Don't Let Me Go (43 page)

‘Not really,’ Anthony told her, ‘because, as your lawyer and their part-time lodger, I’m also a bit of a problem.’

‘So we decided,’ Ron continued, ‘that for the time being we’d take ourselves off the register and carry on enjoying having Anthony – and you – as our guests.’

Charlotte hardly knew what to say. While on the one hand she couldn’t be anything but relieved – even honoured – to have Maggie and Ron’s support, to think of the needy children who were missing out on their care –
because of her
– was absolutely mortifying. This wasn’t what she was about at all, depriving kids of one of the best foster families in the region. These defenceless, powerless little individuals, some of them so badly neglected, even damaged, that they were close to breaking, had to come first.

‘We can discuss it later,’ Anthony said, as though sensing an explosion, ‘but try to bear in mind that you matter too.’

‘Hear, hear,’ Tommy declared, holding up his glass. ‘You can’t rule the world, much as I know you’d like to, and in this instance I think you have to accept that your needs count as much as the kids’, especially when your goal is to get Chloe back.’

Unable to be anything but silenced by that, Charlotte dropped her eyes to her plate as she took in this new status of hers, the needy, care-depriving ex-social worker who was throwing everyone else’s lives out of kilter. Yet Tommy was right, she had to put Chloe first – and be thankful for the way she was being helped to do so.

Steering them out of stormy waters, Anthony began extolling the virtues of the excellent Shiraz he’d chosen, while Maggie rolled her eyes and Ron insisted the next bottle, of his choosing, would be far superior. Tommy soon joined in, and by the time the subject changed again, to what options he was considering up north, Charlotte was back in the conversation.

‘So when do you think you might make your next trip to Kesterly?’ Ron was asking Tommy as the dessert menu arrived.

Tommy glanced at Anthony and Charlotte. ‘I guess that depends on these guys,’ he replied. ‘Do we have a start date yet for the trial?’

As Charlotte’s insides lurched, Anthony said, ‘The papers are being served the Friday after next, then we’ll have the Plea and Case Management hearing, and I’m hoping the trial will begin no more than a month after that.’

Signalling for a waiter, Tommy said, ‘Well, whenever it is, I’ll be there, you don’t want to worry about that.’

‘You’ll always have a place to stay with us if you need it,’ Maggie informed him as Anthony got up to sort out the bill before anyone else could. ‘So, who’d like to come back for a nightcap?’ Maggie asked, once they were outside. Realising what she’d said as soon as the words left her lips, she looked at Charlotte in dismay.

‘Don’t worry,’ Charlotte told her. ‘I don’t mind. I’d like to call Mum anyway.’ She was feeling foolish for it, but right now, with the prospect of saying goodbye to Tommy on such a close horizon, she’d have given almost anything for her mother to be there when she got home. It seemed so long since she’d seen her, and being as emotionally frayed as she was at the moment, she really needed to be with her.

‘Now, I’m not going to make a big deal out of this,’ Tommy said to Charlotte when they were outside on the cobbled street. ‘I’ll be seeing you again in a few weeks, and I’ll be at the end of the phone or Skype any time you want to chat. So come on, be giving us a nice big hug and none of your sentimental stuff.’

‘Me! Sentimental!’ she protested with a tearful laugh. ‘And I thought you knew me.’

Wrapping her up in his arms, he gave her the longest, most affectionate hug he could muster. ‘You’re going to be all right,’ he told her gruffly. ‘And so’s Chloe. She’s in good hands, not as good as yours, it’s true, but I’ve got plenty of faith in Tracy so I know if something wasn’t right, she’d take care of it in a heartbeat.’

It was long past bedtime, but Chloe was running frantically around Carrie’s house searching for Boots. Carrie had hidden him and wouldn’t tell her where. All she did was watch and let her know whether she was hot or cold, or tell her to stop worrying because she’d definitely find him in the end.

Running back into the sitting room, sweat dampening her hair and real fear shining in her eyes, Chloe began tearing at the cushions again, throwing them on to the floor, and stuffing her hands into the back of the sofa and chairs. Still not finding him she turned to Carrie, tears of desperation falling on to her cheeks.

Carrie lifted her eyes.

Chloe didn’t understand. She hadn’t been naughty, so why was Carrie doing this?

