Don't Ask Alice (12 page)

L
inda, Rosie and I had yummy pizza for lunch. I ate four
huge
slices, and then stopped, as I felt like my belly was going to burst open, spraying the whole room with pineapple and pepperoni and cheese and tomato sauce.

‘Mum never lets us have pizza,' I said, now that it was too late for Linda to do anything about it.

‘I know,' said Linda, wiping tomato sauce from her mouth. ‘That's why I decided to have it today.'

I sighed.

‘Mum is so obsessed with healthy food. It's totally pathetic. I wish she could be a bit more like you.'

Linda smiled across the table at me.

‘She only does what she thinks is best for you. It's easy for me. I hardly ever see you, so I can relax and spoil you a bit. Your mum can't do that.'

‘Yeah, but if you were my mum, what would you do?'

Linda smiled again.

‘Sorry, Megan. I'd probably be just like your mum. I'd fill you up with healthy food, until you were begging for mercy.'

That made me feel a bit better, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe it was the thought that Mum isn't such a freak after all.

Just then the doorbell rang.

‘I'll get it,' I said, as I ran into the hall. ‘It's probably Alice.'

I opened the door and was very surprised to see Alice's dad there, holding a large cardboard
box with a ribbon on it. I felt like closing the door in his face.

What was he doing here?

I thought Linda ‘wasn't his type'.

Did he really think she would be interested in him just because he brought her a big present?

I felt sorry for him, but that didn't mean I wanted him hanging around my house, making my life even more complicated.

‘I'll get Linda,' I said.

Peter put his hand up.

‘No. Don't, Megan. It's you I want to see.'

I backed away a bit.

Why did Peter want to see me?

Did he think the whole romantic date thing was my idea?

Was he going to tell me to stay away from Alice for the rest of my life?

How unfair would that be?

Peter held the box towards me.

‘This is for you,' he said.

I took the box, and stood there holding it, not
knowing what to do next.

Peter smiled.

‘You can open it, if you like,' he said.

So I carefully balanced the box in one hand and used the other to pull off the ribbon. I opened the lid and looked inside the box. Inside was a crystal vase.

‘I think it's the same as the one that got broken last night,' said Peter proudly. ‘I spent ages trying to find the exact one. You see, Alice—'

I interrupted him.

‘But I'm the one who broke the vase,' I said. ‘Not Alice.'

Peter raised his eyebrows.

‘OK, so you were the one holding the champagne bottle at the time, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the whole sorry mess was Alice's idea.'

He was right, of course, but I felt I ought to try to defend my friend.

‘It wasn't just Alice,' I said. ‘I helped too. I––'

Peter put up his hand to interrupt me.

‘It's OK, Megan,' he said. ‘Whatever you did, I'm sure Alice did ten times more. And she's not in trouble, so you don't have to protect her.'

I gave a small sigh. Since no one was in trouble, it was probably better not to say any more. And besides, having the vase would save me an awful lot of explaining when Mum and Dad got home.

Peter took the box from me again.

‘I'll take away the packaging, and you just take the vase, and put it back where the old one used to be, and no-one will ever know the difference.' I carefully lifted the vase from the box. Inside it was a brown note – fifty euro.

‘Look,' I said. ‘You left this inside by mistake.'

Peter shook his head.

‘That's not a mistake. That's just a little something for you. Buy yourself something nice with it.'

Fifty euro. I closed my eyes and thought of all the cool things I could buy. Maybe Mum would
let me go to town with Alice after school one day. We could go for hot chocolate. I could buy new clothes, and Alice could help me pick them out. I'd even have enough to buy something for Alice too. We could have such fun. I opened my eyes and looked at Peter again.

‘But why…….?' I began.

Peter smiled at me.

‘Alice has had a very hard time of it these past few months, but you've stood by her all the way. I know she can be difficult, but you've stayed with her no matter what. She's a lucky girl to have a friend like you.'

I didn't know what to say to this, so I said nothing. I folded up the money and put it into my pocket. I was embarrassed, and Peter looked like he was going to cry.

He turned away.

‘I'll be off so,' he said.

‘Good-bye, and thanks,' I said, but I don't think he heard me.

L
inda and I spent ages hiding the evidence of all the rules we had broken over the weekend.

We went to the recycling centre and got rid of all the pizza packages and the Coke bottles and the packets from the brightly-coloured cereals. When we got back we tidied every inch of the house. I put the new vase up on the cabinet, where the old one used to be. When everything
was done, Linda took Mum's list of rules and put it back on the kitchen table. She smiled at me.

‘Remember, Megan,' she said. ‘Your Mum makes these rules for your benefit.'

‘So why did you let me disobey them all?' I asked.

She shrugged.

‘Oh well, we all need a break now and then. Sometimes it's good to live a little.'

‘Linda,' I said suddenly. ‘Are you going to tell Mum about last night – about the dinner, and Peter coming over for a date and all that stuff?'

