Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 (30 page)

Isaac keeps something touching me at all times as we stand on the outside deck of the medium sized, white cruise boat, be it his hand, his leg, his chest against my back.

Skipper Elisia, or skipper E as she likes to be called, is well learned in the monster of the Loch and the Loch itself. We hold on to the side of the ‘Jacobite Queen’ and overlook the lake. “Some of you may be able to scent a metallic tang to the air,” Skipper E tells us and scratches at the odd looking mole on her chin.  “It’s because we’re closer to the end that opens up to the sea.”

“Told you so,” I hiss at Isaac because I’ve mentioned the scent a few times now.

Isaac says he can’t smell anything which is annoying me because the smell is right there. How he can’t smell it is beyond me.

The lake is beautiful. Scotland is so bloody beautiful.

“How are you liking your new job?” Isaac asks quietly so we don’t disturb the others.

His chin rests on my shoulder and his arms wrap around my front. The boat sways, causing his body to gently rub against mine. It makes me want more of what we had this morning, despite my soreness.

“I love it. I’m learning so much. This apprenticeship is going to open up so many doors for me.”

“Good, you’ve earned it.”

I smile kindly at him and my heart tingles. I love him still, even after all these years, but I’m scared too. He was right in saying yesterday that he doesn’t want me to be with him simply because of my predicament. I don’t want to be with him simply because of my predicament.

“How are we going to do this? Last time long distance didn’t work for us and I’m not letting you leave your job for me.” I tell him.

“Your apprenticeship will only last a few months, won’t it? You’re already two weeks in.”

“But if I’m hired by Hamish’s company, I’ll probably have to move here. Or I’ll be travelling a lot, all over the UK with him for a year as he trains me.”

I feel him tense. “You aren’t going to be able to do that…” His hand flattens against my stomach. “You have a few months left before you leave work and then you won’t be going back for six months.”

The reality of what is actually happening to my life sinks in and tears spring to my eyes. “This is such shitty timing.”

“Don’t cry; we’ll figure it out.” He kisses my neck and points into the distance. “The water is stirring.”

“It’s just a fish,” I say flatly, not letting the fact I just got a little excited show to him. “I feel like I’m losing control of everything.”

Isaac kisses me again but doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything because I’m right to feel that way.

“I’ll talk to Hamish, explain the situation and go from there.”

“If he says that he can’t keep you on after the three months… will you terminate?” His voice is guarded. No doubt his eyes will be too if I look into him.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Isaac. I’m not happy about my situation. I had the coil fitted to prevent this, but I’m not going to terminate for a job. If Hamish can’t take me on it doesn’t matter. As long as I work hard these next couple of months, I’ll have an excellent reference from one of the greatest architects of the twenty-first century. I’ll get a job elsewhere easily when the time comes.”

He grins and turns me to face him. “That you will.”

I press my lips to his and melt into his warm embrace. His body protects me from the chill in the air, but it doesn’t stop me from shivering.

“I love you,” he says softly. “We’ll figure all of this out. It won’t be like the last time.”

“I believe you.”

“It hurts that you’re sad.” He leans back and cups my face with a large, warm hand. “But I’m not going to lie. For me, this is the best thing that could have happened. I hate that it’s interfering with your plans, but if it brings us closer together I’m not complaining.”

I widen my eyes, gasp and stare in horror at a spot over his shoulder. He whips around to see what I’m seeing. When he sees nothing and turns back to me I’m laughing uncontrollably. He wasn’t the only one I fooled, but when the other passengers start grumbling miserably it only makes me laugh more.

Isaac grabs me by the back of my neck and brings his lips down onto mine. Kissing is how we spend the rest of the cruise.

“So this will be the last time I’m visiting for a few weeks,” I say to my dad as we eat our lunch. I’m dying to tell him the news. I want to shout it from the rooftops but Elle and I agreed that we wouldn’t tell a soul until the twelfth week. She’s worried something will happen and both of us are more scared of how my dad will react if something does happen. Out of everyone we know, he’ll be the most excited.

“How come?”

“Elle and I are back together,” I say, nonchalant.

My dad stares at me for a long pause before beaming from ear to ear. His knife and fork hit the table. “You’re joking?”

“No. So I’m driving to visit her on the weekends.”

“It’s a seven hour drive.”

“We’re meeting in the middle.”

My dad winces. “That’s going to be expensive.”

I shrug. “It’ll be worth it.” I don’t tell him that we’ll most likely be camping in different locations to save money. It’ll be an adventure. This way we’ll get to discover different places.

This thought makes me angry with myself. I should never have let her walk away all those years ago. We’ve missed out on so many things.

I was a fool.

But no longer will I be.

“Speak of the devil…” I grin when her face lights up my screen and I bring the phone to my ear. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she responds, sounding cheery. “So, I just spoke to Hamish. Can you talk?”

I hold up my finger to my dad before leaving the kitchen and heading to the middle of the stairs where I sit. “Yeah, I can talk.”

“I explained the situation and he said that when I’m ready to go back there will be a place for me. He isn’t looking for new staff but he’s not going to pass on new, raw talent like mine! Those were his exact words.” She squeals with glee and I can’t help but chuckle. “Isn’t that amazing?”

“It is.”

“So, I’ll be able to move to Boston with you and we can raise the baby together.”

This is definitely good news. “New tenants move into the house next week and the lease on my apartment in Boston is up in two months, so we’ll be able to find somewhere a bit more permanent for us all.”

“It’s like everything's just falling into place.” She blows out a breath. “I’m so fucking happy right now.”

“Me too.”

“I’m going to sell the inn to Silas’ buyer.”

I still. “What?”

“Well, this way I can buy another house or two instead of running a business that I don’t even know how to run.”

