Dr. Chase Hudson (The Surrogate Book 2) (6 page)

“
Fuck me
,” I heard myself growl,
thankful she was holding her hips off of mine or she would have felt
how much of an effect she was having on me.

Because, make no mistake, there was nothing fucking
professional about how I was feeling right then- about how I was
looking at her- about how much I wanted her.

She had on a black lacy bra with matching panties and
garter belt, the black stockings clasped high up on her thighs. It
was a lingerie set meant to drive a man to distraction.

She accomplished that task.

But it wasn't just the lingerie. It was her. Ava. The
woman underneath the lace. Her collarbones, the breasts above the
cups of her bra, her flat though not toned tummy, the flare of hips.
Fuck... even the tiny iridescent spiderweb lines of stretch marks
over said hips. Just... perfect. And I wasn't even going to get
started on her legs.

“Was this for me too?” I asked of her
lingerie, watching as she nodded and gave me a shy smile. “Baby,
stand up,” I coaxed, pressing into her knees until she moved
off of me to stand. My hands rested at the tops of her thigh-highs.

“I... ah...” Oh,
fuck me
... the
stammering. I couldn't take it. She was too sweet. “Wanted to
say thank you.”

“Babe, what do you have to thank me for?” I
asked, watching her face.

“Because... because you're helping me so much.”

Jesus.

“Oh, babe,” I said, leaning forward and
resting my forehead against her stomach. “You're so perfect.”
Slowly, her hand came down to rest on the top of my head and I
twisted slightly to plant a kiss on her belly. My gaze found hers
again and I had nothing to say. There were no words. I always had the
words. That was my job. To talk to people. Christ. “Well...
you're welcome,” I went with finally, smiling clumsily up at
her.

Caught off guard, she fucking... giggled.
Giggled
.
The sound sent a warmth through my system and I felt my smile stretch
wide enough to make my cheeks hurt.

I reached out, pressing her backward so I could stand
then quickly shrugged out of my jacket and made quirk work of my
shirt buttons. Her eyes stayed stubbornly on mine. “Ava look. I
want you to look.” I watched her as she watched me, tossing my
shirt aside and moving my hands to the buttons of my slacks. She
watched until the pants were gone, her gaze going back up to my face.
She was getting nervous. “What do you want to do?” I
asked.

I expected a head shake, a confused look, a stammered
reply.

The absolute last thing I could have prepared for was
her closing the space between us, her arms wrapping around my back,
and her head moving to rest underneath my chin. I felt my body go
stiff for the barest of seconds, too surprised to move, before my
arms went around her, crushing her to me.

“I'd like to stay like this all night too baby,”
I said. Because I did. I could have walked us toward the bed, curled
us both onto our sides, and held her. Happily. Until morning. But
that was the problem. I needed to get it together. I needed to get my
head in the game. “But it's time.”

“It's time for what?” she asked, sounding
almost half asleep. And then, fuck, she turned her head and
kissed
my chest
.

“It's time to take the rest of our clothes off,”
I said and she went still. “Don't stiffen up. It's okay. You
can take as much time as you need, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, sounding like it was
anything but okay.

“Do you want me to finish first?” I asked,
watching as her eyes went over my body, stopping just above the waist
of my boxer briefs. “Ava?”

Her eyes flew back up guiltily and she croaked out,
“Me.”

I nodded, turning, sitting back down on the sectional,
watching her. “Ava,” I said, my voice a little harsh,
trying to grab her attention. “Why don't you start with the
stockings, okay?”

Then she did. She unclasped the garter and slid the
material down her long (perfect) legs. I bit the inside of my cheek
at seeing how badly her hands were shaking. I knew it was hard for
her. I also knew that she had to push herself or the therapy would go
nowhere. Then she made faster work of the garter. Just the bra and
panties were left. Two small swatches of fabric and I could see her
completely. She bent forward, her hair cascading forward, offering
her a small amount of privacy I couldn't begrudge her as she reached
behind her back and let her bra fall to the ground. Her hands slipped
down and hooked into her panties. Then she was out of them too.

But I couldn't drink in the view. I couldn't soak up
the image of her.

Because the second she was out of her clothes, she lost
it.

“I can't. I can't,” she said, her voice
dangerously close to tears as she went to the floor, pulling her legs
to her chest, blocking her nudity from me. “I can't. I'm sorry.
I just...” her body started rocking back and forth, trying to
comfort herself and I felt like the biggest shit in the world.

I moved down behind her, legs going out on her sides.
“Okay. It's okay,” I said, reaching for her, praying she
wouldn't shy away. She didn't. I pulled her to me until the side of
her face was against my chest. My arms went around her and I pressed
a kiss on the top of her head. Like an apology. “It's alright,
Ava. Take a breath, okay?” I urged, her body not having inhaled
at all since I got behind her, which only succeeded in allowing her
anxiety to spike. She followed instructions. “Good. Again,”
I said, my hands moving into her soft hair and stroking it. “Give
me a number.”

“Eight.”

Fuck.
Eight.

“Okay. Keep breathing. What do you need from me
right now?”

There was a long pause. “I need you to rub my
back.”

I shifted so I could reach her and stroked my fingers
up and down her spine. “Like this?”

I could practically feel the tension draining out of
her. “Yes.”

So then I stroked her back. Until she was languid and
calm against me. Until she was at the point where she was still
naked, but not freaking out about it.

“Okay,” I said, my hands moving across her
back and under her knees to lift her. “I am going to take you
to the bed.” Immediately, her body got tense. “No, don't
tense up,” I said gently. “I told you there isn't going
to be any sexual contact today. Okay? Do you trust me?”

