Distractions (42 page)

life. He took the mug out of my shaking

hand and placed it on the desk before

pulling me into his arms.

I stifled the wailing so as to not

frighten anyone in the office. My sorrow

came out in deep heavy breaths. I could

feel the Doc tremble as he held me

tightly, the stormy seas of emotion

sweeping through the room.

“It’s almost over, Violet. Hold on,

don’t let go. You’re almost there. I am

here now; you are not alone anymore.”

His hushed voice washed over me,

silencing the madness that loneliness

created.

“Violet, he doesn’t know.”

Shepard.

Looking up at him confused, I was

still too shaken to understand. “Doc, he

works for you, how does he not know?”

“He knows me as Balashov. He

believes he has been tasked with

recruiting you to work for me. That’s

why you’re here, remember?” Laughing

lightly before continuing, he knew my

neural processes were not working

effectively at the moment.

“It’s a beautiful day; we need to

walk, and you need some air. Let’s go

down to the river for a while. Go into

the washroom and get cleaned up, so as

to not distress the poor man. I will tell

him I wish to take you around Bern, and

will return in a while. He will be

pleased by this. Remember, he is my

employee, not my friend. He knows

nothing – do you understand?”

Nodding in agreement, I went

through the motions of what was taking

place. The small lavatory in his office

was nothing more than a toilet and small

sink. My reflection was once again a

stranger, yet not one I feared. The

woman staring back at me was someone

I always hoped existed. She was strong,

resilient, and loved. For the first time in

a while my heart held the seed of

something long forgotten. Hope. Hope

for a future, and a life. Hope to truly be

loved and love equally in return. Hope

that the past six years of hell had been

worth it.

Shepard was standing in the seating

area outside of the office, talking to the

Doc, buoyant at the news he was

receiving. He was getting the same thing

I was: hope. His eyes sparkled as they

took me in.

“Shall we?” The Doc raised his

elbow for me to loop through.

With a smile, I gently grasped the

crook of his arm and started to walk

towards the elevator, then stopped when

I heard Shepard call after me.

“I’m right here Violet.”

Giving a nod, I turned and

continued on. I caught the slight grin of

the Doc as we stepped in. Before the

doors closed, Shepard looked at me,

silently pleading me to say yes to what I

was being offered. The Doc patted my

arm in reassurance as we started to

descend.

“Is he as strong as me?” I quietly

asked. I could only pray for his sake he

was. The thought of destroying such a

beautiful soul pierced my very being.

“He’s stronger than you know,

Violet. Why do you think I chose him?”

He chose him.

An Audi SUV waited to take us to

the Old City of Bern. We stopped in

front of the Church of the Holy Ghost

and meandered on foot down the street

past Albert Einstein’s home and the

Samson Fountain.

The city was truly breathtaking. If I

were ever to disappear, surely it would

be a place like this. My hand remained

affectionately looped through the Doc’s

elbow as I took everything in. Neither of

us had any place to be at the moment

other than here. I had so many questions,

unsure of where to start. He knew I was

struggling to grasp reality, so he began

with what he knew to be my most

pressing question.

Shepard.

“How did he become a part of all

of this? How did you find him?”

He started to chuckle at my first

inquiry, peering at me in disbelief not at

the question, but at the circumstances.

“Of course, Violet we should start

there, since that is close to the beginning.

I took an interest in him when you started

to mention him frequently. I did my

homework on the chap and realized he

was valuable. He was smart, driven, and

most of all, would have no qualms

leaving the life he had in pursuit of

something bigger.”

“Is that why you chose me?” I felt

my brows scrunch together in thought.

“Partly, but now back to Shepard. I

knew if he cared for you, he would come

to your aid. You wouldn’t be alone.”

The light bulb clicked. He saw me

starting to put the pieces together and

continued speaking.

“I could not have predicted what

happened with his father. The only thing

I could do was send help to intervene on

both your behalves.”

A soft wind started to blow,

bringing the delicate scent of the water

to my nostrils. The sun warmed my face,

as if it were illuminating the shadows of

my understanding.

“Dr. Thomas,” I replied.

Our pace had slowed considerably

once we reached the river. Deep shades

of turquoise green snaked through the tan

buildings with terracotta tiled roofs.

Lush green trees dotted the hillside

before us as large colorful flags

decorated the streets all around.

“Yes, Dr. Thomas. While you were

in recovery, she told me the first thing

you said was Shepard’s name. He was

forbidden to see you. She saw him

sitting in the waiting room, only leaving

to use the facilities or get some water.

Your sister, Vivienne, was the only one

to show him any kindness.”

