Expect Me (Rivers Edge Book 3) (18 page)

I don’t even hear the sounds of Matty’s camera as Josselyn and I stare deeply and meaningfully into each other’s eyes. It’s when Matty happily and dramatically exclaims, “Finished!” that I realize we aren’t actually alone or lost in our own private world. We’re standing in the grass by the house.

“Seriously, you two. These pictures are going to be phenomenal! I can’t wait to get them back to the studio and check them out. The sunset, your sexy attire, the ‘I want to rip your clothes off and make crazy monkey love’ looks that you give each other…uh!  These pictures are going to win me awards!” he exclaims as he places his camera securely into his bag.

Josselyn reaches forward and wraps the dress shirt securely around her body and gives me a coy smile. I step over and pick up her dress and bra while she slides her feet back into her flip flops. “I think I’m going to step inside and get dressed,” Josselyn says as she starts to walk towards the house.

I watch her walk away wearing my dress shirt, mesmerized by the gentle sway of her hips, the curve of her ass, as she heads towards my house. Our house. The house I’m building for us, our future.

Us. Together.

30 weeks - 7 months

Fortunately, softball season is over with, though Travis hasn’t actually played in the past several weeks. Between Will, Jake and Nate, they filled in for him on the team. Labor Day has come and gone and early signs of fall are starting to set in. Travis has been at the house every night, working until the early morning hours before coming home and crashing for a few hours before getting up and doing it all again the next day.

Lately, he’s been moody and edgy, and I try not to take it personally, though my emotions are working overtime lately. I cry at the drop of a hat like at the sappy beer military commercial or become angry when I can’t complete the smallest task like paint my own toenails. I’m nearing the end of my seventh month now. In the home stretch as I like to refer to it. In about ten weeks, I will be holding my son who has been tap dancing on my bladder, causing me Charlie horses in the middle of the night, and making me crave microwaved brussel sprouts dipped in melted butter. Yuck.

I haven’t seen Travis in three days. Literally. He gets up before me in the morning and comes home well after I go to sleep at night. The only reasons I actually know he’s been home is the pile of dirty clothes he leaves on the bathroom floor and the almost empty coffee pot sitting on the counter.

It’s Sunday afternoon as I’m super excited to go to the Stevens today. I’ve been so lonely lately. I cut my hours back at the café a week ago since my back is killing me and my feet are swelling up to balloon size. An afternoon with Travis’s family is just what I need right now. Well, that and the fact that Matty should be here any minute.

As if right on cue, there’s a quick knock on the apartment door. I fling the door open and throw myself into the scrawny arms of my best friend in the whole world. Tears are streaming down my face without even realizing it and Matty looks at me with concern filled eyes.

“Joss, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just so emotional lately. And I missed you so much. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you,” I tell him as I usher him inside and shut to door.

“Well, I’m here now, sweet cheeks. And Uncle Matty has a huge surprise for his favorite little nephew,” he says with a huge smile as he rubs my belly.

“What is it?” I ask excitedly as I wait for him to tell me more.

“I won’t tell you, Josselyn Jane. Right now, you need to go into that bedroom of yours and put on a nice outfit,” he says as he gives me a gentle shove towards the bedroom. “Hurry up! I don’t have all day,” he adds.

I step in the bedroom and pull one of the maternity sundresses out of our closet. I’m sliding it on when Matty yells from the hallway, “So where is that big beefcake hunky man of yours at, anyway?”

I sigh dramatically and don’t answer for several seconds. “He’s working on the house. All the time. He has been working on the house every moment of every day. I haven’t seen him in a few days,” I say as I step out into the hallway and slip on my favorite pair of flip flops.

“I’m sure it’s just because he’s focused on getting the house ready, Joss. He’s under the gun to get the house complete before the baby is born.” And as if reading my thoughts, Matty adds, “I’m sure it has nothing to do with you, sweetie.”

I want to believe his words, really I do. But lately, I have nothing to do but think, and my thoughts have not been very good. I wonder if Travis is tired of me, if he’s afraid he’s making a mistake where I am concerned or where the baby is concerned. That just bums me out more than anything. I can handle it if he were to come home and tell me he didn’t want a relationship with me anymore. What I couldn’t handle is if he didn’t want one with our son either.

