Dreaming Awake (3 page)

As always, my daydreams circled back to Haden. He’d found me between classes after first period and made it quite clear to anyone who saw us together that we were a couple. It wasn’t like it was an extreme display of public affection either. It was the way he looked at me when he held my hand—as if I were the sun in his orbit.

Just thinking about him made me warm all over and I blinked myself back to the land of trig equations reluctantly. It was then that the sensation of being watched hit me again. I tried to ignore it, but the tension grew each minute like a balloon gathering more and more air. The feelings were overwhelming. The balloon was going to pop from all the pressure.

The heat grew over my right ear and I finally whirled in my seat to send a scathing look to the rude starer. Two rows away, Mike Matheny’s eyes grew wide before he cast them down quickly to the open book in front of him.

Towards the end of class, we were released to work together on the next day’s assignment. Brad Wickman approached my chair.

“I thought you might need this,” he said shyly, handing me a spiral notebook.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Trig notes. The ones you missed are towards the end.”

My brows knit together. “You’re giving me your trig notes? Don’t you need them? We still have a final coming up.”

“I’ll be okay.” He smiled.

“Brad, I can’t take your notes—”

“Wick,” he interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“Everyone calls me Wick.”

“Erm . . . well, thank you, Wick. It’s very sweet for you to share your notes, but I would feel really bad about keeping them. How about I copy them in the library and give you back your notebook tomorrow?”

He blushed a little. “That would be really great. You’re the best, Theia.”

Before I could respond, he bolted back to his seat. The tips of his ears were bright red. I knew a thing or two about blushing, but it was a strange experience to be on the other side of the flush. Had I made him nervous? Me? Perhaps he was embarrassed to be seen talking to the notorious girl on campus.

The bell rang and we all scattered to my next least favorite place on campus—the cafeteria. Maybe that was an exaggeration. There was nothing wrong with the cafeteria; in fact, I quite enjoyed the pizza and Tater Tots, since I didn’t get that kind of food at home. I just wasn’t in the mood to be in an enclosed space with everyone in the school and their gossip.

Amelia had to retrieve her cell phone from jail—her first-period teacher was well-known for confiscating them—so I went on to the lunchroom without her. I threaded my way between the tables in the cafeteria with my tray and waited for my friends at our old table. Mike Matheny, Amelia’s unrequited crush and somewhat rude starer from trig, joined me. His presence was unexpected. For one thing, most of the school had always preferred to ignore me rather than acknowledge my existence. For another thing, he seemed to prefer to ignore
Amelia
rather than acknowledge
her
existence, and she was really the only thing we had in common besides our math class.

“Hey, Theia,” he said. His tray was filled with what must have been two lunches.

“Hello, Mike.”

Mike wore what most of the male population of Serendipity High sported in the late spring—board-length shorts and a T-shirt with a sports logo. Somehow, even though Haden shopped in the same stores, the clothes looked different on him. Mike, however, blended seamlessly into the fabric of our school.

He looked at me intently, as if he was expecting something. Only, I didn’t know what. I lowered my eyes to my tray, hoping he’d get the hint, but I still felt his gaze on me, overwarm and awkward. You would think he’d have gotten the hint after I caught him staring in class.

To be fair, while he didn’t know that Haden was born half-demon and that I had been cursed with demon blood, Mike had been part of our group briefly. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was trying to be supportive and not just nosy. And Amelia still liked him, so if they ever dated, his presence would be normal at lunch every day. Still, he could have said something. Anything.

“Are you excited for the end of the year?” I asked, finally, to break up some of the strangeness. It’s not as if I didn’t know the answer to my question—everyone was, after all. “Do you have plans for the summer?”

“I’ll be working for my dad,” he answered. “I get to wash all the new cars on his lot.” I gathered he wasn’t very excited about it by the tone of his voice.

Amelia would be happy to know he would be staying in town for the break, though I still wished she’d give Varnie a better look. Mike was nice, but he would never understand the things that really made Ame happy. I didn’t see Mike hanging out reading auras with her or casting spells. But Amelia had always liked Mike, so I guessed I had better at least make an effort.

“Do you like cars?” I asked, for lack of another subject.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t like working for my dad.” He bit into his apple and spoke around the mouthful. “We’re not close.”

I looked away from his open mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m not very close with mine either.”

“English,” Gabe announced as he slid onto the bench next to me, nodding at Mike. “I need a favor.” He looked over his shoulder at the students filtering in and then hunkered closer to my ear. “I need your help to—”

“Well, isn’t this cozy?” Haden’s cold, steely tone preceded him as he stopped at the end of the table. His posture was relaxed, but there was no mistaking the look on his face—his jaw clenched tightly and his brow drew down. Then he smiled.

