Existing (47 page)

I look
up and see Gina frowning at me.

“I don’t have much time
,” she rushes, “I’m sorry.”

“Mom, its fine.
You don’t need to be sorry.”

“I was so worried
, and after all that you’d gone through the night before too.”

My head snaps up. “You were there?”

“Yes, darling. I carried you up to your bed. It was Hallie. I stood screaming at her to stop, but she couldn’t hear me. I had to watch her doing those things to you and I couldn’t stop her. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“You have nothing to thank me for and I’m sorry for getting you involved in this, but I wanted you to know why she’s hated you so much. I heard you say you needed a reason, and I wanted to give it to you.”

“I still don’t understand why she hates me so much
, Mom. She had an affair with Dad and then ended up married to him. Why does she resent me so much?”

Gina tenses underneath my skin. Her fingers pinch and squeeze mine
, making them turn a dark shade of red. I wiggle but she holds on tight.

“I’m going,” says my Mother. “I haven’t got time to explain.”

“What Mom?” I ask. My eyes dart around the room trying to look for her but I can’t see her.

“Hallie hates you because it reminds her of what she did to me. It haunts her more than I do.”

I shake my head. “She had an affair but that still doesn’t explain it, Mom.”

“No
, Rose. That’s not what troubles her.”

Gina’s nails dig into my skin
, making me suck a quick breath in. “Gina,” I whisper, “you’re hurting me.”

“Rose,” says my Mother. “The last entry of the diary
, can you remember what it said?”

“U
m, not really. I can’t remember what I read. Dad told me what I said when I came down to see him the next morning. That’s how I know about the affair.”

“Oh dear,” she whimpers,
“I’m losing it.”

I stand up
, not letting go of Gina. “Mom, just tell me. Quick.”

“Hallie.
It was Hallie. The reason I’m here and not there with you is Hallie.”

Her words swim around me, clouding up my brain as I try to figure them out. Without warning
, the memory of reading her diary slams into me, forcing me to crash back down into my seat. 

“She killed you?” I whisper.

At first there’s silence, and then the faintest of sounds drift into my ears and I hear the one word I don’t want to hear. “Yes.”

And then the warmth is gone and Gina’s eyes snap open.

“Shoot,” she hisses. “Sorry about your hand.”

I glance down
, feeling like the world is about to end and see the nail indentations and redness from where she’d grabbed onto me.

I pull my arm away and rub absentmindedly at my han
d. “It’s okay. I appreciate you helping me.”

Gina leans forward and squeezes my shoulder. “Th
at’s why she is stuck in the in-between Rose; she was murdered. She was killed before her time and the crime has gone unpunished. She hasn’t crossed over because she wants justice.”

“Justice?”
I whisper.

Gina nods.
“Justice.”

I stand up
, hearing my Mother’s words echoing and swarming around my head. I can’t even think straight as I climb down from the steps and walk toward the car.

“What’s the matter with Rose?”

Gina says something to Willow as they pass. I continue walking and get into the car.

“Hi Rose,” says
Ava brightly. “Willow was nice.”

I
don’t say anything. I stare at the birds and the trees. I stare at the clouds and watch as they float over my head. It’s warm outside for June, but I’m shivering so much it hurts.

I’m aware of Gina climbing into the car and then I zone out. I don’t know if either of them tries to talk t
o me during the drive back home or if they talk to one another, and I don’t care. The only thing I care about is making Hallie pay. The more I think about all that she’s done to me over the years, the more my blood boils. She took my Mother away from me, just so she could be with my father. How dare she? Does she think she’s God? Does she think she gets to decide who lives and who dies? No. No, she doesn’t. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she killed my mother, she’s been a complete bitch to me all of my life too. If she wanted my Father that badly, then she should have accepted the fact that I come with him. I feel sick as I think about what she’s capable of. All the times I’ve been alone with her as a small child. All those times when she could have easily killed me too. And Ava.

We pull up outside the house and I don’t even thank Gina. I unclip my seat belt and tear out of the car and up the path. I barge through the front door and feel like a deranged animal as I stalk around the h
ouse. I slam doors, my feet stomp on the stairs, I throw her pillow on the floor, and then I stomp back downstairs as my Father emerges from the laundry room. The look of shock on his face stops me in my tracks.

“Rose? What’s the matter?”
he asks.

I glance at Gina and
Ava in the doorway and squeeze my hands into fists. “Where. Is. Hallie?”

My Fat
her frowns. “She’s not here. Her friend’s Mom has passed away, so she’s gone to stay with her. What’s happened? What do you need Hallie for?”

I feel crazy. I feel like I could wrap my hands around her throat and kill her. I want to. I want to take her life away just like she’s taken my Mom away from me
, but then I hear Ava squeak my name and all of the anger drops out of me.

I huff. “When will she be back?”

“Saturday morning. Why? What’s happened?”

“Nothing,” I sigh
. “Just forget it.”

Ava
walks in the room and grabs onto my Father’s hand.

“Hello
, Mr. Williams.”

Gina steps forward and shakes my Father’s hand. “I’m Charlotte’s Mother.”

My Father nods. “Why have you brought them home?”

Gina smiles.
“They came over for dinner. I was just making sure they got back alright.”

He nods
again and then looks at me. “Why did you want Hallie?”

