Desperately Seeking Heaven (11 page)

‘Shall we just forget it and go home? Maybe we can phone Donna and arrange an appointment to see her or send her a letter or something. Like any sensible person would.’

‘Don’t be silly, we’re nearly there now. Come on,’ she urged, grabbing me by the arm. ‘We want to get in before the crowds arrive, get the best vantage point.’

Once inside, I was disappointed when Lexie refused to order me a nice warming mug of hot chocolate. Apparently they didn’t do them. What kind of establishment was this, I wondered? Instead, I had to content myself with a glass of orange juice and found a seat on one of the corner leather couches, trying my best to warm up.

‘It’s a bit quiet, isn’t it?’ I said, looking around the darkened room, picking out the occasional shadowy figures.

‘Well, it’s early yet,’ Lexie said curtly, as if I’d said something obviously stupid.

I looked at my watch. Ten-thirty wasn’t early in my book.

‘Can’t you at least pretend to be pleased to be here? Remember it’s me that’s doing you a favour. You don’t want to draw attention to us, do you?’

‘Sorry, Lexie.’ I hated nightclubs. Hated the way my bare thighs were sticking to the oversized couch. Hated the way everyone eyed one another up, as if deciding on whether to plump for the sherry trifle or the apple pie from the dessert trolley. The whole scene made me feel uncomfortable, even more so in my ridiculous outfit.

Two hours later, the place was just beginning to fill up and it was a job to make out who was who under the subdued lighting.

‘Wait here,’ said Lexie, ‘I’ll go and do a quick recce, see if I can spot Donna.’

‘OK.’ I leaned against a pillar, watching my sister disappear into the crowds, only slightly fearful that I might be abducted into the white slave trade.

‘Hello, darling,’ a deeply lecherous voice rang in my ear, ‘what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?’

‘Jimmy!’ I couldn’t help but smile, a warm fuzzy feeling filling my insides. His cheeky expression popping up when you least expected it always lifted my spirits, but then I remembered he was the reason I was sitting in this godforsaken place in the first place.

‘The things I do for you,’ I said, huffily. ‘I hope this is worth all the effort. You haven’t seen Donna around, have you?’

‘Not yet,’ he grinned, helping himself to a sip of my drink, ‘but I have it on good authority she’ll be turning up later.’

‘Really? How do you know that?’

He laughed, slipped an arm around my waist and, taking me by surprise, pulled me in tight to his body.

‘Do you want to dance?’ His voice came out in a whisper, the subdued lighting adding to the intimacy of our embrace.

‘I’d love to,’ I said, laughing, wrapping my arms around his neck. My breathing quickened as my body melded against his and we swayed in time to the beat of the music. Looking up into his eyes it was easy to imagine meeting him like this for the first time under different circumstances. Meeting him as a real live living man! How surreal would that have been? It was almost too poignant to consider.

‘You have to remember I have insider information,’ he said, his eyes gently mocking me.

‘How? Tell me.’ I banged my fist on his chest playfully. ‘I need to know these things.’

‘I’ve told you,’ he said laughing. He spun me around at arm’s length, before pulling me back close to this body which did nothing for my already giddy state. ‘I just visualise that person in my head, concentrate on them for a few seconds, and whoosh I’m there. It’s pretty cool.’

I gazed up at him in awe and adoration. Not only was he the most gorgeous man I had ever set my eyes on, but he could do things no other man could ever do. It was the deadliest combination.

‘Cool, yes! I wish I could have a go. That would be so amazing.’

‘No, really you don’t, Alice. Be careful what you wish for and all that.’

‘Yeah, sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight.’ To be honest, it was difficult to think of anything when I was still pressed hard against his body. If this was what clubbing was all about then I could definitely get used to it.

‘So we ought to hang around a while, you reckon?’

‘Definitely. She’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.’ He sat me back down again. ‘Anyway, I’m going to shoot. I only wanted to check that you were both OK. It’s probably best if I don’t hang around. I’ll get back to the flat. But any problems, just give me a call.’

‘OK,’ I said feeling deflated, all my energy and enthusiasm leaving the building with Jimmy.

Moments later, Lexie breezed back, shaking her head.

‘Nope, there’s no sign of her yet. I suppose there was no guarantee she would come tonight. We might have to admit defeat and come back some other time.’

‘No, she’s definitely coming,’ I said, taking a nonchalant sip from my drink.

