Eternally Yours (12 page)

Syneda’s mind began reeling as she eyed him from head to toe. He was an incredibly sexy man whether he was dressed in a suit, jeans…or nothing at all, she thought. She noticed he was holding two filled wineglasses. He handed her one of them.

“I thought you could probably use this. I take it you’ve had a bad day.”

Syneda graciously took the drink he offered. “That’s putting it mildly.” She took a sip. “Thanks. Something smells wonderful. What is it?”

Clayton smiled. “It’s a surprise. I just hope you’re hungry.”

Syneda laughed. “Clayton, I could eat a horse about now.”

“Well, dinner is ready when you are. Would you like to take a warm bath to unwind first?”

“That’s not a bad idea. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Clayton watched as Syneda rounded the sofa and went into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. He had found incredible hunger raging through him upon the sight of her. He only hoped his plan would work. He didn’t want to push her into anything, but with Syneda, some things had to be forced on her, and accepting a relationship between the two of them was going to be one of them. She was so certain she didn’t want or need the love of a man in her life that she was overlooking the obvious. A man who loved her was already in her life.

Over the past few days, he had done a lot of thinking about what she had told him the last night they had spent together; specifically, the information she had shared about her father. Whether she was willing to admit it to herself or not, the pain of her father’s rejection and abandonment was clouding the way she thought about love.

He knew she had some deep-rooted fears. The first being her fear of ever becoming dependent upon anyone, especially a man. And for that reason he understood her need for more space than normal. She would never agree to a relationship that would be confining.

She was also a private person, and she thought she couldn’t become seriously involved with a person for that reason. She didn’t know that the key to that problem would be for her to become involved with someone with whom her privacy wouldn’t be threatened.

And then there were her biggest fears, rejection and abandonment. It was plain she had decided the best way to avoid the heartache of both was by not getting close to anyone.

He could only imagine the pain, anguish, and disappointment she’d endured when her father had not shown up for her. In his mind, Clayton could envision her at the age of ten standing at the window peering out, waiting day after day after day.

Having been involved with Big Brothers of America, he’d always taken pleasure in watching a fatherless boy who’d been patiently waiting for a Big Brother finally get one. The joy, excitement and happiness on the kid’s face was priceless. But because Syneda’s father had never shown up for her, she had been cheated out of experiencing any of those emotions.

Clayton expelled a deep breath and walked back into the kitchen. He had a big job on his hands. He was deeply in love with Syneda and was determined that in time, she would put the past behind her and return his love. What she needed was time to heal, and he had found a way to give her the time she needed while still sharing a relationship with him.

He hoped she would go along with what he would be proposing to her. She was a strong-willed woman, but he’d have to be even stronger to get her to do something she would be totally against doing. But he was determined that before he left on Sunday, she would have accepted the fact that there could never be a platonic relationship between them again.

The warm bath was a wonderful idea, Syneda thought. Turning on the faucet she added a generous amount of her favorite bubble-bath gel to the flowing water. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply as the fragrance of a flower garden began filling the steamy room.

Removing her clothes, Syneda sank to her neck in the bubbles a few minutes later. She felt somewhat guilty about how much Clayton had done since his arrival. From the smell of things in the kitchen, undoubtedly he had prepared quite a feast. There was no way he could have found the ingredients he had needed to cook with in her kitchen, which meant he had gone grocery shopping. That thought made her feel even more guilty. He was her guest, she was not his. It seemed Clayton was always going out of his way to take care of her.

Getting out of the bath some time later, she toweled herself dry before lotioning her body. She liked the way the fragrance of the lotion lingered on her skin. After changing into a pair of slacks and a top, she entered the living room.

Syneda found Clayton sitting on her sofa, finishing the rest of his wine. He looked up when she entered and smiled.

“How do you feel now?”

“A lot better, but my problem will still be there to haunt me on Monday.”

“Is it a case you’re working on?” Clayton asked, handing her another glass of wine.

“Yes and it’s a bummer. My client is—or I should say was, since it seems I’m no longer representing her—the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in New York. She’s unmarried and pregnant, and her father wants her to give the child up for adoption.”

“What does she want?”

Syneda sat down on the sofa. “She wants to keep her baby and marry the father of her child. He wants to marry her, too.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“John Drayton doesn’t think Larry Morgan is good enough for his daughter. And he’s determined to ruin the young man’s career unless he agrees to give in and sign papers giving the child up for adoption.”

“Unless the woman is a minor, Syneda, there’s really nothing the father can do, however, it’s understandable why he would want to.”

Syneda raised arched brows. “And just what does that mean?”

“It means that although the man is playing his role of father a little too thick, I can understand him wanting the best for his daughter.”

Clayton’s response rankled her. “Wanting the best for his daughter? That has nothing to do with it, Madaris,” Syneda snapped. “He just wants to control her life.”

