Esther (25 page)

His fingers tracing my scar felt even better than his fingers tracing the curve of my cheekbone had. A strange feeling spread through my stomach and chest and gathered around my heart. I felt that perhaps I could love him.

“I will have my physicians called in tomorrow. I will make certain they are using the finest salves and giving you all the poppy tea you need.”

“Thank you, my king. I do not know what I have done to deserve your kindness but I will return it many times over if given the chance.”

“There are many things I will have you do for me.” He let go of my palm. “I will think of them until we meet again.”

He saw my body respond to his words and reached out to touch me through the thin material of my robe. My heart seemed to beat not only beneath his hand upon my chest but lower still.

“First I am going to have the finest jewels in the empire gathered together. I want to see you in them and nothing else.”

Could he feel the flesh beneath his hand trembling?

He continued, “Then I will take you. You will be goddess of my eyes, my hands, and my heart.”

He withdrew his hand and I knelt so low that my head almost touched his feet. “Thank you, my king.”

“I prefer to be thanked by deeds instead of words. Words are fleeting. Rise.” As I returned to my feet he said, “There will be a banquet for you unlike any you have ever seen.” I had not seen even one, but it did not seem a good time to mention this. “I will show the empire the one creature in all the world who is as beautiful as the queen they convinced me to send away.

“You will come back tonight, as queen from India to Nubia, queen over a hundred and twenty-seven provinces. Queen of Persia.”

I felt as though I no longer inhabited my body. Was I dreaming? Was I ill? Without meaning to, I touched my robe where it rested over the Faravahar that lay against my chest.
Erez.
I quickly dropped my hand to my side. It was not a good time to think of Erez. In fact, it would never again be a good time to think of Erez. I found my voice and concentrated on Xerxes' rich brown eyes. “Queen of the great king Xerxes.”

We shared a goblet of wine in celebration. He insisted I have the last few drops, and then he instructed me to go knock three times on the door to summon the Immortals and numerous chamber attendants who waited on him each morning.

I held my breath. I wanted very badly to see Erez, and I wanted very badly to never see him again. I felt guilty at how my flesh had hummed when Xerxes touched me. I was relieved and disappointed when the door opened and Erez did not appear. Two Immortals I had never seen entered, followed by four eunuchs with silk towels over their shoulders who wheeled in a basin made of gold. Three more servants followed with platters of bread, fruit, and honey, another with a pitcher of wine so sweet I could smell it. After this came about twenty musicians, three girls with bells on their wrists and ankles, and another girl with a large fan of date palm leaves. Xerxes waited to speak until they had arranged the tub in front of him and gathered to wait for his command. “I do not need any of this. I will not wash the perfume of my new queen from my skin.”

The two Immortals, seven servants, four girls, and many musicians stared at me.

“I am going to take my rest now,” Xerxes said. “You are all dismissed.”

To me he said, “Go and prepare for tonight. Prepare for your first night as queen.”

I held my breath once more as I left Xerxes' chamber.

“I am queen,” I told myself.
I am queen.

Parsha stood just outside the king's chamber. He moved his gaze over my hair, which was still piled atop my head, and then to the cosmetics undisturbed upon my eyes and cheeks. He sniffed at me like a dog, and a smirk spread across his face.

“I see the king does not want another foolish girl,” he said quietly. “Not even for a night.”

“You would do well to keep your words sweet, Parsha, or you will soon be eating them.”

“My father sent Halannah to sate the king's hunger yesterday,” he said quietly. “
She
has never left these chambers without some sign of the king's touch.”

I did not like the thought of the king lying with Halannah, but if she had satisfied him enough that he was able to go all night without touching me as deeply as he wanted to, then she had helped make me queen.

I heard someone rushing up behind me. “I am to take you to the queen's chambers, Your Majesty, and to serve as one of your personal escort.”

