Every Breath You Take (Oasis Book 1) (20 page)

He started to reach for the covers, but I flopped onto my back. “No, I’m getting up. I just…need some clothes.”

“What do you need clothes for?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “You want me to eat dinner naked?”

“Yes, please.”

Laughing, I pushed him over on the bed. My towel slipped lose, and before I could fix it, Finn snagged it and threw it off the bed. I sprawled across him, trying to get it. He caught me around the waist, hauling me on top of him.

He crushed me close and I rested my head on his shoulder. “If you weren’t so tired, I’d take advantage of you being naked.”

“Maybe if you feed me first.”

“What do you want?”

“Pizza.”

He smiled, cheek brushing my damp hair. “Pizza in bed. Coming up.”

We ate in Finn’s room, with the city lights twinkling outside his window, and music playing in the background. When he took a phone call, I sunk under the covers and listened to the deep timbre of his voice for as long as I could stay awake.

I hadn’t meant to sleep in Finn’s room, but his bed was so big and comfortable, with cool sheets against my legs and a pillow made of the softest feathers. Before I knew it, I was out.

The tie was the color of blood, fresh and bright red like you’d just pricked your finger with a needle or a pin.

“You shouldn’t have left,” Mark said, sliding the tie through his hands over and over again.

“I’m back now,” I whimpered. “It’s okay.”

He gave a slow smile, the kind I’d learned meant so much more than what it seemed on the surface. “You’re right. You’re back. And you’ll never leave me again.” He took a step closer. “Say it.”

“Wh-what?”

“Say you’ll never leave me again.”

The words were bitter in my mouth, and I had to force them out. “I’ll never leave you again.”

“Good,” he murmured. “Very good. Now go unpack.”

I blinked. Unpack? He wasn’t going to hit me? To make me get on my knees and beg? Or worse, make me strip down and let him take me on the floor while my mind whirled with all the other places I could be right now.

Hesitantly, I turned, ready to walk to the front door where I’d set my bag when we got back. Then something wrapped around my neck. Something soft. Not his hands this time. The tie. He jerked me back against him and my knees buckled. I struggled to get my footing as the tie cut off my air.

“You will
never
leave me like that again, you hear me?”

I tried to nod, but I could barely move my head. I clawed at the tie, trying to get my fingers under the material. I gasped for air, but it wouldn’t reach my lungs.

“Ma…” I couldn’t say his name. But he’d stop eventually. He had to or he’d kill me. I gave up on the tie and swung back with my elbows, trying to get him to loosen his grip. But he just squeezed tighter.

Blackness swirled at the edges of my vision. My energy left me, and I slumped against him, sliding to the floor.

“That’s right, baby,” Mark murmured. “You’re mine. You do what I want. Now and forever.”

I passed out on the floor right at his feet.

When I woke, I heard someone say my name. Not Finn’s voice, someone else.

I yanked in a breath, at first relieved the air reached my lungs, and then paralyzed with fear. I wasn’t in Finn’s room. It was a dimly lit hallway.

Someone touched my arm. I gasped, already scrambling to my feet to run.

“Wait,” he said.

I darted from the hallway and into the living room. The lights were on, but there wasn’t anyone there. I could smell Finn on my shirt, feel him somewhere in the apartment. But I couldn’t find him.

Arms closed around me.

“No!” I screamed.

And with all my might, I swung back with my arm, catching my elbow on their sternum. The arms loosened and I ran.

Chapter Sixteen

Footsteps came after me as I raced to the elevator. I slammed my hand against the button, heart lurching, and turned to see two people coming after me.

My breath caught. My stomach dropped.

“Finn,” I said, back pressed against the wall next to the elevator doors. Curtis was just behind him, eyes dark with concern.

The elevator dinged open. Finn winced, grabbing his chest, and said, “Charlotte, it’s me.”

“She must have been dreaming,” Curtis said, talking to Finn like I wasn’t standing in front of them.

I put a shaky hand to my mouth, and slid down the wall until I was sitting on the cool floor.

“Charlotte,” Finn said again, venturing a step closer. “Are you awake now?”

I nodded.

His shoulders relaxed and he glanced at Curtis.

“A nightmare,” Curtis confirmed. He jerked his chin to the office off the living room. “I’ll give you a moment.”

When Finn turned back to me, he looked like he wasn’t sure whether to reach out for me or back up. Instead, he rubbed the spot over his chest again. “I guess the self-defense class was worthwhile.”

“Oh my God, Finn, I’m so sorry,” I babbled. My legs didn’t have the strength to stand, so I appealed to him with my eyes. “I didn’t know Curtis was here and–and I thought you were someone else.”

“I know,” Finn soothed. He sat on the floor next to me. He reached out, but hesitated with his hand hovering over my bare knee. “Can I…?”

I threw myself into his arms. He nearly fell backward, but steadied us with one arm while the other wrapped around me.

“Finn,” I sobbed into his ear. “He almost–he had the tie–”

“Wait, what? Charlotte,” Finn murmured, trying to ease back to look at my face.

I wouldn’t let go. I only squeezed his neck tighter. “No, God, please don’t let go. Just–”

My breath yanked in, but it felt like the tie was still around my neck. “I can’t–can’t breathe‒”

“Yes, you can.” Finn pulled my arms from his neck. He cupped my cheeks between his palms. “Look at me. You can breathe. It was just a dream. You’re safe here in my apartment. In and out, Charlotte. Take slow breaths.”

