Emily's Passion (4 page)

“We’ll have to take a ride and look at the country side. Maybe even take a picnic lunch?  How long are you here for?” Alan asked.

“I will be here a week, then I fly out on Monday for home,” I replied.

“Good. That will give us enough time to do it!” he stated. “Will you have dinner with me tonight?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Alan. All of this is kind of fast for me. I was really just planning on spending the time alone to think, read, and relax,” I told him.

“Just as friends, Emily, nothing more. You will heal faster mentally and emotionally if you are surrounded by experienced friends rather than being all alone. I would like to become friends if you will let me,” he suggested.

Alan sat stoically staring at me as I studied him. He had a commanding presence about him. I wasn’t sure what it was about him but then again, did it really matter?

“Okay, Alan, I don’t see what harm it can do. I would love to have dinner with you tonight,” answering his request.

Alan rose to go back to his cabin placing his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll come by your cabin at seven this evening and we can walk to the restaurant together. How’s that sound?”

“That will be great! I’ll see you then,” I replied.

When he moved his hand off my shoulder I noticed an empty feeling as if all the warmth had been sucked out of me. I shrugged it off watching him walk to the end cabin. Picking up my e-reader, I began reading again until it was time to shower for dinner. I stepped inside my cabin, showered, and blew my hair dry. I settled on wearing my fancy jeans with my silver sequined top, a black cardigan sweater tied at my hips and my black leather high heeled boots. Not too fancy but not shabby either.

By the time Doug had passed away, my hair was almost down to my waist again. He loved my hair long and I was so grateful I had grown it out for him. On occasions like this I would dry it straight and wear it down. I always received a lot of looks; I just wasn’t sure whether they were good or bad. Most people had their own ideas how a matronly woman should look these days.

A knock on the door roused me from my thoughts. I opened the door to Alan standing there in comfortably worn jeans, white dress shirt, black leather jacket, and black biker boots! He looked really good, too good! The black jacket set off his silver hair and moustache as well as the gold metal framed eyeglasses.
Those steel blue-gray eyes sparkled as he smiled at me.

Chapter Six

“You, sexy Lady, are looking good tonight,” he complimented.

I began to blush a bright red color and smiled mumbling a “thank you.” I closed the door behind me and we strolled together towards the restaurant.

We were seated in the back of the restaurant next to a window looking out to the creek and hills. Alan ordered a sweet wine for us after asking what type I liked.

The waiter brought over the wine Alan had ordered and poured a small amount into his glass waiting for him to pass judgment. He gave the waiter his nod of approval while reaching for my glass to fill. I swirled the wine around the edge of my glass watching the color then breathed in the aroma before I sipped the wine. The rich flavor burst in my mouth as I let the wine sit on my tongue before I swallowed. The sweet liquid flowed smoothly down my throat setting off warmth throughout my upper body. Alan watched me with enthusiasm as I sat my wine glass on the table.

“You approve?” he asked.

“It’s very good,” I replied.

I felt the warmth of the alcohol spreading down my arms heading towards the lower part of my body. A little nervous, I swallowed another drink
, helping me to relax. Alan smiled as if he was enjoying a joke. The wine helped me gain a little bit of confidence as I began to fire questions at him.

“So Alan, where is home for you?”

“The Midwest,” he replied. “Arkansas to be exact. How about you?”

“Oklahoma, born and raised,” I told him. “What do you do?”

“Retired business owner. Now I just relax, travel, and enjoy my life,” he offered.

“Do you always travel on your Harley,” I asked him.

“As much as I can, weather permitting. I love the open road. And do you work?” he asked.

“Yes. Now I am mostly retired but I fill in every now and then fo
r vacations or illnesses. I’m a Registered Nurse at a local hospital. My favorite is to work in the pediatric ward. I love the newborns,” I told him.

Alan leaned back in his chair listening to me openly tell about my life and career. As I told my story, he played with his moustache smiling to himself. I looked at him and asked what his smile was for. “You are
sexy and sweet. I love how your eyes sparkle whenever you talk about the babies,” he replied.

