Eden's Root (31 page)

“So Doc,” she began as casually as she could, “realistically, what happens to Rachel if we don’t find Eden by fall? If we have to overwinter again, I mean.” He raised an eyebrow behind his wire glasses.

“I know, I know,” Fi apologized. “I understand that I was a little,” she paused, searching for the best word, “…clear that I didn’t want to discuss Sickness.” Her mouth twisted in chagrin at the memory of how she had behaved when Doc Ron had brought it up with her. They had talked in the cellar that day as well, though he had led her that time.

“Fi,” Doc Ron had said gravely, “I feel fairly certain, though it’s difficult to be sure without equipment, that Maggie has an advanced form of stomach cancer.” Frustrated, Fi had waved her hands at him, her lips pressed her together so hard that they turned white. She recalled how Doc’s eyebrows had knitted in concern, “Fi, I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” Unable to form words, she had kept shaking her head, her eyes welling up with tears.

“No, no, you didn’t…do anything wrong…Doc.” The words came out between short breaths. It had taken everything to get back under control, she recalled. “I just didn’t need to know because it doesn’t matter. Maggie has the Sickness. She is going to die. Stomach Cancer, Lung Cancer, Lupus,” she’d suddenly begun listing diseases angrily, “Diabetes, MS, I mean does it really matter? Does it matter what we call the disease that is killing us if we can’t stop putting the thing that gave us the disease into our bodies? If we have no choice?”

That day she had gotten up to walk back up the cellar stairs to the first floor. At the bottom of the stairs she’d stopped. “Doc you have one job here now and that job is to keep the healthy alive and safe. It’s not your job to try to stop the Sickness.” Heading up the stairs she’d added, “That’s my job.”

Now he seemed understandably hesitant to give advice.

“I’m sorry Doc, it’s just that with Maggie…” her voice trailed off.

“There wasn’t any hope.” Doc finished her thought. Fi sniffed and nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Well,” he began. “I will give you the best information that I can.” Fi wiped her eyes and nodded again. “It seems very likely that Rachel has a type of Leukemia, though without being able to do some real testing I can’t be sure which kind, and I can’t even be one hundred percent sure that it is Leukemia.” He looked at Fi to make sure she understood. She nodded again so that he would continue.

“Childhood cancers are particularly frightening because they grow so quickly. All the cells in a child’s body grow more quickly than they do in adults,” he explained.

“So we are worried about the timeline then,” Fi summarized. Her tone was flat.

“Yes, based on her current state, and the fact that we are going to be hiking again, putting in physical effort. Yes, I’m worried,” he admitted, “If I’m honest, I think that Rachel does not make it through another winter.” Fi sucked in her breath. The truth really does hurt, she thought, saddened by the sharp pain in her chest. She drew in her gaunt cheeks and put her head in her hands.

“On the positive side,” Doc added and Fi’s head snapped up. “Childhood Leukemias are also very treatable, even curable.”

“Treatment as in chemo?”

“Ultimately, the patient is going to need a bone marrow transplant in order to cure the disease,” Doc clarified, “and typically treatment would be chemotherapy by infusion, which we can’t do. Many of the drugs needed to be refrigerated, and they will obviously be spoiled.” He spoke and his voice trailed off again.

Fi could feel that there was something else. “But?”

“It’s a stupid chance really,” he shook his head. Fi waved at him, urging him to get to it. “There are some oral chemotherapy drugs that can hold off the symptoms of certain Leukemias. The patient still needs the transplant eventually, but the drugs could help buy her some time.” Fi nodded, feeling encouraged, until Doc added the last part. “But, the drugs could also give her some side effects that could be worse than her current symptoms. She could lose hair, feel nauseous, develop rashes, and have a harder time fighting off infections.”

“So basically, exactly how she feels right now, but worse and also bald?” Fi said with frustration.

Doc sighed and smiled a little. “Exactly.”

“Yeah, we really have made progress against this disease.” Fi couldn’t contain her irritation.

“Unfortunately you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t,” Doc agreed.

“Yeah,” Fi smiled back, “but that doesn’t make the decisions easy.” She shook her fists at the ceiling dramatically. “I would give anything for an easy decision!” Doc laughed at her antics while Fi grew silent for a moment. It really would make her feel better just to have the drugs available. She wasn’t sure how she could live with herself if she didn’t do everything she could to help Rachel survive.

