I could almost understand.
"Urn, the reservation is actually under Gloria Carter. They're all
flying business class."
There was a moment of heavy silence before she said,
"Gloria Carter? As in
the
Gloria Carter? As in the mother of
Jay-Z?"
How on earth people knew these things was a mystery to me,
but I sensed a momentary advantage and went for it. "That's the
one. He's flying to New York to perform, along with a few friends
and his mother. Of course, if you're based in New York and you
could work this out, you'd be more than welcome to come by and
hear him sing his set."
She exhaled audibly and said, "No way! Really? I'm actually
working out of our call center in Tampa right now, but my brother
lives in Queens, and I just know he'd love to go."
"Well, let's see what we can do about changing that flight. I
don't want them coming in too late—maybe just an hour or two
later, max. Is that flight usually on time?"
"Honey, LAX to JFK is never on time." I cringed. "But it's usually
not
too
bad. Let's see, I've got a flight leaving Los Angeles at
ten A.M. arriving Newark at four. Would that work?"
"Yes, yes, that would work just fine. And you have twelve open
seats?" I asked hopefully, thinking that this woman just might be
the best thing that ever happened to me.
She laughed. Or, rather, cackled. A bad sign. "Sure, I've got
twelve seats open, but they're not all business. The best I can do is
four in business, six in first class, and two in coach. You'll of
course need to pay the difference for the first-class seats, which
comes to, oh, let me see here . . . a total of seventeen thousand
dollars. Does that work?"
It was my turn to laugh. Not that anything was actually funny,
of course, but the only alternative was weeping. "Do I have a
choice?" I asked meekly.
"You sure don't," she said, sounding suspiciously like she was
enjoying this. "And you should probably make up your mind soon
because another business-class seat just disappeared."
"Book it!" I practically screamed. "Book it right now."
I gave her my corporate card number, rationalizing that it was
better than telling Mrs. Carter there were no later flights and having
them cancel altogether, and fell back under the covers.
When the alarm blared static a couple hours later, I felt like I'd
spent the night curled up on a hard cement floor. Blessedly, I'd already
packed my outfit for the night's party in a separate bag, so
the only real task was to remain standing and fully conscious in
the shower.
Figuring if there was ever a time to splurge for a cab it was
now, I chased one halfway down my block and dove into it headfirst.
Not being stuck underground in the signal-free subway also
allowed me to check a few of the morning's websites from my
brand-new BlackBerry, a gift from the company's corporate department
so I could "familiarize myself with their product." I pulled
clips of the
Shrek 3
premiere, the Grey Goose relaunch, and of
course the New York Scoop column featuring Philip, me, and my
pantsuit.
Naturally, the cab got stuck in gridlock less than three blocks
from my apartment, and naturally I decided—against the cabbie's
advice—to remain in the temperature-controlled vehicle at all
costs, regardless of how high the meter ran or how many minutes
it took to cover an eighth of a mile. I needed to complete the
check-list for the BlackBerry event. With Red Hots and an earlymorning
cigarette in hand (the cabbie had given me his blessing), I
checked my cell phone to ensure that Mrs. Carter hadn't left a message
in the four hours since I'd last spoken to her. To my great relief,
she hadn't called, but neither had Penelope, and that was
disconcerting. My attempts to explain that it wasn't what it appeared,
that Philip had just shown up and I hadn't lied to get out
of her dinner, had sounded flat and pathetic even to my own ears,
and I imagine to Penelope they sounded even less believable. The
worst part of it all was that she and Avery had switched their tickets
and were flying out tonight. I didn't understand what the big
rush was—especially since Avery wouldn't be starting school for
over a month—but I imagined it had something to do with Avery's
eagerness to embark upon a brand-new West Coast party circuit.
That and the fact that Penelope would do anything to avoid spending
Thanksgiving with either her or Avery's parents. Penelope's
mother had dispatched her own domestic staff to collect their
boxes and suitcases and ship them ahead, and Avery and Pen
were set to fly out of JFK, with their carry-ons and each other.
Michael was planning to see them off, but it wasn't even an option
for me.
The only message was from Kelly, a text reminding me to have
my checklist filled out and on her desk first thing that morning so
we could go over the last-minute stuff together. I unfolded its nowcrumpled
pages and pulled the pen cap off with my teeth. I stared
at them for the few remaining minutes in the cab processing nothing.
I'd have plenty of time before she got in, and the most important
thing right now was to make sure Jay-Z and his entourage
knew about the flight change and got on that plane with absolutely
no problems.
A quick scan of the Dirt Alert revealed good news for once.