I looked up at him in horror and apologized. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I have been going on and on about myself and not letting you get a word in at all.”

“No, it’s fine. I am enjoying listening to you and watching your face,” he assured.

My face felt hot and I knew I was blushing.

“See, just like that. You are so beautiful when you blush like that,” he pointed out.

I blushed even more and then declared, “Okay, I am going to stop talking now and let you tell me about you!”

“Not much to tell, I’m just an old jarhead living out my life the way I want to.”

“Jarhead?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s a slang term for a Marine.”

“You’re a Marine?” I asked and Alan nodded yes. “My dad was a Marine. Did you serve in a war?”

“Viet Nam,” he answered.

“Ahh,” I wondered aloud. “I had a lot of friends go to Vie
t Nam. What it did to them was not pretty. When I visited DC, I stood at the Viet Nam Memorial and cried. I cried for everyone whose name was on that wall and for the ones who came home and were never the same again.”

“Emily, war is tragic no matter which one it is. They all change the lives of those who serve in them,” he replied.

“It just makes me sad,” I told him as the waiter delivered our steak and baked potato. “Not only were my friends coming home mentally and physically changed but it divided the entire country down the middle.”

“You feel things deeply, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, too much sometimes. Doug always accused I wore my heart on my sleeve,” I answered.

“Were you happy with him?” he asked.

I shifted in my seat and stared at Alan for a few seconds trying to decide what he was after. Then I lowered my eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and with a tear in my eye replied, “Doug was the love of my life! Yes, we were both very happy emotionally and physically.”

Alan responded quickly, “I don’t mean to sound callous, Emily. I just need to know what kind of ghost I am fighting here.”

“I don’t think you’re fighting any ghost here,” I questioned cocking one eyebrow and leaving it at that. We became quiet and began to eat.     

After we finished our dinner, Alan suggested we take a walk down the planked sidewalk overlooking the water. The walk ended in a wooden platform with benches on three sides. No one else was there, so we decided to sit, talk, and enjoy the night sky and air. It was amazing how clear the skies were up in the mountains. “It’s breathtaking here,” I said half-aloud.

Alan was staring straight at me and not looking towards the sky when he spoke. “Yes, it certainly takes my breath away.”

I looked up into his eyes and felt as if he was pulling me into him. I couldn’t put my finger on it but he was definitely having an effect on my body. My stomach was in knots and I could feel heat rushing over my face, neck, and chest. Immediately I leapt up and pretended to be interested in the rushing creek not aware of what I was chatting about. I was doing anything to just put some space between us.

I suddenly felt his warmth behind me. He didn’t touch me with his hands or arms but he definitely made his presence felt with his entire body. “Emily, turn around and look at me, please,” he quietly commanded.

I replied shakily, “I. . . I can’t.”

He spoke to me in a soft, firm voice, “Emily, now!”

Turning around, I was almost looking into his chest. His gaze made my knees weak and I felt as if I was going to melt. I couldn’t look away from those damn eyes. They were deep and soulful
, looking at me as if I were his next meal. He reached over and lightly drew the outline of my jaw up to my cheek. My entire body was firing bolts of electricity or at least it sure felt that way to me.

“What are you afraid of, little girl?” Alan asked.

“I’m afraid of what you’re doing to my body and to my resolve,” I answered.

“It’s the same thing you’re doing to mine,” and to prove his point he pressed his body against me leaving no doubt in my mind he was aroused. He held one side of my face tenderly in his hand moving his lips closer to mine whispering, “There’s absolutely no reason to be afraid of me.”

He softly pressed his lips against mine as I felt the warmth of his breath. He moaned as he scooped me into his arms. I was so lost in his embrace, willingly opening my lips as he stroked his tongue against them. I reveled in the dance our tongues participated in until my mind snapped back to reality and I roused against his chest breaking the kiss.