“Relax, dude.” Gabe rolled his eyes. “I have enough girl problems without adding your British babe to my stack.”

“British babe?” I repeated. I liked the sound of that.

Haden sat on the other side of me. He wasn’t
really
jealous, but I liked that maybe he was just a tiny bit. “You couldn’t handle her anyway,” he said to Gabe.

Haden held my hand under the table and we shared my lunch while Gabe explained that he needed help distracting Donny. Her birthday was coming up and he wanted to install a new stereo in her car. I really liked Gabe. He was everything Donny
never
wanted in a boy, which made him perfect for her.

Donny and Ame joined us, and Donny had to force Ame to take the seat next to Mike, who didn’t seem to speak for the rest of the lunch period unless it was to ask, “Are you done with that?” before he helped himself to the rest of your lunch. He just sat there. Chewing.

Everything seemed fine until I looked at my pizza slice and realized it would never fill me up. Never. All of a sudden I was starving. I wanted . . . I wanted to eat something that wasn’t on the menu. I realized I craved the light of a human soul. The force of the craving hit me like a blow to my stomach, and then, just as suddenly, it was gone.

Nobody seemed to notice that anything had been amiss, and I relaxed. I didn’t hurt anyone. The craving came and went and everything was fine. I was in control.

“The end-of-the-year carnival is coming up,” Donny said. “We should all go together.”

“Okay,” Mike answered, and I’m afraid we all stopped eating and looked at him for a moment. I’m not sure Donny had meant to include him, and it was strange that he accepted the invitation.

Amelia blushed and played with the ends of her braid. She hadn’t touched her salad, but I didn’t blame her. It didn’t have dressing. I abhorred vegetables and could only eat them if they were drowning in some kind of sauce. Her reason for not eating had to do with nerves, though.

Haden scowled at Mike—a real frown, unlike the playful one he’d used on Gabe. I don’t even think he knew he was doing it. Perhaps he was feeling a loyalty to Varnie and didn’t want Mike getting too close to Amelia. Wouldn’t that be something, if Mike and Varnie had to fight for her affections? I hoped Varnie would win too, but my loyalty was firmly bound to Amelia. She’d been in love with Mike Matheny since puberty; if she stood a chance at getting what she wanted, I wanted her to get it.

“Well, okay then. We’ll all six of us go to the carnival together.”

“We should invite Varnie,” Amelia said.

Again, we all stopped in midbite.

What was going on? Amelia liked Varnie, as a friend, but why would she pass up the chance to be paired up with Mike?

“Seven is a lucky number, right?” said Gabe.

Haden looked at Ame for a long minute. “Maybe he’ll want to bring a date.”

I squeezed his hand.
What was he doing?

Amelia crinkled her brow, like the thought hadn’t occurred to her, and now that it had, she didn’t much care for it. “Maybe,” she said simply.

“I don’t like carnivals,” I said. And I didn’t like Haden deliberately baiting my friend either. Though maybe he was right—maybe a little jealousy might spark her attention to Varnie.

Haden leaned into me. “I want to go on one of those rides in the dark with you.”

“The only dark ride they have is that awful scary one.”

“I’ll keep you safe.” His words were normal, but the low timbre of his voice reached inside me and played like a seductive song.

I leaned further into him. “Maybe you should be more worried about your safety.”

Thankfully, the lunch period was almost over and Mike said he had to go. Ame made an excuse to go the same direction.

“I don’t like him,” Haden grumbled, turning over his shoulder and watching Mike all the way out the door.

“Matheny’s all right,” Gabe assured him. “Ame could do a lot worse.”

“She could do a lot better. I don’t know how to explain it, but something is off with that guy.”

“He’s not Varnie,” Donny suggested. “I think that’s what you mean.”

I nodded. “Do you think Varnie will stick around, though? When we first met him, he was getting ready to move out of Serendipity Falls. Something about bad juju.”

“He pretends he’s all Cowardly Lion guy, but he hasn’t backed down from anything that’s threatened one of us.” Donny bit her lip. “Look, she’s never going to see Varnie as boyfriend material unless he makes the first move, so all this talk is getting us nowhere. They need to work it out on their own.”

Gabe laughed. “You’re so full of it.”

“What?” she asked.

“The very last thing you’re thinking about right now is letting them work it out on their own. You’re already planning something this very minute.”

“No, I’m not, pretty boy.”

“Liar.”

“You think you know me so well. You don’t.” She stood up. “I have to get a book out of my car.”

Gabe flashed a grin at me while he gathered their garbage. “That means she wants to make out with me before class. See you guys later.”

