Difficult Lessons (21 page)

“Just not happy that his little girl is not what he wanted.”

Sara could sense the animosity that Cynthia had for her father. She placed her hand on Cynthia’s leg under the table and squeezed reassuringly. 

“Well Cynthia, it was kind of a shock when you came out to us. Neither one of us handled it too well. I know that now. I have done a lot of thinking.”

“About what?”

“About our relationship, or the lack of a relationship, as is the real case. I want my daughter back.”

“Do you want the daughter you wished for or the daughter that exists?” Cynthia was a little calmer, but still agitated. “Mom, I am not going to pretend to be something that I am not for you. If you want to have a relationship with me, you have to accept me as I am.”

“I know that, Cynthia. As I said, I have done a lot of thinking. I guess I probably knew a long time before you ever confirmed it, but did not want to admit that my daughter was gay. It was a hard thing for me. I always wanted you to grow up and get married. I wanted to have grandchildren. When you told us that you were gay, it shattered what I wanted. I know now that it was selfish of me to feel that way. It was selfish of me to try to force something on you that you did not want.”

The waitress brought out their order. Catherine stopped talking while she was at the table. Cynthia took that moment to break into the conversation.

“So you are willing to accept Sara as my partner?”

Catherine was taking a drink of her water when Cynthia asked.

“I am,” she said putting the glass down on the table. “Just the few short minutes that I have been around you two, I can tell you are truly happy. You look like a perfect couple. I can see the love in her eyes when she looks at you. I can tell you love her too.”

“That is all I ever wanted, Mom. I think that is all anyone wants, to be loved by someone and to be accepted by everyone else for who they are.” Cynthia looked at Sara.  “This woman right here has shown me that being accepted for who you are is worth fighting for. I am not going to pretend to be something just to make everyone else comfortable.”

“You should not have to. I realize that now. Your father and I put you through hell. I am sorry about that and want to make that up to you. I know I can’t make you forget it, but I would like to try to improve things for the future. I guess this is my feeble attempt at an apology for the past. Will you accept it?”

Cynthia took a deep breath. “I can try. Does Dad know where you are?”

“He knows that I came to find you.”

“Does he know where I am?”

“No. He didn’t act as if he wanted to know, so I didn’t tell him. He was not really happy that I was coming.”

“No big surprise there.” Cynthia did not even try to hide her feelings. “How long are you planning on staying?”

“I don’t know. I wanted to see you and see how things would go if you agreed to talk to me. I figured I would decide then how long to stay. I would also love to get to know this young lady who has obviously stolen your heart. Tell me a little about yourself, Sara.” Catherine had turned her attention to Sara.

“There isn’t a lot to tell about me, Mrs. Wesley. I am a teacher, like your daughter. I teach math. As a matter of fact, we both work at the same high school. I had taught here at Mills High for about fifteen years, but changed schools this year.”

“Why did you leave Mills after so many years?”

“It is a really long story.” Sara did not want to get into that with Cynthia’s mother on the first meeting.

“Well shorten it a bit and tell me.” Catherine was very blunt. “I want to know all about the woman who is, for all intents and purposes, my daughter-in-law.”

Sara giggled softly. “Well, I was pretty much closeted at work. Only a few people knew that I was gay. It came to be public knowledge because of someone who has some serious issues with gay people. He decided I was a good target. The school decided not to renew my contract because of my orientation. I hired a lawyer. We sued them. They eventually offered me my job back, but I had taken the position at Cedar so I turned them down. It was a good move for me. I am happy there.”

“Well good for you. At least you are a fighter and don’t let people take advantage of you.” Catherine seemed sincere. “I have spent many years letting people tell me what to do and take advantage of me. It has cost me my relationship with my only daughter. It is not a good thing. You have to stand up for what you believe in and defend yourself. I have come to that realization the hard way.”

“This sounds so unlike you, Mom.” Catherine and Sara turned to Cynthia as she spoke. “You have always been so mousy and let Dad and everyone else tell you what to do and what to think. What’s brought about this change?”

“You did, Cynthia.” Catherine had tears in her eyes. “When you stopped having contact with us, it made me realize what I was losing. As long as you were in Alabama, I could still keep tabs on you in a way. People would tell me when they saw you. I could find out how you were doing. When you moved, I really felt the loss.”

