of my classmates. I knew it was petty, but at one point I saw a blond from one of my classes, a cute one, and I felt the need to accidentally elbow her as I walked past en route to get a drink. I saw Andrew give me a look. I made a show of apologizing, and continued to the bar. A song later, I felt a presence next to me.

             
“She’s dumb as a box of rocks, you know,” he said.

             
“Who?” I asked, playing with my straw.

             
Andrew rolled his eyes, “Jealous?”

             
I stomped my foot. “Absolutely not.”

             
“Ok, Stompy,” Andrew smirked and watched as I walked off, no retort at hand.

             
I didn’t dance with him again, trying to maintain some form of dignity. Every time he came near, I made sure to grab a tighter hold on my current dancing partner or seem incredibly engaged at a story Kimberly’s boyfriend was telling, a story none of us could understand anyways. Still, as the night wound down, Andrew wouldn’t have any more of my dodging attempts. He grabbed my hands and pulled me onto the dance floor.

             
Holding me close, he whispered, “Do you want to come home with me tonight?”

             
“And do what?” I asked, deliberately being a smart ass. “You know I’m not going to
sleep
with you.”

             
Andrew’s expression morphed as he refrained from saying whatever initially crossed his mind. “I know.”

A few moments passed as we swayed to the music.

              “Okay.” I said.

             
Andrew nodded, “Let’s get out of here.”
              I got in the cab with Andrew and texted Emilia and Megan from there. I knew they were carpooling home with a few other girls so they’d be fine, but I didn’t want them to worry. Emilia sent back a winking face. Megan told me to:
get it
.

             
Back at Andrew’s place, he offered me a drink. I accepted, and we sat in our dancing clothes, damp with sweat, nursing the tasty nightcap. We were quiet, left alone to our separate thoughts. I collected the empty glasses when we finished, dumped them in the sink and followed Andrew to his loft. His roommate, Josh, wasn’t home yet.

My clothes were off in no time
, scattered across the floor. Andrew’s hands traced over my bare stomach, my muscles flexing involuntarily. He had a smile on his face as I leaned in for a kiss. He picked me up, my legs wrapping naturally around his waist. Andrew leaned a hand against the wall for support, his muscles flexed against my skin, his kiss intense. After a moment he paused, heavy breathing filling the silence.

I helped him remove his shirt, anxious for my skin to be in contact with his. The simple touch of his skin against mine ensured my
resolve was close to crumbling.

The door thunked open downstairs
. I scrambled into my clothes and lunged into bed, pretending to sleep as Josh lumbered up the stairs, singing drunkenly at the top of his lungs and flopping onto his bed without taking off his shoes. He looked like a Muppet even at rest. I heard Josh’s breathing steady as I lay, feeling the rise and fall of Andrew’s chest against my cheek.

I relaxed
, as the beat of his heart lulled me to sleep. I was drifting off when I began dreaming that Andrew was rubbing my back. I sighed, happy to let the dream continue indefinitely. Non-dream Andrew then whispered in my ear, and I opened my eyes.

He
hadn’t gotten enough before Josh interrupted.

Excited, thrilled by the danger of his sleeping roommate not four feet from us,
Andrew nipped my lip, his hard kiss a rough contrast to the softness of his mouth. I wanted more.

Josh
rolled over, muttering something about a Gyro sandwich, and I collapsed next to Andrew, struggling to keep my laughter quiet. He covered my mouth with a hand, but I could tell he was smiling, too. I kissed his palm, gave Andrew a wicked grin and went under the covers.

             
“
You
try to be quiet,” I warned as I slid downwards. I kept a playful hand on his chest until he gave in, laying his head on the pillow.

              Sunlight streamed through a skylight above as I woke, disoriented. I realized where I was as soon as I saw the sleeping form next to me. I rose quickly, stumbling out of bed. I hadn’t remembered to set an alarm, and I was surely going to be late to class. I felt Andrew’s arm snake out and grab my wrist, dragging me back to bed. Josh’s bed was already empty, so I knew it must be later than I thought.              

             
“What time is it? I need to get to class!” I said. “I’m probably already late.”

             
“Come back,” he mumbled.

             
“No, I need to go, I need to leave,” I said, still slightly disoriented. I stumbled around the room, somehow ending up with his shorts on backwards.

             
“Dana, lay down.” His voice was firm, but his innocent smile was inviting. His complex gray eyes were a contrast to the sandy hair framing his face.

The cozy comforter
seemed to call my name, so I agreed. Andrew stroked my back and said, “You will still get an A, one class won’t make a difference. You’re staying here today.”

             
I didn’t respond.

             
“You already got an A from me.” He drew the covers in tight, and I couldn’t resist.

             
I lay back against his chest. He was right. It felt nice to break the rules for once. To top everything off, Andrew forbade me to leave the bed while he ran next door to grab breakfast supplies. I was more than happy to oblige.