Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story) (7 page)

“Wow, sixty-five years. That’s amazing, congratulations.”

“Thank you. Do you have a husband?”

I shake my head.

“Well, why not?”

“I don’t know. I always seem to fall for the wrong guys.”

She smiles at me and sets her tea down. She finally lets go of her husband’s hand and grabs mine. “Don’t worry, dear, it will happen and most likely when you least expect it. Just follow your heart; it’ll
never
steer you wrong.”

“Thanks for saying that. I hope my day will come.” I continue on my way, so she can spend some time with her husband alone before he is taken away. The rest of my day flies by; things pick up and we do end up getting really busy. Before I know it, I’m debriefing the night crew.

Walking out of the hospital my body feels spent. I’m so tired that I just want to sleep in my car, but I can’t, so I drive home. On the drive, my mind drifts to Abel. I have to admit to myself that I miss him, and I miss him a lot. I find myself wondering why he hasn’t called, but I guess I should be glad he seems to be backing off. It’s better this way, right? After what Vincent told me, I know keeping it platonic is definitely the safest option. Deep down, I repeatedly tell myself that things will not go any further, hoping to control the spiraling feelings inside of me.

The woman tonight told me to follow my heart, and before I know it I’m going against the logic of my mind and doing just that. I pick up my phone and dial Abel’s number. He doesn’t answer. I know I should leave a message, but I don’t.

I pull into the garage and head inside. I can’t wait until Bridgette lives here; coming home every night alone is getting old. I change out of my scrubs and into some pajamas. I really should shower after working all day, but I decide that I’ll do it tomorrow.

I stretch out on the couch and call Abel again. He doesn’t answer, so I call my sister. I haven’t talked to her in what feels like forever. While we talk I tinker around with my iPad and she rambles on about a new guy she’s into and then my battery dies. Shit, I hate cell phones. She was just about to tell me about a date she went on the other night, and then nothing. To add to my annoyance, these stupid phones take at least ten minutes to boot back up. Since I’m feeling lazy and can e-mail her from my iPad, I do and tell her,
I’m sorry my phone died
. I’ll charge it later or when I head to bed.

Getting comfy on the couch, I flip on the TV to an episode of
The Deadliest Catch
. As I watch it my eyelids get heavy, and just as I drift off, the doorbell rings causing me to jump.
Who the hell is coming here so late?
I really wish I had a roommate here during times like this. I look out the peephole. With his head down, I can see it’s Abel. I unlock the door, causing his head jerk up and he looks into my eyes. I can see the worry on his face. He again is covered in soot and looks exhausted.

“Hey, are you okay?” I ask.

“I’m fine. I was worried when you wouldn’t pick up your phone. I’ve been trying to call you for almost an hour.”

I open the door all the way and he walks inside. “I’m sorry. I was on the phone with my sister and then the stupid battery died.”

He is dressed in his cargo pants and Denver Fire t-shirt. It looks like he hasn’t slept for a week. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask.

“Yeah. We’ve been rotating twenty-hour shifts on a wildfire down south. This is the first time I’ve been back to the city in a week. I can’t wait to shower and eat a good meal, but I wanted to check on you first.”

“Why don’t you shower here and I’ll cook for you?”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I’ll wash your clothes for you if you want.”

“You don’t have to do that. I have a bag in my truck.”

“Perfect. Go get in the shower and I’ll cook. Do you want anything in particular?”

He looks at me with a grin on his face. “Nothing special, kitten. Just food and a lot of it.”

I go into the kitchen and inspect what I have so I can make him a good meal. I realize then I haven’t eaten dinner either. He walks back in with his bag over his shoulder.

“You can use my bathroom; it’s in my room. There are towels under the sink.”

“Thanks,” he says and walks upstairs.

I turn my attention back to the fridge and off of his perfect ass. I decide on making us some Italian subs, and since I have some leftover noodles, I make my version of an antipasto salad.

Just as I cut the sandwiches in half, Abel walks downstairs wearing a clean white t-shirt with his tattoos faintly visible through the fabric and a pair of black shorts.

“Is it okay with you if we eat on the couch?” I ask him.

“Of course. Do you need help with anything?”