Tears threaten to fall while my mind goes uncontrollably towards my biggest fears. Raising this baby alone without Travis. I’ve come to lean on him, to need him, to love him. I realized a few weeks back that I was madly in love with him. I feel safe and secure when he’s with me. I feel like I can be myself for the first time in my life when I’m in his presence. And I feel like he maybe feels the same way too. Well, I did feel that way until recently.

“Come on, girl,” Matty says as he drags me to the bathroom. “Snap out of it. I want you to brush your hair and put on a little make up. We have a surprise to get to,” he adds as he exits the bathroom.

After throwing on bare minimum make up and brushing my hair and teeth - oh, and peeing for the second time since entering the bathroom - I head out and meet Matty in the kitchen.

“Ready?” he asks with a huge, mischievous smile on his face.

“Ready. For what? I don’t know, but I’m ready none the less,” I say as we step out the door. We hop inside of Matty’s car and head towards Travis’s parent’s house.

When we arrive, I notice that the entire family is already here. I check my watch to make sure we’re not late, but it’s only two o’clock. We’re actually early.

Matty steers me around the back of the house and the first thing I see are balloons. Balloons everywhere. Blue, yellow, and green balloons, streamers, and table cloths. I look around at all of the decorations and all of the faces and finally notice the
CONGRATULATIONS TRAVIS & JOSSELYN
sign hanging from the arbor over a table covered with presents.

“What is this?” I ask Matty who’s smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

“It’s your baby shower, silly!” Matty exclaims as he pulls me into the crowd of people. I see all of Travis’ siblings, Maddox’s family, and a few of the girls from the diner. As I scan the crowd of familiar faces, my eyes crash into the same hazel eyes I have. These belong to my mother and my sister. To say I’m shocked would be an understatement.

“Hi, Mom,” I say as I walk up and give her a small hug.

“Josselyn, it was nice of someone to call and invite us to this shower. Heaven knows you don’t call us and update us on anything anymore,” she says with a slightly cold tone to her voice.

I decide to ignore the jab at my lack of communication and turn my attention to Karlie. “Hi, Karlie. You’re looking well,” I say as I give her an air kiss on each cheek.

“Why thank you, Josselyn. And you look…pregnant,” she says as if struggling to come up with a positive word.

“Thank you, I think,” I say and turn my attention to Avery and Erin who are chomping at the bit to get a hold of me. They each throw their arms around me simultaneously and give me the sisterly hugs that I wish my own sister who is standing right next to me would give me.

“Did you two plan this?” I ask as tears fill my eyes.

“Yes. Well, us, Mom and Matty,” Avery says.

“Matty has been a force to be reckoned with, I tell you,” Erin adds with a laugh.

“Oh, I’m sure he has been,” I reply and continue on with hugs for each of Travis’s brothers.

I’m standing with Jake, Nate, and Maddox and can’t help but continually look around for any sign of the one person I thought would be here. “Where’s Travis?” I finally ask when I don’t see him after my second - or was it my sixth - glance around the yard.

“I’m not sure. He said he’d be here,” Nate replies.

“He’s probably just running behind. I’ll give him a quick call and check on him,” Jake says as he pulls his cell phone from his pocket.

“Hey,” Jake says into the phone but then his entire demeanor changes. He becomes tense and visibly agitated.

“I don’t really care what you’re doing right now,” Jake growls into the phone in a low menacing voice. “No, you don’t have time. It’s your damn baby shower, Travis. Get your ass over here right now,” he adds as he turns away from me so I can’t hear the rest of the conversation.

After a few more tense seconds, Jake hangs up his phone forcefully and turns back to me and the rest of the crowd. “He’s on his way,” he says as cheerfully as he can, but I can see the anger rolling off him like a tidal wave. His jaw is tight and the veins in his forehead are bulging out. I’d hate to be on the receiving end of an upset Jake Stevens.

Avery steers me towards the food table, and I pile on more food than I can possibly eat right now. Actually, I’m suddenly not hungry at all, yet I feel like I need to do something with my hands. Did Travis forget or did he just not care enough to come? The thought of either makes my stomach lurch and the desire to throw up uncontrollable.

