Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story) (6 page)

I swallow hard, feeling all of the color rush to my face. I’m blushing like I’ve never blushed before. Abel smirks at me, and I bury my head in my knees. His cat comes over to me and starts to rub on my arm. I look at the cat and it meows at me. “I know, Puss; I feel the same way,” Abel says.

“You named your cat Puss?” I ask.

“Yup, I did. So pet Puss, then we’re going to eat.”

Answer your phone twat-waffle.
I look down at my phone reading the text as Abel drives me home. I forgot I had plans with Alexa this morning, and we were supposed to eat breakfast. Well, now it’s almost noon so she’s going to have to settle for lunch.

Abel pulls his black Ford truck in front of my condo and I turn to him. “Thank you for last night. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you or did anything stupid.”

He turns towards me with his eyebrows creased and rests his elbow on the center console. “You could never embarrass me, and last night you were far from stupid.”

I smile at him and open my door. “Thanks for saying that. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Yes, you will.”

As I shut my door, my phone rings and I look down at it. It’s Alexa and I know she is in full-blown crazy mode. I walk off from Abel towards my condo and answer her call.

“Hey, Lex.”

“What the hell, Cara, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. I think I may have eaten something bad last night, because I feel like shit and didn’t sleep well.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry. Well, I guess breakfast is out of the question?”

I can’t help but laugh at her. “Lex, it’s almost noon.”

“You’re right; it is. Okay, well, let’s try and get together this week for dinner? I have a hair appointment this afternoon or I would say we could hang out later.”

“That’s okay, dinner sounds great.”

“Do you need me to bring you anything?”

“No, thanks, I’m going to take a nap. I’ll text you later.”

“Feel better. Bye.”

I hang up and walk into my room to shower. I slowly peel my clothes off, still feeling bone-tired. I wonder how I got undressed last night. Did Abel do it for me?

The water is hot, and I wash my body just wanting to crawl into bed. Running my hands over my breasts, I can’t stop myself from going farther down and touching in between my legs. Fuck, it has been too long since I’ve been with anyone. I start to rub slow circles, and then stop when I hear my phone ring. I rinse and get out looking at the screen. It was Abel. I call him right back.

“Sorry, I was in the shower,” I say as he answers.

“No biggie. I just wanted to check in on you and see how you’re feeling.”

“I’m okay, just tired.”

“Are you still in your towel?” he asks.

“Yes. Why do you always want to know what I’m wearing?”

“Drop your towel, Cara,” he commands.

I look around my room like he’s here. Unsure as to why I am even considering doing this, I drop it. My breathing is quick, and he has my body tingling.

“Did you do it?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Good, now lie on your bed.”

Again listening to his commands, I walk to the bed and sit down. Lying backwards, I stretch my naked body across the cool, white fabric.

I can hear his deep breathing into the phone. “Close your eyes and listen to me. Take your hands and caress your breasts. I want you to squeeze them just how you want me to do it for you.” I keep my mouth closed to try and muffle the noises wanting to escape me.

“With the tips of yours fingers, pinch your nipples imagining that my body is lying on top of yours. I’m going to take my mouth and wrap it around one of your hard, pink nipples. I know they’re pink like your lips, Cara.”

I can’t stop myself from moaning into the phone as I touch myself. It’s as though he’s here with me.

“Good girl. Now take your other hand and slide it down your body. I want you to slowly explore every curve of yourself. Remember this is me doing this to you.”

“Mmm-hmm,” I say as my left hand teases my nipple and my other slowly moves, gliding over my rib cage then to my hip.

“Don’t touch yourself until I tell you,” he murmurs.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“I’m unzipping my pants and I’m going to grab my cock. I can feel your lips on me as you lick and suck the head while I squeeze the base. Your lips are so soft as they move up and down. I’m taking my free hand to touch your pussy. I want you to slowly spread your swollen lips and show me how you want me to touch you.”

“Fuck, Abel,” I cry into the phone.

“Yes, baby, just like that. Show me how you like it. How do you want me to make you come?”

I start to whimper and cry as my body is close to orgasm. I hear his breathing become fast and harsh as we both pleasure each other. The feeling is so strong it is as though we are not doing this over the phone.

“Come with me, Cara,” he growls into the phone.

I let go, crying loudly. I scream his name rubbing myself aggressively. Abel grunts and I know he is coming too. Once my body stops convulsing, I feel a little embarrassed.

“Fuck, that was good, Cara. I want you so bad; imagine how good we could be together.”

“I know, but I can’t risk getting hurt again.”

I ring the doorbell and wait outside of Alexa and Vincent’s house. We’re having dinner tonight and I came prepared with dessert and a bottle of Alexa’s favorite wine. She opens the door and has the biggest smile on her face when she sees me.

“Hey, doll,” she says and wraps me in a big hug.