She glared at him before she stomped away. Instead of barreling through it, she stopped and waited for Gabe to catch up, and they went out together. I guess he was right.

“Just you and me now,” said Haden.

I turned my attention to him.

“You’re so beautiful, Theia.” He traced his finger down my jawline.

I shook my head. “Rather ordinary, actually.”

“I’m never wrong, and I say beautiful. Do you know how many different shades of hair color you have?”

“Um . . . no.” Most people call it dishwater blond. It wasn’t quite blond, but it wasn’t brown either.

“Neither do I. I counted seven once, but I think there are more than that. Each one catches the light differently. Some are gold, some are wheat, and you have a few stray coppers in there as well.”

“You make my hair sound very interesting.”

“I could write a sonnet about your lips too.”

On cue, I licked them. I didn’t think about it; it was just a natural reaction. Haden’s natural reaction to that was a low growl that shocked us both.

And then the bell, which never rang when it was supposed to, shrilled loudly.

I sighed, blinking out of the spell he’d put on me. “I have to go to class. I keep hoping one of my teachers will take pity on me and pass me despite my absences. I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

Haden walked me out, kissed the top of my head, and told me he’d see me in history.

When I got to class, I reached into my bag and found a note scrawled in handwriting I didn’t recognize.

You’re in danger.

CHAPTER THREE

L
ater that night, we all joined hands around a table in the room at Varnie’s that Donny had dubbed “the war room.” The war room was where he did all his psychic readings for clients as “Madame Varnie” and where my friends had done séances and spells to try to find me when I’d been abducted to Under. The ambience of the room was very clichéd, with red, purple, and gold scarves draped everywhere and white lights and candles illuminating the space. Incense burned in the corner and it made me feel as if I couldn’t get a full breath of air.

I didn’t tell anyone about the note.

I don’t know why. After the cold dread flushed through my body, I crumpled it up and threw it away. I guess I just wanted to bury my head in the sand a little longer. After all, the warning was redundant. I was well aware that I was in danger and that at any given moment I
was
the danger. I shuddered at the memory of craving a human soul for lunch.

Instead of a crystal ball, a very old book, opened near the middle, graced the center of Varnie’s table. The book itself didn’t seem very mystical, the binding aged and scarred as if it had been passed around many times. The text was typed on very thin paper, but none of the letters was recognizable, forming nothing but gibberish. Before joining our hand-holding circle, Amelia scattered a dusting of glitter in a circle around the book.

Donny rolled her eyes. “That is leftover glitter from the craft store. You’re not fooling anyone into thinking that’s fairy dust or anything.”

“Aesthetics are an important part of magic,” Ame answered. “Your surroundings can help center you. Plus, I did purify the glitter with a crystal in the sun. So, bonus—pretty
and
practical.”

“I’m just glad that we can go boy/girl on the hand-holding now. Thanks for coming back, Theia. I was getting tired of holding hands with your boyfriend.” Gabe winked at me across the table.

I winked back. “I’m sorry my abduction to hell caused you so much strife, Gabe.”

Donny’s eyes widened before she laughed. “Theia, did you just wink at my boyfriend?”

“She totally did,” Ame teased.

“Obviously, I’m going to need to keep a close eye on her.” Haden’s tone was light, but I sensed an underlying tremor of something beneath it. Jealousy? Maybe.

Boys were confusing. Before I met Haden, I’d never been comfortable around them, thanks to my father’s strict rules about me not associating with anyone male. Though I’d been tutored by Donny, who had been collecting boys for many years, I never had any reason to put flirting into practice until I met Haden, so it was a little strange that I winked at Gabe. I took it as a sign that I was maturing. It was harmless.

“Let’s get this dish plated up,” Varnie said. “I have an early-morning appointment with the surf tomorrow. Is everyone holding hands? Okay, so, we are going to use the bond that we all have with each other to strengthen the spell, but all you guys have to do is hold hands. Miss Amelia will do the actual spell casting.”

“What are you going to do?” Donny wondered.

“Sit here and look pretty,” Varnie answered.

Ame gave him the
You’re joking, right?
stare. “Varnie’s job is to help keep me centered. He’s a strong psychic, but he’s not really into practicing witchcraft.”

“Or demon summoning, for that matter, but nobody ever listens to me about that,” he interjected.

“The last one worked just fine,” Amelia argued, gesturing her head towards me. “We got her back, didn’t we?”

Donny sighed heavily. “Can we get started? Gabe hates these things and when he gets nervous, his hand gets sweaty.”

Gabe glared at her. “Most girls just want me to take them to the movies, a nice dinner now and then. You’re the first one who makes me go to séances and exorcisms.”