“A life she undoubtedly couldn’t control on her own. If she could, then she wouldn’t be pregnant now, would she?”

Syneda gave him a hostile glare. “Accidents
do
happen, Clayton. Everyone isn’t as overly cautious as you are. I can’t believe you’ve taken the father’s side in this.”

Clayton heaved an exasperated sigh. “I’m not taking anyone’s side. For Pete’s sake, I don’t even know these people. All I’m saying is that sometimes parents think they know what’s best for their children. You can’t hang the man because he thinks he’s doing the right thing.”

“But that’s just it. He isn’t doing the right thing. Cassie Drayton and Larry Morgan love each other. Their baby is a part of that love. But you wouldn’t understand something like love, would you?”

“I guess not. But I suppose
you
do.” Clayton could tell by her expression that his comment had nearly infuriated the life out of her. No doubt she felt like slapping him silly.

“I only know what I saw today, Madaris,” she said after having stared at him for a long moment with angry eyes. “And today I met a man who desperately wants to be with the woman he loves.”

“Ah, well now. It’s good to know some men who say ‘I love you’ aren’t just feeding women ‘lines,’” he said sarcastically with a sweetness that he knew probably pushed Syneda beyond the boiling point. He hoped she was beginning to realize she couldn’t judge every relationship in life based on what had happened between her parents.

Syneda’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, but what you’ve failed to—”

“Let’s just drop the subject. I don’t want to argue with you.”

“We aren’t arguing. I just don’t like—”

Before Syneda could finish what she was saying, she found herself lifted from the sofa and into Clayton’s arms. “This is the only way I know to shut you up.”

Before she could react, his mouth was opening over hers. Her struggles to free herself were useless. Clayton had her pinned in his arms while his mouth took over hers.

Syneda could not identify at what point she stopped resisting him as streaks of pleasure exploded deep within her. It seemed every desire she had tried to suppress since Clayton’s last visit came pouring out. She couldn’t help responding to the powerful sensual chemistry sizzling between them, and was unprepared for the sudden rush of hot passion that swept over her. She was a fool to have thought she had gotten this man out of her system.

She pressed herself against him, needing to feel his hard body and the strength of his arms holding her. She locked her arms around his neck and returned his kiss, wanting his taste to fill her mouth. Their kiss grew hotter, wilder, longer.

The sound of Syneda’s stomach growling echoed in the room. Clayton slowly lifted his head to first stare down at the sea-green eyes glazed with passion before moving lower to her full, inviting lips.

“You’re hungry,” he said huskily.

Syneda gazed into dark eyes that were starkly sexual. “Yes, I am,” she replied, her words coming out soft as whipped cream.

Clayton wanted nothing more than to carry her into the bedroom. But he knew he couldn’t. When they made love again, it would be on his terms. Terms he hoped she would agree to.

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand. He led her to the kitchen and sat her down at the table. After placing various casserole dishes before her, he sat down across from her. “First, we eat.”

Syneda’s throat suddenly felt dry. She should not have let him kiss her. The last thing she wanted was for him to think her position had shifted and they could be more than just friends. “After we eat, then what?” she asked in a curious whisper, looking into his eyes.

Clayton’s gaze held hers. The look in his eyes was intent, clear and challenging. “Then I’ll make you an offer I hope you can’t refuse.”

A
t first Syneda pretended not to have heard Clayton’s statement. She went about spooning the baked chicken, macaroni and cheese, okra and tomatoes and rice pilaf onto her plate. She put down her first mouthful, savoring the taste of the well-prepared meal. Finally the strain of curiosity was too much for her.

“What kind of offer are you talking about?”

Clayton smiled. He’d known her nonchalant attitude wouldn’t last long. She was an inquisitive person by nature. Most attorneys were. “I prefer we discuss it after dinner.”

“Why can’t we discuss it now?”

“I want to do it later.”

Syneda sighed. Experience had taught her Clayton did things when it suited him. Evidently this would be one of those times. “All right, suit yourself, but I may not want to hear anything you have to say after dinner.”

“I’ll take that chance.”

She frowned. She also knew from experience he enjoyed getting in the last word.

“How does everything taste?”

“Good. You’re an excellent cook.”

“Thanks.”

They ate in silence for several minutes, and then Clayton spoke. “Mom should be giving you a call in a few days.”

Syneda lifted her brow. “Why?”

“Uncle Jake is giving Senator Lansing a kickoff party for his reelection campaign at Whispering Pines sometime next month. More than likely Mom will be contacting you to make sure you come.”

Syneda smiled. “I’d love to come. You know how much I admire Senator Lansing. I’ve never met him, but I’m a big supporter of his.”

Clayton nodded. “The day after Senator Lansing’s party is Gramma Madaris’s eightieth birthday. We’ll be having another party to celebrate that, too. Knowing Mom she’ll want all of us to spend the night at Whispering Pines so we’ll all be accounted for on Sunday.”