I sip on a glass of water as I breathe through the nausea. Erin comes up and sits next to me on the glider trying to make pleasant small talk, but I’m just not into the conversation. I plaster on a fake smile and nod occasionally as she talks, but I don’t actually hear any of the words she says.

Twenty minutes later, Travis comes barreling around the side of the house carrying a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He’s covered in drywall dust and is sporting some of the biggest bags under his eyes that I’ve ever seen. He looks tired, worn out, exhausted. He also looks like he’d rather be any place but right here.

“Hi, everyone. I got stuck finishing sanding the drywall at the house. Let me buzz in and take a quick shower and I’ll be right out,” he says as he heads into the house without so much as a glance my way.

Another fifteen minutes later, Travis returns freshly showered and wearing a big, fake smile. For the first time since he arrived, his eyes scan the crowd and lock on mine. He makes his way over to me and places a friendly kiss on my cheek.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says. “I’m starving. I’m going to grab some food,” he adds before heading over to the food table.

I watch him walk away and notice my mother looking at us for the first time. She raises her manicured eyebrow with a questioning look. I give her my best smile and turn my attention back to Erin.

A little while later, after the delicious cupcakes are consumed, Matty announces that it’s time for Travis and I to open our presents. Avery and Maddox place two chairs up front next to the big, gift-covered table and indicate for us to have a seat.

Brooklyn helps deliver and open the presents as Avery writes everything we’ve received down on a sheet of paper. I want to get excited, really I do, with each gift I open, but all I can think about is the fact that Travis is sitting next to me in person but he’s a million miles away. He’s participating in the act of opening presents, but he lacks the enthusiasm that I would expect him to have. The enthusiasm he’s displayed this entire pregnancy.

After the agonizing task of opening the gifts and the thank you’s have been said, I glance over at Travis who is sitting in the chair with a far-off look on his face. “What’s the matter?” I ask, concerned.

“I was just wondering where in the hell we’re going to put all of this baby stuff,” he says and makes eye contact with me for the first time since the gifts started.

“Your mom has already mentioned that we can leave them here until the house is ready,” I tell him.

“
IF
the house ever gets ready,” he mumbles. “It’ll never get done if I don’t get back there and work on it,” he adds.

“Then you should go, Travis. If that’s where you’d rather be, then go. Don’t stay here on my account,” I say as I stand up and walk away.

He’s behind me in an instant and grabs a hold of my upper arm - not hard enough to hurt - and gently spins me around to face him. “I didn’t mean it like that, Josselyn. Stop being dramatic,” he says firmly.

“So, is this the famous Travis I’ve been hearing about?” I hear my mother’s voice say behind me.

I turn around and come face to face with my mother and Karlie again. “Yes, Mom, Karlie, this is Travis. Travis, my mother, Michelle, and my sister, Karlie.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. McCray. Karlie,” he adds with a polite shake of hands and nod of his head.

“Likewise, Travis. It’s so nice to meet such an ambitious, hardworking young man. I’m glad someone has the desire to work hard and achieve their goals,” she adds with a bitter swipe of her tongue without even glancing at me. But, I know exactly who she’s talking about.

“Why thank you for the compliment. However, I’m not sure who you would be referring to. Surely you’re not talking about Josselyn. In fact, I believe her to be one of the strongest, hardest working women I know. She may still be trying to figure out what her dreams and goals are in this life, but I assure you that she’s doing what she wants, what makes her happy none the less. I’m proud of her and the woman she is today. I’m honored to call her the mother of my child. She’s going to be an amazing mother to our little boy,” he says.

My mother just stares at him for a few moments, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water, before she finally shakes her head. “Good. I’m glad she’s happy. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted for her,” she says. “Josselyn, I think it’s time for your sister and I to head back towards Chicago. We can’t stay since we both have to work tomorrow,” she adds with air kisses to both of my cheeks. Yes, because heaven forbid my mother actually take a day off of work and spend time with me.

“Thank you both for coming,” I reply and give air kisses to Karlie. “It was a pleasant surprise.”

“You be sure to call us when the baby arrives. We’ll try to make it down for a visit,” Karlie says before her and my mother turn to walk away.

I exhale deeply as I watch them head over and shake hands with Travis’s mother before they’re retreating back around the house and towards the driveway.