“I’m not any happier about it than you are. It’s not my fault my best friends are nut jobs and demons.”

“Focus, people,” Varnie admonished.

Haden and I exchanged a glance. He didn’t look as if he felt this was going to work, but I thought it was sweet that he went along with it anyway.

We all shushed. Varnie led us on a journey into our minds, where we were supposed to find a meditative, or at least calm, state. Amelia called that part of her brain the nougaty center, which was disgusting, but it wasn’t surprising that she could find candy-bar symbolism in just about anything.

As we all settled into a strange quiet place, Amelia started chanting. It was hard to believe that just a few months ago we’d been teasing her about the Hello Kitty tarot cards she was no good at reading. She seemed so much more confident now.

The book in the center of the table jiggled and then tendrils of white and gold reached slowly towards the ceiling, curling and looping and glowing. I held my breath as the letters seemed to lift off the page, arranging themselves into new formations and then dissipating in puffs of smoke. Instead of stomach butterflies, an angry swarm of bees churned inside of me. Magic, even the kind Amelia performed, made me uneasy. The blur that marked the border between the illusion of reality of the world I wanted to live in and that of the realm I didn’t want to remember was fraught with a magic that seduced before it bit.

I didn’t understand the words Amelia was saying, but she looked right at me and the letters lifted from the parchment again, only this time they floated across the table, stopping in front of my face. They began rearranging into new words, I guess, ones I couldn’t read, and then into shapes. That’s when things got chaotic.

They formed into what looked like several arrows and suddenly they speared themselves into my arm painfully. I yelped, but was transfixed. Time slowed to a crawl as the words of her spell pinched my flesh. I watched in horror, unable to stop the attack. Fear choked the air from my lungs, prohibiting anything but an impotent, silent scream from coming out. Haden tried to block the arrows, but they kept coming, sharply burying themselves into my skin.

Ame cried out, Varnie slapped the book closed, and Haden threw me to the ground and under the table. The letters were under my skin now, tattooing my forearm with symbols and unreadable words. The tattoos wound around my arm like word serpents, marking me inside and out. What did it mean? Why were they targeting me? Maybe Mara had somehow infiltrated the spell casting.

Ame joined me under the table. “Omigod, omigod.”

“What’s happening, Amelia? What are they doing?” My heart raced wildly, like a rabbit kicking my rib cage, pushing all of my senses into overload, and I clawed at my own skin trying to make the sensations stop. “I don’t know,” she said, grabbing my hands so I’d stop hurting myself. “This wasn’t supposed to go like this.”

Everyone crouched around us under the table, but I still didn’t feel safe. In fact, I felt trapped. My head filled with a high-pitched keening that I slowly realized was coming from me. Ame grasped my wrists and her eyes rolled back in her head. For a moment the Amelia I knew seemed gone. The one next to me was different, other. It chilled me. I watched, shocked, as all the words slithered from my arm to hers, and then disappeared.

Her eyes stayed open, but showed only whites for another few seconds, and then she blinked and came back to herself. I stared at her, mesmerized by the change. She brushed the hair out of my eyes. “I’m sorry, Theia. I didn’t know it would do that. Are you okay?”

“Not really.” I was upset, scared, and a little angry at being attacked. “What just happened? How did you know how to make it stop?”

She shrugged. “I’ve gotten really intuitive. I don’t know . . . it’s like everything clicked and magic just became easy to me.”

“Amelia, you didn’t pick up that kind of power from spending time in the metaphysical bookstore. Something has to have changed.” I didn’t trust it. It seemed too easy.

“Well, Varnie has taught me a lot. I think I’m just a natural.” She shrugged again.

I didn’t have the energy to explore the issue further. Ame and Haden helped me out from under the table. As I stood shakily, I noticed that everyone but Haden was surrounded by a different-colored glow. I blinked, but the image remained. “Everyone is glowing.”

“Glowing how? Like an aura?” Varnie asked.

I blinked some more. “I guess. You are all different colors.” I looked at my arm. I didn’t see the light around me, but I was glad to find that I didn’t see the strange letters and symbols either.

“Auras are so cool!” Ame exclaimed, rushing to help me back into a chair. “Some people say it’s your human soul.”

Souls. I didn’t think it was necessarily a good thing that I could see the souls of my friends glowing around them. Not when a mare demon’s power included the ability to absorb them.

I began trembling from coming down off the excitement and adrenaline. “Well, they are fading now, but they were really bright a few seconds ago.”

Haden stood behind my chair, massaging the tops of my shoulders absently. His touch calmed me, though I felt light-headed. He asked, “What went wrong with that spell? I thought it was for protection, but it seemed more like an attack.”