“Okay.” Syneda knew that sleepover also included her. Ever since Lorren had married into the Madaris family, they had not held any family gatherings that had not included her. She knew Clayton’s mother, Marilyn Madaris, considered her more than just Lorren’s best friend. The entire Madaris family thought of her as part of the family and she really appreciated that. Now that Mama Nora spent a lot of her time traveling with a group of other widows from church, Syneda enjoyed the rather close relationship she had developed with the Madaris family.

After dinner together she and Clayton cleared the dishes off the table and cleaned up the kitchen. Syneda couldn’t help noticing Clayton had taken all the dishes out of the dishwasher and had stacked them neatly in the cabinets.

“Now we’ll talk.” Taking her hand, Clayton led her into the living room where he motioned for her to sit down on the sofa. He sat next to her.

“All right, Clayton, what is it?”

He took her hand in his, and gave her an engaging smile. “I propose that we become lovers,” he came right out and said in a very controlled voice.

Syneda looked at him. He was serious! “That’s out of the question.”

“Why? Have you changed your mind about love and commitment?”

His question startled Syneda. “Of course not!”

“You still don’t want anything to do with either?”

“That’s right,” she answered quickly, wondering where Clayton’s line of questioning was leading to.

“Then we’re perfectly suited for each other, and becoming involved will have a lot of advantages for the both of us,” he said.

“Advantages like what?”

“Neither of us wants to get involved in any sort of permanent relationship. I live in Houston, you live here, so there won’t be any crowding. We’ll both get the space we need. Then there’s the stability of a steady relationship, which means there won’t be any risks since we won’t be dating other people.”

Clayton quickly searched her face to see if any of what he was saying was sinking in. When all he saw was an unreadable expression, he continued. “We’re both private people but a relationship won’t threaten our privacy because we trust each other. We enjoy each other’s company, we’re friends, we respect each other’s profession, and we enjoy being together in every way a man and woman can be together. But most importantly,” he murmured softly, “becoming lovers is the perfect solution to our problem.”

“What problem?” Syneda looked into Clayton’s dark eyes and felt the heat displayed in them with every nerve in her body.

“The fact that you want me as much as I want you. And no matter how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise, last weekend was not enough for either of us. What we shared was very special, but it only made me want you that much more. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted a woman in my life.”

Syneda frowned. “That’s impossible. You’ve had lots of women. Most of them a whole lot more experienced than I am. Why me, Clayton? And why are you even considering limiting yourself to dating just me? You’ve always enjoyed having lots of women.”

Clayton didn’t think she was quite ready to hear how much he loved her. So instead he answered, “I’m getting older, wiser and more cautious. There’s no longer such things as ‘safety in numbers’ and ‘no risk, no pleasure.’ Now the present climate is more like ‘unsafety in numbers,’ and ‘no risk, live longer.’ And although I’m a careful man, I don’t like the chances I take sleeping around. It’s time for me to make some lifestyle changes. Therefore, you and I getting together is the perfect solution. Like I said, we’re perfectly suited for each other. Besides, you’re all the woman I need.”

He lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. He deepened the kiss when he felt her immediate response. He heard himself release a groan of pleasure when her mouth began opening beneath his.

Syneda’s hands slowly slid up his chest, wrapping themselves around his neck. He reveled in her fire, her heat, her scent and her trembling warmth in his arms.

Clayton slowly broke off the kiss and looked deeply into her eyes. The passion he saw glittering in them was a mirror of his own. He then rested his forehead against hers, his breathing unsteady.

“You don’t have to give me your answer tonight, or even this weekend if you need time to think about it,” he said huskily, stroking her shoulder. He lifted his head to again look in her eyes. “I don’t want to rush you into anything. Just promise me that you’ll at least consider the idea.”

Syneda nodded, unable to say anything. It wasn’t too often she was at a loss for words. If anything, she usually had too many of them. But as usual, Clayton’s kiss had zapped her of all logical thought.

Clayton heaved a deep sigh as he stood. “I think I’ll go out for a while.”

“Go out? Where?”

“No place in particular. I’ll just take a walk.”

“Take a walk? In New York? This late?”

Clayton grinned. “Yeah, I’ll be all right. I might stop by that video store and pick up a movie or something.” He reached up a hand and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just need to get out of here or I won’t be responsible for my actions. I told you I would visit as a friend this weekend, and until you say otherwise that’s all I’ll be.”

Syneda drew in a shuddering breath. He had left the decision in her hands. What did or did not happen between them this weekend and any weekend that followed would be her choice.

“I’ll be back later.”

She watched as he turned and walked out the door.

Alone, Syneda walked across the room, her arms cradling her middle. It was an instinctive protective action, and she needed all the protection she could get from Clayton Jerome Madaris.

