Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story) (2 page)

Why will my hair never cooperate? Not that it matters, but still, I don’t want to look like garbage. I try again to pull my brush through my thick blond hair. I look over my shoulder at the clock on my nightstand.
Damn it.
I’m running late — again. I finish ripping the brush through my tangled strands. God, it needs a cut; it’s almost to my ass. I slide on my red, patent leather flats and leave my room.

I have ten minutes to make it to the theater to meet my best friend, Alexa, and her new boyfriend, Vincent. Alexa said Vincent’s brother is going to be there. She also told me he’s covered in tattoos, which is my typical MO, but I’ve turned over a new leaf.
I know it’s going to be hard to resist, but that was the old Cara. The new Cara has sworn off tattooed bad boys.

Sliding behind the wheel of my Audi A4, I toss my purse on the passenger seat and fly out of the neighborhood. Of course traffic sucks; it’s always bad in Denver this time of day. I roll along, wishing I could go faster, but I can’t. You know what, who cares? It’s not like I care what this guy thinks, and Alexa is always late.

I pull up to the theater and it takes forever to find a parking spot close to the entrance. Once I do, I’m out and heading towards the front. I look for Alexa and Vincent, but don’t see them. Ahh, there they are.

“Hey, girl. You look cute. I hope you brought a sweater,” Alexa says.

“Thanks, and no, I didn’t. Why would I need a sweater in August?”

“Come on, you know how cold theaters get, and you’re barely wearing any clothes.”

Before I can answer I look up and see a tattooed god.
Shit.
Is that Vincent’s brother? As we walk towards him, his eyes are glued to mine, and my heart starts to race. His hat is low, just how I like. He has his hands tucked into his pockets, making his forearms flex and his tattoos that much more visible. I look away from his hazel eyes.
Pull your shit together, Cara. You’re done with guys like this.

“I’ll keep her warm,” he says.

The hell you will
.

It’s time to be a bitch.
I laugh at him, “I’ll be just fine, thank you very much.”

“Are you sure? I’m happy to do the job,” he says looking deep into my eyes. His intensity makes me instantly wet between my legs. It takes all of my willpower to not play right into his game. Then he grabs my hand and kisses the top of it. My body tingles from his touch, and instantly I want more.

Fuck. I need more.

As I snap out of it, I pull my hand away from his and wipe it on his shoulder. I will
not
be hurt by another asshole with tattoos. Quickly I walk ahead of him and latch onto Alexa, leaving Abel behind and pushing away the emotions he has coursing through my body.

I hit the pavement hard, running in my Nikes. I push myself to try and clear my head as the music blasts through my earbuds. These last eight months have been frustrating to say the least. I’ve made it my mission to avoid Abel, but for some reason, everywhere I turn … there he is. He is determined to win me over by any means necessary, and I’m not going to give in. I’m focusing on myself, plain and simple. Or at least that’s what I keep saying to convince my own mind that he’s out to hurt me, like all the douchebags from my past. I’ve tried to be a bitch, but it just makes him push that much more. His determination drives me mad with sexual energy. He does things to me; my body reacts to his intensity and grit like nothing I’ve ever known. He makes my heart pound and I instantly lose focus. All I can think about are his hands on my body … and that mouth.

I come up to a streetlight and have to stop. I lean over to catch my breath, resting my hands on my knees, breathing in rigidly until the light changes, and then I mentally whip myself to keep going. I feel winded, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t clear my head. By the time my iPod stops the playlist I set it on, I look down and realize I’ve been running for over an hour. Turning around, I head back and keep a steady pace. Feeling parched from being unprepared and bolting out of the house without a water bottle, I spot a smoothie shop and head towards it.

When I walk in, there’s a small line but it allows me to mull over the menu. I decide on my order right as I’m called. While I wait for my drink, I look out at the beautiful Cherry Creek District that is my home. The snow has all melted and spring is in full effect. The trees are blooming and the grass is almost green. The door chimes open and I look to see a guy I recognize from the hospital come in. He looks right at me and smiles. If I remember correctly, I think he works in Radiation.

