Eternally Yours (17 page)

S
yneda had taken a break from work and stood at the office window staring down at the busy New York streets. It was hard to believe it was the end of September already. That meant she and Clayton had been seeing each other for almost five months.

Their relationship had fallen into a comfortable pattern for the both of them, proving that a long-distance affair could work in certain situations.

Not to overcrowd the other, they’d set a pattern of seeing each other every other weekend. Clayton either came to New York or they met somewhere in between. The weeks they were apart, he would send flowers, candy, balloons, cute stuffed animals or some other sort of “I’m thinking of you” gift.

Not once had she visited him in Houston for fear of running into members of his family. And although she talked with Lorren regularly, they never discussed her relationship with Clayton. However, Lorren had mentioned some family members were getting more and more curious about his frequent out-of-town weekend trips that he was not discussing with anyone.

Usually whenever Clayton came to town, they spent a quiet evening with dinner at her place or at a restaurant. Once in a while they would order out. Sometimes they rented videos to watch, and at other times they went to a movie or took in a Broadway play or concert. A lot of times they just stayed inside the apartment simply listening to music and talking. Although they still disagreed on a number of things, they were attuned to each other in their perceptions and attitudes of what they considered important.

Syneda drew in a sigh. Their time together seemed so natural and so right. She refused to question the changes that were taking place in her life; positive changes Clayton was responsible for. And she tried not to think about how much he was beginning to mean to her. Things were good between them and she wanted them to stay that way.

She smiled. Clayton was flying in this weekend and she couldn’t wait to see him. She hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks and she missed him.

After his shower, Clayton returned to the living room and found Syneda where he’d left her over twenty minutes ago. She was still sitting Indian style on the sofa with a law book in one hand and a legal pad in the other.

Busy writing, she hadn’t noticed his presence so he took the opportunity to study her. He always enjoyed watching her this way, intense and absorbed with what she was doing. She had no guards up around him and was totally relaxed with him being there, invading her space, or rather, as he preferred thinking, being a part of it.

When Syneda stopped writing a few minutes later, she arched her back, working out the kinks that had settled there. Then she looked up and saw Clayton watching her.

She released a deep sigh that was from the satisfaction of him being there with her as much as from finally piecing together a new argument for the Jamison appeal. Putting down the book and legal pad, she stood and slowly walked over to him, placing her arms around his neck. She knew the desire in her eyes revealed what she needed and what she wanted. No words had to be spoken. He gathered her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

Sometime later, they lay together in the dark silence of the room, their bodies still joined in the torrid, sweet aftermath of their lovemaking.

“I can’t seem to get enough of you,” Clayton said, his voice thick and dazed. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest. The emotional force of their lovemaking was beyond anything he had ever experienced.

“I feel the same way,” Syneda said drowsily. “You’re special, Clayton. You’re my friend, as well as my lover.”

Clayton kissed her tenderly. “I know it might be a little early to ask, but are you planning to come to the big Madaris Thanksgiving bash?” he asked a few minutes later.

Syneda smiled up at him. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. In fact, your mom called last week just to make sure I was coming. She invited me to stay with them again this year.”

“You turned her down, of course.”

A bemused frown covered Syneda’s features. “Why would I do that?”

Clayton reached down and gently pinched her nose. “Because, sweetheart, when you come to Houston, I want you sleeping in my bed, and not some bed at my mom’s house.”

Syneda’s eyes widened in surprise. “Clayton, you know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because your family doesn’t know about us.”

“Then it’s time they found out.”

“No.”

“Yes,” Clayton countered, rolling to his side, disengaging their bodies but still cradling Syneda in his arms. Over the past few weeks, he had given serious thought to finally telling his family about them. He felt he and Syneda were ready to take that next step. However, by the look on her face, it was obvious she felt otherwise.

“I don’t want to treat what we’re doing like some cheap backroom affair when it’s not. It really makes no sense for us to continue sneaking around like being together is wrong.”

“Don’t do this to us, Clayton,” Syneda said softly, caressing his arm. “You know how I feel about your family finding out about us. You said you understood.”

Clayton tilted Syneda’s chin up so that their eyes could meet. “Somehow you have this notion that me understanding certain things is the same thing as me endorsing them. You were wrong in believing that about Cassie Drayton and Larry Morgan, and you’re wrong in believing that about us. I do understand your fears, but after spending the past months together, I would have hoped I’d helped put some of them to rest. Especially your misconceived notions about my family. They love you. Don’t you know that nothing could tarnish that?”

Syneda’s chin trembled. “I can’t take any chances. Other than Lorren and Mama Nora, your family is the closest thing to a real family that I’ve ever had.” She gazed into the depths of his dark eyes. “I can’t risk losing that. Not even for you.”

Clayton frowned. “I still don’t understand why you think you would. My parents weren’t born in the Stone Age, Syneda. They stopped being shocked about anything when they thought they would surprise Kattie at college in New Orleans, and showed up unexpectedly to find that she and Raymond were living together. They would understand us wanting to be together at my place.”

“In other words, you want to openly flaunt our affair in front of them,” Syneda said coolly.

“No, but I want them to know there’s something special between us.”

“Don’t you understand what that will do? What happens next Thanksgiving when things have ended between us and you’re dating someone else, perhaps seriously? How will they feel having both your old girlfriend and your present one there? It wouldn’t be fair to place your family in a position of feeling obligated to continue to include me in the family gatherings, and it wouldn’t be fair to your new girlfriend, who could possibly become your wife, to know you and I were once lovers. How do you think she would feel?”

