Doubting Our Hearts (18 page)

Chapter 21

Brayden

"What are you doing here?" Lillian asks obviously in shock I flew down.

What should I say? I had everything planned out on the plane, but now she's in my arms, all my careful planning is swirling down the drain. Do I stick to my original plan or just tell her the truth? The truth will surely freak her out, but I can't lie to her. This is so much more complicated than I initially anticipated.

"I just thought you might need me," I say plainly, but quickly add, "for support."

She continues to search my face for reasons or answers, some of which I can't give her. I see tears start to pool in her eyes again, and I pull her face against my chest. Lillian has never been one for many words. Actions speak for her as do her pictures.

When her tears have stopped, I wipe her cheeks gently trying to coax out what's going through her head. She leans into my hand, and I can't help myself but smile at her response.

"Do you want to talk?" She nods her head yes as I lift us both off the floor.

"Let me just tell my parents I'm going to be a while."

"Do you mind if I come with you?"

I know meeting the parents is a big thing, well, at least to some it is. I want her to take that step with me. I want to meet to the people that gave this beautiful woman life, who nurtured her, and raised her to be this amazing person.

She's not freaking out, which is good. She's thinking about it. When I see she's made her decision, her hand slides in mine as she nods once slowly.

Okay. I'm meeting her parents, and I'm just her friend.
Be polite and look them in the eyes.
Firm grip when I shake her dad's hand or should I be more gentle? The man's in the hospital after all. I'm anxious, but I asked for this too.

Lillian leads me to room 213 and pushes the door open smoothly. My eyes take in the plain beige color walls, green cloth chairs, and window on the back wall. The brown of the bathroom door matches that of the entry door, and Lillian's father lies on the hospital bed with his wife next to him in a chair. Her mother's eyes grow wide and her father tries to assess me as he sees my hand linked with his daughter’s. Lil registers her dad's gaze and quickly lets go of my hand.

"Dad. Mom. This is my friend, Brayden Knight. Brayden, these are my parents George and Helen Anderson."

I walk up to her father lying in the bed and offer my hand. "It's nice to meet you, sir. You're daughter is an amazing young woman." I say as George shakes my hand.

"She is quite something if I do say do myself," He states still evaluating the situation.

I turn to her mother and offer my hand in the same gesture. "Mrs. Anderson, lovely to meet you as well. You both must be extremely proud at all she's accomplished." Helen shakes my hand then glances back to Lily and back to me.

"Mr. Knight, it seems you know my daughter well. How may I ask is that?"

"Mom!"

"No, it's alright, Lillian," I say as I hold my hand up to her lightly.

The truth. Stick with the truth but keep it to generalities. I'm not sure how far I should go into detail with them.

"I met Lillian while I was on business here in Tampa last September. My assistant set up a photo shoot with a magazine in New York a few weeks ago. I was pleasantly surprised to see your daughter was the photographer."

"Are you here on business again?" Her father asks trying to get to the bottom of my motive for being here.

Shit. No. Well, technically, no. In general, yes. I'm momentarily saved by Lil's voice.

"Actually, dad, Brayden was the one who got me a ticket on such short notice. We've been hanging out, but we're just friends."

Why is that when Lillian says the word 'friends' it sounds so dirty? As if that one word possibly taints whatever relationship we’ve tried building.

"I’m here on business, unofficially. After I saw how upset Lillian was last night, I had to make sure she was okay."

I can see her mother soften at my response, and I give her a smile. So many features of Helen are reflected in Lillian, the same green emerald eyes, complexion, and small nose. However, she has her father's chestnut hair instead of her mother's blonde locks.

"Sooo. We're gonna go now," Lil says interrupting as her father was about to say something. She goes to hug both of them and plants kisses on their cheeks. "I love you. I'll be back soon. Call me if something happens, please."

"We will Lily bug," He replies to his daughter. He turns his blue eyes to me, and I don't know whether to be scared or happy that Lil's father is going to address me. He sticks out his hand, and without a second guess, I walk forward to take it. "I trust you'll look after her, son."

"It would be my pleasure, sir."

Holy crap. Did Mr. George Anderson call me
son
? Was that a warm greeting like a father-in-law would give to his son-in-law or a 'son' don't think of messing with my daughter? I hope it was the former because the latter scares me.

I can feel Lillian grab my wrist and yank at my arm. That's her signal to hurry the hell up. She's done it a dozen times.
Okay lady. I get the picture. It's time to go.

"I hope to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Anderson," I say as Lil pulls me to the door. I can hear they're chuckles, and a smile plays on my face as her mother says, "Please, it's George and Helen, dear."

"Go on, son. She'll probably pull your arm out of your socket next. No use two of us being in this place," George adds with a wink.

He called me son again! He likes me. I give them a slight nod and wave as Lillian pulls me into the hallway.

"You're parents are great," I tell her with a smirk when she lets go of my wrist.

"They like you ok," She replies with a huff.

"They
love
you," I quip.

"Yes, they love me and I love them."

I wish you would say you loved me too.

At my thought, I freeze up. How can I be thinking I want Lillian to say she loves me when I have a fiancée? Is my love fading for Addison?

Lil looks back at me as I've stopped walking with her. "What?" She asks wanting to know the reasons behind my sudden halt.

I just stare at her stunning green eyes trying to see something in them they may reciprocate my thought. I want Lily to love me because I know I'm falling for her.