“It seems like the best thing,” she said, “would be to have those drugs available so that if she worsened a lot this summer, then we could give her the drugs and start buying her time. Maybe in Eden she could get the transplant,” she added hopefully, though she doubted it in her heart. Fi wasn’t really sure what miracle she was expecting for Rachel, but she just couldn’t sit by and watch her fade like Maggie.

“Yes, having some kind of option would be best, if it were possible,” Doc responded. He took off his glasses to clean them. “I’m assuming that you brought this up in light of your upcoming raid with Sean?”

Fi nodded. “I thought that the hospitals there might have what we’d need for her. Since we are going for food anyway, I thought maybe you could give us a list of drugs to look for. I need a list of the basics again as well.”

“Ok, I can do that,” Doc said. “I wish that I remembered all the best hospitals for you to hit in the City, but I do remember a few. I will write down the ones I can recall and the general location. You’re familiar with the City right?”

Fi nodded again and sighed. “Yes, I used to drag my parents there as often as I could. I loved it.” Her voice softened as she remembered her beloved City. She hadn’t given it much thought in a long time, mostly because she thought she’d never see it again. The thought of seeing the City post-Famine made her stomach turn. “I always wanted to grow up and move down there, to the big City,” she smiled. “Now I’m actually afraid to see it.” Doc touched her hand to comfort her and the kindness roused her from her momentary sadness. Fi shook her head to shake off the feeling and grinned.

“Nope!” she said brightly. “I love that City and it’s always loved me. I’m looking forward to it.” Her eyes flew to memories of magnificent fingers of steel and glass, beneath which people clad in suits and hustle ran like a river. She’d loved wandering those streets with her parents, adrift in a Kasbah of smells and sounds and tastes. Summer visits always warranted a double-chocolate cookie followed by an equally delicious snap in the Sheep’s Meadow. But most of all, amid everything else, Fi loved what Maggie had revealed. Throughout the City were sprinkled hundreds of peaceful, hidden gardens set like gems in the midst of glittering chaos. When Maggie first brought her to one of these gardens to draw, Fi had been too amazed to put charcoal to paper. Outside, just two steps away was a honking, bustling, zig-zagging pulse of life, but in that simple little brick garden there had been nothing but the buzz of bees and sunlight.

Fi took a deep breath and exhaled. She turned to Doc with a small smile.

“Maybe in the City I can actually see the past one more time.”

----------- Fi -----------

When Fi and Sean finally drew close to the City, she felt her chest tighten. The glittering towers stood still, silent monuments to what had been. From this distance, she thought, you couldn’t even tell that anything was wrong. That was, until night fell.

As the sun sunk lower in the sky, Fi felt the tears well higher in her eyes until they broke their bonds and sailed down her cheeks. The New York City skyline was dark, just a silhouette of black spiking mountains and stepped foothills against the brilliant night sky. She knew that Sean could tell that she was crying, but for the first time in a long time, she didn’t care. It was all over. Her beautiful City was dead.

The tears fell silently as she said goodbye to her memories, one by one. The only thing she could be glad about was that Mike and Maggie hadn’t ever seen the City this way. Though their loss felt more permanent, now that she saw that she’d lost the City as well. Her heart wrenched as she mourned them all…all the people who had ever loved or laughed or lived in that City. It was all gone now.

After a time, her tears dried up and the familiar empty feeling took its place. She sniffed and wiped her face. It was time to get it together, she thought. This was just another raid.

“Let’s go,” she whispered and Sean followed her to the bridge. Thankfully, he didn’t say a word. A large waxing moon ascended as Fi and Sean climbed down from the damaged bridge. When her feet hit the ground Fi felt ‘official’, she was back…back in the City. Though they were expecting to find the City largely abandoned, Fi knew that they couldn’t count on it and there were likely to be some Others. That was why this raid, like all raids, was going to be conducted at night.

“You have your list ready?” she asked Sean. He patted the pocket of his light jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper to show her, and then replaced it. Though they both had memorized all the basics to grab on raids long ago, this raid included lists of the specialized drugs needed for Rachel. The names were so bizarre that she and Sean knew they’d have to keep the lists in order to be sure.