Page Six had upheld their end of the bargain and written about my
party in a way that made it sound exclusive, exciting, and really,
really cool:
We hear that Jay-Z will be making a surprise appearance at
tonight's party at Bungalow 8 to celebrate the launch of Black-
Berry's redesigned handhelds. While Bette Robinson of Kelly &
Company declined to confirm, watchers insist that boyfriend
Philip Weston's friendship with the rapper ensures he's the
mystery guest. In a related tidbit, Mr. Weston and friends were
spotted at a Saturday-night birthday party canoodling with Brazilian
models, the youngest of whom was a mere fourteen
years old.
I couldn't have been happier if they'd provided a web address
for ordering the new BlackBerry: everything was exactly as I'd directed,
and I knew Kelly would be deliriously excited when she
saw it. I patted myself on the back, pleased with this mention, and
thought back to one of Elisa's mini-lessons to me.
"Remember, there's a big difference between scoop and favor,"
she'd said, spreading printouts of gossip columns all over the table
at work.
I stared at them. "What? What do you mean?"
"Well, look here." She pointed to a couple of sentences from an
on-set stylist who'd first noticed that Julia Roberts needed to have
her costumes let out because, the girl assumed, Julia was newly
pregnant. Page Six had been the first to talk to the stylist, who'd
been the first to notice this shift. "What is that—scoop or favor?"
"You're asking me?"
"Bette, you need to know these things. How else are you going
to get our clients the coverage they pay us for?"
"I don't know . . . it's scoop," I said, choosing one of the words
at random.
"Right. Why?"
"Elisa, I appreciate that there's something important here, but I
don't know what it is. But if you'd tell me rather than quizzing me,
it'd probably save us both a lot of time. . . ."
She'd rolled her eyes dramatically and said, "If you look carefully,
there's a difference between 'scoop' and 'favor.' Something
juicy and revealing and slightly scandalous is 'scoop.' A celebrity
spotting at a party or in public, or a mention of somewhere they've
been, is a 'favor.' You can't ask the columnists for all favors without
giving them scoop. Information is currency, and the more you
have of it, the more favors you get."
"So you're saying that some publicist out there wanted her
client's name mentioned in the column and provided this bit about
Julia Roberts in exchange?" It sounded so sordid, but it certainly
made sense.
"Exactly. The publicist hand-delivered that stylist to Page Six
and then made demands for coverage of her own."
Well, that didn't seem too hard. Perhaps Page Six might be interested
in knowing that quite a few of the city's most eligible
bachelors had been keeping company with certain Brazilian girls
who were not just underage, but who were years away from attending
an R-rated movie without parental accompaniment. In fact,
they
had
been interested, and when I followed up with the usual
Tip Sheet we prepared for all the press—the blast-fax that went out
with all the information about the party should anyone want to
write about it—a researcher had expressed enthusiasm in possibly
mentioning the BlackBerry party. Hmm, that wasn't hard, now was
it? Morally abject and devoid of all integrity? Absolutely. But difficult
it was not.
By the time Kelly had descended upon the office at nine, I'd
completed the checklist and triple-checked that the plane-change
fax had gone through to Jay-Z's compound and his mother's compound,
as well as to his publicist, agent, manager, and a half-dozen
other handlers. I marched into her office at ten after nine with an
entire file folder of schedules, contact information, and confirmation
numbers and planted myself in the zebra-print loveseat directly
underneath the window.
"Are we all set for tonight, Bette?" she asked, scrolling rapidly
through her inbox while slugging back a liter of Diet Coke. "Tell
me we're good."
"We're good," I sang, thrusting the
Post
under her nose. "And
even better, considering this."
She scanned the piece hungrily, her smile growing ever larger
with each word she read. "Ohmigod," she murmured, barely swallowing
a mouthful of soda. "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. Was
this you?"
It was all I could do not to do a little jig right there on the
zebra-print shag carpet. "It was," I said quietly, confidently, although
my insides were flipping with excitement.
"How? They never cover events
before
they happen."
"Let's just say I listened very carefully to Elisa's valuable lesson
on the concepts of scoop and favor. I think the BlackBerry people
will be happy, don't you?"
"Fan-fucking-tastic, Bette. This is amazing!" She began reading
it for a third time and picked up the phone. "Fax this to Mr. Kroner
at BlackBeriy immediately. Tell him I'll call him shortly." She hung
up and looked up at me. "Okay, we're off to a perfect start. Give
me an update on where everything stands."
"Sure thing. Tip sheets went out ten days ago to all the usual
dailies and weeklies." I handed over a copy and continued while
she surveyed it. "We have confirmed attendance for writers or editors
from
New York
magazine,
Gotham,
the
Obsewei;
E!,
Entertainment