Dust to Dust: A Broken Fairy Tale (31 page)

His gun is to his side, and with a sorrowful expression, he speaks quietly. “I’m sorry this happened. I should have stopped her years ago. She’s an evil person.”

I look back to the couch to see Mary Waters, slouched over, shot in the head. Her eyes are still wide with insanity, hands crossed on her lap as if she had no idea her son was about to turn on her.
Jake saved me.

I feel lightheaded. My body begins to swerve unsteadily with relief. Jake runs to my side and has me in his arms before I can hit the floor. I look up into his sad eyes, eyes that I used to fear, that haunted my nightmares, and right now, they were eyes that made me feel safe. The feeling is both confusing and peaceful. This is a man I feared for so long. I feared the memory, his presence, the possibility of his revenge. Now, I know I don’t have anything to fear from him again. We both start to cry in each other’s arms.

“You saved us,” I whisper through my tears.

“No, Camryn. You saved me.”

Everything seems to move in slow motion again. The front door bursts open seconds after Jake and I embraced. Police officers swarm the living room, yelling at us to put our hands up.

“He saved me,” I yell at the top of my lungs as several officers tackle Jake to the floor. Jake’s face is pressed against the dark oak floor, facing me. He mouths “Thank you,” and is cuffed and led away. I look over to my father, who is being placed on a stretcher, but conscious. He tries to tell me something but I can’t figure out what. I still can’t believe I am alive. I was seconds away from dying, and now I am here, alive. The pain in my foot wakes me from my haze when the men begin to lift me up onto a gurney. Paramedics are asking me questions and officers are hovering over me, waiting for me to make a statement. I shake my head yes, then no, not sure if I am even able to speak at this moment. Shock. I am in shock. Words are forming at my lips, but I can’t seem to get them out. I hadn’t realized it until now, but wet streams of tears mixed with blood are pouring out of my eyes, dripping onto the white sheets below. I am being wheeled out the front door, surrounded by paramedics and officers, completely disoriented by my surroundings. Red and blue lights are flashing in the night sky of this quiet shore town, sirens blaring ominously down the street. I see Jake leaned up against a patrol car, giving his statement to Dave. Dave looks to me, and then back at Jake. The only thing I can do is nod at him, hoping he knows that he should believe the insane story Jake telling.

I am turned around and backed into the ambulance when I see him. I think I’m hallucinating at first. He looks too heavenly to be real. I spot Holden before he sees me. His dark hair is standing up, all mussed, and I know it’s because he’s been pulling at the ends like he always does when he’s stressed. He is talking with an officer, yelling, looking around frantically, true to Holden’s form. His white buttoned-down shirt is unbuttoned at the top, slightly untucked, and his tie nowhere to be seen. When his eyes meet mine, it is as if all of the world around me disappears and all I see is him. Holden Patrick. The man I never thought I would see again. The love of my life.

The paramedic asks me if something is wrong when I suck in my breath, unable to breathe until he is in my arms. I need to feel him to know I am really alive, to know that this nightmare is finally over.
It’s all finally over.
The fear I have had all of these years is gone.

Holden begins sprinting towards me, pushing an officer guarding the ambulance to the side, and leaps into the ambulance in one swift motion. He doesn’t take me in his arms right away like I want him to. He stops short in his tracks just as he approaches, and looks at me, stunned, and kneels down at my side. He gently puts his hands on the side of my face, and presses his forehead lovingly to mine.

“I love you so much,” he whispers through his tears. He wipes my blood-soaked face and kisses my lips softly. “I thought I lost you.”

“You’ll never lose me again.” I am finally able to speak. “I’m okay.” I could barely get out the words.

“You’re okay,” he repeats softly, and sits back and looks over my blood-covered body, and then over at the paramedics. “She’s going to be alright,” he says rather than asks.

“I’m going to need a cast again.” My voice breaks, too strained to speak clearly.

A playful smile comes across his face, warming my heart. “I guess that means you’re moving back in.”

I smile, feeling a sense of peace I have never experienced. I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel
me
. “Guess so.”

I
t’s hard to believe how different I feel. I feel like a whole person, all the cracks and breaks in me mended with love. After that fateful night last fall, so much has changed, but then again, nothing has changed. My lungs feel ten times larger, no longer in a constant state of suffocating worry and fear. Jake did something horrible to me. I’ll never forget what he did to me; it changed me to the core. But I’ve learned in order for me to move past it, I have to forgive him, and I think I have. He saved my life. As much as he took part of my life away that night so long ago, he gave me back a life that is too perfect to regret. My daughters. Holden. They make me feel whole. They show me every day what unconditional love is.

Looking out to the city lights below, I say a quiet prayer, thanking God for the second chance at life and love that I’ve been given. I can’t help but wonder what is happening behind the bright rows of lights of the apartments below. Are they happy? Are they in love? Are they in danger? I shake the thought and walk down the hallway, looking for Holden and the girls. I pause in the doorway, when I hear Holden talking quietly with the girls, and listen.

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess…” he begins.