“It’s too much too soon, Alan. I’m sorry. I know nothing about you and I am just not like this. This just isn’t what I do,” I argued more with myself than with him.

Alan smiled down at me stroking my lips with his finger and saying “Okay, I can wait. I am a very patient man. But just know I have no intention of giving up. You are incredibly sexy and beautiful and I want to spend time getting to know everything I can about you.”

Before letting go of me and walking back towards our cabins, he ran his fingers through my hair marveling at the softness and length. “So fucking beautiful!” he complimented. He held my hand as he ushered me to my door.

“I know I have made you uncomfortable,” he advised. “I just want you to know how much I want to get to know you. I’ll take things slower and let you get to know me better,” he promised. When we approached the door, I fumbled with the key because my hands were shaking. Alan grasped my hands in his and politely asked, “May I give you a chaste good night kiss?”

I could feel my pulse pounding in my throat as I lifted my eyes from his chest into his blue-gray gaze. Not able to use my voice without squeaking, I nodded my head yes.

Very slowly and gently, he grazed his lips on mine in a polite kiss. I ached to have him press harder and rougher with his lips; however, I drew away whispering good night and quickly entered the cabin closing the door in his face. I heard his footsteps on the gravel road fade as he plodded to his cabin.

I proceeded into my cabin and flopped on the bed opening my laptop. I was confused about Alan, needing to talk with my friends about what had happened. My emotions were on
overload and I needed help sorting through them. I logged onto my social media page looking for anyone that I knew well. This late at night I wasn’t sure if any of my friends would be on. I browsed through my newsfeed reading the many posts of others when a new post from Ryan popped up. It was a picture of the Mount Rushmore monument and the caption ‘Hope U R having ‘pleasure’ on your adventure’. I laughed at first and then thought, ‘I don’t remember telling anyone except family where I was going!’ I immediately commented under his post, ‘How did you know where I was?’ My private message box lit up and Ryan was apologizing to me profusely. I began to feel guilty but him knowing where I was made me very nervous. I drew in a deep breath and asked him again how he knew. He texted back, ‘Your GPS locator is on and the town it put you near is close to Mount Rushmore. So I just assumed you were visiting there. I am so sorry, Emily. I just didn’t think!’

‘It’s okay,’
I answered feeling a bit better and calming down. We began chatting back and forth about unimportant things. The conversation eventually turned to my trip, talking about the monument and surrounding areas. He told me about places I needed to see if I had a way to get out and be close to nature.

Then I didn’t know why, but I opened up about Alan. I told Ryan my emotions were out of control but my attraction to Alan was off the charts. My guilt over Doug was eating away at me as well. I asked him if he thought I should continue to get to know Alan or just politely tell him I needed to be alone and not see him anymore.

It felt like thirty minutes had gone by when actually it was more like five but Ryan finally responded. ‘No, Emily, don’t blow this guy off. He’s not asking for anything but friendship right now and you need to let that develop. Let go and step outside of yourself. Enjoy the time you spend there. I understand your guilt but honestly Emily, you need to start letting go of that. It’s time. Doug wouldn’t want you sitting alone night after night feeling sorry for yourself and not living. You always refer to yourself as old, over the hill, past your prime, an old broad. . . all words that I have seen you use to describe yourself. Those are all lies, Emily. You are still sexy and vibrant. Your eyes could give a man an orgasm alone. My God, your humor is mind blowing. It is time for you to realize that you are still very much alive, very desirable, and not dead. It is time to let go of your fear and live again!’

His words surprised me. I never knew he had it in him because he was always such a big tease. I laughed and then typed,
‘Wow, you do have a serious bone in your body!’

He immediately quipped back,
‘Along with another ‘bone’ that ‘pops up’ from time to time!’

Yes, I had asked for that one!

We chatted a few more minutes then said good night. As I snuggled under the covers I mulled over what Ryan had told me. I knew he was right but I also knew I was scared to death to let anyone else inside my walls. I drifted off to sleep thinking of steel blue-gray eyes watching me.