Dr. Chase Hudson (The Surrogate Book 2) (9 page)

Then she did the sweetest fucking thing. She snuggled
into my neck and planted a kiss at the bottom of my throat as I tried
to slow my breathing.

I tilted my head down, kissing her forehead. “Let
me up, babe,” I said, needing to go clean up. It was clearly
not a plan she was all that happy about as she made a grumbling noise
and rolled off of me, making me chuckle as I got up and walked toward
the bathroom.

I washed up quickly but in the time it took me to get
back to her, she was snuggled deep into the blankets, eyes at
half-mast, bone deep tired from all the sleeplessness and likely
aggravated by her orgasm. I smiled down at her as I slipped
underneath the covers. I pulled her to my chest. “It's okay.
Get some sleep,” I told her, my other arm wrapping her tight.
“I'm right here.”

And she was right there.

And I had a sneaking feeling that was where I would
always want her to be.

Fuck, fuck me.

After the Session

I woke up alone.

Which normally wasn't a big deal.

But I woke up alone in a bed in my office when I had
fallen asleep with a very soft, very contented Ava wrapped up with
me. An Ava who had proven herself a practiced worrywart, capable of
turning a situation that had gone well, that had made her (and by
extension, me) happy, and twist it into something dark.

Fuck.

I never got dressed that fast in my life, still
buttoning my shirt as I looked through the room, my office, then
reception for some kind of note explaining what happened. I grabbed
my keys and phone and made my way to the door. Which was locked. That
made no damn sense whatsoever.

I went out, scrolling through my contacts until I found
her entry, and hit send.

“This is Ava. Please leave a message.”

Was she ignoring my calls? Or was she genuinely out of
reach?

I called again. And again. And again.

If it was any other woman, I'd have been fucking
embarrassed to let so many calls go unanswered. But she wasn't any
other woman. She was shy, sweet, tortured little Ava and I was
worried.

On a curse, I slammed my car door and turned back
toward my office, still trying to reach her.

It was crossing a line. It was crossing
all kinds
of lines. But I looked up her address. Then I drove my ass to her
apartment. I banged on her door loud enough to wake all of her
neighbors.

I heard the locks slide and the door swung open. Then
there she was. In pajamas. With sleep-hooded eyes.
Thank fuck.

“Chase?” she asked, her light brows drawing
together like she wasn't sure if she was seeing what she was seeing.

“Jesus Christ, woman,” I growled to myself,
running a anxious hand through my hair.

“Chase, what are you doing here?”

“You scared the fuck out of me,” I
admitted.

“What?”

“I woke up alone. I woke up alone and there was
no note or anything. And my front door was somehow locked.”

She skipped over everything else I said and focused on
the damn door topic. “I fiddled with it with one of my keys
until it finally clicked.”

“I called your phone... I don't know...
twenty-five times.”

“Oh,” she said, her mouth pouting slightly
as she looked to the side of the door where, I assumed, her phone
must have been. “I didn't have it with me,” she said.
Then, taking a deep breath as if she needed to muster her courage,
she asked, “Chase, why are you here?”

“I got up. You were gone. No note. You didn't
answer your cell...”

“You were... worried about me?” she
interrupted in a tone that suggested it was the most asinine idea she
had ever heard.

“Hell fucking yeah I was worried about you,”
I said, shaking my head. “What did I say about walking around
at night? Not just at night. It must have been like... two in the
morning. That was taking an unnecessary risk. You should have woken
me up so I could walk you.”

“Chase I have been walking myself around this
city alone, even at night, for years.”

“Taking stupid chances,” I pressed. How
could she not see how defenseless she truly was? If someone ever came
out of an alley... “Looking like you do, you should have
someone on you all the time.”

“It's... sweet of you to worry about me and I'm
sorry I didn't leave a note or answer my phone. I just... didn't want
to wake you.”

“I can always get more sleep. I can't get another
you.”

Fuck.

That slipped out.

I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Damn it.

“What?” she asked, her eyes going a bit
wide at my admission that was way too close to admitting the whole
truth about how I felt.

“Nothing,” I said, hoping for casual as I
shrugged and looked away from her.

“What the hell is going on?” a male voice
joined us, making Ava start and my face to snap around, a swirling in
my stomach akin to jealousy starting. Until I saw Jake, the asshole
roommate, walking out of his room with pants he had obviously hastily
thrown on. “Ava who the hell is at the door at this... oh,”
he stopped, eyeing me. He looked sheepish. As he should. “Dr.
Hudson,” he said, inclining his head.

“Get back in here and finish fucking m...”
yet another voice joined. This time female. I looked past Jake to
where a black-haired girl came running out of Jake's room wearing
nothing but a god damn diamond pendant necklace. “Oh, well,
hello
,” she purred at me, her eyes giving me a slow
once-over.

Normally, she would have been my type. Secure. Sexually
confident. Unafraid of her own desires.

But, in that moment, she simply paled into the
background.

She had nothing on the sleepy-eyed, but suddenly quite
horrified, shy, insecure Ava standing a few feet from me.

“Hi,” I clipped to her, looking back at Ava
with a raised brow, willing her to stand her ground. Trying to get
her to
do something
about a situation that was obviously
making her uncomfortable.

“Um, Jake?” she started, her voice a little
soft, but I knew she was trying.

“Yeah?” he asked, completely oblivious to
the awkwardness of the situation.

“I'm pretty sure we agreed to a
no naked in
the main area of the house
rule.”