Carrie lifted her eyes again, and this time, realising Carrie was encouraging her to look up, Chloe did so, and gave a gasp when she saw Boots sitting right on the top of a bookcase amongst Carrie’s fluffy animals.

‘There you are, I told you you’d find him,’ Carrie smiled proudly. ‘Now all you have to do is say, “Please may I have Boots?”’

Without any hesitation Chloe whispered, ‘Please may I have Boots?’

Clapping her hands in praise, Carrie said, ‘You see, you can speak, and it really wasn’t so difficult, was it?’

Chloe looked at her beseechingly.

‘All right, all right,’ Carrie chuckled. ‘I’ll fetch him down now and then we can go up to bed and have a little chat.’

Chloe was still panting for breath as she watched Carrie prop a ladder against the shelves and start to climb. Her arms went up ready to catch Boots in case he fell.

‘There we are,’ Carrie declared, passing him down to her. ‘Ah, ah, don’t snatch now, there’s a good girl.’

Chloe quickly pulled back her hands. Her eyes were fixed on Boots. She wanted him so much it was hurting.

She didn’t notice the ladder starting to slide, barely even registered Carrie scrabbling for a hold; she only saw Boots falling towards her, and catching him she hugged him tightly. Then a book hit her, and another and another. Carrie screamed, and as she and the ladder crashed to the floor Chloe pressed her face even harder into Boots.

It was almost the curfew hour by the time Charlotte and Anthony arrived at her front door, the salted night air clinging to their clothes, the thump of disco beats leaping from arcades and wine bars still ringing in their ears.

‘Oh no,’ she gasped, turning to him, having realised what she’d forgotten.

He was already holding up the keys. ‘Are you going to be all right?’ he asked.

She nodded awkwardly.
Oh God, she was going to start crying. What was the matter with her tonight?

Tilting her chin up, he said, ‘If you invited me in, I’d accept.’

With a mangled sort of laugh, she turned to open the door and led the way up to the first floor. ‘I’m afraid I don’t have any brandy, or whisky,’ she told him, ‘but I can offer you more wine.’

‘I have to drive,’ he reminded her. ‘So coffee will be fine.’

A few minutes later she carried two cups through to the sitting room, to find him standing at the window gazing absently at the distant lights of a ship heading along the estuary for the docks at Avonmouth.

‘Thanks,’ he said. Then after taking a sip, ‘I had some news today that I think I should share with you.’

As her insides turned to liquid all kinds of horror struck through her mind. Something had happened to Chloe. They were going to revoke her bail. Extra charges were being heaped on her.

‘Don’t look so scared,’ he said gently, ‘it’s not that bad, I promise. It’s just that I’ve been trying to get your case thrown out on the grounds that there was no malicious intent involved, or family being deprived of their child, in that the father has lost all rights to custody.’ He sighed. ‘It was always a long shot,’ he admitted, ‘and I’m afraid it failed.’

She took a breath as she nodded. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come.

Taking her coffee he put it on the table and folded her into his arms. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered into her hair. ‘I wish it could have been better news, but we’ve still got a long way to go, so there’s absolutely no reason to give up hope yet.’

She still couldn’t speak. She was sobbing too hard and couldn’t make herself stop.

‘It’s good to let it out,’ he told her softly. ‘You’ve been holding back all night, I could tell. It was seeing the little girl, wasn’t it?’

‘Yes,’ she spluttered, ‘and saying goodbye to Tommy and . . . Oh God, I’m sorry . . .’

‘Sssh, don’t apologise.’ He cupped her face in his hands and gazed down into her eyes.

As she looked back at him she could feel the need for him tangling her emotions and starting to overwhelm her. What was he thinking? Was he feeling anything of the sensations that were coursing through her? Please God, don’t let her do or say something to disgrace herself even more than she already had. But she wanted him so much, so very, very much . . .

It seemed to take an eternity for the space to close between them, for his mouth to cover hers. She couldn’t even be sure it was really happening, or if she was dreaming, until he pulled her against him and as his tenderness and desire fused with her own, nothing else seemed to matter quite so much any more.

Chapter Twenty-One

‘
SO WHERE IS
she now?’ Tracy demanded, her face flushing dark with frustration.

‘Who? Chloe or Carrie?’ Wendy replied, not bothering to glance up from her computer.

‘
Chloe!
’ Tracy cried. ‘And Carrie. But Chloe.’