Parsha's beautiful eyes were not so beautiful as they bulged from their sockets. His mouth twitched but no words came out. He made a sound like that of an animal surprised by an arrow in its flank.

I smiled and turned to the Immortal who had spoken. One of his eyes was brown, the other green. I could read no emotion upon his face. Behind him were five more Immortals I had never seen. “I must go first to my former chambers to gather my things,” I told him.

“The king has seen to it, Your Majesty.”

“And my servant?”

“I do not know.”

I was not certain whether I should send him back to the king to find out, and I did not want to seem uncertain in front of Parsha. “I am eager to see my chambers,” I said, turning away from the king's door.

It was strange to move through the palace surrounded by Immortals—two in front of me, one on either side, and two following close behind. Xerxes was tall enough that he could easily see over his escorts' heads, but my own escort took up much of my view.

As we neared my new chambers my regret at not asking the king if Ruti could continue her service to me grew. But when I entered the receiving room with two of my escort, Ruti was waiting. She fell to her knees upon the beautiful crimson, green, blue, and gold rug beneath her and laughed more happily than I had heard anyone laugh since I had arrived at the palace. “It is much more comfortable to kneel in this chamber than anywhere else I have been, my queen. This is the greatest moment of my life. I have already pledged myself to you, but I will do so again now. You will be the greatest queen Persia has ever known, and I will be beside you until my dying day.”

“Leave us,” I told my escort. When they were gone I dropped to my knees in front of Ruti and we wrapped our arms around each other.

“Our matriarch Sarah lived for one hundred and twenty-seven years,” Ruti whispered, “and you rule over one hundred twenty-seven provinces. Surely this is no coincidence.”

I pulled back to look at her.

“You have risen higher than any other woman in the world, and this can only be for one great purpose,” she said, grabbing my hands. “To save our people. Our God has not deserted us.”

“Perhaps He has not.” I slid one of my hands out from hers and looked around the room. “Though I cannot quite believe that I am queen, when I behold the table long enough to seat at least thirty guests and the golden reliefs of lions and ibex, I know that by some miracle I am.”

“Your wealth will sway many people to our cause, if you use it wisely. But”—she squeezed my hand—“we can think about that later. Let us take another moment to breathe in the joy of this occasion.”

It was not long before we heard arguing coming from outside the receiving room. “You cannot go in.” It was the voice of the Immortal with one brown eye and one green eye.

“I am the keeper of the women. And of a few guards as well. I have more men in my employ than you have saved or even killed. Move from my path.”

“You are no longer the keeper of
this
woman, little man.”

I rushed to open the door. “My lord!” To assuage his pride, I said, “I have been waiting for you.”

As he fell to his knees and bowed his head I realized I was no longer expected to call him “my lord.” His voice, however, was not so humble as his posture. “Your Highness, I have had to wait to see you as well.”

I turned to the Immortal with different-colored eyes. “Thank you for your vigilance, but Hegai may be granted full access to my chambers.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” The Immortal bowed his head only slightly.
Not as much as he should,
I thought.

It was odd to walk before Hegai, but after the Immortal's halfhearted show of respect I was careful not to give him reason to think I was anything less than queen. Hegai followed me into the receiving room. I marveled at it once again. It was nearly as luxurious as the king's. I took off my sandals and pressed my feet into the rug. I saw that just as in the rest of the palace there were gazelles, griffins, and archers. The perimeter of the huge room was lined with fat satin cushions. Silk curtains, which hung from thick golden rods, were tied back to reveal a set of heavy doors. Ruti hurried to open them, and light flooded the room. I walked toward it, and stepped out onto the balcony. I looked down upon trees whose fruits I could almost taste: sour cherry, pomegranate, apple, fig.

Next I explored the wardrobe connected to my chambers. “An attendant will be brought to care for your robes,” Hegai said.