“How did you find out where I was? That has puzzled me ever since I talked with you last night?”

Catherine took a deep breath.  “I convinced your friend Jason to tell me. Don’t get mad at him. It wasn’t easy for me to get him to give up the information. He didn’t know your exact address, but he did know the phone number. When I dialed the number and heard the other voice on the answering machine, I wasn’t sure if I had the right one. I was taking a chance I guess, but it was a chance that I needed to take.”

“That’s not exactly true.” Both Catherine and Cynthia turned to Sara as she spoke.  “Cynthia, when I planned the cruise, I called your parents and invited them. I had hoped that they would come with us and see how happy their daughter was. I have actually spoken to your mother before now.”

The look of surprise on Cynthia’s face worried Sara slightly. She was afraid that Cynthia would be upset with her. “I hope that you’re not too mad about that.”

“I’m just surprised. You actually tried to get Mom and Dad to come with us?”

“Yes. I thought that it would be a great surprise. Your mom was very kind to me when I called. I may be wrong, but I think that she might have gone. Your father was obviously not as receptive to the idea.”

“No. He was not at all receptive to it.” Catherine attempted to change the conversation. “So Sara, are your parents around here?”

“Both of my parents are here. They are divorced, but we all still get together once in a while. They love Cynthia as much as I do, well almost as much. They have really made her feel like part of the family.”

“Why don’t we all have dinner together tomorrow night?” Cynthia asked and surprised both Sara and her mother. “We can take you to our house. Sara and I can cook something up. You can meet her parents then.”

“Are you sure, Cynthia?” Catherine asked.

“Mom, if you’re going to try to make amends, the least I can do is try also.”

“I guess I should call Mom and Dad and see if they can make it.” Sara grabbed her cell phone and made the arrangements with her parents.   

Catherine really was serious about regaining her relationship with Cynthia. Cynthia was apprehensive at first, but warmed up to her mother quickly. By the end of the night, they seemed to be getting along as if they had always been close. Her father was mentioned very little. On Sunday, she checked out of her hotel and moved her luggage to Sara and Cynthia’s house.

***

Sara, her parents, Cynthia, and Catherine had a nice lunch on Christmas Eve before taking Catherine to the airport.

“Girls, will you come visit me sometime?” Catherine’s question caught them off guard.

“I don’t know, Mom. I don’t think Dad would approve very much.”

“I am not worried about your father, Cynthia. I really do want us back together as mother and daughter.”

“We’ll see about it. Maybe we can drive over for spring break. Sara might like to see the sights around Mobile. We won’t stay at the house though. I am not going to put Sara through a week of Dad.”

“Fair enough.”

“Catherine,” Sara spoke up. “I really do love your daughter. I hope that you can convince her father that she is happy and he needs to accept that. I realize that with some people there is no hope of changing them, but she needs you two and you two need her. It is not right for a family to be split apart because of one person’s small-minded views. It is just so foreign to me because of my relationship with my parents. I would love for Cynthia to have that same type of relationship with you and her dad. I would also like to get to know both of you and have a positive relationship with you.”

“Sara, in just the few short days that I have been here I can honestly say that I love you like a daughter. You’re making my daughter happy and that’s good enough for me. Her father may never come around, but you can bet I’ll work on him when I get home.”

***

“Wow. These last few months have been so full of changes and surprises,” Cynthia said as they watched her mother go through the airport terminal to her gate.

“Is that a good thing?” Sara asked apprehensively.

“A very good thing.” Cynthia put her arm around Sara’s waist. “You’ve been the best thing that has ever happened to me. You go to such extremes to make people happy. I would have never expected you to try to get my parents to reconcile with me. You’ve given me the best Christmas present ever.”

“I have to admit that it wasn’t an easy decision and I was not sure how you would take it. I had to try though. I wish it had not taken so long, but at least your mom has come around.”

“Sara, you are a wonderful person. Don’t ever change who you are.”

“I am what I am and I ain’t what I ain’t. That has been a hard lesson for me to learn. It’s been even harder for some other
people
, but life is full of difficult lessons. Let’s go home.”

“Again, another brilliant idea,” Cynthia said as they walked toward the exit of the airport with their arms firmly locked around each other.