Dissent (9 page)

“One
slut does not a bet make,” I countered.

“Fine,”
he said, smiling wickedly. “Then double says me and...”
he looked around the bus for a second, “Mike,” he
decided, “can get anal by the end of the night with the same
exact method.”

Mike
perked up slightly, shrugging when my eyes fell on him. “Hey, I
was in when I heard 'anal', man.”

“You're
all the same,” I said, shaking my head at them.

“Come
on,” Isaiah said, taking another hundred out of his wallet and
holding both bills up. “Put your money where your mouth is.”

I
squinted my eyes at him, reaching in my purse for the money. Even as
I pulled the bills out, I had a sneaking, almost sinking feeling that
I was going to lose. And it wasn't about the money. It was about
being proven wrong. About women. By a man. That shit was infuriating.
Because there was no way some guy was going to fuck my ass just
because they said they were.

I
glanced over, my eyes falling on his dark green ones. Not even
freaking Isaiah Meyers.

“And
you can't get it by holding it over the heads of some poor girls who
want to get behind the stage to meet us. It has to be by your own
merit.”

“I
think that's a fair stipulation,” Isaiah agreed, taking my
money and putting it with his underneath the closed pull tab of a
beer in a cup holder.

“While
we're on the topic of sex,” Jay started and I felt my spine
straighten. No way was he going to tease me about not getting any in
front of Isaiah. No freaking way.

“Shut
up,” I warned, turning on him.

Jay's
smile just widened. “Darce here hasn't gotten a good lay in
what...”

“You're
such a fucking asshole,” I said, shaking my head as Burt
slammed the door and clapped. “We're ready to go?” I
asked, knowing we were, and following him up toward the cab and
sitting down in the passenger seat.

“Yep,”
he agreed, putting his huge energy drink into the cup holder.

“Good,”
I said, pulling my seat belt on. “I want to get to the venue
and away from these... boys.”

“Already?”
Burt asked, looking at me with his much older, much wiser, brown
eyes. “It's gonna be a long tour.

“You
have no idea,” I said, reaching for the stereo and blasting a
female metal band screaming, lyrics about going down on other girls.
Lesbianism seemed like a good alternative to having to deal with men
anymore.

Even
if I didn't exactly salivate at the idea of eating pussy. Maybe it
was an acquired taste.

It
wasn't long before someone came up to the table behind Burt, slipping
into the booth seat closest to us and sitting in it longways, pulling
a book open in his lap. I glanced at him from under my lashes to see
the cover of the book, and smiled slightly to myself.

At
least he was open to suggestion. I resisted the urge to turn in my
seat and ask him how he was liking it. And a part of me knew it was
because I was afraid of creating any intimacy between us. Because
that would just make it all the easier for him to sneak under my
walls at some point.

Which
wasn't going to happen.

Because
he was my neighbor. That could be the only possible reason I was
fighting it so hard. He was my next door neighbor. And if we had sex
and it went south, there was no escaping him. There was the lobby,
the hallway, our balcony. He could get vindictive and decide to call
the cops or the building owner anytime I had a party. You never
really know what people are capable. And I had only known him for
what... five days? Who knew what could happen?

It
wasn't worth it.

Even
if Jay was right and I really, really needed to get some. Even if it
was super convenient because, well, he was literally within arms
reach twenty-four hours a day. Even if he did have the best silent
but deadly flirtatious streak. Even if that was really, really sexy.

I
shook my head, trying to focus on something, anything, else. The set
list for the show. How I had failed to hit the high note on the final
song for two shows in a row. How we really needed to get started on
more material for the next album. As soon as the tour was over, we
were going to take a week of vacation then hit the studio. Then it
was right back on the road again.

There
were plenty of other things to concentrate on than the blonde haired,
green eyed guy sitting only a few feet from me. Literally breathing
the same air.

The
only reason I had gotten to sleep the night before was because I
snuck off to the bathroom around two am and took one of Todd's
sleeping pills. Otherwise I would have laid awake all night thinking
about him beneath me. Maybe... picturing him... beneath me as I rid
him hard and...

Jesus
Christ.

I
needed to get it together.

The
show was packed right back through the lawn “seats” that
were completely seat-less, where the very loyal and very poor fans
screamed louder than anyone else. I remembered being them. Not that
long ago. Less than seven years ago, crushed up against the metal
crowd controllers, people pressing into us from every angle, the body
heat stifling in the August humidity, men reaching around and
grabbing my tits or my ass, feeling random creepers cocks pressed up
against my thighs, and not giving a damn. Because all that mattered
was the music. The bands I had clung to like life vests after my
family kicked me out. The idea of being them one day that kept me
hungry to pay attention to every aspect of their stage shows. To
commit it all to memory for the day when I could put it to use.

I
remembered being them. I imagined that at every show, there was
someone in those lawn seats that had a dream like I used to. I
imagined that I was singing to them directly. That I was showing them
that if I could do it, then they could too. That if you were willing
to put in the work, you could get all that you dreamed about and
more.

That
was why I loved touring. That's why I was a mass of excitement and
nervousness every time I waited at the sides of the stage, listening
to the screams from the fans. It's why it took me hours after I got
off the stage to calm down.

