Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (35 page)

Fire cupping
isn’t really any different from any other kind of heat-based cupping procedure,
except for the fact that it is much more efficient at heating
the air inside
the cup
without significantly heating
the cup itself. 
A
hot
cup on your skin
can introduce an element of
pain
to a procedure
which is usually not associated with being a painful activity.  It’s
somewhat ironic that the introduction of
flame
to the cupping procedure
makes it more
frightening
to some, while simultaneously making it
safer
and less painful
than placing hot cups on the skin.

When performing fire cupping, the Top simply swabs
the interior of the cup with a flammable liquid, tips the cup edge on the subject’s
skin, ignites the cup interior with a spark igniter, long-tipped lighter, or
violet wand, and immediately seals the cup to the skin.  The best type of
swab to use is usually an extra-large cotton swab on a wooden stick, similar in
appearance to a Q-tip, but several times larger.  These can be purchased
in any medical supply store, many pharmacies, or online.  You can also
easily improvise a swab by putting a cotton ball or make-up removal pad into a
long pair of tension tweezers or locked medical hemostat.  The swab is
actually more important than one might think, at first blush.  The ability
to
control
the amount of flammable liquid used to coat the cup interior
is critical.  Too much, and it could drip onto your subject’s skin and
perhaps even ignite any oils that may be there.  Too little, and cup
interior won’t ignite
at all.

The flammable fluids used most commonly in fire
cupping are isopropyl alcohol and mentholated oil.  Isopropyl alcohol is
sold in varying proofs, so you’ll want to ensure that the rubbing alcohol you
purchase is at least 91% strength; anything lower will not burn. 
Mentholated oils are sold in Asian pharmacies and online for use in cupping,
acupuncture, coin-striping, and other therapeutic procedures.  Some of the
advantages of using mentholated oil are: its cooling effects on the skin, it is
less harsh on the skin, and many people find the scent soothing.  The
disadvantages are: it’s harder to find, not as affordable to purchase, and
not
everyone
likes the scent of eucalyptus.

The cups used in fire cupping (or
any
sort of
cupping, really) don’t have to be particularly special in any way, other than
being
structurally sound
and without any
sharp edges.
  The
size should allow for a good-sized ball of flesh to be drawn into it, but is
mostly a matter of personal preference.  The average size is about the
size of a standard juice glass or what a bartender calls a
“rocks”
glass. 
The glasses that are specifically produced for cupping are
often distinguishable by their rounded bottoms, indicating that they aren’t
meant to sit on anything but their
open end
.  In cupping, as in so
many other things,
round bottoms are a good thing.

The third method of cupping involves
mechanical
suction. 
Cupping sets which are specifically designed for mechanical
suction are typically comprised of glass or plastic cups of various sizes and
styles, each with a tiny one-way air valve at its top, and a vacuum gun, which
usually resembles a large toy squirt gun.  The difference is, instead of
being designed like a squirt gun to
shoot water out
of its barrel, the
vacuum gun is designed to
suck air into its barrel
with each squeeze of
the trigger.  The barrel of the vacuum gun is placed on the tiny valve at
the top of each cup, and the air is swiftly sucked out of the cup with a few
quick squeezes of the trigger. 

The advantages of using a vacuum gun for cupping
are: no need for flammable liquids and swabs, there’s no risk of a mishap or
injury due to flame, and some sets come with cup inserts that have specialized
functions, such as poking or imprinting the skin or serving as electrodes for
electrical play.  The disadvantages are: lost or broken cups may be
difficult to replace, malfunctioning air valves are usually impossible to
repair, and the rubber seals for the valves deteriorate over time.

Once in place, the cups can be left on the subject’s
back for up to thirty minutes, depending on the circumstances, the appearance
and resilience of the subject’s skin, and his or her comfort level. 
Cupping should not
necessarily
be a painful experience, so if your
subject reports unintended pain, that should be interpreted as a sign that
something
is not right. 

For the benefit of our
masochist
friends
,
there are
plenty
of ways that cupping
can
be done in ways that
are
painful.  Cups can be placed on a
dry
back and then
mercilessly
twisted
to create some incredibly intense sensations.  Cups on an
oiled
back can be moved in ways that can be uncomfortable or even painful.  Cup
inserts
specifically designed for use with violet wands or other
electrical devices can add a whole new dimension of sensations to the cupping
experience, to include painful ones, if desired.  Cupping can also easily
be combined with other types of BDSM play, such as bondage, suspensions, CBT,
sensory deprivation, or even impact play. 

Cupping is a relatively safe activity to engage in,
as long as common sense is employed.  When flammable liquids are being
used, the container should be secured in a location that precludes it from
being knocked over or spilled.  When the swab is being used to coat the
interior of the cup, a minimal amount of fluid should be used.  If the
fluid can drip from the cup when it is inverted,
you’re using too much.
 
A drop of flaming fluid falling onto a person’s oil slathered back could easily
ruin his or her entire week.

It’s usually a good idea to apply a few test cups
prior to a full treatment in order to gauge how well the subject’s skin
tolerates cupping.  Most people will have no problems, whatsoever. 
In rare cases, some people may have very fragile or thin skin that isn’t
suitable for cupping.  Cupping should not be done on the neck, face, or
directly atop the spine.

Cupping should be avoided by people with infectious
skin disorders, heart disease, circulation problems, blood clots, history of
stroke, autoimmune disorders, or who are unusually susceptible to
bruising.   There is always a possibility of breaks in the skin;
therefore, your subject should be asked about any blood-borne disease or
infection, and proper precautions should be taken regarding contact with blood.

