Dreaming of You (31 page)

“Gavin dear,” his mother said, breaking into his thoughts.  “You and Melody should be getting on your way before long as well, if you intend to reach Rutherford Park before dusk.”
 

As they had decided to forgo a honeymoon trip for the time being, at Jane’s insistence he and Melody would be spending the upcoming week at Rutherford Park while she remained in London to look after William and Emma.  “Yes, I suppose we should,” he agreed, turning to Melody.  “I assume you would like to change first?”
 

“Yes,” Melody nodded.  “And I should see that William and Emma are comfortably settled into the nursery before we depart.”
 

“Of course.”
 

“Come along children,” Melody called to William and Emma.  “Say goodbye to His Gr…er…your father,” she corrected, forcing an overly bright smile to her lips as she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, realizing that it was the first time she had referred to Gavin as their father aloud.  “And then we shall go upstairs and see if Miss Tibbs has gotten your new rooms in order.”  
 

“Goodbye Papa,” they chorused, both of them smiling brightly as they hurried to Gavin’s side.
 

As the coach rolled away from Rutherford House a short while later, Gavin realized that it was the first time that he and Melody had actually been alone together, aside from the brief ride from the church, since the night of the Duke and Duchess of Camden’s dinner party.  Unwittingly, the sudden realization also brought to mind the intimate topic of their previous conversation.  Not that he hadn’t given it a great deal of consideration since then, but now, with their wedding night mere hours away, the notion of Melody warming his bed was suddenly forefront in his thoughts.
 

From across the aisle, Melody could almost feel the pressing weight of Gavin’s steady regard.  Glancing up, she caught his unguarded gaze, a look that was almost piercing in its intensity.  For a moment their eyes met and held, and in that instant she would have given virtually anything to know what he was thinking, but then he abruptly turned away, directing his attention to the newspaper that rested on the seat beside him.
 

Needing a distraction, Gavin forced his gaze from Melody and his thoughts from his upcoming wedding night and reached for the paper.   
 

Watching him, Melody felt a twinge of melancholy.  Cleary he intended to busy himself with reading the paper so that they wouldn’t have to converse.  It was incredibly disheartening, for when they had been together at the cottage their conversations had always flowed so easily.  In fact, during some of their hours together it had seemed as though they had spent almost as much time talking, as they had making love.  Now however, and much to her disappointment, they hardly spoke more than two words to each other unless necessity required they do so.  She longed desperately for that to change.  “Your mother seems content to remain in London for the time being,” she said suddenly, hoping to engage him, if only for a short while.
 

Lifting the paper from the seat, Gavin’s intent was momentarily arrested by Melody’s comment.  Setting the Morning Chronicle onto his lap, he returned his gaze to his new bride.  “Yes,” he agreed.  “She appears to be enjoying her time in the city.”
 

Melody nodded.  “Natalie seems convinced that she will remain for the duration of the Season.”
 

“For my part, I shall certainly encourage her to do so.  She has spent far too much time closeted away in the country since the passing of my father and brother.”
 

“Although I did not know her before of course, from what I have observed, she seems to be in good spirits nowadays.”
 

“A great deal of that can be attributed to the presence of her grandchildren, I’m sure,” Gavin said with a slight smile.  “In a sense, William and Emma have given my mother a new purpose in life.”
 

“I’m glad,” Melody said with a little smile of her own.  “And clearly they adore her.”
 

“She spoils them outrageously,” Gavin said, his smile growing a bit wider.
 

“Indeed,” Melody agreed with a light chuckle.  “I fear that Miss Tibbs will soon have to let out all of the waistbands in William’s trousers, with all the sweets your mother sneaks to him.”
 

“Yet when I was a lad, she was forever chastising me for my own unremitting sweet tooth,” Gavin lamented with a wry expression.
 

“It is a mother’s duty to be stringent and a grandmother’s privilege to be indulgent, I suppose.”
 

“Yes, I suppose it is.”
 

