Every Breath You Take (Oasis Book 1) (24 page)

“Finn,” I said, surprised. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. He saw right through what I was saying.

“You said you trusted me, and now you’re lying to me. So take some space, and I’ll talk to you later.”

Before I could tell him not to bother, he walked down the hall. I heard the front door open and then close with a small bang. Shit. He didn’t believe me.

I sat on the bed and sniffled. He didn’t believe me and now he was going to call me later and I’d have to avoid him. Or try again. Or…do something even worse. Lie better. So he had no choice but to believe me.

And I had to make sure Mark believed it, too.

Curling up on the bed, I pulled the blanket over my legs as the first sob slipped out. Then the dam broke and I cried into my pillow.

Chapter Nineteen

Finn kept his word and didn’t call until later that afternoon. I’d showered, changed, and steeled myself for what needed to be done.

He seemed surprised when I asked to meet down in the Commons, but agreed readily. When I stepped out of my apartment and saw Curtis there, I jumped back, slapping a hand to my chest.

“Sorry, Ms. Evans,” he said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

It was back to Ms. Evans again. Probably because I was so cold with him this afternoon. “It’s fine. I was expecting Dustin. Or…no one?”

He barely smiled. “Better to be safe than sorry.”

He walked me to the elevator and I felt compelled to say, “I’m just going down to the Commons to talk with Finn. You know, if you…need to be somewhere else.”

“Nothing comes to mind. I’ll stick with you.”

“I don’t–” The elevator doors opened and I broke off, flustered.

I didn’t want him to see or hear my talk with Finn. I didn’t want to do it anyway, but I had to. And if Curtis was there? What if they didn’t believe me? Or…maybe they would. Maybe it would be just enough for Mark, Finn,
and
Curtis to give me space until I could figure out the next step.

My heart wrenched. It wasn’t what I wanted, but what needed to happen.

Curtis tucked his hands behind his back as we rode down. I fiddled with the strap of my purse, and waited. Just before we got off, I glanced at him.

“Could you promise me something?”

He looked over as the elevators doors opened. “Yes.”

“Will you please make sure my family, and Paige and Finn are safe? No matter what happens.”

He didn’t blink. Didn’t even mention how strange it was me saying this out of nowhere. He just dipped his head in a nod. “No matter what happens.”

My heart beat faster and faster as we walked. Through the doors to the Commons, down the path where a coffee kiosk and bistro chairs sat, to Finn standing and waiting.

I resisted the urge to scan the area for cameras. I knew they were there. I knew Mark could see. And so could Curtis and the half dozen other people enjoying a walk or an afternoon latte.

Finn killed me with his smile. He took my hand before I could protest and rubbed his thumb on my knuckles. With a nod at Curtis, he turned me toward the kiosk.

“Coffee?” he asked.

I glanced back and saw Curtis had found a space just past a few tables, where he could watch the kiosk, us, and the other paths in the Commons all at the same time. He caught my eye just briefly, and it hit me hard.

He knew. He knew I was lying. But he was going to let me do this anyway.

If I could count on him to keep his mouth shut, then this would work out just as well.

“I’m…” I looked up at Finn, and then away when I saw the hopeful look in his eyes. “No coffee, thanks. Let’s just talk.”

I walked to the nearest table and sat. He seemed surprised, but didn’t say a word as he joined me. I wanted to stand up and pace. That’s what I normally did. But this had to be quick and direct. I couldn’t get distracted or it might all fall apart.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did before in your apartment,” Finn began.

I waved my hand. “It’s not a big deal.”

He reached out, caught my fingers before I could evade, and held my hand on top of the table. “No, it is a big deal. I was…upset. But I know you’re dealing with a lot, and it’s hard finding a balance. So, I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry, too
. I was
so
sorry. I wished I could tell him that. That I could whisper to him it was all a ruse and he had to go along with it to keep safe, but it wasn’t real. None of what I was about to say was true.