Some cupping practitioners strongly recommend that a
subject should be well-hydrated at least several hours prior to a cupping
session to ensure that there are enough fluids in the body to facilitate the
proper circulation of blood and the body’s ability to handle capillary
ruptures, bruising and minor clotting that can occur during and after the
procedure.

Knife Play

Knife or blade play is one of those activities which
could properly be placed in a number of different categories of fetish play;
however, after giving it a great deal of thought, I have decided - at least for
the purposes of this chapter - to categorize it as a form of
sensation play.
 
After all, it is not just the sensation of a blade against the skin that makes
knife play so interesting, but the associated
sensation of fear. 
Knife
play typically involves various kinds of knives, daggers, razors, swords,
cutters, shears, and scissors.  

Knife play scenes can consist of blades being used
to create fear, shave pubic or body hair, cut or scrape the skin, cut away
clothing, scrape hardened wax off the skin, or to
poke
the
subject.  Blades may range in sharpness from very dull to razor sharp, and
sometimes two identical blades (one sharp, the other dull) are used to first
create the impression of a dangerously sharp instrument before switching to the
dull blade in subsequent play to reduce the risk of injury.  The critical
ingredient in any knife play is always the psychological aspect of the
scene.  The proper cultivation and exploitation of anticipation,
intimidation, anxiety, and fear is every bit as important as the blade you use,
and the manner in which you wield it.

Safety concerns regarding knife play are, as one
might imagine, a
big deal.
 Knife play is generally considered a
form of
edge play
; it pushes the boundaries of what most people consider
to be safe.  (Contrary to popular belief,
edge play
refers to the
edginess
of the play
, rather than the edge of a blade.)  The prime directive of
knife play is:
Try not to cut anyone unintentionally.
 

While accidental cuts are usually the primary fear
and focus of those engaging in knife play, cuts themselves are typically not
terribly dangerous unless you sever a major blood vessel, rupture a critical
organ, or slice something off that should have stayed where it was.  More
concerning should be the risk of serious infection to the subject from a
non-sterile blade or the risk of transmission of blood-borne disease or
infection from the subject to others, if any bleeding occurs.  To reduce
the risk of infection, the subject should shower prior to the knife play scene,
and the Top should wash his hands thoroughly with a strong antibacterial soap. 
Knife blades should be disinfected with isopropyl alcohol or hydrogen peroxide,
rather than with boiling water.  Putting a knife in boiling water can warp
the construction of the knife and will hasten the oxidation (rusting) of the
blade.

One particularly useful rule of thumb is to treat
all blades as if they are dangerously sharp.  That way, a momentary lapse
of concentration or mix up in blades won’t result in a trip to the E.R. 
 It is rarely the sharp knife that causes a mishap; it’s the
one that
you thought was dull.

Always anticipate sudden or seemingly irrational
fear reactions.  It’s always tempting to toss out the worn-out saying,
“expect
the unexpected,”
but the truth is, fear should be expected and when people
are afraid, they can do incredibly crazy things. 
You should expect
that,
and plan accordingly.  Flinching, jumping, jerking, and pitching
forward or backward may not be entirely
rational
things to do when
someone is holding a knife to your throat, but the Top should always
anticipate
it, nevertheless.  

If you do not have a
fully stocked
first aid
kit nearby, I
highly
recommend that you postpone your knife play scene
until you
do.
 And by
fully stocked
, I mean that there are
enough sterile bandages (
not band-aids,
but real cloth
bandages
) and
gauze pads to properly dress a wound with a standard first aid dressing or - in
the event of
very
heavy bleeding - a pressure bandage.   If
you
don’t
know basic first aid, I would suggest that you have absolutely
no business engaging in BDSM knife play.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t address what
is -
at least for the Top
- quite possibly the most dangerous aspect of
BDSM knife play.  Cutting your subject’s
clothing,
without first
getting permission to do so, is almost always going to end up being
hazardous
to your health.

Hot Wax

Hot wax play
isn’t just for
kinksters
anymore; it’s become increasingly
mainstream
in its appeal as both an erotic
and
artistic pastime.  Wax play
generally consists of dripping or pouring molten candle wax onto someone’s skin
to produce erotic
sensations
, for
aesthetic
purposes, or
both
. 
The types of candle wax used for erotic wax play
typically
fall into two
categories: 
paraffin
(a man-made, petroleum-based compound) and
beeswax
(which is secreted by the wax glands of worker bees).  There are many
other varieties of wax that can be used, but they all generally fall into these
two categories, differing only in the various additives that are combined with
the waxes to change its properties, such as its burn characteristics, melting
point, plasticity, or effects upon the skin.  Of those four factors, the
most important consideration for wax play should always be the wax’s
melting
point.

Pain tolerance naturally varies from person to
person but, on average, the wax will feel
hot
on the skin at around 110°
F., and
painfully hot
between 120° and 125° F.  Anything
above
that may cause second-degree burns, blistering, and perhaps even permanent
scarring.  Pure paraffin wax has an average melting point between 115° and
154° F.   Unadulterated beeswax has an average melting point of about
145° F.   Wax and candle manufacturers routinely add substances to
the wax to change its properties and some of those additives
will
raise
or lower the melting point of the wax in unpredictable ways.  For that
reason, store-bought candles can vary widely in terms of their melting
points.  Candles that come in glass jars typically have a melting point of
about 120° F.   Standalone pillar-type candles usually have a melting
point of 140° F.   Elegant taper candles of the sort that may grace
your dinner table at a fine restaurant are the most dangerous of all, with an
average melting point of 160°.  The
wild card
in all of this is the
unfortunate fact that candle manufacturers
rarely
label their products
in any way
that indicates the type of wax or additives,
much less it’s
melting point. 
That’s why most people who are serious about hot wax
play
make their own
candles; so they’ll positively
know what’s in
them.