I
walked backstage to the sound of the screams, deafening to any normal
person, music to my ears. Jay walked down toward the edge of the
stage, looking over the women and pointing out four or five of them
which proceeded to scream and cry as they were hauled over the crowd
controllers by the security guards and led onto the stage to a
waiting Jay.

Todd
was already gone, taken back to the tour bus to quickly shower, grab
a snack, and haul off to his bunk before we got back.

I
made my way back toward the backstage lounge, dropping down onto the
couch and chugging a bottle of water. I would have at least another
five minutes before Jay came barging in and interrupting my few
minutes of peace. I grabbed a towel, mopping at the sweat on my neck
and chest. There were some fans to meet. There were always VIP badges
sold and with the extra money came a precious few moments with the
band. We posed for pictures, we signed autographs, we answered
questions. Then they were escorted away. Well, the ones that Jay and
the guys didn't invite back onto the bus, that is.

I
fixed my makeup and hair just in time for the door to burst open and
a hoard of female fans to surround me. I liked female metal fans.
There was always a certain sense of strength about them. Even when
they were gushing or crying, there was an undercurrent of steel. I
liked to help be a part of that. To reinforce that. To help create a
generation of women who didn't give a fuck about gender norms or
restrictions. Who didn't play by the so-called rules.

It
was an hour before I could untangle myself from the hoards. The
backstage was eerily empty. I could hear Mark and Joey talking,
yelling across the equipment they were moving. I didn't see Isaiah
anywhere. I was about to ask one of the other guys where he was when
I knew he should be getting the hazing of a lifetime. Being the
rookie on the tour usually meant he was going to have to do all the
work while the others stood by, or even rode on the equipment. But I
didn't want it getting around that I asked about him.

I
was just about to head out the back and meet Burt who would be
waiting for me to walk me back to the bus, when I heard it.

A
low, frantic moaning. I shook my head for a second but kept walking
until I caught sight of the source of the noises and froze. Because
there, kneeling behind one of the girls from the crowd that Jay had
invited back, was Isaiah. Her blonde hair fell down, masking her face
from view, Isaiah's hands grabbing her hips and pulling her backward
as he thrust forward into her.

I
knew without a doubt that I had just lost two-hundred dollars.

I
found myself watching for a second before ducking my head and walking
on, a little faster than I had been before. I pushed the back door
open, feeling an uncomfortable wobbly feeling in my stomach that I
could only place as … jealousy. Which was stupid. It was
absolutely batshit crazy. I was not fucking jealous of some random
groupie getting fucked in the ass to win a bet. No freaking way.

“Good
show?” Burt asked, handing me a bottle of water and falling
into step beside me.

“Yeah,”
I said, uncharacteristically quiet when I was usually bouncing with
excess energy. But all I felt was tired.

He
looked over at me sideways, nodded once, then unlocked the bus door,
letting me walk inside in my unusually staid silence.

Nine

I
liked the work. My body fell back into it like an old forgotten
friend. I liked the strain, the struggle, the challenge. Mike and
Joey had just stood by during the setup shouting out directions while
I busted my ass.

It
was all perfectly familiar.

Mike
and Joey took off to flirt with whatever women they could find and I
snuck off to the side of the stage to watch, earplugs in to help
deaden the sound of the drums and bass. She really was something else
on stage. It was like she came alive. Like she took all the
excitement of the crowd into herself and it was bursting out of all
of her pores. Like she was exploding.

It
was impossible to look away from.

I
walked away when she was saying goodnight to the crowd, looking for
the guys and figuring out my instructions for the rest of the night.
It wasn't long until I came across Noel, a pretty long haired blonde
with big doe eyes and a ridiculously short skirt.

“Are
you lost?”

“He's
an asshole,” she said back, crossing her arms over her chest.

Well
that narrowed it down to half of the audience and almost all of the
stage crew and band. “Who is?”

“Jay.
He picked me out of the crowd first and then there were a bunch of
other girls and...”

Ah.
While it looked like most girls were more than willing to fight for a
rock star's attention, there was always going to be one who thought
they were above the fold. That they should have been recognized as
superior to the others. And this one was pretty with her sharp face,
great rack, long legs, and round ass.

Speaking
of asses...

“What's
your name, sweetheart?”

“Noel,”
she said, turning her head slightly to look at me.

“I'm
Isaiah,” I said, walking closer, moving until I was right by
her then reaching out to touch her face. “I don't know what is
wrong with Jay- messing around with those skanks when he could have
someone as gorgeous as you.”

Her
eyes found mine, a look of victory in them. She got the validation
she was so desperately seeking. Little did she know, I was the one
who really just won. “You're sweet.”

“How
old are you?” I asked, looking down at the body that should
belong to a woman in her early twenties, but women matured way too
young nowadays.

“Nineteen,”
she said, lifting her chin.

“Got
any proof of that?” I asked and she laughed, but reached for
her purse and brought up her license.

“Satisfied?”
she asked, smirking as she took it back and tucked it away.

“Not
yet,” I said, reaching up to cradle the sides of her face,
giving her a split second to object before pushing her back against
the wall and kissing her hard and demanding. She sparked underneath
my touch, her hands going around my back, slipping under my shirt,
raking down my bare skin.