I gave him a small smile, but pulled my hand back. His sigh reached my ears.  

“You see what a mess this has become,” I told him.

“A mess.” He repeated the word like it tasted bad in his mouth.

I nodded. “Trying to have a relationship after all that’s happened. After what’s still happening. It doesn’t make sense.”

Finn straightened in his seat, arms folding across his chest. Defensive. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying this isn’t working.”

“It’s working pretty damn well for me.” He glanced around, and I could tell he was strategizing, trying to decide what to say. How to say it. “Charlotte, maybe we should go upstairs.”

“You won’t listen to me up there,” I murmured. And that was at least partially the truth. He’d listen to the tone of my voice instead of my words, and he’d know I wasn’t committed to what I was saying. And then he’d try to convince me otherwise. If I didn’t stay strong, I’d probably let him.

He curled his hand on top of the table, inches from mine. “I’m listening now.”

I tucked my hands in my lap. “I can’t do this. Us. We can’t be together.”

“Charlotte–”

“You said you were listening.”

“I am, but you don’t really mean what you’re saying.”

I stood, clenching my hands together to keep them from shaking. “Do
not
tell me I don’t mean what I’m saying.”

“That’s not–Charlotte, wait.” Finn got out of his seat and reached out for me.

When I narrowed my eyes at him, he gritted his teeth and pocketed his hands. “Don’t do this,” he said.

“Finn, please. Let’s not make this harder than it has to be. We still have to work together. It’s–”

“Bullshit. Like I said before. This is ridiculous.” He ran a hand through his hair. “No, wait–don’t go. Okay, listen.”

My heart cracked a little at the plea in his tone. His face softened and he stepped up to me. If he touched me, I might break. I’d break down and let myself be wrapped in his arms.

“Something is going on, and I can only imagine what.” His jaw clenched. He held my gaze. “But you have to know you can trust me.”

“Finn, it’s not about trust. It’s about what’s best for both of us.”

“Now
you’re
trying to speak for me. You have no idea what’s best for me.”

I squared my shoulders. I had to go soon. I couldn’t keep this up. “You’re right. I have no idea what’s best for you, but I know what’s best for me. This is over.”

His entire body froze, even the expression on his face. It almost looked like he hadn’t heard me. Until his eyes dropped.

“You said you were falling in love with me,” he said.

My heart broke. I had. And I’d meant it. And that was probably the biggest thing keeping him from believing me right now. I wouldn’t believe me either.

“It’s still not working,” I said.

“We can work on it, then.”

“No, we can’t. Let’s be professional. Let’s do our jobs. That’s all we need to do.”

He shook his head. “Charlotte.”

“I’m done, Finn.” I took a step. My eyes burned with tears, throat ached with emotion. “I need to go.”

“Charlotte,” he said again, voice only a whisper.

I forced myself to ignore it. Forced myself to walk by him, nod to Curtis, and head straight for my apartment. If I broke down in there, no one would know. I could curl up with the pain in my heart and sleep. Or cry. Or both.

Until I made a new plan.

Curtis and I didn’t speak. I had no doubt he’d seen what happened, but I didn’t care anymore. The more believable I made this, the better chance I had of throwing Mark off.

Inside my apartment, I set my purse on the table by the door. My phone rang from within, and I pulled it out, already knowing who was on the other end.

“Hello, Charlotte,” Mark said when I answered. “You did a good job.”

“I did what you asked. Leave my family and my friends alone.”

His laugh made chills race up my arms. “Feisty. I’ve often wondered what kind of person you’ve grown into, Charlotte. And I have to admit, I like a little spunk. But you’d better keep your mouth shut. No one needs to know we’ve been talking. You keep it that way and everyone will be safe.”

“I didn’t tell anyone anything. I just…” I swallowed, and told him the truth. “I want this to be over.”

“So do I. But I have to lay low until things settle. But don’t worry, I’ll be around. I’ll still be watching. And soon…” His voice went soft. Almost wistful. “We’ll be together.”