Lexie raised her eyebrows questioningly. ‘Really?’

‘I feel it in my bones,’ I added unconvincingly.

‘OK. So that means Jimmy’s here then, is he?’

Rumbled, I could only shrug my shoulders.

‘Well, he was here a minute ago,’ I said, looking around, realising he’d already done his disappearing act. ‘He reckons she’s coming, but who knows? Maybe we should give it another half an hour or so then call it a night.’

‘Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. Wait here, I’ll go and get us another drink. How about something stronger this time? You look like a Girl Guide sitting there sipping on your orange juice.’

I laughed. Certainly I’d have felt a lot more at home at a Girl Guides’ Jamboree rather than sitting in this depressing hole, but at least I knew we’d be going home soon. The sooner the better as far as I was concerned.

‘Quick,’ urged Lexie, a few minutes later, almost showering me with the contents of the wine glasses she was holding. ‘It’s Donna, she’s arrived!’

‘Oh, God!’ I cried, suddenly feeling panicked. I jumped up, then immediately sat down again. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. What on earth would we say to her? Thankfully, I didn’t have too much time to think about it because Lexie grabbed me by the arm and led me through the throng of people.

‘Look over there!’

I gulped. There was no mistaking Donna Diamond even in the faded light of the basement. She was just as she appeared in the tabloids, only much prettier and far more delicate looking. Her tiny frame was accentuated by her surgically enhanced breasts and her straightened long blonde hair completed the Barbie doll look. I’d expected to take an immediate dislike to her, but she looked so lovely, so utterly beguiling, that like the rest of the room, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

‘Oh no,’ I gasped.

‘What is it?’

‘Her tummy, look at her tummy.’ The gentle swell of her belly lent her an air of vulnerability. She looked like an angel. A fallen angel. A pregnant angel.

Lexie made an unflattering snorting noise.

‘Well, what did you expect? We knew she was pregnant, didn’t we? That’s the whole point of us being here. To persuade her to retract her story.’

I wasn’t so sure now. Everything seemed clear-cut back at home. Donna was pregnant, Jimmy was certain it wasn’t his and it was simply a case of putting the record straight. Only now, seeing Donna in the flesh, I knew it wasn’t that straightforward. There was a growing baby involved. What if we’d got it wrong somehow? Could I really be certain it wasn’t Jimmy’s baby? I only had his word for that and as much as I wanted to trust him, I was still wracked with doubts.

‘Come on,’ said Lexie urgently, ‘she’s going to the loo. This is our chance!’

Reluctantly, I trundled after Lexie, a sense of dread filling my stomach.

‘Ssh.’ She turned and glared at me as we entered the cloakroom, holding a finger to her lips as my heels clicked across the floor. She crept along the linoleum on her tiptoes, secret squirrel style, expecting me to do the same. If it hadn’t been so ridiculous it might have been funny. ‘She’s in there,’ she whispered, pointing to the one closed door.

Great! What were we supposed to do now? Conduct an interview in the small gap beneath the door? And all this hanging around was playing havoc with my bladder. I made for the next cubicle, but Lexie blocked my entrance.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ she hissed.

‘I need a wee,’ I hissed back.

‘You can’t!’ Lexie mouthed. ‘What if she comes out? No. I’m sorry. You’ll just have to wait.’

I wasn’t sure I could. I clamped my legs tightly together. All those orange juices and the cold air whipping around my nether regions was making me feel very uncomfortable so I jiggled up and down on the spot, wishing Donna would hurry up.

Even so, it didn’t stop us both jumping high in the air in surprise when the lock on the door clicked open and Donna breezed out, walking straight into our welcoming committee.

‘Are you OK, girls?’ she asked slowly, eyeing us suspiciously.

She was really tiny. Tiny frame, tiny features, big hair, big tits and a small perfectly formed bump. It was a startling combination. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

‘We wanted to have a word with you, Donna, if that’s OK,’ Lexie asked.

‘Oh, well, I am out with my friends tonight, they’ll be waiting for me,’ she said, with only a hint of panic in her voice. She obviously thought we were over-enthusiastic fans. ‘I can give you an autograph, if you’d like.’

‘No,’ said Lexie, her voice taking on a firmness I didn’t recognise. ‘We don’t want your autograph. We wanted to talk to you about something. Something personal, a delicate matter.’