“It was the same with my mother, when the children and I resided at Edgington.  No matter what the circumstance, in her eyes it seemed that William and Emma could do no wrong.”
 

“I imagine it will be somewhat difficult for them, not being able to spend as much time with their grandchildren.”
 

“Yes, I fear that it will be, but I shall take the children to visit them as often as possible,” she began.  “If it meets with your approval, of course,” she added, realizing that Gavin, as her husband, now had the authority to dictate her and the children’s actions.
 

Gavin nodded.  “I do not foresee it being a problem.”
 

“Thank you.”  The relief she felt was acute.  “And I would also like to thank you for being so gracious and kind to my parents during their visit.  It meant a great deal to them, and to me.”
 

Her sincerity was evident.  “It was my pleasure,” he said honestly.  “And I whole-heartedly agree with what my mother said earlier, your parents are delightful people.”    
 

Smiling, Melody simply nodded.
 

Once again, Gavin was confronted with the seemingly conflicting aspects of Melody’s personality.  Despite the undeniable selfishness and treachery of her past behavior, it was becoming more and more apparent that there was a vastly different side to her as well.  A side that reminded him time and again of the young woman from the cottage, the woman he’d presumed her to be.  She was an amazing mother, and it was obvious that she loved her parents and brother as much as she loved her children.  Now, after meeting the Settrington’s, he couldn’t help but wonder if her actions hadn’t been entirely motivated by self-interest and greed as he’d previously assumed, but perhaps motivated instead by an imprudent and misguided attempt to secure the welfare of the people she cared about most.  It didn’t excuse what she’d done, but it did allow him to view her actions from a slightly more tolerant perspective.
 

Although Gavin
did
occupy himself with the newspaper for much of the time, the remainder of their journey to Rutherford Park wasn’t spent in total silence as Melody had feared.  Seeming to have gotten past their initial awkwardness, they managed to chat amicably from time to time during the ninety minute drive, much to Melody’s inner delight.
 

He’d been staring at it for nearly an hour, the door that led into the small dressing room that separated his bedchamber from hers.  Sprawled within the depths of an upholstered wingback chair, he took another drink from the tumbler of whiskey he held in his hand as he continued to fight the urge to walk across the room and open that damnable door.  All through dinner he’d barely been able to keep his eyes off of her, and then, after she’d retired for the night, he’d been able to think of nothing but her.  It was maddening.  He hated that he wanted her, but he did damn it.  He wanted her with an overwhelming intensity that he couldn’t deny, as much as he tried.  She’d plagued his dreams for years, and now she was here, and she was his.  Despite the circumstances, he wanted to feel her in his arms once again, to see if it was as good as he remembered.  
Or had that been a pretense as well
, asked the niggling voice that lurked at the back of his thoughts.  He knew there was only one way to find out.
 

Not more than ten minutes later, he finally lost the internal battle.  Rising from the chair, he set the now-empty glass onto a nearby table and then made his way across the room.  Grasping the doorknob, he pulled the door open, quietly crossed the small space and then hesitated in front of the final barrier that separated him from
her
.  Then silently, almost cautiously, Gavin opened the door and stepped into her bedchamber.  
 

The room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of the moon as it shown through the sheer drapery panels that had been pulled across the windows.  He quickly swept the shadowed room with his gaze, noting that the bed was empty.  He saw her then, standing at one of the tall windows that overlooked the rear of the estate, one of the gossamer panels pushed to the side as she gazed out into the darkness.  He stood there for a time, watching her as she stood at the window, unaware of his presence.  Her long blonde hair was hanging loose and fell about her back and shoulders in a heavy mass of gentle waves, its golden hue catching and reflecting the light of the moon.  How many times in the darkness of the cottage had he wondered as to its color, he mused?  Too many to count, he realized with a touch of melancholy.  Forcing the memory aside, he took another step into the room, pushing the door closed behind him, allowing it to shut with a soft thud.
 