I shook my head, and clawed at my throat, feeling that familiar haze of black crowding my vision. “It’s still–it’s here. It’s still here–”

“Nothing is there. Charlotte,” Finn said. “You have to calm down. You need–
shit
.” He glanced behind him, and then called, “Powell!”

“I–don’t–” I panicked, looking around the apartment, afraid Mark would suddenly appear and come after all of us

“Don’t talk,” Finn ordered, pulling my hands away from my throat. He glanced behind him when Curtis hurried into the room. “She’s panicking.”

Curtis knelt down in front of us, but it was already too late. His voice came to me even as I began to slump against Finn. “…slow breaths…Charlotte…”

I clutched at Finn’s shirt and felt his arms around me as the world faded away.

() () ()

When I woke again, I could breathe. I was on the couch in the living room and I could hear voices nearby. I still wore the same shorts and T-shirt I’d gone to bed in, but now I was covered in a thick blanket. Outside the window, the world was dark, the sky fathomless.

It reminded me of Mark’s eyes. The way he’d always stare at me like the worst was coming.

Sitting up slowly, I rubbed my chest where it still ached from my sharp breaths.
Oh, no…Curtis had seen me lose it. Really lose it.

I had only passed out because of a panic attack once before, and I thought I had it under control after that. But it was hard to take deep breaths when the image of a bloodred tie was in my head and I’d just attacked my boyfriend because I thought he was my ex-fiancé. And with an audience, too.

The voices stopped, and I glanced over my shoulder to see Finn exiting the kitchen with Curtis behind him. My cheeks heated.

I swallowed when Finn reached the couch, and sat up all the way, pushing at my hair. “I’m so sorry.” Then I spoke to Curtis, though I couldn’t meet his eyes. “I thought you were someone else. I didn’t expect to see you here. And…” I flicked a glance at Finn before lowering my gaze to my hands in my lap. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”

Finn sat next to me, trying to get a look at my face. “Don’t apologize. Are you okay?”

My laugh was harsh. “Me?
You’re
the one I hit. And…” My throat was hoarse and I tried to clear it. “Curtis. I…don’t know what to say.”

“Ms. Evans.” His voice was gentle. “You don’t have to say anything. I’ll get you some water.”

Finn’s fingers covered mine. “Charlotte. Look at me.”

I lifted my chin, feeling dangerously close to tears. “This is…not right.”

“No, it isn’t. Have you talked to someone about any of this?”

I blinked back the moisture in my eyes, pulling my hands away from his. “I was less worried about talking to someone and more worried about putting some distance between me and Mark.”

Finn’s throat moved with a swallow, but he tried again. “I think it might help.”

“What would help is if I could stop dreaming about his tie around my neck. About every time he hit me in the face or–or pushed me to the ground and made me–”

“God, Charlotte,” Finn said, anguish in his voice. “I can’t–”

I blew out a breath and stood. The blanket fell to the floor. “I know. You can’t deal with this. I wouldn’t want to either if I were you. My life is just…completely fucked up.”

Curtis stopped when he exited the kitchen, his face carefully lacking expression.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. I walked over to take the glass he held. “Thank you for the water. Thank you for being here. I just–I need a minute.”

He nodded. I couldn’t look at Finn before I walked away, down the opposite hallway to the guest room. My bag was set on the bed, the covers still askew from earlier. The clock read 12:45 am. What the hell was Curtis doing here this late? Had he found out something? Gotten more information on Mark?

I pulled a pair of sweatpants out of my bag and put those on instead of the shorts, and then added socks as well.

Maybe it was better if I went back to my apartment. Or called Paige. I sighed. She was probably already asleep. I was still in the middle of my internal debate when I heard footsteps. Finn appeared in the doorway.

I stared at him from across the room. “Did Curtis leave?”

Finn nodded. “But he or someone else will be close if we need them. Or if you…” He eyed my outfit, and my open bag. “If you want to go back to your apartment.”

“It might be best.”

He propped his hand on the doorframe, not taking even one step into the room. “For who?”

“You, Finn. It would be best for you to not have to deal with all this.”

“Since when is that your decision?” he said, voice low and calm. “I’m pretty sure I’m a big boy. I can handle things.”

I bit my lip, ridiculously ready for a fight. Anything to get out the fear and anger I was feeling. Mark had ruined my life, and now Finn was trying to help pick up the pieces.

“It didn’t sound like you were handling it out there,” I told him.

“I handled it like any normal man who’s finding out just how horrible the woman he loves got treated by another asshole I can’t get my hands on,” Finn growled. “I’m handling it, Charlotte.”

The woman he loves
. It killed me when he said those words. Because he meant it. Because he said it without hesitation and without fear.

“Please don’t be mad at me. I–”

“Hell yes, I’m mad.” Finn walked into the room. “I’m mad at you for not trusting me to be here for you. I’m mad at the whole fucking situation. And I’m pissed as hell at your ex that he broke you down.”

“Finn,” I whispered, the backs of my legs pressing against the window seat.

“I’m
mad
. But I can be mad without hitting you or putting a goddamn tie around your neck.” Finn’s face was red, and he ran a shaky hand through his hair. “How many times did he do that to you, Charlotte?”

I couldn’t move from my spot by the window, afraid to tell him and afraid not to. Finn wasn’t asking much from me. Yes, it felt like everything, but he’d given me everything by being honest with how he felt about me.

“Once with the tie,” I said. “And once with his hands.”

Finn gritted his teeth. “What else?”

“He’d hit me when he was angry. A lot.”

His chest moved up and down with his breaths.

I lowered my chin, all the anger leaving me. “And he’d…force me to be with him even if I didn’t want to.”