Cringing, I waited for him to end the call. I’d
never
get back together with him. But he had to believe that I would. That was the only way this would work.

After Mark was off the line, I set aside my phone and walked numbly to my bedroom. Kneeling, I snatched the box from under the bed and walked it back to the living room. I lit the fireplace.

With tears running down my cheeks and a hole in my heart, I tossed the tie in the fireplace and watched it burn. Flames licked at the material.

I watched it until there was nothing left. Until all I saw was fire, until all I felt was an all-consuming rage. Mark had made me ruin my relationship with Finn and he was going suffer the consequences.

Look for Book Two in the Oasis series

Coming this November, and turn the page

For a sneak peek at the first chapter.

Chapter One

It was the longest week I’d ever had.

Even longer than the week I’d decided to leave Mark for good. That week had been full of planning and hiding and secrets and fear. I’d almost felt like I didn’t have enough time.

But this…this was a whole new kind of torture.

The kind that dug deep into my heart, my gut, and threatened to rip me apart.

I missed Finn.

Getting ready on Thursday morning in my apartment, I went through the ritual of dressing and putting on makeup and brushing my teeth, but it was just a routine. A way to zone out while my mind fought battles with itself.

I’d broken up with Finn last week. I’d given in to what Mark wanted. And since then, I hadn’t done anything but worry about my next step.

But what was I supposed to do?

Following my heart meant putting Finn in danger. Standing up to Mark meant putting myself and others in danger. But playing along meant staying safe. For now.

With a sigh, I dumped the rest of my coffee into the sink and grabbed the pad of sticky notes on the edge of the counter.

I jotted down
Tables
and
Auction Slips
, then tapped the pen against my lips. The Oasis Gala was this Saturday. I had my dress, I had all the details in order. The only thing I didn’t have was Finn.

We’d have to see each other at the gala. There was no way out of it. We had to present a united front. We were showcasing Oasis to the world.

Rubbing my hand over my cheek, I sighed. A speech. One of us–or both–was going to have to get up there and welcome everyone. Say a few words about the place and how it came about. Our vision for it moving forward.

How had we overlooked this? I had the itinerary, I’d talked with everyone else, I’d prepared. With another sigh, I wrote Finn’s name on the sticky note as well and ripped the small square of paper off the pad.

Of course. I hadn’t been talking to him this whole week. And last week I’d been distracted.

It was my fault I wasn’t on my game, and my fault Finn was stuck in the middle.

Checking the time on my phone, I frowned. If I didn’t leave now, I was going to be late. If nothing else, I had my job. I had the main thing I’d come here for. I couldn’t lose that.

And if Mark tried to make me give it up…

No, I couldn’t let that happen. I
wouldn’t
let that happen.

I snagged my purse off the counter, and the sticky note vanished.

Grumbling, I turned around, looking on the floor. No note. I looked at the cabinets, and even checked my skirt in case it had stuck to that. No luck.

With another heavy sigh, I rewrote the note and walked to the door.

When I opened it and saw Dustin, I yanked in a sharp breath.

“Sorry,” he said kindly. “I was about to knock.” He checked his watch. “Just making sure everything is okay.”

“I’m–I’m running a little late.” I closed the door firmly behind me and listened for the automatic lock. “You really don’t have to–”

“Yes, I do,” Dustin said with a smile that was just as kind as his voice. “It’s my job. Powell posted me here, so please, Ms. Evans, let me do my job.”

I gave a small laugh. I was well aware of how intimidating Curtis Powell could be. He was head of security, but he had far more experience than simply working at Oasis. Finn hadn’t disclosed all of it, but Curtis knew what he was doing.

I trusted him.

Then why aren’t you telling him the truth?
I asked myself. Because I was afraid. I was afraid of the cameras. I was afraid John, the security guy, would see. I was afraid he’d tell Mark. I knew they were working together–just as I knew I had to make a move soon–and it scared the hell out of me.

