Devil's Food Cake Murder (21 page)

“Yes,” Norman answered, and Hannah could do nothing but agree. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Lisa’s stories. It brought them lots of business. But she’d already found Reverend Matthew’s body once, and she wasn’t too keen on hearing it again.

“… knocked once, but there was no answer,” Lisa’s voice carried to the kitchen. “So our Hannah knocked again. Reverend Matthew? Are you in there? Hannah asked, but again there was no answer. So Hannah, whose heart was beating like a caged lion, turned the knob and inched open the door.”

Norman looked over at Hannah. “A caged lion?” he repeated.

“Don’t ask me. Lisa tells these stories in her own way.”

“But is that what happened?”

“Not exactly, but it’s close enough.”

“Then, when she opened the door a bit wider,” Lisa continued, “Hannah saw the one sight in the world that turned her blood to ice.”

There were gasps from Lisa’s audience and a low murmur that carried all the way to the kitchen. Everyone knew what was coming next. Hannah thought she recognized Florence’s voice. She must have called in one of her extra checkers and left the Lake Eden Red Owl so that she could come to hear Lisa’s story. And then a very familiar voice said, “Go on, Lisa.”

Hannah turned to Norman in shock. “Was that Michelle?” she asked, wondering if she’d heard wrong.

“It was Michelle,” Norman answered with a nod. “She must have taken the bus down when she heard about Reverend Matthew’s murder.”

“I don’t know about you, but I would have turned tail and run,” Lisa addressed her audience directly. “How about you?”

“No way I’d go in there!” a familiar voice declared, and Hannah knew it was Bonnie Surma.

“I might have, but I would have thought long and hard about it first.”

“Doug Greerson,” Hannah said to Norman.

“I would have kept the door closed and called the police from my cell phone,” another voice stated, a female voice that Hannah didn’t recognize.

“That’s Bev,” Norman told her. “She must have walked up here on her lunch hour.”

Hannah gave silent thanks that she hadn’t decided to tell the story herself. Even though they were here, together, on a quest for the killer, she was still enjoying her day with Norman. She didn’t want to be reminded of Doctor Bev and how much time Norman’s former fiancee spent with him on every other day at the dental office.

“Tell us more, Lisa. I can’t stand the suspense!” a male voice urged her.

“Earl Flensburg,” Hannah said to Norman.

“What happened next?” Carrie’s anxious voice rang out.

“There’s my mother,” Norman said with a smile. “I don’t think they’ve been apart more than ten minutes since they got married.”

“Our Hannah didn’t stop or call for reinforcements,” Lisa continued. “She didn’t even hesitate. She just squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked right in. She may have felt like turning tail and running, but she didn’t. Her legs were trembling, her breath was coming in little gasps like an old-fashioned steam locomotive just pulling away from the roundhouse, and her teeth were chattering, but she forced herself to move forward toward Reverend Matthew to feel for a pulse.”

“Why did she do that?”

“Doug Greerson again,” Hannah said softly to Norman. “He’s really getting into it.”

“Hannah felt she owed it to him,” Lisa explained, “that if there was any thread of life remaining, she’d pick up the phone and call for the ambulance. But of course there wasn’t. Reverend Matthew was stone-cold dead. And then, right then and there, is when it happened, the most unexpected sound in the world.”

“The phone?” Doug guessed.

“No, not the phone. It was a voice from above. Reverend Matthew’s voice.”

There were more gasps, a whole roomful of them, and several startled exclamations.

“And Reverend Matthew’s voice said, The wages of sin is death.”

“Come on, Lisa,” Earl broke the stunned silence. “Everybody here knows that’s impossible. You said Reverend Matthew was dead, and dead men don’t talk.”

“It wasn’t Reverend Matthew,” a voice called out from the back of the office shop. “It was Jacob!”

“Pete Nunke,” Hannah explained to Norman.

“Who’s Jacob?” Carrie asked Pete.

“That’s my mynah bird. Reverend Bob and Claire kept him for me when I was in the hospital, and Grandma said he could stay with her until I could get out of this darn wheelchair. She told me that Reverend Matthew spent a lot of time with Jacob, trying to teach him Bible verses and stuff like that.”

“You heard it from Jacob’s owner himself,” Lisa said, taking charge of her story again. “But our Hannah didn’t know that Reverend Matthew had taken Jacob to the church office with him and set his cage on the bookcase. When Jacob said, The wages of sin is death, in an imitation of Reverend Matthew’s voice, our Hannah nearly jumped out of her skin!”