“Nope. You sit and relax.”

He flops down on the sofa and I can see the exhaustion on his face. I walk over holding our drinks in my hands and balance the plates on top of the cups. I hand him his and he takes it and then takes mine.

“Are these Italian subs?” he asks.

“Yup, is that okay?”

“Is that okay? These are my all-time favorite. When it’s my turn to cook at the station, I just order Jimmy Johns.”

“Good. Well, I hope you like them.” I cross my legs underneath me and watch Abel as he devours his sandwich. I can barely finish half of mine when his plate is clean.

“Do you want my other half?”

“Sure, if you’re not going to finish it.”

I shake my head and he takes it off of my plate, again devouring it. I finish my antipasto and put my plate on the table in front of us.

“Was it good?” I ask.

“It was the best, way better than Jimmy John’s. Next time I have to cook at the station, you have to come down and make these for the guys. They’ll love them.”

“Okay. I would be happy to.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

He leans over and encloses me in his arms, hugging me tightly to his warm body. “Thank you for the food and the shower.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s nice to see you. I’ve missed you.”

He tilts his head to the side and looks from my eyes to my lips. He leans back into the sofa pulling me along with him. I comply and stretch my body along his. Once we’re laid back, he wraps his other arm around me and I rest my cheek on his chest, looking at the colors from his tattoos, as they force their way to the surface through the light fabric. I trace my finger over a heart I can see that says ‘Mom.’ I remember Alexa telling me how Abel and Vincent lost their mom in a tragic car accident about five years ago.

Neither of us speaks and I enjoy the quiet time in his arms. As I rest my hand on his chest, I realize that his nipples are pierced. The pressure from my fingers shows the barbells straining against the fabric. This time, I can’t resist and I lean up lifting his t-shirt so I can see everything that’s underneath.

The detail is exquisite; his tattoos are a beautiful mixture of color and black and gray. Some are pictures while others are script. I can’t stop my hand from touching him. As soon as my fingers press into his hard skin, he freezes. His breathing stops and he is watching my hand.

“Is this okay?” I whisper.

He looks at me letting out the breath he was holding. Nodding his head he reaches up and cups the back of my head. I lean into his touch and let him pull me to him. My face is only inches from his.

“I’m going to kiss you, Cara.”

I don’t speak, I don’t hesitate, instead I move my lips to meet his. The instant our mouths touch, a flame erupts within me.
Finally.
His lips are soft and warm, a heady combination. He moves them slowly over mine and tightly grips my hair. I moan a little as he sucks on my bottom lip. My hands explore his body, feeling every curve and contour of him. Each bump of his six-pack moves beneath my fingers like ridges of a mountain. I continue exploring him until I get to the waistband of his shorts.

I want to put my hand inside so badly.
God, I want him; I need him.
I resist and straddle him instead, pressing my body firmly against his. In between my legs his erection is present and large; it makes my mouth go mad. I take over the kiss and am no longer being patient or gentle. I part his lips with my tongue and caress his, really feeling what it’s like to kiss him. It has been so long that we’ve waited for this, and I can’t question him any longer. My mind has insisted it’s wrong, but my heart is screaming this is so right.

His hands are resting on my hips holding my body, and I need more of him. I pull back and look into his eyes. Lying beneath me, his eyelids are heavy. I stare at him as he breathes, taking deep breaths and keeping my body in a vice grip against his.

“Cara, I need you to tell me what you want. I don’t want you to regret any of this.”

“Abel, I want you.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod my head and he flips us over, so I’m now pinned underneath him. He holds his weight off of me, leaning back down to kiss me. This time he is aggressive. He shows no mercy with me and controls the kiss just how he wants it. I slide my hands up his back, under his shirt and rake my fingernails down his back. “Will you take this off?” I ask.

He sits up and removes his t-shirt throwing it across the room. I grab his biceps and pull myself up into him as I remove my shirt. He looks down at my perky breasts and grabs them, feeling and caressing the hardened mounds. He doesn’t waste a second exploring my nipples with his fingers.

“I knew your nipples were pink like your lips. I bet your pussy is just as pink.”