The was barely even a pause before she answered.
“Yes.”

And damn if that didn't feel good.

She trusted me. Without even having to think about it.
This girl who didn't seem to trust anyone... trusted me.

“Okay. I am going to let you get under the covers
so we can do this slowly. So we don't have another panic attack. That
was my fault.”

“It wasn't...”

“Yes, it was,” I cut her off, not letting
her have more than a second to think it was her. It wasn't. I fucked
up. “I shouldn't have sat back like you were about to put on a
show for me. That wasn't a good move. I should have known better.”
I
did
know better. Which only made it worse. If I was just
some clueless asshole she met, I'd have an excuse. As it was, I had
none.

I pulled back the comforter and let her slide under,
pulling the blankets up to her shoulders. She held it in place but
scooted toward the center of the bed, giving me space to climb in
beside her.

“I am going to take my boxers off,” I told
her, reaching for the material.

“Okay.”

My head tilted with how quickly she accepted that, not
sounding anxious at all suddenly. “Do you want to watch?”
Beneath the sheets, her legs shifted. And I knew. I just knew she was
pressing them together because she was turned on. Jesus. She nodded
slightly. “That's so hot babe,” I said honestly, pushing
down the boxers and stepping out of them. I gave her a moment to
look. And she did, a slight blush creeping up in her cheeks, but she
didn't look away. Then I climbed in underneath the sheets with her.
“What are you thinking?”

We both turned onto our sides facing each other, but
she brought her knees up toward her chest as a barrier.

“Ava, tell me baby. You can trust me, remember?”
My hand moved out and rested on her cheek. “Please.”

“I was thinking about you...” she trailed
off and the blush went bright red, her gaze fell. Like she couldn't
face me and admit whatever it was that was in her head. “Inside
me.”

Fuck me
.

Okay.

I let my eyes close for a minute, trying to pull
forward some more self-control. “God, babe, that makes me
happy. You have no idea how badly I want to be inside you.”
Like never before, honestly. I'd wanted a lot of women before. I'd
had a lot of women before. But not one made me want her like I wanted
Ava that moment with her shy little admission that to her actually
meant the world. She wanted me inside her. She never wanted anyone
inside her.

“I have some idea,” she mumbled, biting
into her lip, her gaze shifting downward.

I choked on my laugh for a second before it burst from
my chest, a surprised and appreciative sound. I hadn't expected that
from her. It was cheeky and funny and it insinuated something sexual.
She had a lot more to her than she let people see. But she was
letting me peek at it. I had a weird, sneaky voice whisper that I was
never going to be satisfied until I saw it all. “You're pretty
amazing, do you know that?”

Something I couldn't place came over her face before
she looked away. “Okay. What now?”

“Touch me,” I said simply. That got her
attention. It also got me an eyebrow raise. “You want to, don't
you?” I asked, turning onto my back. “Here,” I
said, “I'll give you more access.”

A small smile toyed at her lips. “Are you like...
being playful?” she asked, her brows drawing together.

“I'm not always serious you know,” I said,
turning my head on my pillow to look at her. I found myself wanting
her to know about the me that I was outside of the office, outside of
the mask I had to wear for the sake of professionalism.

“Good to know,” she said, moving herself
upward as her hand hovered over my skin for an excruciatingly long
moment before lowering down onto my chest. Her hand shifted to the
center of my chest, moving downward and I heard my breath hiss out of
my mouth. The sound apparently emboldened her as her palm moved over
my skin greedily, hungrily.

“So my nudity is okay,” I observed, needing
to take some of my focus off what her hand was doing to me.

“I guess,” she said and her hand stilled.

“Okay,” I said, kicking the covers off my
body, letting myself be completely exposed, watching her face for a
reaction. Expecting hesitation. Fear. Anxiety. But, no. What I saw
was pure... heat.

“Can I see more of you now?” I asked,
pushing up onto my elbow on my side so I could look at her.

There was a long hesitation before, “Okay.”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the urgency I
felt, forcing myself to go slow. My hand went down to her feet,
slowly exposing her long legs. “These are great legs,” I
said, stroking my hand over them.

“Thank you.”

There wasn't even a pause. “You're getting better
at that.”

“Well you won't stop feeding compliments to me,”
she shrugged, trying to brush it off.

“Hey,” I said, my tone a little too rough.
“I don't want you thinking I am just saying shit to say it.
When I tell you how beautiful you are, I mean it. I want you to know
that. And I want you to start believing it too.” Shit. That was
a little harsh. A little too... demanding. She didn't need me to be
an alpha asshole when she was trying to trip her way through gaining
some confidence.

“I... believe you,” she mumbled.

“Do
you
believe it?” I pressed.

“I'm getting there,” she allowed.

“Progress,” I said, smiling a little.

“Yeah,” she agreed.

My hand went to the sheets and pulled them, exposing
her fully from the waist down. Immediately, her thighs snapped
together, blocking her pussy from view. “Your choice?” I
asked, my hand pressing down at the lowest point of her belly,
forcing myself to keep it a safe distance from her heat. “Or
what you thought I wanted?” I asked.

Her brows scrunched up. “What?”

“Completely shaving,” I supplied, looking
at the pale, flawless skin, but not able to see anything really.

“What? Did you expect everything to be all...
unruly?” she asked, sounding amused.

“Yes, actually. I figured you would find any way
you could to hide.”

“Just a personal preference,” she said,
watching as my hand moved up to the blanket that was just barely
hiding her breasts from view.

I still hadn't gotten to see them. When she had removed
her bra, her hair had been in the way. And I hadn't even thought to
look when she was freaking out.

I flicked the material away.