Eden's Root (48 page)

“How about we kill you both and take all of your resources?” she sneered and the man next to her barked out a laugh. Fi sighed wearily. It would be easier if the other woman would just acknowledge her group’s inferiority. She attempted to explain.

“In my scenario,” she began, “you all get resources and you all get to live. And in your scenario, someone gets resources, but someone also dies.” She paused and glared into the other woman’s eyes. “I know for a fact that we will kill at least two of you in the first second that you move. And we’ll probably drop the rest of you two seconds later,” she added, nodding toward the woman’s family members. The woman’s frown deepened. Fi shrugged.

“Look, starvation is already getting us all. Why kill each other?” she pleaded. Fi knew the other woman had pride. And the fact that she was in charge and behaving the way she did told Fi that she was tough, that she was willing to kill and probably had. Like me, Fi thought, her chest squeezing. It was her pride that was making her behave with arrogance, Fi realized. She disliked ‘losing’ to another woman more than she disliked losing to a man. Fi just hoped that the woman would see reason. Still unsure, Fi steadied her aim, readying herself to fire. The woman was silent as she deliberated in the tense night air. Suddenly, she sighed.

“Alright,” she said, “I give.” She sheathed her knife as her show of good faith, and Fi holstered her gun. Asher kept his sword in his hand to cover Fi as she rooted through her pack. Pulling out plastic bags, Fi unrolled them. She reached inside and grabbed several handfuls of dried meat and then stopped. Her family was managing to remain reasonably fed. These people were literally dying, Fi could see. They might have children in their Family. Her decision made, she dropped the meat back into the bag and handed over the whole thing. The woman looked inside and gasped.

“Why?” she said, stammering. “I don’t understand,” she breathed. “We threatened you.” Her voice was heavy with remorse and confusion.

“You need it,” Fi said simply. “And I know how hard it is.” The woman swallowed and nodded. Leadership was tough in this world. You did things you didn’t like sometimes. That was just the way it was. Fi zipped up her pack and pulled it onto her back. “I’m assuming we can go now?” she asked and the woman nodded, smiling a little.

“Good luck to you,” the woman said and her group turned and dissolved back into the darkened city. They headed north, Fi noted, to the area that Luc said to avoid. They lived there, Fi thought to herself incredulously. How could they live amongst the ghosts? She shivered, suddenly thankful for their own peaceful forest campsites. Once they had gone, Fi took a deep breath and let it out.

“Phew!” Asher exhaled and sheathed his sword. “That really got the heart going, huh?”

“No kidding,” Fi whispered. “Let’s get out of here,” she said and they headed to follow Sean and the rest of the Family. “It’s been so long that I wasn’t sure that I would really be able to shoot someone anymore,” she half-joked as they jogged. Asher chuckled.

A clattering sound startled them and they ducked into an alcove. Asher pulled Fi close to him in the tiny space as they both held their breath and listened. Fi felt her heart thumping and wondered if Asher could feel it as they squeezed together. He was so much taller than she that his breathing ruffled her hair. For five minutes, they waited in hiding.

“Must have been a cat or something,” Fi whispered. Asher was silent for a second and then he spoke, his voice quiet.

“Fi, if you didn’t have the stomach anymore, to shoot someone I mean,” he whispered. “Would that be so bad?” He sighed, surprising her. She wasn’t expecting a reflective Asher tonight. “I wish we could go someplace else,” he whispered in her ear. “Somewhere that you could feel safe.” His arms already encircled her in the hiding space, but she felt him squeeze his embrace tighter for just a moment, his lips pressing to the top of her head. Knowing that they must move on, they separated, the cool air rushing to meet Fi’s face and body as they slipped out of the tight hiding space.

It had been a wonderful moment, she thought as they moved on to reconnect with the Family. But there was still work to be done, she thought, and miles to go before we sleep.

----------- Fi -----------

“It should be RIGHT here!” Fi insisted. She stamped her foot in frustration. Asher sighed. Fi blew away a curl in frustration. She knew Asher was annoyed with her. Sometimes she really was a little girl.

“Let’s just keep looking then,” he said gently, “there’s no need to get frantic.” He touched her arm and she jerked it away.