‘Really,’ said Donna, suddenly wary. ‘And what might that be then?’ She moved over to the washbasins and ran the cold water tap over her beautifully manicured nails. She turned around, giving us each in turn an appraising look.

‘It’s about the articles in the papers recently,’ I ventured, ‘about you and Jimmy. The baby.’

‘Get lost!’ she said with sudden spikiness. ‘Who the hell do you think you are? My personal life is exactly that, personal.’ Lexie and I shared a look. Hardly personal when the whole sorry saga was being played out in the pages of the national rags. ‘What’s it to you anyway?’ asked Donna, her eyes flaring.

‘We’re friends of Jimmy,’ said Lexie, ‘Alice is a very close friend of his actually and we know Jimmy’s not the father of your baby, Donna. You’ve made up lies about him and it’s not fair. He’s not here to defend himself so we have to do it for him.’

‘Huh. Don’t be ridiculous. How do you know what Jimmy got up to? Were you his guardian angel or something?’ Donna’s eyes ran up and down my body in barely concealed disgust.

‘No, Alice is a medium,’ added Lexie helpfully.

‘Ha. A medium? Are you kidding me? I’d have her down as an extra large any day.’ She folded her arms with a sense of triumph.

I glared at Donna. Just because she was an under-nourished size zero who looked as though a slight gust of wind would have her wafting off down the High Street it didn’t give her the right to be downright rude to me. I pulled in my tummy as my gaze dropped to the small protruding bump and I bit back the nasty retort waiting to trip off my tongue.

‘No, a spiritual medium. She can talk to dead people,’ said Lexie in her most serious voice.

Donna’s mouth gaped open, as she looked from Lexie to me.

‘Oh my God. You’re a couple of fruitcakes. I should have realised,’ she said, sneering at my hastily put-together outfit, making me feel even more exposed and self-conscious than I had all night and I wouldn’t have thought that was possible. She tossed the paper towels she’d been drying her hands on into the bin and walked towards the exit.

‘We’re deadly serious, Donna. Why did you do it? Making up all those lies about Jimmy, it’s nasty and cruel.’

She stopped and turned around to face me.

‘He’s dead, love. Get over it. But I’ll always have a part of him.’ She cradled her bump in her hands. ‘Now, I don’t know what it is you’re after, but you’re wasting your time. And mine too. Now just get out of my way, will you?’

‘We don’t want anything from you,’ I called after her departing figure, blinking back the tears gathering in my eyes. I couldn’t let Jimmy down. I’d promised him. This was my chance to put things right. ‘We just want you to tell the truth. Do the right thing, Donna. For you and the baby. Think of your baby.’

Abruptly, she turned round to face me, her eyes locking on mine. As her dark eyes flared, I saw a flicker of vulnerability behind her stare and in that moment I knew she was lying. I’d wanted to believe Jimmy so much and now I knew for certain he’d been telling the truth after all.

‘Fuck off,’ she said with a quiet determination.

‘Think about it, Donna. How will you feel having to live a lie for the rest of your life? Doesn’t your baby have the right to know its true father?’ I felt like Jeremy Kyle as my voice grew higher and higher with each word.

But she wasn’t listening. She was halfway out the door. Scrabbling inside my handbag, I grabbed one of my business cards.

‘Please, Donna. I’m begging you.’ I ran after her thrusting the card into her hands. ‘Call me. We can talk about it. Just give it some thought.’

‘Come on,’ said Lexie, putting an arm around my shoulder, ‘you’re wasting your breath.’

I slumped against the wall, adrenalin racing around my body.

‘Should we go after her?’

‘No, leave it. Give her time to think about it. She knows we’re onto her. Now we just need to let her sweat for a few days.’

I hoped Lexie was right, but I had a feeling that Donna would be a much tougher nut to crack than we’d given her credit for.

‘There is something I must do,’ I said, suddenly remembering, rushing into an empty cubicle. Sitting on the loo, I resolved, there and then, in my moment of joyous relief, that I would get to clear Jimmy’s name, however long it might take and however difficult it might prove to be.

Chapter Twelve

Defeated and downcast following our run-in with Donna, we drifted outside. The rain had stopped, but the temperature had dropped to sub-zero levels. There was no way I was going to be able to totter back down the High Street in my state of undress.

‘Shall we grab a taxi?’ I asked Lexie.

‘Good idea. Look, here’s one now.’