“Gracious, yes!” Bertie Straub said, and Hannah wondered if she’d canceled all of her appointments for the afternoon. Bertie had come in when they opened, Hannah had seen her, and she’d spotted Bertie again when she’d left with Norman. Now Bertie was back once again. The owner of the Cut ‘n Curl must have every one of Lisa’s lines memorized by now.

“As soon as Hannah realized that Jacob was the one imitating Reverend Matthew’s voice, she gave a deep sigh of relief. But then there was another sound that startled her. The phone on the desk, right next to Reverend Matthew’s head, began to ring.”

The phone rang, and for a split second Hannah wondered how Lisa had arranged that. Then she realized that it was The Cookie Jar phone, and she leaped up to answer it. “The Cookie Jar. This is Hannah.”

“Hannah!” Grandma Knudson’s voice was quavery and breathless. “Hannah!”

“Grandma Knudson, are you okay?” Hannah asked, keeping her voice as calm as possible. Grandma Knudson sounded upset beyond belief.

“Yes. Yes. I am. Oh, Hannah! The most amazing thing has happened!”

“What is it, Grandma Knudson?” Hannah wondered if the shock of Reverend Matthew’s murder and the stress of the past twenty-four hours had taken its toll on Grandma Knudson’s health.

“It’s Matthew! You’ve got to come right away, Hannah! Matthew isn’t dead. He’s alive!”

CHOCOLATE EUPHORIA COOKIE BARS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

1/2 cup butter (one stick, 4 ounces, 1/4 pound)

1 and 1/2 cups chocolate wafer crumbs (or Oreo cookie crumbs)***

1 cup (6 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips

2 cups miniature marshmallows

1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk (NOT evaporated milk!)

1 cup (6 ounces) white chocolate chips (or vanilla chips)

2 cups Cocoa Puffs cereal (or any other chocolate crunchy cereal)****

1 cup (6 ounces) milk chocolate chips

*** - My store had Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers, but they weren’t crumbed. I zooped them up in my food processor with the steel blade. The 9-ounce package of Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers made about 2 cups of crumbs.

**** - I couldn’t find Cocoa Puffs in my neighborhood grocery store, so I used chocolate Cocoa Krispies (like Rice Krispies, only chocolate).

Spray a 9-inch by 13-inch cake pan with Pam (or another nonstick cooking spray) and set it aside to wait for its yummy contents.

Melt the butter in a small microwave-safe bowl on HIGH for 50 seconds.

If you bought chocolate wafers, break them down into crumbs with your food processor or put them in a large, sealable plastic bag and crush them with a rolling pin. Measure out the chocolate wafer crumbs (or the Oreo cookie crumbs) and add them to the bowl with the melted butter. Stir the cookie crumbs and the butter until everything is moistened. (The resulting mixture will resemble wet, dark sand.)

Spread the butter and cookie crumb mixture in the bottom of your cake pan and spread it out as evenly as you can. Pat it smooth with the palms of your impeccably clean hands or with the blade of a metal spatula.

Sprinkle on the semi-sweet chocolate chips. Try to distribute them as evenly as possible.

Arrange the miniature marshmallows on top of the chips as evenly as you can.

Open the can of sweetened condensed milk and pour it over the top of the marshmallows as evenly as you can.

Sprinkle the white chocolate chips on top, trying for an even distribution. Your goal is to get something of every ingredient in each cookie bar when you cut them.

Measure out the Cocoa Puffs (or whatever chocolate cereal you used) and spread it out on top of the white chocolate chips. Again, try for an even distribution.

Sprinkle the milk chocolate chips over the chocolate cereal as evenly as you can.

Press everything in the pan down with the flat blade of a metal spatula. (If the cereal crunches a bit, that’s okay.)

Bake the Chocolate Euphoria Cookie Bars at 350 degrees F. for 20 to 25 minutes. (Mine took 24 minutes.)

Remove the cookie bars from the oven and cool them in the pan on a cold stovetop burner or on a wire rack.

When the Chocolate Euphoria Cookie Bars reach room temperature, cut them into brownie-sized pieces right in the pan. Don’t take them out unless you’re going to eat them immediately.

You can now refrigerate the cookie bars in their pan to set up firmly.

Hannah’s 1st Note: If you don’t cut the bars before you put them in the refrigerator, you may have a problem. They’re very firm when they’re chilled.