I shake my head. I need to think. I can’t tell him. Not now. He won’t believe me. What would I say? Oh yeah, my Mother is the ghost
that’s been haunting me, and she told me that Hallie murdered her?

Gina touches my arm briefly. “It’s a secret
, Mr. Williams. I’m sure you can appreciate secrets, given the date.”

How does Gina know
that my Father’s birthday is next week? I nod. “Yes. It’s a secret.”

He doesn’t look convinced but nods and takes
Ava into the kitchen. “Thank you for bringing them home.”

Gina smiles.
“No problem.”

Once he is out of ear
shot, she turns to me. “What are you going to do?”

“I have no idea. I can’t exactly go to the police and tell them a ghost told me what
Hallie did, can I?”

Gina shakes
her head. “You need to be smart about this, Rose. You have time to plan now. Make sure you don’t mess it up. Make sure you get her and there’s no way she can get out of it. You need to be clever. You need to be strong. Remember what Willow said.”

I nod
, though I don’t really remember what Willow said at all, and I watch her walk out the door.

I don’t go to school on Wednesday
. I send a group text out to tell my friends that I have the stomach flu, and I don’t go to school on Thursday or Friday either. I don’t answer my phone. I don’t speak to Cabe, Charlotte, or Ashley when they call. I crouch in the kitchen and hide when Cabe knocks on the door twice a day. I can’t speak to them. I need to come to terms with what I know in my own time and in my own way. If I’m going to break my family apart and if I’m going to make sure I get justice for my mother, then I need to do it my way and my way only.

I find myself doing things I never imagined that I would do. I cut up her expensive lingerie. I rub her toothbrus
h around the rim of the toilet. I pull out her most expensive dresses, roll them around in the mud outside, and put them back in her closet. I know I’m being childish. I know that what I’m doing isn’t right, but I can’t help it. She’s not here and I’m beside myself with the amount of anger that’s pumping through my body.

On Friday afternoon I finally answer the door to Cabe and Charlotte.

Cabe charges straight in and pulls me into a hug. “I thought she’d done something,” he says, “why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

I peek around his shoulder and smile at Charlotte as she stands in my house with her hands on her hips. “I’ve had the stomach flu,” I lie, much more easily than I thought I would be able to. “I’ve been in bed for the last two days and didn’t even look at my phone. I’m sorry.”

Cabe pulls away from me and looks at my face. I know he’s looking for bruises but they’re not there. Not yet.

“She’s away until Saturday,” I inform them. I know they probably both thought Hallie had hurt me in some way or another. They have no idea.

He nods and then Charlotte steps up and hugs me. “I know,” she whispers into my ear. “I’ll help with whatever you decide to do.”

I nod and pull back before smiling slowly at each of them. “Sorry if you were worried.”

Cabe sighs. “Are you alright now?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m much better. I haven’t been sick since Wednesday night. I slept all day yesterday, had some dinner last night, and then got a really good night’s sleep, so I feel great.”

“
Did you have breakfast this morning?” Cabe presses.

I nod. “Scrambled eggs on toast.”

He pushes his hand through his hair and smiles. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Yu
p, much better.”

He glances at Charlotte
, whose face remains as still as stone and then smiles at me. “Are you feeling well enough for a date?”

I
remember the plan that’s swirling around in my head and nod. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

“I’ll pick you up after school. It’s a surprise.”

I smile. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

He leans down and kisses my forehead. “Don’t do that to me again.”

I shrug. “Sorry, I just wasn’t thinking.”

He hugs me once more and then steps aside to let Charlotte hug me again. “Are you going to call me over the weekend?”

I nod.

“Okay. We
ll, have a nice evening,” she says, glancing quickly at Cabe. “Whatever it is that you end up doing.”

I suddenly remember the conversation we had in the bathroom
at school and look at her. “Are you okay?”

I eye her carefully to try and convey my meaning
, but she just grins at me and waves as she walks out the door.

“Are you coming to school this afternoon?” asks Cabe.

I shake my head. “There’s no point just for a few hours. I’ll have a nap or something.”

Cabe nods. “I’ll text you in a bit then.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“See you later
, Rose,” calls Charlotte.

“Bye,” I call out as they walk down the path to Cabe’s car.

Just as they’re pulling away, the delivery driver pulls up. He climbs out of the front of the cab, revealing his backside to me.

“Miss Williams?” he asks
, pulling up his trousers.

I spy the huge box in his hand and smile. “Yes.”

“I’ve got you down for an installation too. Is that right?”

I nod. “Yes
, please. Do you have the details?”

He wa
ves a piece of paper at me and walks toward the house. “I’ll be about an hour.”

At six
, I stand in the foyer waiting for Cabe to pick me up. My Father and Ava are out having pizza and then he’s taking her bowling. I’m glad they’re spending time together, especially since I know that everything is going to tumble down around us this weekend. Instead of feeling guilty or sad or worried about Ava, I’m actually ready for it. I’m ready to get justice for my Mother. I’m ready for my Father and the whole world to know what sort of person Hallie really is.

I don’t think
that the days ahead are going to be fun, which is why I’m putting my plan in a box inside my head and keeping it hidden until it needs to come out. I’m going to go on my date with Cabe and enjoy the fact that I’ve found someone that I can be happy with. Someone that likes me just the way I am.