“You can’t! This is what you wanted…” That and I just remortgaged the house.

“I can’t afford to buy him out. I don’t want to run it alone and I don’t want to run it with him.” I need to tell her that I have the money she needs but I have a strong feeling she won’t accept it. “It was meant to be this way. If I sell it to him I’ll be making a decent profit.”

“Elle…”

“My mind is set. I’m settled in my decision.”

Fuck. “I remortgaged the house, Elle.”

She goes silent for a long beat and my palms begin to sweat.

I continue. “I have the money you need to buy Silas out.”

“What?”

“I was going to tell you this weekend.”

“You should have spoken to me first.”

Oh dear. “I wanted to…”

“You should have spoken to me first. Isaac… I’ve already signed the inn over.”

And she’s telling me that I should have spoken to her first? “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“It was never my dream. It was an opportunity that I invested in.”

“When the fuck did this all happen?”

“Don’t speak to me like that,” she snarls. “If I want to sell my inn, I’ll sell my inn.”

“But you just had a go at me for selling my house?” My head hurts. “Why is it okay for you and not for me?”

“Because…” Her voice trails off before she growls and snaps. “I’m hanging up now.” And the line goes dead, leaving me sitting in the middle of the stairs scratching my head. Confusion is all I feel right now.

“Everything okay?” My dad yells from the kitchen.

“No idea.”

“What happened?” He steps into the hallway.

I shrug. “I don’t know if we just fell out or not.”

“If in doubt, send flowers.” My dad wisely tells me.

“Good point.” I say and pull up the browser on my phone. I find a florist local to Elle and I send her the largest bunch of flowers that I can afford.

Then I call my bank and put everything back to how it was.

“I need you Saturday. If we’re going to fit interior design into your training, I’m going to need you on the weekends.” Hamish says softly.

Isaac isn’t going to like this.

“I understand and I appreciate you putting in the extra time.”

He shrugs and downs his drink. “No problem. I work most Saturdays anyway.”

We finish our lunch, chatting about the high end restaurant we’ll be starting the plans on tomorrow, though my heart isn’t in it. My heart is with my ex-husband. I need to tell him.

I’m scared though. What if he doesn’t understand? What if we end up hating each other again?

No…

I need to have faith in him. He’s changed. He’s different now. He has to be. Nothing will be like it was. He won’t get jealous and upset over things I want or can’t control. I won’t be made to feel guilty because I’m making a career for myself.

“I’m just going to make a call,” I say to Hamish as we walk back to his office. He nods his understanding and plows on ahead as I linger in the background, being mindful of the people around me. The phone rings and rings and rings and I start to think that maybe I shouldn’t tell him now. Maybe I should wait until we’ve both finished work.

Just as I’m about to hang up, he answers. “Hey. So… I just looked online and I found this amazing campsite called Kielder campsite. It’s right next to Kielder forest park and Northumberland national park.”

Oh fuck. “Isaac…”

“I’ve gotten my dad’s old tent out but I’ve bought new sleeping bags that zip together so we can share…”

“Isaac.”

He falls silent. “Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?”

“Everything is fine, the baby is hopefully fine.” I sigh deeply. “Hamish is adding interior design to my apprenticeship.”

“That’s great, Elle!”

“Yeah, but…” I feel like I’m about to kick a puppy. “I’m not going to be able to do weekends.”

“What?”

“I’ll only get half a day on Tuesday off, half a day Thursday and then Sunday.”

I can hear him breathing so I know he’s still there, despite his lack of words.

“I’m sorry. I want to be with you but I can’t pass this up. It’s only for three more months,” I explain, hoping that we don’t have to make a big deal out of this. “If I don’t take this now, I’ll have to do more training when I come back.”

“I…” I hear a chair squeak as he sits. “I can’t take any more time off work, Elle, or I’m going to lose my job.”

“I know. It’s okay, though… right?” I need his reassurance.

“I’m going to miss the first scan.” My heart aches. I never even thought of that. “I’m going to miss the first appointment.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“The first four months are the most tiring. I’ve been reading up online and asking friends at work. How are you going to handle just one full day off a week?”

I’ve already started to feel the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy. “I’ll manage.”

“I suppose you’ll have to.” His voice sounds so sad, I feel awful. “I feel so fucking useless right now. I should be there with you.”

“It happens like this sometimes,” I tell him softly. “Not just to us.”

“It’s only two months… right?”

“Three.” I clear my throat. “I’ll be home mid-December.”

He falls silent again and I hate this but what can I do? This is the real world. If we want to succeed we have to make sacrifices. When he finally does speak, his voice is hushed and laced with pain. “What if you decide you don’t want me anymore?”

It sends pins and needles shooting through me. My chest feels tight and I want to cry. “You’ll have to trust in me as I’m going to trust in you.”

“This isn’t about trust…” He whispers, sounding so defeated.

“Isaac, I love you and I know you love me. We’re just going to have to wait a while. Absence makes the heart grow stronger, right?”

“It didn’t last time.” He states gruffly. I hear the school bell ring and realise that his time is up. “Promise me you won’t stop loving me again.”

“I never stopped loving you to begin with, Isaac. I just… lost faith in us.”

“Will you lose faith this time?”

I smile softly, though he can’t see it. I can’t help but feel a certain amount of joy in the fact that he’s as scared to lose me again as I am him. “No.”

“Because you’re pregnant?”

“Because you’re the only person in my life other than our parents and Hayley that I’ve ever loved. I want to be with you until I die.”

“My students are here. I have to go.”

“I love you, Isaac. Do you trust me?”

He goes quiet again as if contemplating his answer, but then he finally says, “More than anyone or anything else.”

“Call me later.” I hang up and smile at my phone. Despite the distance between us, for once I actually feel like we’re going to do things right.