Desperately Seeking Heaven (8 page)

‘Alice, come out! I’m getting very bored out here.’

Quickly, I applied a lick of mascara, a brush of bronzer and a smearing of lip gloss and opened the bedroom door.

‘Whoa, look at you!’ Jimmy reeled backwards from the door, taking in my appearance. ‘Very nice,’ he said appraisingly.

‘Thanks,’ I said, blushing.

‘I thought I’d do us a stir fry. Will only take a few minutes and then we can settle down and watch
I’m a Celebrity.
Personally, I can’t see why anyone would put themselves through the humiliation of being on that show, but I know a couple of the people on it tonight so it should be good for a laugh. Oh and I picked up some of your favourites!’ He held up a couple of shiny bags of chocolates to tempt me.

I shook my head, smiling indulgently. The apparent ease with which Jimmy seemed able to source all manner of things; chocolate, wine, specialist cheeses, was something of a worry.

‘Where did you get those?’

‘Oh don’t worry about it. My treat. It’s really quite easy to get hold of things here if you know how.’

‘Jimmy? Please don’t tell me you stole them.’

‘Alice, really! What do you take me for? A common thief? No, I didn’t steal them. I just did a bit of judicious stock taking down at the local supermarket. No one’s any the wiser!’

‘That is shocking, Jimmy,’ I said, laughing. ‘Really, what would your legion of fans say if they knew?’

‘Ah well, that just goes to show how circumstances change. One day I’m a highly successful TV presenter, the next I’m an impoverished ghost. Needs must and all that. But don’t worry, no one will be held accountable. All the paperwork is present and correct!’

‘Well. Thank you. I think. I’ll save them for later if you don’t mind.’

‘Oh right, of course.’ Jimmy’s grey eyes narrowed and his shoulders slumped as he looked me up and down again in that way that did funny things to my insides.

‘You’re out tonight, aren’t you? I’d completely forgotten.’ His tone was light but his disappointment was palpable and I don’t know if it was the way he looked at me or the promise of that stir fry, but I realised the last thing I wanted to do was to go out and leave him behind.

Thinking about it, after the emotional trauma of yesterday’s funeral, I was being heartless even considering it. I was his only friend in the world and my priority had to be looking after him. There’d be plenty of time for socialising after he’d left. That was if he ever left.

I peeled off my jacket and hung it over the back of a chair.

‘Well, I was meant to be,’ I said, trying to make it sound as though it was no big deal, ‘but to be honest I really don’t fancy it now.’ I was sure Damon would understand. There’d be loads of people at his leaving do and it would be unlikely he’d even notice I was missing. I’d text him later to explain. ‘The offer of dinner and a night in front of the box sounds much more appealing.’

‘No. Don’t go changing your plans on my account. You look stunning, you should go out and enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine here on my own. I might even look up a few old friends.’

‘That settles it then,’ I said laughing. ‘I’m definitely not going out now. I don’t think you should wander too far from home. It might not be safe out there and it might muck up our plans to get you over to the other side.’

I looked across at the dining table. It had been laid with a heavy white linen cloth, a candle was flickering at the centre and with the lights dimmed it created a mellow, romantic atmosphere.

‘Besides,’ I added, ‘tonight will be the perfect opportunity.’

‘A perfect opportunity for what?

‘To have a séance! You’ve been here for over a week now, Jimmy, and there’s no sign of you being moved over. I’m worried the longer it goes on the harder it will be to make the transition. Let’s ask the spirits for help. I’ve had a look on the internet, it all seems quite straightforward. And if anyone can give us some answers it will be them.’

Jimmy frowned, giving me a scathing look.

‘Absolutely not, Alice. Promise me you’ll never try that. Don’t you know how dangerous those things can be? We might make contact with the wrong type of spirits entirely and get ourselves into a whole heap of trouble. You don’t know what you’re messing with.’ He stormed over to the fridge, yanked open the door and pulled out some vegetables. ‘Are you really that desperate to get rid of me?’

‘No, it isn’t that, Jimmy. You can stay for as long as it takes.’ I paused, looking across at him, his arms laden with food, my heart tugging at the hurt expression on his face. ‘I love having you here and, oh my God, it will be so quiet and lonely when you’re gone, but I know that you don’t really belong here. This isn’t fair on you. Aren’t you desperate to get wherever it is you should be going?’

He shrugged, the corners of his mouth twisting in a smile.

‘Oh, I don’t know, I quite like it here,’ he said softly. He released the ingredients in his arms onto the worktop and wandered over to where I was standing. He stood opposite me, and grabbed my arms, his gaze penetrating my face.

‘I’m sorry. I know it must seem as though I’m not being very pro-active in getting myself out of your hair, but that’s only because I don’t believe there’s anything I can do. I don’t think it’s one of those things you can force. Don’t ask me how I know that. It’s just something I feel inside here.’

He tapped his heart with his fist, his sincerity shining through.

‘I think when the time is right, I’ll be taken across regardless of anything you or I might be doing. And I honestly don’t think it will take that long. A couple of weeks at the most. Do you think you can put up with me until them?’