Clicking to open another email, Wendy said, ‘I’m still waiting to hear. All I can tell you is that no one knew who she was when they got to the house last night, she wouldn’t tell anyone her name, so the police, naturally, handed her over to the local social services.’

‘And you’ve already spoken to someone there?’ Tracy persisted.

‘It’s Saturday, I’m having some difficulty getting through to them, but I’m sure someone will call me back soon.’

‘So how do you know Carrie Jones had an accident?’

‘Because Carrie herself rang from the hospital this morning, wanting to make sure the child was all right.’

‘Why didn’t she ring me?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t have your number with her. Anyway, she told me what had happened, so I contacted the local police, who referred me to West Somerset.’

It was making sense so far, kind of. ‘So what did happen to Carrie?’ Tracy asked.

‘Apparently she fell off a ladder. Her right shoulder is broken and the wrist badly sprained, which means, of course, that she’s completely unable to take care of a child.’

‘So she’s in emergency care? Does everyone realise who she is, how sensitively this has to be handled?’

‘How can I possibly answer that until I’ve spoken to someone?’ Wendy snapped. ‘And she’s no more special a case than any of our other children.’

‘So the answer’s no, no one does know, which means the poor little mite could be somewhere totally unsuitable with people who have no idea what she’s been through, or how to cope with her issues.’

‘Carers aren’t just selected at random,’ Wendy reminded her sharply. ‘Now, if you don’t mind . . .’

‘They are when it’s an emergency,’ Tracy interrupted. ‘Did Carrie give you a number? Which hospital is she in?’

‘The Weston General, and her number’s there, on that pad.’

Quickly jotting it down, Tracy said, ‘If you like, I’ll chase up West Somerset myself to try and find out where Chloe is.’

Going to dump her bags on the nearest empty desk, Tracy picked up the phone. ‘Carrie, it’s Tracy Barrall. I’m sorry to hear about your accident,’ she said as soon as Carrie answered.

‘Not as sorry as I am,’ Carrie groaned weakly. ‘I should have made sure the ladder was anchored properly. Just lucky I didn’t come down on top of little Chloe, that’s all I can say. Do you know how, or where she is yet?’

‘I’m about to try and find out. What happened after the fall? Who called the ambulance?’

With a tired sort of chuckle, Carrie said, ‘Would you believe, Chloe did it? I had to tell her what to do, of course, but she picked up the phone, good as gold, and dialled 999. She even whispered ambulance, but I don’t think they heard so I shouted it as best I could and next thing I knew, well, about ten minutes later, it was like a circus in my house. Police, ambulance, even the fire brigade came, I suppose in case I was trapped. Anyway, they shipped me off to the General and I’m guessing one of the coppers stayed with Chloe until social services turned up.’

‘Why on earth didn’t you give them my number? I’d have come straight away.’

‘Oh, Tracy, I was in that much pain . . . I only thought of it after. She’ll be all right though, won’t she? I mean, the police know what to do in these situations.’

‘Yes, of course, I’d just like to know where she is. Do you have the name of the social worker . . . No, because you didn’t see anyone. What about the police? Did you get any of their names?’

‘No, I’m afraid not, but if you ring up they’re bound to know who came.’

‘Of course. I’ll do it now.’

‘Please let me know how you get on,’ Carrie insisted as Tracy started to hang up.

‘I will,’ Tracy promised, and turning on the computer she quickly downloaded the details of West Somerset Council and Avon and Somerset Police.

Charlotte was lying on her side, gazing at Anthony’s face as he slept. He looked so peaceful, so at ease with his surroundings, if he even knew where he was given how deeply he was breathing. Beneath the white cotton sheet he was as naked as she was. She wondered if, like her, he would feel a bruising ache in his muscles when he woke up.

Simply to think of the way he’d made love to her, so tenderly and yet with such passion, caused her heart to catch and more desire to shoot sharply through her. She wanted to feel him covering her body again, pressing the length of his legs over hers, pushing between them and sliding slowly, exquisitely into her. No one had ever brought her to a climax before, but he had, repeatedly through the night, making her cry out and cling to him in helpless ecstasy while his own release shuddered silently, explosively between them.

She wondered how it was going to be when he woke up and remembered where he was, and what had happened. Would he regret it, feel angry with himself for taking such an impulsive and fateful step?