“It
was
a protection spell. I’m not sure . . .” Ame bit her lip.

“It wasn’t your fault, Miss Amelia,” Varnie reassured her. “We researched that spell really well. I don’t know what went wrong, but I don’t think it was anything you did.”

My skin felt clammy and cold, and my vision blurred slightly. Nausea and hunger battled for attention in my stomach. Was I still coming down from the rush of fear? Because it felt suspiciously close to the low blood sugar problem I sometimes had when I skipped a meal. Only, I’d eaten a huge dinner before going to Varnie’s.

Perhaps my body was telling me I needed to feed the unnatural hunger Mara had cursed me with. My heart began to break. “Maybe instead of protecting me, it was protecting all of you
from
me.”

Amelia squeezed my hand. “We don’t need protection from you, Theia.”

“You don’t know that, Ame. None of us knows what I’m capable of. You shouldn’t have brought me back.”

“Theia,” Amelia said, her sweet voice making it even harder for me to accept the danger I put them all in just by being in the same room. What would happen if I lost control, even for one second?

I couldn’t breathe. The weight of their expectations felt like an anvil pressing against my chest. I knew they just wanted to reassure me, but everything was so overwhelming. I needed to get out of there.

“I’m sorry,” I managed as I pushed past all of them and ran to the door, ignoring their protests.

The cool evening air, thickening with fog, slapped me as soon as I got outside. I sat on the steps, hanging my head. Pins and needles in my limbs flared and then seemed to dissipate as I concentrated on deep breathing.

Haden came out with my sweatshirt and offered me a hand up. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

I nodded, letting him help me up, and turned so he could ease me into the sleeves of my hoodie. He held my hand as we walked, but didn’t press me to talk until I was ready. When I began to feel more myself, I squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry about my outburst back there. I—”

He paused and turned me to him. “Don’t apologize. It wouldn’t be natural for you not to be affected. It was scary. We’re all concerned about you.”

There was the anvil again. “I’m fine.”

Haden looked at me darkly. “You’re fine.”

I nodded.

“Theia, you were attacked by some kind of magic spell about ten minutes ago. It’s okay to be upset.”

I nodded again. “I hope Amelia doesn’t blame herself.”

“She probably does. The spell was likely reacting to Mara’s blood inside you. She couldn’t have known that would happen.”

Now was my chance to tell him how I’d been worried about the hunger I’d felt. I tried to find the words, but before I could speak, Haden kissed my knuckles.

“Let’s go back to the house. I’ll make you some of that tea you like so much.”

I swallowed the words I’d meant to say. “Tea sounds lovely.”

By the time we got back, everyone had left. I had a couple of texts from Donny and Amelia to call them when I felt like talking. Varnie made an excuse to go to bed early so Haden and I could have some privacy.

I settled in on Varnie’s ugly, lumpy couch. “You’re getting quite good at making tea,” I told Haden. “I think it’s sweet that you keep PG Tips here for me.”

He looked down slightly, adorably embarrassed to be complimented for being sweet. His dark briar of eyelashes swept across his eyes. “That’s what you like. I want you to be comfortable here.” He looked at me through those lashes. “This is where I live. My home. You need to feel welcome wherever I am, but especially here.”

My heart clutched. He needed this life he’d found in Serendipity Falls. He’d been so alone for so long—but now he had a lumpy couch, and friends, and a home where he felt at peace. It would be selfish of me to tell him about my worries that I would lose the ability to stay in control of the demon urges. They could be just that—worries. I hadn’t acted on the hunger. There was no need to make him worry too. Not yet.

He leaned back into the couch, so I curled into him and rested my cheek on his chest. “You and Varnie are odd roommates, you know.”

Haden kissed the top of my head. “How so?”

“Well, he dresses like a woman, for one thing.”

“Only for his clients. He still won’t let me drink his beer, you know. Can you believe that? I’m technically older than him, in demon years, but he still says no.”

“He feels responsible for you,” I said. “I think it’s sweet.”

“You think everything is sweet.”

“Did you figure out his real first name yet?” I asked.

“All the bills come to A. E. Varnie, and he refuses to tell me anything other than that it’s awful and he considers legally changing it every day.”

I pondered that. “So, it can’t be something normal like Adam or Andrew.”

“No. I bet his license has it . . . but I don’t want to snoop. Do you need to go home soon?”

In the quiet of the room, the stillness between us, I felt like I could breathe again. I leaned back to look at Haden. “Probably. My father is still avoiding me, but I don’t want to give him any reasons to swing back into overprotective mode either.”