Linda didn't answer for a minute, and I started to feel a bit scared. I should have known adults always back each other up in the end. It's like they have some secret pact they won't let us kids in on.

‘Well,' said Linda eventually. ‘Are you going to tell your mum about my new friend in Dublin?'

I shook my head, and Linda came over and hugged me.

‘That's my girl,' she said. ‘You won't tell and I
won't tell. Let's call it quits.'

Half an hour later, I heard a car outside in the driveway.

Seconds later Mum raced into the house like she was being chased by a pack of mad dogs. She grabbed Rosie and hugged her so tightly I was sure Rosie wouldn't be able to breathe. Then she showered her with huge sloppy kisses.

‘My little baby,' she said. ‘My poor, sweet, little baby. Did you miss Mummy and Daddy?'

Rosie didn't answer – she was too busy struggling to breathe. I smiled to myself. I was sure Rosie hadn't missed Mum and Dad one tiny bit – she'd been having too much fun, watching TV and eating foods she wasn't usually allowed.

Finally Mum released Rosie, and came rushing over to me. Luckily I was ready for her, so I managed to escape after only one hug and five or six noisy kisses.

‘Well, Megan,' she said as I wriggled away. ‘How was your weekend? Did you behave
yourself for Linda?'

I could feel my face going red, and I looked at Linda.

Linda smiled at me.

‘Don't worry,' she told Mum. ‘Megan is a great girl, and she was as good as gold all the time you were gone.'

Mum smiled too.

‘I'm glad to hear it,' she said.

Just then Dad came in carrying what looked like enough camping stuff to keep a very large army going for about six months. His face was pale, his hair was greasy and he looked like he hadn't slept for the whole weekend.

‘Hi girls,' he said. ‘Where's my bed? Show me my bed, and I'll lie in it for the rest of the day.'

Linda laughed.

‘Didn't you sleep well in Galway?'

Dad shook his head.

‘Fat chance,' he said. ‘Have you ever tried sleeping on a bed of rocks? Trust me, it's not comfortable. And I haven't had a shower since I
left here. I—'

Mum interrupted him.

‘That's your own fault,' she said. ‘There was a shower there.'

Dad gave a scary kind of laugh.

‘Yeah,' he said. ‘One shower, between hundreds of people. And it was cold. In my opinion, that's taking concern for the environment one step too far. Anyway, I've made up my mind – I'm never, ever, ever going camping again. I'm too old for that kind of stuff.'

Mum gave him a playful push.

‘You're nothing but a big softy,' she said. ‘And I've got some bad news for you. We're going to the Foggy Mountain festival every year from now on. It's going to be my annual treat.'

Dad went even paler. ‘But the children… .'

Linda interrupted.

‘Don't worry. I'll mind Rosie and Megan. Same time next year. We're looking forward to it already, aren't we girls?'

I grabbed Rosie and we danced around the kitchen. Luckily Mum didn't stop to wonder why we were so happy – she was too busy rummaging in her handbag.

‘Look girls,' she said. ‘I brought you back some treats. Who'd like some organic breadsticks?'

I sighed. It looked like the party was over.

Mum asked Linda to stay for tea, but for some reason Linda didn't seem tempted by the lentil stew and spinach that Mum was offering.

‘Thanks, Sheila,' she said. ‘But no thanks. I need to get back. I'm meeting … well, I'm busy.'

As she spoke, she gave me a big wink. I winked back, grinning to myself.

In spite of Alice's crazy plan, it had been a great weekend.

A
few weeks later, Alice came up with a very elaborate plan for a trick we could play on Melissa. It involved lots of phone calls, secret meetings, bags of flour, and water balloons. It was quite a good plan actually (considering Alice had come up with it), but we never got around to carrying it out. We never seemed to find the time.

You see, by this time, we were all getting very excited about going to secondary school. Most of the class were going to move on to the school that was just up the road from our primary
school. The twins, Ellen and Emma, were repeating sixth class, and Melissa was going to go to a posh boarding school in Dublin.

At the beginning of the year, Melissa used to bore us all to death bragging about how fancy her new school was going to be.

‘All the famous people send their kids there,' she used to say. ‘Pop-stars, actors – everyone who matters really. It's
so
expensive, ordinary people just can't afford it. And it's got this totally fantastic swimming pool. We get to use it every day after school, so I'm glad I've been going to swimming lessons since I was three. At Easter we all get to go to France on an exchange trip, and we …'

On and on and on she went every day until we all felt like we'd throw up if we heard one more word about it.

Now, as the summer holidays approached, Melissa began to talk less and less about her fancy boarding school.

Alice was the first to notice. She mentioned it
one day at break-time.

‘Anyone hear anything lately about the best boarding school in Ireland?' she asked.

Grace, Louise and I shook our heads.

‘Melissa hasn't said anything about it in
weeks
,' said Grace. ‘I wonder why?'