“Ms. Evans?” Dustin said, gesturing down the hallway.

“Of course. Sorry.”

Inside the elevator, I heard my phone ring from my purse pocket, and pulled it out. The phone calls for the gala had been nonstop this past week. It was a welcome distraction.

I barely even glanced at the screen before answering. “Charlotte Evans.”

“Good morning,” he said in his deep, smooth voice.

My heart jolted. Mark. Words clogged in the back of my throat.

“I see you still have an escort,” he said.

I glanced at Dustin. He was minding his own business, hands tucked behind his back and eyes on the display over the elevator doors.

“It makes the most sense,” I said tightly.

“Feisty.” There was a smile in Mark’s voice. “Just an observation. Soon you won’t need them. It’ll just be me and you.”

Bile rose in my throat. I blurted the first thing that came to mind as the elevator dinged. “I’m on my way to work. Can we talk later?”

I regretted the words instantly, but what else was I supposed to say? I didn’t want Dustin to get suspicious. I didn’t want anyone to get suspicious. I had to make Mark believe I was doing what he wanted. I had to play along, or else I might not have another chance to make it through this.

“Absolutely,” Mark said. “I’ll be in touch.”

I ended the call, casting Dustin a smile at the same time. “Last minute Gala details.”

“Sounds like it’s going to be quite the party.”

We left Housing and walked into the Commons. It was bright inside, with people strolling or rushing on various paths to get to work or to get home, or to get coffee from one of the many kiosks Finn was smart enough to add. The air smelled like sunshine and water, and it almost felt like I was taking a stroll through the park instead of walking inside a gigantic dome of a building to get to work.

But that was the point. It wasn’t supposed to feel enclosed. It was supposed to feel spacious and comfortable. Oasis was supposed to provide all the amenities and comforts of the real world, but with a lot more ease. So that people had time to enjoy the little things. To be able to free up some time to have a real life instead of living for work and priorities.

So far, it didn’t seem to be working for me. Work was the only thing that had managed to keep Mark off my mind, although what I really wanted was time with Finn. A chance to explain. A chance to say sorry.

We reached the Business Community and Dustin held the door for me. “Powell would like for me to escort you to the gala, and stick close throughout.”

I glanced up at him, a mix of emotions rushing through me. I was supposed to go to the gala with Finn. But it was better this way.

“So I guess you’ll kind of be my date, then?”

He nodded at the security guard as we passed. “If you don’t mind me saying, it seems like a pretty good deal.”

I smiled. “I don’t mind you saying. I’ve got it from here.”

He waited with me by the elevator until the doors opened. “I’ll be close by.”

Inside, I let out a breath and closed my eyes, mentally preparing to see Finn. I had too much to do today to avoid him. We needed to make sure we were on the same page with the gala. I straightened when the elevator dinged, and the doors opened to release me into the lobby of our office.

Leslie smiled at me from her desk, turning her mouth away from the phone to say, “I like that skirt.”

I returned her smile. “It’s new. It makes me feel like my third grade teacher.”

“Your third grade teacher must’ve been hot,” she said, and then continued her conversation smoothly while I laughed.

My gaze flicked to Finn’s office. I could only see the empty table in front of the window and a few chairs. But not Finn.

He was probably at his desk. Hopefully at his desk, so I’d have time to grab a muffin and get to mine.

I ducked into the break room, and then nearly tripped when I saw Finn at the counter picking through a basket of fruit. He stepped forward, with a smooth fluidity that I might have appreciated if he hadn’t been cupping my elbow to keep me from falling. His fingers were warm on my skin, sending tingles all the up my arm.

Exhaling, part in surprise, and part in longing, I stepped back. “Sorry.”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You okay?”

“Of course. I–” My words jumbled in my throat when he took a step closer to me again. “Finn.”

He bent and snatched something off my purse. He held up the sticky note that I had lost this morning, eyebrows lifting.

With a nervous laugh, I said, “My to-do list.”