“Cara, is that you?” he asks.

“Yup. It’s Ben, right?”

“Yeah. What are you doing here?” he asks tilting his head to the side.

“I’m on my way home from a run and thought I would grab a smoothie. What about you?”

“I just got done with a yoga class. I usually come here afterwards.”

They call my drink and he grabs it, handing it to me with the straw.

I smile at him. “Thanks. Are you going to order?”

He bobs his head and we get in line together. Ben is a little taller than me, probably five ten. His hair is blonde and his eyes are blue. He’s not the kind of guy I would typically be interested in, but this is the new Cara, so I force myself to see if there’s any chemistry. I
need
to let go of all
thoughts of Abel.

Ben orders and once his drink is ready he asks, “Do you want to sit outside?”

“Sure,” I say. Following him as he opens the door for me, we find a tiny table in the sun.

“So, Cara, tell me about yourself,” he says with a straight expression on his face. He is completely open about wanting to get to know me. I shrug my shoulders not sure where to start. He laughs at me. “Okay, I’ll start then. I’ll tell you one thing about me and you have to tell me the same thing about yourself.” I nod my head, liking this game already. It makes him have to come up with the questions.

“My favorite food is Italian.”

“My favorite food is anything seafood.”

He cocks an eyebrow at me, “See? That wasn’t so hard.”

I laugh and take a sip of my smoothie.

“I have a dog.”

“I don’t have any pets.”

“I’m single.”

“I’m single too.”

He smiles, “I work today.”

“I work today too.”

“Will you have lunch with me then?” he asks.

I smile and nod my head, unsure of how to respond to his brazenness.

“Good, I’ll swing by and grab you.” He looks down at his watch, “I gotta run. I have another yoga class to teach.” He gets up and pulls his sunglasses down over his eyes. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.”

He turns around and walks off, his shorts hugging his ass in just the right way. While I watch him, I wonder, could I be attracted to someone like him? He seems genuine and has a fun personality. I guess at lunch I’ll find out more. If anything he will help keep my mind off Abel and stick to the new Cara.

I finish my smoothie and throw the cup away. Then I sprint home, shower, and head to work. I hate working swing shifts, and I’ve had to work a lot of them lately. As soon as I get to work and head to check on my first patient, I hear my name called over the intercom.

“Cara Savannah to reception, Cara Savannah to reception.” Damn it, I bet there’s another walk-in to the ER demanding that I have them seen quicker than the two-hour wait they’ve been quoted. I place the clipboard on the slot of Mr. Parson’s door and head out.

“Hey, Margaret, you paged me?”

“Yes, dear, you have a visitor.”

I give her a surprised look. Who would be visiting me here at work? She points into the waiting area of the ER, and leaning up against the wall is Abel. As soon as I look at him, he smirks at me, and I swallow hard.
What is he doing here?
He’s clearly working, dressed in his Denver Fire gear. I exit and head towards him, a mixture of butterflies and sexual frenzy flowing through my system. I mask that by putting on my angry face.

“What are you doing here?” I snap.

“Well, hello to you as well,” he says giving me that panty-dropping smile and continues, “We’re doing our monthly inspection and I thought I would say hi.”

I cross my arms over my chest in my pink scrubs, pretending to have a dislike for him, when really I want exactly what he is pushing for. “Hi,” I sarcastically quip back.

“Really, you’re going to act like that?”

“Like what? You came to say hi, so I returned the gesture. Do you need anything else?”

Clearly I’ve frustrated him, because he runs his hands over his face and his brown hair. Looking back into my eyes, he grabs my arm and drags me outside. I follow along, enjoying his touch way too much to try and pull away. Once we are outside and alone, he locks his eyes with mine. He is inches from my face and I can feel his hot breath on my skin. He smells fucking delicious, making my entire body tingle.

