Every One Of Me (13 page)

"Except for the fact that you have to go shopping,
like, right now! And you have to send me pictures for approval AND it's
Charlie
for hell's sake! Now get off the phone with me and get your ass out of the
house and to whatever kind of dress store you can find because there is no way
I am letting you go out with the guy you have been in love with since the 5th
grade without looking like sex on a stick!" She was gasping for air by the
time she finished her rant and I was gasping for air from laughing so hard.

"I miss you, Benny," I said between breaths.

"Aw, my sweet little psycho, I miss you, too. I'm going
to come visit next weekend okay?" She sounded nervous about telling me,
but she had no reason to be. My heart about leapt out of my chest with
excitement.

"Yes! Please do." I paused. "Wait! Does that
mean you are checking out?"

She laughed loudly, "Hell yeah! I am checking out
tomorrow, but I got a few places to visit first. Then I'm flying my cute ass
over to you and staying with you for as long as you'll have me,
then
we
are going to look for a place. That is, unless you are already tangling the
sheets with Mr. Mackenzie."

I gasped and felt my face go hot, "Benny!"

"Don't write it off just yet, T. True love doesn't come
around more than once in a lifetime and you know it," she said sternly and
I had no argument to give her. She was right. I was just too much of a coward
to admit it.

"Okay, enough of the fairytale bullshit. You've got a
dress to find. Call me when you're ready and send some sexy pictures.
Bye." Then she was gone.

I was chewing on my thumbnail, wondering how the hell I was
going to find something nice in just a couple of hours, when Mom walked in with
a smile that could crack her face in half. "Nervous?" she asked and
quirked her eyebrow.

I nodded and started taking deep, cleansing breaths. They
weren't helping. I couldn't stress out or I wouldn't make it to dinner, someone
else would.
It's just Charlie.

It's Charlie.

"Well, get some shoes on and let's go. Benny texted me
and told me to use force if I had to."

I smiled and scurried around my room looking for my sandals.
What would I do without these people in my life?

***

Mom was snapping pictures with my phone while I posed in my
new date dress. It only took about an hour to find it with Sarah Marshall taking
the reins. She had an eye for this stuff.

We ended up finding a charcoal satin cocktail dress that was
sleeveless and stopped just above my knees. The V neckline was lined with tiny
clear beads, and yes, it was showing a bit of cleavage. I had left my hair down
but curled some waves into it. It was heavily layered so it already looked like
I had spent some time on it. After applying a little make up and pulling on the
silver heels Mom lent me, I looked in her full length mirror and tried to catch
my breath.

I looked
good.

Benny called a minute later full of compliments and advice.
I thanked her for the compliments and ignored the advice since it was mostly
where to put my hands when he kissed me or how to 'accidently' show a little
more leg than was necessary to distract him.

Mom was in tears with laughter, hearing everything because
she had put her on speakerphone. I was just trying not to sweat.

Two minutes before 6 o'clock, there was a knock at the door.
We were still up in my mother's room and I had just said goodbye to Benny. I
checked myself in the mirror again while Mom ran down the stairs first. She was
opening the door when I started down carefully since the heels were a little
much for me.

"Oh Charlie," she gasped, "you look so
handsome!"

"Thanks, Sarah. Is Tess about re--"

His words halted when he caught sight of me. Benny would be
proud. Mom stepped aside to let him in, but he didn't move. I felt a simmer in
my veins when I took him in.

He was dressed in dark jeans with a black dress shirt with
white pin stripes and a white undershirt peeking through since he left the top
two buttons opened. His hair was still a little shiny from a recent shower and
styled messily, like he had just ran his fingers through it and tugged like he
did when he was nervous. It looked so sexy and my knees about buckled at the
sight of him. In his hand was a small bouquet of brightly colored daisies. His
other hand went to the door frame, like he was holding himself up.

His eyes moved leisurely from the top of my head to my toes
and back up and I felt his approval in every inch of skin. "Wow," he
breathed.

Mom clapped her hands and stepped toward me to give me a
quick hug. She kissed my cheek and whispered, "He's a goner," then
walked up the stairs in a rush.

He had finally stepped inside the house and shut the door. I
felt a tingle run up my spine when he looked at me again and his green eyes ran
down my body a second time.

"You look… wow. Gorgeous, Tess," he said and
pushed a hand through his hair, then rubbed the back of his neck. He
was
nervous, which made
me
nervous, which made me even
more
nervous
because I was starting to sweat again. "Um, these are for you," he
blurted out and offered me the flowers.

I couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled up in my throat as I
reached for them. I felt like I was back in high school again and on my first
date ever. "Thanks, Charlie. They're beautiful."

He just smiled shyly and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Is this as embarrassing for you as it is for me?"

I giggled again, but it came out as more of a snort. I
clapped my hand over my mouth and nose and felt my face turn beet red. That was
the opposite of sexy, Benny would be disappointed.

He just stared at me with a pleased grin, "You have no
idea how great it is to hear that again." Then he stepped closer until our
toes were touching and I had to look up at him, he had gotten taller and I felt
so small standing so close to him. He reached down and grasped my hand in his,
then brushed his lips across my knuckles. "This is what I missed. You've
always been so beautiful and tonight is no exception… but you take my breath
away when you are just
you
."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that so I just kept staring
at him hoping that the erratic beating in my chest wouldn't be heard over the
heavy breathing I had no idea how to stop. Either way, I probably sounded like
a complete lunatic.

"I know this may be pushing it, but tonight let's not
pretend like we haven't been apart the last 5 years. I know it may be a little
awkward, but there is no point in acting like you have been here all along.
Nothing between us has really changed, but..." His voice was so deep and
smooth, when he spoke.