When you’re ready to serve, use a metal spatula to remove the cookie bars from the pan. No one will be able to resist.

Yield: 23 to 35 rich, decadent cookie bars, depending on how generous you are when you cut them. (This yield would be from 24 to 36 bars, but I know you’ll eat one right away.)

Hannah’s 2nd Note: These cookie bars are a huge hit at The Cookie Jar. They especially appeal to hardcore chocoholics like Mother. Andrea warns me that they’re extremely rich, so you should “save” your child by eating half of his or her Chocolate Euphoria Bar before handing it over.

Hannah’s 3rd Note: Mother actually said she thought I should frost Chocolate Euphoria Cookie Bars with Fudge Frosting! She really is incorrigible.

The first thing Hannah noticed when they pulled into the parsonage driveway was that there were no fresh tire tracks coming up the drive. Clara Hollenbeck’s car had been parked at the back of the house when Hannah had left on Monday after finding Reverend Matthew’s body, but the Hollenbeck sisters must have left to run some errands for Grandma Knudson. That meant Grandma Knudson was alone, and she was obviously confused if she thought that Reverend Matthew was still alive.

“I wonder if I should have put in a call to Doc Knight to meet us here,” she said, turning to Norman.

“You can call him later if he’s needed. Let’s go in and see what’s going on with Grandma Knudson first.”

“Right.” Hannah got out of the car and retrieved the platter of Chocolate Euphoria Cookie Bars she’d placed on Norman’s back seat. Grandma Knudson would need chocolate. There was no doubt about that. She was obviously upset when she’d called Hannah at The Cookie Jar and the endorphins in the chocolate would make her feel better. There were plenty of endorphins in Chocolate Euphoria Cookie Bars with their six layers of chocolate.

Hannah motioned to Norman to follow her and climbed the back steps to the porch. They entered through the door that was never locked and walked past the table filled with several wire racks that Grandma used to cool pies and cakes in a jiffy in the cold winter weather. The kitchen door was also unlocked. Grandma Knudson opened it first thing in the morning and didn’t secure it until nightfall. Hannah stepped into the warm kitchen with Norman following at her heels, and called out to Grandma Knudson.

“Hi, Grandma Knudson! It’s Hannah, and Norman came with me. Are you here?”

“We’re in the sitting room,” Grandma Knudson answered in what Hannah thought was a surprisingly strong voice. “Help yourself to a cup of coffee and come on back.”

“We’re in the sitting room?” Norman repeated, frowning slightly.

“That’s what she said. I heard it, too. Maybe somebody from the church is here.”

Norman nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. “I’ll get the coffee. You carry the chocolate cookie bars in.”

It didn’t take long for Norman to pour two cups of coffee. Since both of them drank it black, there was no need to look around for cream and sugar. Norman, a cup in each hand, followed Hannah as she led the way to Grandma Knudson’s sitting room.

“We’re here!” Hannah said cheerily, stepping into the room. “I brought you some chocolate …”

“Whoa!” Norman exclaimed, almost spilling their coffee as Hannah stopped abruptly in her tracks. “What in the world is…oh!”

For a long moment, no one spoke. Hannah and Norman stood there in shock, staring at the man seated on Grandma Knudson’s pink davenport.

“Hello, Hannah and Norman.” Grandma Knudson turned in her chair to greet them. “Meet the real Reverend Matthew Walters. He came to see me the second that he heard he was dead.”

“You look exactly like him!” Hannah said, once explanations had been given.

“I know,” the real Reverend Matthew said. “We always looked alike. I still don’t know why Paul came here pretending to be me, but I certainly intend to find out. My poor secretary was beside herself when she heard that I was dead.”

“Colleen?” Hannah asked, unable to resist a little test of her own.

“Corrine,” Reverend Matthew corrected her. “I was visiting some friends in Wisconsin, and I called in to see if I had any messages. I thought Corrine was going to faint when she heard my voice.”

“You gave me a nasty shock, too,” Grandma Knudson said, “even though you tried not to startle me.”

“I know I did,” Reverend Matthew said, getting up to stand behind Grandma Knudson’s chair and pat her shoulder. “I’m so sorry about that. There just wasn’t any easy way to tell you.”

Grandma Knudson reached up to put her hand over his. “Well, I’m happy now. You have no idea how horrible I felt when I …”

“It’s not good to dwell on it,” Reverend Matthew interrupted her. “Have one of Hannah’s cookie bars. The sugar will do you good.”