“I’m not frantic!” Fi cried and then realized that she sounded ridiculous as Asher rolled his eyes. “We’re definitely very close,” she added in a calmer tone. She sighed and squatted in the shade, pulling her headband off and repositioning it to hold back her hair. A thirty-foot ravine began at their right where a spring bubbled from the rocks. The clear, icy water cascaded over the rocks to the ravine bottom where it flowed into a small stream that wound its way south and around a bend. To both sides, piles of boulders and tree roots formed two walls, a complex winding staircase to the forest floor above. Fi and Asher had been exploring the ravine bed for over four hours and had gotten nowhere. It was frustrating. Asher sat down beside her.

“Well of course we’re very close. Those two are never wrong.” His reference to their fearless navigators did give her comfort, she realized. “I believe one hundred percent that the entrance is in this ravine, but you know it must be pretty well hidden.” He slung his arm over her shoulder in reassurance. “We still have plenty of time to find it and who knows, maybe Jose and Mayra already found it downstream,” he gestured toward the bend in the stream where Jose and Mayra had chosen to investigate.

As she sat and reflected, Fi realized that something about this ravine brought up an old memory. When she had been younger her parents had taken her and Kiara to visit Crystal Cave in Kutztown, Pennsylvania. It had been kind of a basic tourist stop except for the actual cavern itself. It was completely awesome inside. She wished she remembered more about it now because something about it was bugging her. Fi stared up the walls of the ravine and felt a new wave of hopelessness. All this time her conviction that Eden was real and was waiting for them had driven her relentlessly. She had bristled at the doubt and worry she could hear in the others’ voices as the days passed and they continued to wander in the wilderness.

But now she was starting to feel the seed of doubt growing in her own mind. When Maggie died, it made her feel like Eden was the only answer, but now with Rachel suffering…she shivered thinking of Rachel’s gaunt frame. Is my decision killing her, she wondered? What if we don’t find anything?

As usual, Asher waited patiently while she thought. Dappled sunlight played over his face and his eyes closed as if in meditation. Fi allowed herself a moment to study his face. Today he had not braided his hair and the blonde cascade fell into his face and over his shoulders. His angular features caught the light as it washed across his skin. He was utterly beautiful, she sighed. It still seemed impossible that he could possibly feel the same way about her. Fi closed her eyes and broke herself out of her daydream.

“Back to business,” she said and Asher opened his eyes and turned to her. “I feel certain that we’ve found the right ravine because we found the point where it meets the Bald mountain and we went due north like Jose and Mayra said…” her voice trailed off. She sucked in her cheek and made clucking noises while she examined the natural walls around them. Suddenly the reason she was reminded of her visit to Crystal Cave came to her.

“Wait a minute!” she said. “Maybe the issue is that we keep looking for an entryway that is near the bottom of the ravine.” Asher looked at her in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said. “We know that Eden is underground, possibly far underground. But maybe the entry isn’t actually in the ground…” she said excitedly and looked up at the great tumble of boulders at the start of the ravine. “Maybe the entrance is,” she pointed her finger and grinned, “Up! I remember that the Crystal Cave was discovered when men saw an opening halfway up a cliff side.” She tilted her head, “So tell me Ash. How do you really feel about heights?” His smile broke wild and free across his face and her knees weakened. This love stuff is weird, she thought, feeling happy but unnerved at the same time. She was constantly being hit by feelings at inconvenient times.

“By Jove,” Asher joked, “I think she’s got it.” They walked together to the boulders and began working to scale them. It was treacherous work. Some of the boulders were slippery and others were loose and wobbly. Each step and handhold had to be tested before committing one’s whole weight. Fi went up first because she was smaller and quicker. Plus, when she needed a boost, Asher was there to help her. Once she gestured to him.

“A little help please,” she waved her hand behind her. Asher placed his hand firmly on her bottom and lifted her straight up onto the ledge.

“Whoa, whoop!” she squealed as she landed on her feet. “Hey now, watch the hands!” He grinned up at her with wide eyes.

“What?” Fi shook her head. As if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, Maggie would have said.

“That was a freebie!” she laughed as Asher pulled himself up to stand beside her. “Next time you have to pay.”

“Why Miss Fi,” he mocked. “I didn’t realize you were that kind of girl.” Fi realized what she’d said and landed a solid punch on his arm.