How dare he suggest they become lovers! She didn’t want to be
that
involved with any man. Men had a tendency to get too possessive, too domineering, too crazy. Her life was just fine without a man in it. She liked being in control of her life and not having to answer to anyone. And most of all she hated feeling vulnerable.

And with Clayton she felt vulnerable.

Even with the confrontational tension that usually surrounded them, lately there had been an increase in physical tension between them.

Syneda sighed, acknowledging the effect Clayton had on her. She was intelligent enough to know it wasn’t based on love but on something for which she really didn’t have a clue. Neither Thomas, Marcus, nor any of the other men she’d dated had made her feel the way Clayton did. None of them had even come close.

Her palms felt strangely damp. The neat, tidy case Clayton had presented to her was in no way a weak one. Like the brilliant attorney that he was, he had presented all the advantages of their becoming lovers. He had stated them so eloquently that there was no way she could even poke holes in his opening argument.

A cross-examination of the facts he’d presented would have been useless. He had, beyond a reasonable doubt, cited all the reasons she had avoided an intimate involvement. He had then used those very reasons not in favor of the defense, but to further the prosecution.

There was no way she could deny there would be some real benefits in becoming his lover. She would have the space she liked, the stability she wanted and the privacy she craved. But most importantly, she would have relief from the intense combination of passion and desire Clayton had stirred up within her. She had become trapped in the depths of her own sensuality. It was a state that only Clayton could rectify. At least with him, she didn’t have to worry about being fed a line. There would be no “I love you” and no promises of “forever after.” With him she could enjoy the present without the pain of the past or the worry of a loveless future.

“It’s all about mutual satisfication,” she said softly to herself. “Mutual satisfication and nothing more.”

Syneda nodded, her decision made. She would agree to become Clayton’s lover only if he was willing to accept her conditions.

Nearly an hour had passed before Syneda heard the key rattle in the lock. Tossing aside her legal pad, she stood. She didn’t care that the expression on her face clearly showed she’d been worried. When Clayton hadn’t returned in what she had considered a reasonable amount of time, she had begun pacing the floor, peeking through drapes and gnawing nervously at her bottom lip.

The nerve of him to make her worry!

“Where have you been?” she demanded the moment he walked in.

Clayton gave her an inquiring glance before calmly saying, “Out.”

Syneda felt a surge of renewed anger. Here she had been driving herself crazy wondering if he had gotten mugged or run over by a speeding cab. And all he had to say regarding his whereabouts was “out.”

“I know you’ve been out, Clayton. But you’ve been gone for over an hour. Did it ever occur to you that I was worried?”

Clayton shook his head. “No. That thought never occurred to me.”

Infuriated, Syneda walked up to him. Heaven help her, but she wanted to grab him and shake him one time. “Well, I was.”

A hint of a smile played around Clayton’s mouth. His hand slipped to her waist and pulled her closer. “I’m sorry that I made you worry about me. I stopped by that arcade shop around the corner and played a couple of games.”

Syneda frowned at him. “Look, Madaris. If we’re going to be lovers, we need to have an understanding about a few things. I don’t believe in disappearing acts.”

Clayton’s heart almost stopped beating with Syneda’s words. He cupped her face in his hands, smiling brightly. “Are we going to be lovers?”

With a gentle smile she said, “Yes.”

Clayton pulled her closer to him. “Does this mean you’ve decided to accept my proposal?”

“Yes, Counselor. You presented a pretty good argument, but I do have two conditions.”

Clayton studied her eyes, noting the determined set in them. He knew that whatever her conditions were, there would be no negotiations. “What are they?”

“First, I want you to agree that at any time if either of us wants to end this relationship we can do so without any questions asked. Other than dating each other exclusively, we are not bound to each other.”

Clayton didn’t like that condition at all. More than ever he was determined to make sure she never wanted to end the relationship. “All right,” he finally said.

“The next one involves your family.”

Clayton raised a brow. “My family? What about my family?”

Syneda stepped out of the circle of his arms. “I don’t want them knowing about us, Clayton. I don’t want them to know we’re involved.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t want to become one of those women they constantly tease you about—the kind they think you only date. I don’t want to lose their love and respect.”

“Syneda, that would never happen.”

“I can’t take that chance. I won’t take it.”

Clayton pulled her back into his arms. Although he didn’t like what she was asking of him, he understood why she was doing it. Because of her deep-rooted doubts and fears, she needed an attachment to people she could count on and trust. His family had become that to her. They were her surrogate family, and she would never take the chance to be rejected and abandoned again. But what she failed to realize was that his family would always be there for her, no matter what. They would always love her. Nothing could or would ever change that. If anything, they would love her even more for finally opening his heart to love. But he knew nothing he said would convince her of that. Only time would prove it.