This check was necessary before they split up. They both decided that this was necessary, despite the risk. They needed to cover the entire City as quickly as possible so that they could squeeze everything from it in one trip. They turned and snuck quietly southward, taking in their surroundings. As they walked, Fi kept her head on a swivel. Cool white moonlight drifted along the tops of the buildings while she and Sean maneuvered in deep darkness at ground level. Though Fi appreciated the cover, it slowed their progress. She only caught glimpses of the buildings around them, but her heart picked up when she started to notice some consistent graffiti. She could swear that she saw the same two symbols a few times already. They hit an avenue and a large intersection yawned open, allowing them both a better view.

“Do you see that?” Sean whispered, gesturing toward the graffiti scrawled on a large bank building across the street. It looked like a cross with a capital D around it. Fi turned to Sean and nodded with a frown.

“What do you think?” she whispered to him. “Did you see the others?” He nodded. So they had both noticed the graffiti scrawls decorating the buildings around them. “They’re everywhere,” she hissed in frustration. It was not an option to abort this raid, she thought, feeling the pressure.

“Looks like gangs or tribes,” he said quietly. “Must be territories.” That made sense, Fi thought. “No way to tell how many actual Others there are, but I’ve seen at least three different gang signs so far. At least, I’m pretty sure I have.” Fi sighed. This wasn’t great news, but then again, maybe it was ok.

“If they are marking territories,” she suggested, “then we just need to stay out of the marked areas as much as we can, right?” Sean tilted his head, thinking.

“I guess there is some advantage to them declaring themselves,” he agreed. “But I still think the risks here are pretty great. The City is definitely not a Ghost Town.” Fi knew he was right.

“Ok,” she whispered, “I say we locate some resources nearby while we’re still together and see if that part of the rumor is true.” Sean was quiet. Fi knew he was thinking that it was smarter to leave. “We’ve come all this way,” she pled with him, “and the Family needs us to succeed.” He made a small noise. She knew he was thinking of Rachel. They’d hit a hospital in Englewood yesterday, but hadn’t found any of the specialized stuff they needed for Rachel.

“Ok,” he whispered. “But you follow me because I’m more cautious,” he laid out his conditions. “We will start with food, that is truly the game-changer anyway.” Fi nodded in agreement. Within a minute, they came across a small grocery store. Though the door was bolted shut and the window had bars over it, the bars had been pried away in one corner, and the window was broken.

“Looks like there has been some looting.” Fi whispered and Sean nodded.

Fingering the metal plate bolted across the door, Sean murmured. “Could help us because those bolts are too strong. Can you pull this back a little?” he asked Fi, indicating the frame of the window bars. Fi grabbed and pulled gently at first. When it made no sound, she yanked it with all her weight, giving Sean about eight inches of space to slip through. He slid out of his pack and inside, disappearing into the darkness. Fi saw a small red glow as Sean turned on his flashlight, and then she heard him gasp. Her heart raced with sudden panic.

“Sean?”

“S’ok Fi,” his whisper floated out to her. “Get in here!” Fi pushed his pack through, followed by her own. She squeezed through and hopped down onto the floor of the store. Fi also gasped as Sean’s flashlight illuminated the space. Shelves were overturned, and items had been shoved into the usual disarray. What was shocking was that there was still so much left! Fi had gotten used to finding one or two useful items in a location at best in past months. Here, there were literal piles of cans to be grabbed.

“Fi,” Sean breathed. “I can’t believe it.” Fi knew what he was thinking. There couldn’t be too many Others if they had left all this food here. This relaxed them both somewhat, though they took few chances. They took the best of fruits and vegetables, as well as canned meat. To Fi, canned meat was absolutely disgusting. It was the worst of the Sickfood, in her opinion. Unfortunately, it had much needed fat, so she tucked it into her pack.

“These are going to be heavy on our way home,” Fi whispered to Sean with a smile as she hefted her pack a few times. Her relief that this gamble was going to pay off left her feeling a little giddy. Sean nodded.

“I gotta hand it to you Fi, I had my doubts, but this is fantastic,” his voice was excited. Fi knew he could see the Family’s chances of survival increase with each clink of a can dropped into his pack. They finished with this location quickly and Sean turned to her.