I lift my hips and shimmy down my pants. He helps me take them all the way off, but doesn’t rush what we’re doing. He comes back to kiss me, and boy, does he kiss me. The possession he takes of my mouth is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. His tongue is strong, yet gentle. Everything about him is incredible. His right hand leaves my breast and moves down my rib cage and then across my stomach. Once he reaches my sex, he looks at me with pure lust.

“I need you to tell me what you want.”

“I already told you.”

“Tell me again, Cara. Tell me how much you want me.”

“Please, Abel, I need you. You’re all I think about.”

He dips a finger between my wet pussy lips and stops moving, asking. “How much?”

“Fuck. A lot. Okay? Please don’t make me wait any longer.”

His skilled fingers work magic on my clit, circling and moving in just the right way to make me crazy. Slowly, he glides his finger inside of me and moves it in and out.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight. I don’t know if I’ll fit.”

“You’ll fit,” I moan as he slides a second finger inside of me.

“That’s it, stretch for me,” he says. His movements expand my already swollen pussy. With each movement of his hand, I move my hips matching his rhythm. He moves down the couch so he is kneeling between my legs. With his fingers still inside of me, he nestles his mouth around my clit. The feeling of both sensations combined makes me want to come. He pulls his mouth away and watches his fingers move in and out of me.

I lean up on my elbows and look at him as he kisses the inside of my thigh. Pulling his fingers out, he lies back on top of me and looks deep into my eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

I nod my head.

“Do you have any condoms?”

“No! Do you?”

He shakes his head.

“Damn it, Abel! You’re the one with a penis. How do you not have a condom?”

He scratches his head. “I don’t know. I always use them, but when I met you I threw them all out. I thought that we would never get to do this, and I haven’t wanted anybody else. You made it pretty clear that you’d put me in the friend zone.”

“Damn it,” I snap and throw myself back into the couch.

He leans over me and asks, “Are you on birth control?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then we don’t need one,” he says and kisses my neck. He continues in between kisses, “Plus, I want to feel your pussy without anything separating us.”

I nod my head, because it’s true — I am on the pill and I want him, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I watch as he stands to remove his shorts. Holy shit, he is right; I don’t know if he will fit inside of me. I sit up to get a better look at him. He moves closer to me and I love that his thighs are tattooed. I don’t waste a second grabbing him and jerking his cock up and down. As a small drop of cum escapes the tip, I lick it up before it drips off.

“Fuck, I didn’t expect that,” he murmurs.

“You have no idea. Watch this.”

I slide his massive cock into my mouth and am pissed that it won’t go all the way down. I don’t have a gag reflex, but his length and my throat just don’t match. I move up and down as far as I can. My eyes are closed and I love every minute of finally being able to do this with him.

“Damn, kitten, you’re about to make me come.”

I stop and look up at him. His brows are creased and he looks exhausted.

“Sit down,” I say and pat the couch next to me.

He does so and I climb on top of him. He reaches between us and guides his dick inside of me as I lower my body onto him. He fits. He’s huge and it’s tight, but fuck, it feels so good. Once he’s buried as far in me as he can go I wrap my arms around his neck.

Facing him, I move up, all the while his hands explore my body helping to lead me. I can’t help but moan and make noises; I’ve never felt anything like this before. Looking into my eyes, he pulls me to him. My lips hit his and we get lost kissing and fucking each other. Abel makes the sexiest noise as we fuck. It’s a low, deep moan and I know he’s enjoying what we’re doing.

I slam my body harder on him, but it’s not enough. I need more; I want to feel all of him.

“Harder,” I demand.

He stops and lifts me off of him. Turning me around he directs me to kneel on the couch. “You like it rough, Cara? Bend over and I’ll give it to you harder.”

I bend over. Now on all fours with him behind me, slowly he fills me, and then pulls back out. He keeps the rhythm steady and I want more. I clench my pussy muscles tightly around him and he stops.

“Don’t do that, or I’ll come, baby.”

“Then fuck me hard, Abel.”

He reaches for my breasts, pulling me up, my back against his chest. I’m still kneeling on the couch and he has my body pressed against his. He begins to move and I wrap my arms around his neck behind me, pulling his mouth to mine. Finally turning away I try not to come. Every move he makes pushes me millimeters away from shattering.