“What was her name?” Sophie asks, hopping up and down on the couch.

“Her name was Princess Camryn,” he said without hesitation.
Very creative.

“That’s Mommy’s name,” Ellie interrupts.

Holden smiles and kisses her forehead. He begins telling a romantic story about a young princess who had a loyal best friend. She and her friend loved each other more than anything in the world and lived happy lives together. Until one day, an evil witch came and put a spell on the two friends. She built a steel wall around Princess Camryn’s heart, making her unable to fall in love. Then the evil witch told the boy there was no way to save his best friend, that he was the cause for her pain, and sent the boy away and told him never to return again.

Holden seemed to sense my presence and looks back at me and smiles, like he has been caught telling a secret. I smile back. “Go on. I want to hear how it ends.” I walk over and snuggle in next to Ellie, taking her up on my lap, and kiss her head.

Holden absentmindedly plays with Sophie’s hair as he continues. “Well, you see, one day the boy realized what could cure Princess Camryn.”

“What, Holden?” Sophie asks, interrupting him.

Holden looks right into my eyes. “True love. True love is the key to break the curse.”

My heart belongs to this amazing man in front of me. Every part of me belongs to him, and I never want it any other way.

He continues, still looking only at me, “So one day, the boy, now a man, found Princess Camryn. He walked right up to her and took her in his arms. She didn’t resist; she seemed to know it was where she belonged all along. The devastatingly handsome man told Princess Camryn he loved her, and was going to spend every second for the rest of his life protecting her and taking care of her.”

“And they lived happily ever after!” Sophie cheers.

Holden smiles brightly. “And they lived happily ever after.”

It is true: Holden is my knight in shining armor. He’s given me a life that I have never thought possible. My life has been more like a
NCIS
episode than real life, and Holden has been with me every step of the way. He diligently pushed me through physical therapy for my ankle yet again, and helped me become whole again.

We tuck the girls into bed and go back out to the couch, snuggling in tightly together, our legs entwined, soft music playing in the background.
The Civil Wars, I think. Life is good.

Tomorrow I am running in the NYC Marathon to raise money for victims of rape, and he will yet again be there to support me. A year ago, I would have never thought it would be possible for me to run a race like this. My ankle was broken yet again, in several places, and now has a four-inch piece of steel securely holding my ankle in place. Holden knows how important this race is to me, and in his usual pushing and overbearing fashion has encouraged and supported me in my rehabilitation and training. Now with the race hours away, I am wondering if it was all a big mistake. A marathon like this one is a big deal. And this is going to be my first ever full marathon.

Holden runs his fingers along my stomach, shaking me from my thoughts. “You’re going to kill it tomorrow, so stop worrying.”

I giggle into his chest. “You know me too well, Mr. Patrick. I’m just nervous is all. That’s perfectly normal.”

He traces his fingers one by one, slowly up the side of my waist, tickling each bone of my rib cage seductively. “Just picture me and the girls at the finish line to push you forward.” His fingertips teasingly tug at the bottom of my bra.

“Don’t be so cocky, Holden. Maybe there are other things than you that can give me incentive.” I kiss his neck, playing along.

He husks in a sultry tone, “I will give you something to look forward to.” His large hands grasp at my breast, kneading them wantonly.

My breath hitches as he flips over on top of me, hovering inches from my face. “I am going to make love to you all night tomorrow.” He trails passionate kisses along my collarbone, each time the contact of his lips to my skin sending trails of fire through my body down to my core. “I want you so bad right now that it hurts.”

I feel his hard desire pressed against me and am almost drowning in need. “It can be a pre-race warm up.” I grip at his hair, while he runs his tongue across my stomach down towards my belly button. My stomach muscles clench, and my legs fall open. His hand grips my waist, and then makes its way down to my sex that is calling for him. I let out a sigh, showing him my appreciation.

“Fuck, Camryn. You make it so hard sometimes.” He looks up at me through his long, dark eyelashes. “I’m not going to be responsible if you cramp tomorrow.” He makes his way back up to me, now placing apologetic kisses in the place of the others.

“I hate how logical you always are,” I say, pouting.

“Me too.” He smiles, wrapping me up in his muscular arms. “Good things come to those who wait.”

I’ve never known words to be more true than they feel now.

The first half of the race I feel amazing. My dad, Jess and Dave, the girls and Holden, even Marcus came to cheer me on at a few checkpoints. I focus on my goal for the race and the women I am running for the entire time. Victims of rape are some of the strongest people I have ever met. Some broken, some scared, but all brave. They give me the strength to push through the pain that is aching through my ankle the farther I run. I turn the corner marking the twentieth mile, and a cold chill comes over me. The exhaustion I am feeling is numbing, but my pace remains steady. Katy Perry’s “Roar” begins booming on my iPod and I can’t help but smile. Holden made my soundtrack for this run, picking the perfect songs for each moment. He’s run this race before, and knows when I will need something loud and angry to push me up the steep hills, and something melancholy and memory sparking to help my consciousness drift away somewhere other than counting my strides or thinking about my ragged, tired breaths.