I couldn’t help but begin to cry

again. I knew this, she told me not long

ago. Just like he waited then, he was

waiting now. Once again, I was going to

leave him. Doc held the small of my

back and led me to a small bench on the

side of the riverbank. He handed me a

crisp white handkerchief that made me

laugh.

“People still carry these?” I smiled

as I gently blotted my wet face.

“One never knows when it will

come in handy.” With a weighted hand,

he placed it between my shoulder

blades.

“May I continue?” he asked

I simply nodded and continued to

blot.

“In the early hours of the morning,

Claira took Shepard back to see you.

She made sure you were thoroughly

sedated to prevent risk of you waking

and becoming upset. She let him come

and say good-bye. She knew you would

leave, because I sent her to get you.

Shepard has known for some time where

you were because of me. Because of

Claira, I was able to keep both of you

under my wing.”

Each piece snapped into place with

a loud crash. My hands covered my

mouth and I closed my eyes as I felt

shock come over me. He knew where I

was.

“The possibility of one day being

with you has kept Shepard going all of

this time. If he knew what I was having

you do, he would have intervened and

perhaps gotten both of you killed. I have

withheld the truth from him just as I have

from you, to keep you safe. When I

received notice from Beacon about your

family and what you were doing in the

lab, I knew I had to move quickly.”

“Not Alessa.”

His face darkened at his admission,

then widened as my body started to jerk

violently. The panic had finally seized

every nerve in my body. I was

subconsciously holding my breath for so

long that the world went sideways

before going dark.

Chapter 38 -

Wonderland

I started to rouse in the back of the

Audi as I heard the sound of doors open

then slam shut. The noise of aircraft all

around pierced through the confusion.

Upon realizing that I had awoken, Doc

opened my door and began to unsnap my

seat belt.

“We have to go now, Violet” His

voice was filled with urgency and

authority.

My arms and legs felt like lead

weights as if I were drugged. I must have

been drooling because he took a new

handkerchief to my mouth and gently

dabbed the corner. Throwing one of my

arms around his shoulder, he gently

lifted me out of the car and headed

towards the small jet that was being

prepared for take-off. As he slowly

walked up the small stairway, he once

again repeated the same words that

started this nightmare.

“What I am about to do is going to

frighten you, but I need you to trust me.”

All I could do was remain limp in

his arms like a mere rag doll being

carried by a child. Even if I wanted to

fight, there was nothing left in me to do

so. I was passed to a large man at the top

of the stairs, gently carried to a seat, and

strapped in. My head slumped over to

the side, only able to observe the

shadows of people as they came on to

the plane.

First I saw Doc, and then behind

him was Dr. Thomas, Alessa, and Mr.

Gladstone.

What the hell was going on? Small

whimpers started to escape my throat;

whatever was given to me must have

started to wear off. They stared at me

with pity and concern while talking

amongst themselves. The Doc got a call

from the pilot and walked towards the

cockpit. A few minutes later, he returned

and addressed the others.

“He’s here.”

Who’s here? I thought to myself,

still unable to speak or move. Even

opening my eyes took every bit of

concentration.

The shadows were cast into the

plane before the body entered. Another

large man entered dressed in jeans and a

grey thermal shirt with combat boots,

followed by the man who carried me

aboard, then one more.

Shepard.

No! This was not happening, this

was not real!

Once his eyes locked onto mine, he

went to lunge after me, but was

restrained by the muscular gentleman

who carried me aboard. Voices became

loud as Doc frantically worked to keep

him calm.

“I warned you about this, Shepard.

You need to keep it together or there

will be severe consequences, do you

understand? You have no idea what

she’s been through; she needs to rest.”

Claira came over to me and smiled

sweetly. Tilting my seat back so I was

lying in a more reclined position, she

looked at the man and told him to let

Shepard go. Motioning him to come near

to her, she lightly grasped his hand.

“Sit here by her, Shepard; you will

help her to calm down. She’s in shock

right now; I need to keep her sedated.”

Claira walked back to the front of

the plane and retrieved a small black

leather case, while Shepard gently

turned my head to face him. Holding

both sides of my face with his strong

hands, I could see the rage building in

his eyes. I was still unable to move,

despite the screams in my head. He no

longer cared that his employer was

sitting across from us. The moment I

arrived, all formalities went out the

window. Whatever happened to me

along the river must have scared Doc

enough to change his mind about him.

Damn, how long had I been out?

Claira came back over and lifted

my arm, revealing a heplock that was

taped inside of my elbow. A small

syringe removed some liquid from a tiny

glass bottle. She flicked the top a few

times to remove any air bubbles before

inserting the needle into the tube. My

eyelids grew heavy as the drugs coursed

through my veins. My skin started to feel

itchy with warmth.

Morphine.

I was going to be out for a while.

Just before going under, I heard his

sweet voice.

“I’m right here, Violet.”