I attempt to push those emotions to the side for now. Lillian needs me to be here for her. She needs a friend not some shmuck whose going to fly down here to date her because it's a thousand miles away from his fiancée.

"Nothing. Sorry," I say making an effort to give her a reassuring smile. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I’m pretty hungry though."

"It's settled then. We're going to eat and we can talk over food." I look to see she has everything she needs but notice she's missing her one essential item. "You don't have your camera?"

"No need for it here," she replies sheepishly.

"Would you like to go and get it?"

I know the camera makes her feel more comfortable. It gives her a distraction, but maybe she won't need it anymore. Lily's eyes wander and look anywhere but at me.

"No. I would like to tell you something though...while we eat."

"It doesn't include stabbing me or any other bodily harm because I flew here does it?" She laughs at my joke, and I feel better already. Our tension has subsided, and we're back to the playfulness.

"No, but there's this place I think you'll like. It's called Yeoman's. It's a little pub with great beer and excellent food. Plus, it's not far from here. We can walk if you like."

"You know how I love to walk and talk with you. Please, lead the way," I say extending my hand out in front of me. Surprisingly, instead of walking ahead of me, she grabs my hand and we walk side by side. It's such a small act, so I let her lead me out into the sunshine down the sidewalk towards Yeoman's.

******

"What do ya think?"

I roam my gaze around the pub. Black and white checkered floor, neon and lighted beer signs by mirrors with beer logos, red and blue booths positioned parallel to the wood bar, flags hanging from the black ceiling, and on the left wall is the best of all...the Wall of Foam.

"I think this is one of the best places you've brought me to so far. I must ask though. What is the Wall of Foam?"

It looks awesome. It's a wall made of rectangular plaques of all colors and designs with people's names on them. Gotta be some type of contest or something. You know those places that have the eat a 10lb hamburger, 2lbs of fries, and a gallon milkshake in an hour or whatever? Yeah, but it's not a simple Polaroid shot. Some plaques have wallet size pictures while others have feathers, glitter, small guitars, nails, beer caps, or other small trinkets showing off the name on the plaque.

"I've never tried it, but I know people who have. It's a challenge for the patron to try 90 different beers in 90 days. So, a new beer a day for 90 days. You do it, and voilà...your name's on the wall."

"Sounds fun. Although I would love to come here for three months and drink a different beer a day, my company would frown upon that. How about we both try something we've never had before?"

"Sounds good. Pick your poison, Mr. Knight."

I peruse the beer list with avid curiosity. Some of these I've heard of in my travels, whereas others I haven't, but the name makes me want to try them. Come on. Who wouldn't wanna try Haze and Infused, Delirium Nocturnum, Loose Cannon, Old Chub, Purple Haze, or SkullSplitter Orkney Ale? Okay, maybe not such much the Old Chub, but the others sound interesting.

"I'll take the Delirium Nocturnum," Lil states pulling me away from the beer menu.

"Let me guess. You picked the only beer with chocolate in it." I joke.

"I’m serious about my chocolate," She replies with the straightest of faces. "And it's not the only one with chocolate. Look." She points to her beer choice then to the others with hints of chocolate.

"Why not the Young’s Double Chocolate Stout?" I question.

"I'm trying something
different
, remember?" Lil returns with a smirk. "You can try that though. If you don't like it, I can always take it off your hands. It's quite good."

"I'll take your word for it. It's a toss-up between a Turbodog or a Hercules Double IPA. Have you had either?"

"Well, obviously, the Turbodog has a chocolate undertone, so yes, I've tried that one. I haven't had the other."

"Then I'll get the Hercules Double IPA, and you can taste a new beer."

"And I suppose you want to taste mine?"

Even though in that moment I know she was talking about the beer. I wasn't. I wanted so bad to taste her lips."That's a given."

A few minutes later, the waitress comes by to take our beer and food order. I order the Manchester burger while Lil orders the Island burger. When our beer arrives, we laugh and try the other's beer. They were both pretty good, but her chocolate addiction won saying hers was definitely better.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me?" I ask after our food is delivered.

"Another time maybe. Things are good," She replies taking a bite out of her fry.

"Lil, you wanted to tell me something. Please. You can trust me."

She wipes her lips with her napkin and swallows her food. I hope she can open up some. I want to know all I can about her. Even though she shields her past from me, I know there are things in it that have affected who she is.

She seems uneasy to talk to me. I don't know if that's because I wasn't completely honest before or because she really is scared to tell me this part of her past. Before I start to tell her it's okay if she can't talk to me about it, her sweet voice begins.

"I was just going to tell you about the last day I was here, but I don't want to drag this day through the mud with something depressing."

Depressing? I know she's been in New York for a couple months, but I don't think she's ever told me the exact day she moved. Her explanations have always been vague when she spoke of the period of time after I left.

"Have you told anyone about it?" I question.

"Well, some people already know, but no one in New York does."

"Then, I would love for you to tell me," I reply putting my hand over hers on the table. "What happened the last day you were here?"

She takes a deep breath and gazes at my hand over hers. Without looking up, she asks me, "Remember the day you told me about over-drinking in your office?"

Cocking my head to the side, I stare at her. There is only one day that I've ever gone above and beyond my alcohol limit and it just so happens that was the day in my office. "Your wedding day? That was your last day here?" I ask in disbelief.

Lil nods and turns her palm up to wrap her delicate fingers around my hand keeping her eyes fixed on her movements. I turn our hands so I can start to run my thumb along her knuckles.