His gaze swept the paper. “Tables. Auction forms…Finn?”

“No, that’s not–” I snatched the sticky note from him, wading it up, even as heat wormed its way into my cheeks. I shoved the waded paper in my purse, and then held it close to my body like it might somehow inspire me to stay calm. “I mean, yes. I put your name on the list because I need to talk to you.”

He tossed an apple from one hand to the other, his strong fingers dwarfing the fruit. It was only last week that those hands had been all over me. Seeking, taking, driving me crazy. And I missed them. But it wasn’t just his hands or his body, which was covered in a three-piece suit that nearly had my mouth watering. It was the security of him being there. The knowing that he was there for me. Only me.

It was the sweetness of realizing how much he loved me. And toward the end, I realized I loved him, too. Because of that, I’d had to let it all go.

But part of me wondered if I’d ruined it between us forever. Finn’s eyes were shadowed, and he looked tired, but he didn’t look vulnerable. His jaw was tight, shoulders tense. Nothing in his stance or his face was welcoming. Open.

If I lost Finn forever, this time it was my fault. It might keep him safe, but it might break us both in the meantime.

“I have a few minutes,” Finn said, still tossing the apple. “I’m assuming this is about the gala.”

I nodded. “I have the speakers lined up, but I wanted to see if you were going to say something.”

“I have a few words prepared,” he said. “I’ll introduce the place, you.” His eyes softened just a little. “Say a little something about the inspiration for Oasis. And then encourage people to make donations, of course.”

Swallowing and taking my eyes from his, I nodded again. “Sounds like you’ve got it covered.”

“I do.”

I inched toward the door. “I’ll have you sitting at the table closest to the stage. I noticed Jake was on the list–I’ll make sure he has a place next to you.”

“You’ll be there, of course,” Finn said, bringing my gaze back up. “At the same table?”

I smiled. “Right.”

“I imagine you don’t want me to come pick you up.”

His words made my heart squeeze. There was hurt behind them that radiated all the way to my soul. “Finn…it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

I
wanted
him to take me, but he couldn’t. It was a bad idea. And I wanted to tell him that. Then my gaze jerked to the corner of the room, the small camera tucked up at the ceiling.

“I should really get back to work,” I said.

Finn followed my eyes. His jaw flexed. “I understand.”

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but before he could, I turned and hurried to my office. I passed Tucker with a quick wave, but didn’t stop. Inside my office, I looked up to the corners of the room, searching for the cameras. There didn’t appear to be any. But that didn’t mean there weren’t.

Was there anyone else besides John who knew the locations of every camera? If there was some sort of list, I’d know the safe zones. I would know where I could talk to Curtis and maybe get this resolved. And then maybe I could talk to Finn, too. Explain to him the situation.

“Charlotte?” Tucker said from the doorway.

I jumped, whipping around with my heart racing.

“Whoa,” he said, holding one hand up. “I’m sorry. I thought you heard me.”

Rubbing my hand over my eyes, I seated myself at my desk. “I’m sorry, Tucker. It’s…It’s been a long week.”

He smiled, nodding his head in understanding. “I know. I already have ten messages for you just from this morning.” He set the papers on my desk, and then pointed to the one on the top. A folded piece of paper. “And Mr. Moore asked me to give this one to you.”

I angled my head. “Just now?”

He nodded. “When you came out of the break room. He scribbled a note at Leslie’s desk and gave it to me.”

“Thank you, Tucker.”

He left the office and I reached for the paper. Easing it open just enough to see his strong, masculine handwriting, I read his message.

No cameras in my office. Will talk when you’re ready.

I slapped a hand over the paper, afraid for a moment someone might see it. One of those cameras I was worried about.

Did it really make sense to get Finn involved in this again? Before I’d made some sort of plan? If I talked with him, if there was a chance at a relationship with him again, it was just a matter of time before someone found out.

No, before John found out. He’d see us on one of the cameras. Or Finn would convince me to do something that would give us away.