“You don’t have to worry about anything like that happening,” Clayton snapped. “There won’t be another woman.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Because I love you.”

Syneda gasped and stared at him. It seemed her voice left her. “You can’t mean that?”

This was not the way he had intended on revealing his feelings to her. “I do mean it,” Clayton said curtly. “I love you and want to marry you.”

Clayton’s words hit Syneda with the force of a ton of bricks. Unable to lie passively in his arms any longer, she jumped out of bed. Glancing around the room, she noticed their clothing tossed carelessly about the room. Spying Clayton’s dress shirt thrown on the floor, she automatically reached down and put it on.

Clayton watched Syneda through hooded eyes. She was not handling this the way he had hoped. “I really don’t understand why you’re trippin’. We’ve been seeing each other constantly for nearly five months, during which time I haven’t seen any other woman. Why can’t you believe that I love you?”

Syneda turned to face him. “I believe you may think you do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you see how happy and content Justin and Dex are, and think now is the time to try it for yourself.”

“Don’t try rationalizing my feelings for you, Syneda. I love you, plain and simple.”

Syneda’s eyes filled with tears. “No, Madaris. Nothing about love is plain and simple. Have you forgotten I can write a book on the word, or rather the lack of it? Sex is plain and simple, not love. My mom died not knowing the difference. But unfortunately, I had to find out the hard way that a night she spent in passion with some man, which may have been plain and simple love for her, was nothing but plain and simple sex for him.”

“I’m not your father, Syneda. I love you and you’re wrong. What we’ve shared these past months has nothing to do with sex. I fell in love with you in Florida. The reason I never told you was because I wanted to give our relationship a chance to grow gradually. You may deny it now, but I believe deep down you love me, too.”

“No! I don’t love you. I don’t love any man. All I wanted to share with you was an affair. You broke the rules, Clayton, and I can’t believe you’ve done that. I thought you’d be different from the others. You were supposed to understand.” She turned and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

When Syneda came out of the bathroom some time later, Clayton was dressed in a pair of jeans and a cashmere cardigan. His bags were packed.

They faced each other for a moment without speaking, then Clayton was the first to break the unnerving tension of silence. He walked over to stand before her.

“I felt it best that I leave, under the circumstances.”

Syneda took a deep breath and lifted her tear-stained face to him. “I agree, you should leave. You’re asking too much of me, Clayton. There can’t ever be anything beyond what we’ve been sharing these past months.”

“I want more, Syneda. I want an entire lifetime. I want you to be eternally mine.”

“I can’t give you that. When I accepted your proposal it was with the understanding that either of us could end it at any time. Well, I’m ending it.”

“Don’t do this to us, Syneda.”

“I didn’t do anything, you did.”

“You think falling in love with you was wrong?”

“I don’t want your love, Clayton. I didn’t ask for it, and I don’t want it.”

Clayton flinched. Her rejection of his love hurt, and he felt his heart breaking into a million pieces.

Without saying a word, he picked up his baggage, turned and walked out of the bedroom. It was only after Syneda heard the sound of the door closing behind him that she gave in to her tears.

Celeste slipped out of bed when she heard Braxter singing in the shower. Moving quickly, she picked up the phone and began dialing.

“It’s me,” she whispered to the person who had picked up the phone. “What have you found out?”

She frowned. “What do you mean you haven’t found out anything? It’s been almost three weeks,” she said angrily, her voice rising a little. “There has to be a connection. I saw the look on the senator’s face every time he looked at her. Trust me, he knows Syneda Walters from somewhere, and I want you to find out where. I need to have—”

Celeste stopped talking when she heard noise behind her. She turned around. Braxter was standing in the bathroom doorway, his eyes a fuming dark as they locked with hers. There was no doubt in her mind that he had overheard her conversation. She quickly hung up the phone.

“Braxter, sweetheart, don’t look at me that way.”

“Who were you talking to on the phone?” he demanded in a loud voice. “And why is Syneda Walters of interest to you?”

Celeste backed up a little when he came toward her. His hand tightened on her arm when she didn’t answer him. “I asked you a question, Celeste.”

Celeste could feel his anger. “Let go of me, Braxter. I don’t have to tell you anything that I don’t want to.”

Braxter’s eyes blazed. “Who the hell are you and just what is your game, lady?”

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, and I said let me go, or so help me, I’ll scream so loud all of the occupants of this apartment building will hear me. I can just see tomorrow’s headlines—‘Senator Lansing’s Top Aide Arrested for Manhandling a Woman in His Apartment.”’

When Braxter released her arm, she turned her face up to him and smiled. “I thought you’d see it my way. You’re always mindful of shielding the senator from any negative publicity.”

She walked around him and began getting dressed. “It was fun while it lasted, Braxter.”

“Who are you working for?”

Celeste heard the pain in his voice and ignored it. “I work for no one.”

Braxter walked over to the dresser and grabbed her purse, emptying the contents in the middle of his bed.

“What do you think you’re doing!”

Braxter said nothing as he picked up her small appointment book and thumbed through it. He didn’t see anything unusual, just little notations about what he assumed to be job-related appointments.

Then he flipped through her driver’s license and charge cards, which indicated the name she had given him was her real name. He threw them aside and picked up her checkbook and began flipping through it. His eyes widened at the large amount she had deposited in her personal account a few months ago. It was exactly two days before they had met. He turned around and his eyes met hers.