Hearing the sound, Melody turned from the window, her gaze falling upon where Gavin stood just inside the door.  Relief coursed throughout her body, for as the hour had grown later and later she’d begun to fear that he wouldn’t come.  For a moment neither of them moved as they silently regarded one another from across the room.  From where she stood it was impossible to make out Gavin’s expression within the shadowy darkness.  Perhaps it was for the best.  She wasn’t foolish enough to believe that he would willingly reveal his desire to share her bed, but at least he was here.  However, if there was any hope of restoring what they once had, she knew that she could leave nothing to chance.  She knew what she had to do.  Much like she had that first afternoon at the cottage, Melody forced her limbs to move, and with quiet determination she made her way across the floor.
 

Gavin remained rooted in place as he watched Melody move away from the window and walk purposefully toward the bed.  
 

Stopping at the side of the mattress, Melody turned to once again face Gavin.  He stared at her, tense and unmoving, and she could almost see the battle raging within him.  With her eyes locked on his, she raised her hands to the belt of her silk dressing gown and slowly slipped the knotted loop free.  Then, with trembling hands, she grasped the sides of the gown and pulled it apart, allowing it to fall from her shoulders and pool around her feet.  Despite the countless hours they’d spent in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, it was the first time he’d seen her naked.  She tried to appear confident, but inside she was woefully insecure, wondering what he would think seeing her body for the first time with his eyes, rather than his hands.
 

Gavin’s breath caught in his chest.  She stood before him for a moment, in all her naked glory, beckoning him with her eyes, and then, her gaze still locked on his, she sat down upon the bed, pushing the sheets aside as she moved to the center of the bed and then laid back against the pillows.  Though the room was shrouded in darkness, it wasn’t absolute, and for the very first time he was able to look upon the splendor of her body.  His gaze eagerly swept her lush curves as his eyes took in every last inch of her from head to toe.  She was even more beautiful than he’d ever imagined.  Unable to help himself, he moved toward the bed, toward her, almost as if he were tethered to an invisible string that pulled him to her, tugging him forward.  
 

Parting his velvet robe, he shrugged it from his shoulders, letting it drop to his feet as he reached the side of the bed.  Placing his knee upon the mattress, he looked down upon Melody’s face and met her unwavering gaze.  For better or worse, there was no turning back now.  Lowering himself onto the bed, he finally gave in to the overpowering desire that defied all reason.  Pulling her into his arms, he inhaled the delicious fragrance that clung to her like a second skin.  Incredibly, it was the same intoxicating scent that had haunted him for the past five years.
 

  Melody felt his warm breath blow softly against her cheek and it caused a shiver of desire to race along her spine.  It had been so long, so very long.  Arching her back, she crushed her breasts against his chest as she raised her hands, tangling her fingers in the soft curls at the base of his neck, drawing him to her.  She didn’t speak, afraid to do or say anything that might cause him to pull away.  Instead, she spoke with her hands, pulling him closer, showing him what she wanted.
 

If he’d thought for even a moment that he could remain cool and detached, to hold a part of himself back, he was instantly proven wrong.  But nonetheless, he resisted the urge to kiss the softness of her lips.  It was too soon.  It seemed too intimate somehow.  Instead, pressing his mouth to the slender column of her neck, he trailed his lips along the petal-soft skin until he reached the hollow at the base of her throat.
 

Gasping softly in pleasure and anticipation, Melody’s fingers slid from his hair, her hands moving to the tops of his naked shoulders, her fingertips pressing into his warm, muscled flesh.  It had been so long since she’d been able to touch him, to feel the heat of his bare skin against hers.  It was heaven, and so much better than her fantasies.  She felt his hand move downward then, his fingers trailing lightly along her ribcage and then changing direction a moment later, moving upward until his palm cupped the underside of
her breast, his thumb gently stroking her sensitive skin, as his lips continued their own sensual exploration.  When they reached her breast, his lips closing around the taut bud and then drawing it slowly into his mouth, she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning aloud at the intoxicating sensation.