I felt guilty gazing at the exiled queen's things.
Will I ever be able to think of all this as mine?
Chests of scarves and jewels extended from one end of the wardrobe to the other. Shelves of gem-encrusted leather sandals took up all of one wall. More than a hundred fine robes of different materials—linen, silk, and velvet—hung from hooks all around me. In a chest at the back I found veils of every color, almost none without gems or gold of some kind. I was certain I was looking at the vastest wardrobe in all the world. Which of these veils would Vashti have worn? I picked up one that was purple and had a band of gold coins. I brought it to my nose, searching for a sign of the exiled queen. Any physical trace of her had been erased. Only the king's desire for her kept her spirit inside the palace walls.

When I was done marveling at my new quarters I turned to Hegai. “Thank you for all of this. I will share these riches with you and Ruti.”

“Do I look like I am wanting for riches?” Perhaps he was unhappy that I had not addressed him with “my lord.”

“I know you are wealthy beyond measure, I only wanted to express my thanks. We have done what we set out to do.”

“What we set out to do was reform the harem. Our struggle has only just begun.”

I turned away from him. I wanted a moment in which the only thing everyone wanted to do was celebrate our victory.

“May we sit, Your Highness.” His voice did not get higher at the end of his words—he was not asking.
And why shouldn't he give me an order? He has brought us here, after all,
I told myself. But this did not rid me of my irritation.

“Ruti, some refreshment please.” To honor Hegai, I said, “The finest.”

“Nothing less ever again, Your Majesty.” Ruti bowed low and went to the kitchens.

Hegai did not make small talk and he did not wait for the wine. “New queen, do not let this splendor make you forget all I have told you: if you are not sharper than your enemies you will be assassinated.”

I sighed. There was no way to avoid a conversation with Hegai.

“The greater portion of being sharp is figuring out who they are,” he said, “but you will never be fully certain.”

“I am most certain of the one I have not met yet.”

“Yes. What you are not certain of is who takes Haman's coins and whispers secrets in his ear. But I have faith you will soon know. Tonight you will meet the two men who rule the empire.”

“Does not
the king
rule?”

“Yes, he and Haman. You will meet the
true
king for the first time, the king as he is when he stands at the head of his empire. He will not seem to you to be the same king you met last night. It is no longer you that he will be concerned with. He will introduce you to Haman in the hopes that Haman will be impressed by his choice of queen. Pretend you know nothing of his cruelty and appear delighted to meet him.”

“I do not know that I can do this very convincingly.”

“You must try. You can see more when watching a man who does not know he is watched.”

A man.
My enemies would no longer be only women. Even before Xerxes' edict about husbands' superiority over their wives, men had always been more powerful than women, even men who were not powerful over other men. Shepherds, metal smiths and armorers—makers of all things copper and bronze—moneylenders, men who sold wares at the market—a year ago I was less powerful than any one of these. Now I would have to maneuver my way around the most powerful men in the world.

“Everyone in the palace has ambitions. Every adviser wants to be a top official; every top official wants to be king. Xerxes is always in danger, and hence, little queen, you are as well. If he is assassinated you will be taken by the one who ascends the throne. Or killed. Even if you manage to survive and find favor with the new king, your children will be murdered.”

“How can I keep watch over Xerxes?”

“That will be difficult. You need eyes and ears that can only be gotten through promises and gold. Yet Xerxes should not find you greedy or know you desire anything but him. You must be the sort of queen a king wishes to rain gifts upon.”

“And if one of the men I have bribed—”

“Brought into your service.”

“If one of the men I have brought into my service should tell me of a plot against Xerxes, am I to tell him, and if so, how?”

“Anyone who goes in to see him uninvited is subject to death.”

“I must wait until he calls for me?”

“In that situation it will be your life or his that is in danger. You will get to decide.”

“But if he is assassinated I may be too, so both our lives are in jeopardy.”

“Then you have your answer.”

When Ruti came with the wine I almost cried with relief that I would no longer be alone with Hegai. Perhaps I should not have told the Immortal at the door that Hegai was to be granted full access to my chambers.