I really don't think I heard everything he said correctly,
but I think I got the gist of it. However, if he didn't want things to be
uncomfortable, he was going to have to ugly himself up a bit because I couldn't
guarantee I wouldn't spend the night staring at him.

"Okay," I finally said, "let's just let
whatever happens happen and not worry about anything else but enjoying each
other's company." I could do that, right? I mean, I really wasn't jumping
ahead to the end of the date and wondering whether or not he was going to try
to kiss me or if he would kiss me before he brought me home and if it would
lead to us not coming back to my house and maybe going to his house. I wasn't
doing that. At least, I was lying to myself about it, but I could deal with
that.

Oh God, I was sweating again.

He was still holding onto my hands and had somehow gotten
even closer to me so our chests were only an inch apart. His eyes were
smoldering and I couldn't look away. When his fingers caressed my cheek and
moved a piece of hair behind my ear, I felt a pleasant shock and leaned into
his hand as he cupped my cheek. I felt his warm minty breath against my cheek
as I moved my hand to his chest to hold myself up.

He leaned closer until our lips were just a breath away,
both of us taken over by some unseen force and neither one of us fighting it.

I had always imagined how soft his lips would be and
wondered if his kisses would be firm and confident, or soft and tender. I
wondered how he used his tongue and where he would put his hands. I had been
kissed a handful of times in my life. Most of which were in high school. When I
was moving around over the years, one guy at a bar kissed me after talking to
him for 15 minutes and it was absolutely horrifying. I knew Charlie's kiss
would change my life completely and there would be no going back after it
happened.

Of course, since my luck isn't exactly up to par these days,
I didn't get to find out. He had just taken the final breath of courage to
close the distance between us, which felt like miles instead of millimeters,
when drunk Trevor burst in the door with a giggling Ellie by his side, forcing
us to spring apart like we had just gotten caught doing something naughty.

I could tell by the look on his face that Charlie regretted
pulling away and the look he gave Trevor would have probably dropped anyone
else, but Trevor just smirked and became his recent belligerent self. I missed
my sweet brother, always shallow, but sweet brother

"Looks like we were just in time, babe," he
slurred and Ellie stopped giggling when she saw our faces and knew what was
just about to happen between us.

Unexpectedly, she shot me with a death glare. I had no idea
why she would be angry with me for almost kissing Charlie. Then it hit me. She
was jealous of me. Well, needless to say, this pissed me off. She had my
brother on her arm and okay, yeah, he wasn't the most romantic guy or really
the most thoughtful, but he took care of her and all she did was treat him like
a lap dog. I was just about to give her a piece of my mind when I felt
Charlie's hand on the small of my back, pressing me toward the door.

"Have a nice time, T," Trevor called as we stepped
onto the porch.

Charlie was practically dragging me to the car and I was
pretty certain steam was coming out of my ears. He helped me into the passenger
seat and came around the front, watching me watch him. When he took his place
in the driver's seat I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I want to strangle that bitch."

He smirked, "That makes two of us."

"How does she have the nerve to look at me like that?
Did you and her have something before she was with Trevor or something?" I
shifted in my seat to get more comfortable. Not that I cared. What he did while
I was away was really none of my business.

I didn't care.

Stop caring, Tess.

He hesitated, but didn't look away and this made me a little
nervous. If he had been with that psycho before, I don't know what I would do.
No, he would have never been that shallow. But then, my brother would have had
to be interested to get with that woman in the first place and he was not
that
desperate. Was he?

"No, Tess. But when her and Trevor were first dating,
she tried to make a play at me."

I gasped and whipped my head back to the house, then back to
his face. "Does Trevor know that?"

He nodded somberly, "Yeah, he does. She tried to twist
it to her advantage, but he wasn't stupid enough to believe her. Plus, he knew
that I was still--" he cut himself off and started the engine. "He
had no reason to believe her. But somehow, he stayed with her and she has
gotten worse since then. He just doesn't want to admit it."

"Oh my God." I was fuming, mortified, and
devastated all at once.

"Hey," Charlie soothed and grabbed my hand,
"don't let them ruin our night, okay?"

I nodded, but couldn't get my head around how manipulative
that woman actually was. "Okay." I took a deep breath and nodded again.
"Okay, I'm okay now."

He eyed me cautiously, then shifted the car and pulled out
to the street.

By the time we got to the restaurant, we were both more
relaxed. The conversation started out with me asking questions about his
training and him telling me about the different fights he had won, then it
turned into laughing about the stupid things we used to do together and I was
almost in tears when he came to a stop. I didn't realize how much I missed him.
I used to laugh and smile so much with him and it was good to know we could go
back to that after so much time. As we ate, it felt like we picked up right
where we left off, except I now knew how he had felt about me all those years
ago and I wanted to find out more. We were just finishing up dessert when he
surprised me with a question I never thought he would ask.

"Tess, would you mind if I came to your appointment on
Monday?"

I stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds too long. He
looked down at his plate and moved some of his cake around.

"I mean, unless you are uncomfortable with that. I just
thought it would be good to get a little more insight… I don't know, I just
want to understand it better." He looked back up at me and waited.

I'm not sure what made me respond. Normally, something like
this would have made me run for the hills and never look back. I mean, that was
asking a lot of me. I had no intention of ever letting him or my family see a
switch if I could help it which I knew eventually I wouldn't be able to, but
still. I wasn't about to say 'hey, you guys want to see something crazy?' and
go all switchy on them. And this? This was completely different. This wasn't a
'what if', it was a 'for sure' he would see it.

I know he had seen it before, but I wasn't aware of it
thanks to everyone keeping secrets and I knew that a switch was very possible
every single day I spent with him. I couldn't
truly
control them, but
knowing it might not happen made me feel better. So far, things had gone well
and I was learning to avoid my triggers.