“That was not what I meant.”

“Ow, Fi!” he protested, rubbing his arm. “Remind me not to piss you off again.” As he rubbed his shoulder, he met her eyes, his gaze turning intense. Fi’s breath quickened, but she didn’t turn away. Could he feel her heart pounding, she wondered?

“Fi,” he leaned closer. Oh God, she thought. Tingles turned to shivers as she closed her eyes. Just when she thought he would kiss her he said, “What’s your real name?” Caught off guard, Fi’s eyes flew open and she sputtered.

“What? Uh, um. Oh.” So he didn’t want to kiss her then. Feeling stupid, she pulled away and plopped down on the rock ledge. Asher sat beside her, waiting, but Fi shook her head, her lip jutted out in a stubborn protest.

“Why won’t you tell me?” he frowned. Always with this, Fi thought, frustrated.

“It’s hard to explain.” It was a struggle to control her wavering voice as she thought of her father. She turned to face Asher and tucked one leg beneath her. There was tightness around his eyes as his hand reached to push a stray curl behind her ear. Her breath caught when his hand brushed her cheek.

“Try.” The plea was so gentle. Fi felt torn.

“It’s not like I’ve been keeping anything from you,” her tone grew plaintive. “Fi is my real name. Almost no one ever called me anything different my entire life.”

“But?”

“But,” she said as tears welled in her eyes. “Whenever he was feeling particularly loving or we were having a really special moment, my Papa would call me by my full name.” Now the words came out in a rush. “It was his choice you see, my name I mean. Not that Mama didn’t love the name too, but it was Papa who looked at me when I was born and he said the name came to him immediately, like it was meant to be.” She turned away, her gaze distant. “So now my full name just reminds me…” she paused and spun a leaf in her fingertips.

“Of your father.” Asher finished her thoughts.

“Yes.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “That’s why I haven’t told you Asher, or anyone else for that matter.”

“But Sean knows your real name.” His voice was bitter and Fi was startled by his tone. It almost sounded like he was jealous.

“Yes, but only because we’ve known each other since we were born Ash,” she said gently. His eyes bored into her, so intense that they appeared almost black instead of blue. His gaze was so raw that Fi could feel his pain, and she realized that he too had a strangling ache in his chest. In that moment, she realized with complete certainty that Asher Grey was as hopelessly in love with her as she was with him. It was silly, she knew, that she still had doubt, but there was no doubting the look in his eyes now. She shifted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Immediately, he reached to stroke her hair.

“Ash, if it matters,” she stammered, “You know that Sean is, and always will be, my brother. Nothing more, nothing less.” She searched his face and he stroked his fingers along her jaw, sending little feathery electric shocks over her whole body. “Tell me Ash,” she began.

“Anything, Fi,” he replied, his gaze soft.

“Why is it so important to you? My real name I mean? Is it just because Sean already knows it?” He smiled.

“No. The reason I want to know is because it feels strange to have a secret between us.” His fingers cupped her jaw and he leaned in to kiss her. “Because people who love each other don’t need to have secrets,” he whispered, his lips a breath away from hers. Fi grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to her. His lips met hers and she felt her body melt, sliding, falling, flying. It was like nothing she’d ever dreamed every time he kissed her. He pulled away, far too soon she thought, and she opened her eyes and smiled.

“Fionnuala,” she murmured and she kissed his fingers. “My real name is Fionualla.”

“Fionnaula,” he repeated, the sound of his voice making her tingle even more. He leaned in to kiss her again and once again, her whole world turned to molten lava. Suddenly there was a whistle from below. Startled, Fi remembered where she was and looked down at Jose and Mayra below them. Jose stood clapping while Mayra grinned.

“Well done you two!” he joked. Both Fi and Asher flushed. “So,” Jose called. “What the hell are you two doing way up there besides making out?” Asher stood up and held out his hand to Fi. Grabbing his hand, she sprung up and as she did, her back bumped against the rock at her back. Behind her, she felt a small tumble of pebbles and stones fall away and clatter into the ravine. She turned to find the source of the rockslide and saw a small opening in the rock wall that hadn’t been there before. She bent and peered into the hole and then gasped.