Jake looked between us and shrugged, “Yeah sure,”
he said and addressed his fuck buddy. “Get back in that room
and get yourself started,” he instructed and Ava's face went
red.

I fought the smile I felt tugging at my lips. She was
embarrassed. It wasn't because of Jake's naked girl. It wasn't even
because of Jake's mention that she get herself started. It was
because she was thinking about us masturbating together.

“You sure you guys are alright out here?”
Jake asked, addressing Ava and I wondered if he had always been
halfway decent about taking care of her or if it was because I
scolded him at the bar a few days before.

“Yeah, Jake. Fine,” she said, addressing
her own feet.

“Alright,” he said, nodding at me. He bent
low into Ava's ear and whispered something that made her cheeks blaze
all the more.

“This is an interesting place you live in,”
I said, holding in a chuckle, partly because that was just a fucking
ridiculous interaction and partly because she was so damn embarrassed
about it. “Ava,” I said, my tone more serious. But she
just kept looking down at her feet. I let my eyes drop, taking in her
bright neon green toenail polish with a smile before reaching my hand
out to lift her face to mine. “What's going on in that little
head of yours?” I wondered out loud. “You're blushing.”

“I think it's polite to
not
say that to
someone who is, in fact, blushing,” she chastened gently.

“Are you blushing because of that comment your
roommate made?” I asked, already knowing my answer.

“What comment?” she asked, feigning
ignorance.

“The one where he told her to get started without
him. Ah, I thought so,” I smiled, sliding my thumb over the
apples of her cheeks as they got redder. “Are you embarrassed
that I saw you touch yourself tonight?”

“Shh,” she urged, her head going over her
shoulder to check and make sure Jake wasn't lingering around.

I laughed. “They sound like they're going to
break through the wall. They can't hear us.”

She turned back to me, looking uncomfortable as she
cleared her throat. “But, yeah, sorry again for making you
worry...”

“It's alright,” I said, trying to force
myself to distance myself from her. My hand dropped. “I'm gonna
go.” I
had
to go before I pushed into her apartment and
fucked everything up. “Keep your phone by you. It's a safety
thing,” I said. “And lock your door.” I paused in
my orders, watching as a fully amused smile overtook her features. It
was truly the first of its kind I had gotten to see and it sent a
stab through my chest. “What?” I asked, wanting to know
what she was thinking.

“You're bossy,” she said, almost giggling.

I felt myself laugh and snort at the same time, shaking
my head. She had no idea. “Phone and lock, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed and she was fighting a
smile.

I needed to
fucking go
.

“Tomorrow night. Seven.”

I didn't even wait for a response, just turned on my
heel and got out of there as fast as I could without it looking like
I was running. But I was fucking running.

I drove home trying to convince myself to sever ties
with her. It was the right thing to do. Truly, the only thing to do.
On a professional level. That was supposed to be all that mattered to
me. I worked my ass off to get my career. I had never done anything
that could ever even remotely threaten it before.

But I was all kinds of line crossing with Ava.

I just couldn't fucking shake the idea that maybe she
was worth the risk.

“You're late,” Eddie said, making a
surprised laugh escape my lips. He sounded like an angry wife when
her husband didn't call to tell her he was going to miss dinner. “Get
laid?” he asked, giving me one of his lopsided smiles and I
realized his eyes weren't bleary from booze or dilated from drugs.

“Work,” I clarified. It was mostly true.

Eddie nodded his head, moving toward the kitchen and
getting a glass of water.
Water
. “Surrogate work,
right?” he asked, drinking.

“Yeah,” I nodded, pulling off my tie.

“Subs,” Eddie said, watching me.

“What? I asked, slipping out of my jacket too.

“I'm on subs. That's why I'm not fucked up.”

“You went to the clinic?” I asked, so
surprised I froze mid stride.

That wasn't like him. He never acted without my
spurring him into it. At least not when it came to recovery. There
was never a trip to a session that I didn't drive him to. Or a clinic
visit to get suboxone. Or a trip to the pharmacy to make sure he
didn't use the maintenance drugs to get high.

Eddie shrugged, looking away from me. “Thought
maybe it was time for you to stop having to take care of me.”

“Eddie, man...”

He shook his head, silencing me. “Been leanin' on
you too long. Need to get on my own feet.”

He was right. He did.

But still.

“If you need anything though...”

“I know,” he said, nodding at me. “Now
go get some sleep. It's fucking late.”

It was, so I moved into my bedroom and undressed. I lay
down in bed. But sleep wouldn't come.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I picked up my
phone and dialed.

“Hello?” Ava's hesitant voice met my ear.

“Take your clothes off.”

“What?” she asked, sounding suddenly alert.

“Take your clothes off, baby,” I said, my
tone gentler. She wasn't ready for the demanding side of me. She
probably never would be. Not in the course of ten sessions anyway.

“Why?”

I chuckled softly, shaking my head in the dark of my
room. “How about you don't fight me on everything?”

“Why could you possibly want to...”

“We are going to masturbate together again,”
I told her, my cock already throbbing in need.

“Oh,” came her surprised reply followed by
a long enough silence that I knew she was starting to freak out.

“I can hear those gears turning. Just take off
your clothes and lay back down, okay?”

“Is this... part of the... program?”

No fucking way.

And I should have been hanging up.

I should never have called in the first place.

“Yeah, baby,” I lied instead, closing my
eyes against the lead feeling settling in my stomach at doing so.