‘I bet she's sorry now,' said Alice.

‘But why?' asked Louise. ‘According to Melissa, that school is the greatest place since Malory Towers.'

Alice shrugged.

‘I'm not exactly an expert on what makes Melissa tick, but my guess is, she's nervous about going somewhere new on her own. I bet she wishes she was moving on to the local school in September, just like the rest of us.'

I shook my head.

‘No way. It's probably just that she thinks she's too good for the rest of us now.'

I was wrong though.

A few days later, I went into the toilets at lunchtime and found Melissa sitting on the floor
sobbing. Even though it was Melissa, my worst enemy in the whole world, I couldn't just walk away, pretending I hadn't seen her. Before I knew what I was doing, I went over to her and asked,

‘What's wrong?', almost like I really cared.

At first Melissa didn't answer, and I felt a bit stupid for even thinking that she might be human. I decided that maybe she had broken one of her precious fingernails, or perhaps she'd found a split-end in her beautiful golden hair.

Then Melissa looked up at me, and her face was all pale and crumpled-up looking.

‘I'm so afraid,' she said.

‘Of what?' I asked. I'd always thought that mean people like Melissa were never afraid of anything.

‘Of going away to boarding school,' sobbed Melissa.

At first I didn't know what to say. I had a funny feeling that if I was the one crying, Melissa would have run outside to tell all her
friends and have a good laugh at how pathetic I was. I couldn't do that to her, though. For the first time ever, I actually felt a little bit sorry for her.

I sat down beside Melissa, because it seemed like the right thing to do. I thought about putting my hand on her shoulder, but that seemed a bit too much, so I put it into my pocket instead.

‘But you wanted to go to boarding school,' I said. ‘You told everyone that you begged your parents to let you go.'

Melissa sobbed even harder.

‘I know I did. But now I've changed my mind, and my parents say I have to go anyway. They've paid the deposit, and booked me in, and so I have to go. And I'm going to be so lonely there. All my friends will be having
soooo
much fun here together, and I'm going to be far away, on my own.'

‘But you'll make new friends.'

I wondered if this was true. Melissa did have
friends in our class, but every year she seemed to have fewer friends than the year before. Once even Grace and Louise used to be part of her gang, but now they couldn't stand her. And maybe in secondary school, there wouldn't be so many girls who would be fooled by Melissa's fancy clothes and her pretty face. Maybe they would be clever enough to see right through her to the mean person inside.

Maybe there was a way of telling Melissa to be a nicer person, without hurting her feelings, but I couldn't think of the right words. So I just stood up, and spoke quickly like Mum does when she's trying to distract Rosie after a fall.

‘Come on,' I said. ‘You should wash your face before anyone else comes in. And don't worry. September is ages away. When the time comes, you'll be so excited about the pool, and the hockey pitch with the super-modern surface, you'll soon forget all about us.'

Melissa stood up slowly, and fixed her hair. I pulled a hard, bleach-free, recycled tissue from
my pocket. I held it in my hand for a second, knowing that Melissa was only used to pretty, pink, scented tissues.

Would she take the opportunity to mock me, one more time?

Suddenly I realised I didn't care whether Melissa mocked me or not. I wondered why I used to be so afraid of her, always worried about what she'd think about me and my family. Why did her opinion matter so much?

I held the tissue towards her.

‘Here,' I said. ‘Use this.'

Melissa hesitated for just one second, then she took the tissue, and used it to wipe her eyes. Then she washed her face and followed me outside.

‘Thanks, Megan,' she whispered. ‘You've been really nice.'

I shrugged.

‘It's OK,' I said.

Melissa began to walk slowly over to her friends. As she got closer to them, she began to
walk faster, in her usual confident way, and by the time she reached them, she was tossing her hair, just like everything in her world was perfect.

I couldn't wait to find Alice, so I could tell her what had happened.

‘Hmm,' she said when I'd finished my story. ‘Sounds like our Melissa is human after all.'

I laughed.

‘Who would have thought it?' I said.

Alice laughed too, then she stopped and put her hand over her mouth.

‘Maybe we shouldn't laugh at her. Sounds like the poor thing was really upset.'

I nodded.

‘She was.'

‘And maybe it's not her fault that she's so horrible all the time. Maybe her parents never taught her how to be nice.'

I nodded again.

‘Yeah, maybe she can't help herself.'

Then I had a really horrible thought.

‘Does this mean we have to like Melissa from now on?' I asked.

Alice thought for a minute, then she shook her head.

‘Nah. Liking Melissa is a bit too hard. How 'bout we just don't hate her as much any more?'

I grinned.

‘That sounds just about right. Now let's go.

There's only five minutes of lunchtime left, and remember Miss O'Herlihy has promised us a maths test. It's long division, your favourite.'

‘Yuck,' groaned Alice. ‘I can't wait for the summer holidays.'