“Cara, have I done something to upset you?” he demands.

I shake my head.

“Then what’s your problem? Obviously there is something going on between us and you’ve been fighting it for months.”

“I don’t have a problem. I’m just surprised to see you here. And for the record, I’m not interested in dating anyone.”

“Good, neither am I.”

An awkward silence takes over and all I can focus on is the sound of our breathing. It’s harsh and ragged. He still has a tight grip on my arm, and his hand is hot. I imagine what it would feel like on the rest of my body. He leans into my neck and I clamp my eyes shut. He doesn’t move as his breath continues to wash over my skin. He takes his right arm and slides it behind me, pulling me tightly against him. Instinctively I lean my head to the side and wait for his lips to drench my skin. A loud horn goes off causing me to jump. Abel barely moves and when I look at him, he is looking into my eyes.

I look behind him and a huge fire truck is parked in front of the ER entrance. I feel his grip on me loosen as our eyes reconnect.

“This isn’t finished,” he says.

But it is. It has to be. I promised myself not to get involved with someone like him. Call me a bitch, or whatever you want, but I’ve had my heart smashed way too many times by guys just like this. I’ve never been in an honest and trusting relationship and I want that. I know with Abel, it’s not possible. Not with what I’ve heard about his womanizing track record from Lex. I’ve lasted eight months fighting this, and I’m not about to give in now.

“Yes. It is,” I whisper.

I turn and walk away from what feels so right, but I
know
deep down is wrong. For the remainder of the day, I dive into my work and keep busy concentrating on my patients. There’s a reason I’m a nurse — it’s internally healing and therapeutic to have an impact on other people’s lives. I keep that as my focus until I turn around and see that sitting on my desk at the nurses’ station is a yellow rose. There’s a note beneath it with my name written in cursive.

Meet me on the roof at 6:00pm for our lunch-dinner. ☺ Ben

Ahh, what a sweet guy. I check my watch and it’s a quarter till six. I find Elaina, my boss, and clear my lunchtime with her. I have butterflies in my stomach because of the excitement. I know that it’s only fifteen minutes, but I just might keel over in anticipation. Trying to keep busy, I pace the floor and make sure all of my patients are okay, the minutes feeling like hours, and finally I look at the clock and see it’s 5:59. I bolt, waving bye to Elaina as I pass her office. On the elevator ride up, each floor ticks by and I know time is dragging only because I
love
surprises. I mean, I really,
really
love them.

Once the doors finally open, I exit and walk down the white hallway that leads to the roof. My palms are sweaty as I reach for the door handle. I open it and Ben is up here, sitting with his back to me at the edge of the roof. When the door clicks shut, he turns towards me. Getting up with a huge smile on his face he walks to me. “You made it,” he says giving me a hug.

“Of course I did. Were you having doubts?”

He rubs the back of his head, “Nah.”

Bullshit.

But I’m not about to call him out on it. I don’t know him well enough. “Come on. The sun’s about to set,” he says walking to the edge where he has a blanket laid out and two boxed lunches.

“This is really sweet of you. Thank you,” I say.

“No problem. I did what I could considering we are both working. So take your pick, tuna or turkey.”

“You know I love seafood. I’ll take the tuna.”

“That’s why I got it.”

As we sit, I wonder why I’ve never come up here myself. Sitting down, my feet dangle over the edge and my stomach tightens with excitement as I stare at the ground. I love heights and anything that sparks an adrenaline rush. Taking my eyes off of the ground, I pull them up to the sky and I’m stunned by the sight in front of me. The sky is a mixture of pinks and blues.

“Damn, it’s gorgeous.”

“It is. Do you ever come up here?” he asks.

“No, I don’t.”

“Really? Why not?”

I can’t help but giggle. “I was just wondering the same thing. I guess I’ve never thought of it. In the ER, I’m so busy, when I take a break I grab some food and head back.”