I walk into their home and notice the smell immediately. Vincent is in the kitchen with his back to us cooking away. “Hey, Vincent,” I say. He turns around and gives me a side hug. He is so brotherly and I love him for that.

“Thank you guys for having me.”

“Of course,” Alexa says. “So tell us what’s new with you.”

I shake my head because the first thing that pops into my mind is Abel. I’m not going to tell them about the BBQ, and I’m sure as hell not telling them about the phone sex. “I’m not here to talk about me. Tell me all about the proposal — did he get down on one knee, and do you love the ring?”

Her face lights up thinking back on things with Vincent. “Cara, it was perfect, our room was all set up with white rose petals and candles. And yes, you know how he is, of course he got down on one knee.”

I squeal with happiness for my best friend. “Let me see your ring”

She happily shows me the oval cut diamond that I act like I’ve never seen before. “It’s beautiful,” I gush.

“Alright, ladies, let’s eat,” Vincent interrupts us and walks by with a pan of deliciousness.

Both Alexa and I hop up from the kitchen island and go into the dining room.

“So, Cara, have you seen Abel at all lately?” Vincent asks.

I freeze midair with a forkful of food. “Nope. Why do you ask?”

“He has just made it extremely clear lately that he’s interested in you, so I wanted to see how you were handling that battle.”

I laugh and try to think of what to say. “There’s no battle there. I haven’t seen or talked to him in a while. I told you both, I’m over guys like him. I’m not willing to put my heart out there and get it hurt again.”

“Good. I think that’s smart of you. Since college, he hasn’t has a steady girlfriend and everything I know about the girls he’s been with since is basically a horror story of a string of hookups that he’s used for sex or whatever else he wanted. Cara, you’re like a sister to me; I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

I smile at Vincent, but on the inside I feel sick. It hurts to hear that Abel only uses women. But it’s all the confirmation I need to know that I’m making the right decision.

“Well, enough about Abel. I want to hear about you two. How is it living together and being engaged? Vincent, have you cracked her bitchy morning attitude yet?”

They look at one another and he drapes his arm over her shoulder. “I’m still working on the whole morning situation. As long as I keep my phone quiet and wake her up with Starbucks, she’s happy.”

I watch my best friend smile from ear to ear. Vincent completes her, he makes her whole, and with him she is truly happy. I’ve never wanted anything more for her than this. She has been through so much hurt and pain in her life; she really deserves her happily ever after. I hope one day I can have mine.

My fingers fly over the keyboard of my phone as I text Bridgette, Alexa’s spunky little sister. I look at the time and I have ten minutes left of my break before I have to head back to work. She texted me about staying with me after she graduates, and I think it’s a fabulous idea. I’m really excited to have a roommate again and I adore Bridgette, so it’s an ideal situation.

I throw my sandwich wrapper away and run right smack dab into Ben. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” I ask as coffee spills out the top of his cup and onto his hand.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” he says and licks the coffee off of his skin.

“Listen, I never got a chance to apologize for how my friend acted. Every time I came to talk, you were busy with a patient. I’m really sorry, he had no right to attack you like that. Can you forgive me and I’ll buy you lunch, this time it’ll be my treat?”

He looks at me with a curious expression. “So he’s not your boyfriend?”

“Oh God, no! He’s just a really good friend and can be overprotective.”

“Fine, but you’re not paying. I am.”

I nod my head. “Okay, does Monday work?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

I glance at the clock on my phone. “Sorry, I gotta run. See you next week.”

He waves at me and I leave him behind heading back into the ER. Jamie is updating our patient board when I return.

“Alright, girl, I’m back. You can go to lunch,” I say.

“Great, I’m starving. I’ll see you in a bit.”

I smile at her as she walks off. Sitting at my computer, I keep busy checking my e-mail and the status of my orders. Rarely are things this quiet in here, and quite frankly I don’t know if I like the silence. I fill out a few of my charts before I get up to start my rounds.

I walk into room 112 and sitting on the chair next to the bed is a small, elderly woman. She has her head down and looks to be crying. She is tightly gripping the hand of the man lying in the bed. When I look at him I realize his color is gone and he has passed away.

I walk around to her and gently place my hand on her back. She turns to look at me as if she hadn’t noticed I was in the room.

“Hey. Can I get you anything?”

She shakes her head and more tears wash over her eyes. I don’t say anything else; all I can do is just stand there with her. After about ten minutes, I leave her to go and inform all of the proper people. I return to her side with a cup of tea, and she hasn’t moved.

“Here, I brought this for you. It’s important you take care of yourself during a time like this.”

She takes the tea from me. “Thank you, dear,” she says.

“Of course. I’m
so
sorry for your loss.”

“It’s okay, sweetie. Fred and I were together for sixty-five years. I wouldn’t change a day of the time we shared. We knew one day this would happen. This isn’t goodbye; I’ll see him again one day.”