‘Of course I can. It’s not about that. It’s just that I feel responsible for you. It’s as though I’ve been handed this task of looking after you, of making sure you get to your spiritual home, and I feel completely frustrated that I’m unable to live up to that task. I feel like a failure if you must know. If I’d been at work, I’d have probably been sacked by now.’

‘Nonsense,’ he said with a smile, stroking my hair away from my face. He was that close I could smell his masculine scent, see the pores of his skin and feel his breath on my face. The air between us sizzled with electricity. ‘You’ve been doing a brilliant job at looking after me. I’ll tell you something, some of the five-star hotels I’ve stayed in haven’t been half as good as this place. And it’s not as though you haven’t tried getting rid of me. That ceremony in the field with that irate farmer was inspired! Why it didn’t work I have no idea!’

‘Oh stop it!’ I felt my face flush with heat at the memory. Or was it from the close proximity of Jimmy? I wasn’t sure. I only knew my stomach was tense with anxiety and desire. I didn’t want to admit to Jimmy just how much he had come to mean to me in such a short space of time. He had enough to think about without worrying about me and the silly crush I was nursing. Being a TV star, I guessed he was used to that kind of attention, but in his current predicament I was certain it was the last thing he needed. I sighed and gave a rueful shrug. ‘I’ll never live that one down, will I?’

‘Well, at least I’ll go to my final resting place with a big smile on my face.’ My stomach plummeted, I hated it when he joked about this whole thing.

‘Oh come on,’ he said, putting an arm around my shoulder. ‘Don’t look like that.’

My eyes closed and my entire body fired with the closeness of his touch, before he abruptly pulled away. His gaze lingered on my face and I wondered if I’d imagined the flash of desire stirring in his eyes. ‘I should get the dinner started,’ he said, quietly.

As he turned away leaving me with my arms aching with emptiness, my gaze flickered over at the table. The séance had been a rotten idea. A romantic dinner for two sounded much much better.

Chapter Nine

Banging on my front door early on a Sunday morning could only mean one thing.

‘Lexie, can you not sleep?’ I said, grumpily, tying my towelling robe around me, ushering her inside.

‘Clean living, that’s me. Early to bed, early to rise.’ She breezed past me, her eyes doing a quick scan of every nook and cranny of my small flat, before turning to give my dishevelled figure a cursory up-and-down. ‘Obviously, the same can’t be said for you,’ she said, looking at me suspiciously.

‘Can’t I even have a lie-in now? It is the weekend!’ I wandered out into the kitchen, filled the kettle with water and flicked it on. Jimmy wafted in and helped himself to a grape from the fruit bowl.

‘God, your sister can be a real pain in the butt at times, can’t she?’

That was all I needed. Jimmy putting his two pennorth in.

‘No you can’t,’ she said, forcefully. ‘Not until you tell me what you’re up to. You’ve been acting odd for weeks now. And what’s all this nonsense about you going off to some aunt’s funeral? Which aunt of ours would that be?’ she asked, arching an eyebrow.

I dropped my gaze from her accusatory stare, my mind darting in all directions for an answer.

‘I spoke to your office on Friday,’ she went on. ‘So unless you didn’t want to burden me with the tragic news of the death of our beloved relative, I suspect you either had a job interview or you were up to something illicit with someone highly unsuitable. I do hope it’s the latter,’ she said, with undisguised glee.

I gave her a withering glance and Jimmy one too, for good measure, because he was looking at me expectantly waiting for my response. I could so do without all this this morning.

‘Well, sorry to disappoint you.’ I shuffled around the kitchen, pulling mugs from cupboards. ‘But it was neither of those things. I did go to a funeral, if you must know. Not an aunt’s obviously, but a friend’s. I didn’t want to make a big thing of it at work, that’s all.’

Lexie didn’t look disappointed, just amazed. Her eyes had grown wide and her mouth gaped open.

‘A friend? Oh my God! Really? That’s terrible. Which friend? Why didn’t you tell me?’

I sighed and handed her a steaming mug, trying to avoid Jimmy’s gaze. Clearly, Lexie wasn’t going to drop the subject and Jimmy’s ghostly presence was doing nothing to help my squirming discomfort.

‘Oh, it was no one you knew, just someone I…’

‘Alice, come on, stop messing me around. Just tell me who it was.’

I was going to get so much ribbing over this, I just knew it.

‘Jimmy,’ I said quietly into the collar of my dressing gown as I picked off an imaginary thread from the arm.

‘Jimmy? Who the hell was Jimmy?’

I sat down at the kitchen table sighing and folded my arms defensively.

‘Jimmy Mack,’ I said, my gaze drifting over to the man himself.

‘What!?’ Her mouth curled up in disbelief. ‘Jimmy Mack? You went to his funeral? What on earth for?’

Now there was a question. How could I possibly explain to Lexie? And even if I did would she ever believe such a far-fetched story? It was all such a mess and really I had no idea how to get myself out of it.

‘I just felt as if I wanted to,’ I said with growing conviction. ‘When I heard he’d died I felt a connection with him. A loss, I suppose.’ In the background Jimmy nodded approvingly. ‘He’s been so much a part of our lives, we practically grew up watching him on the telly.’

‘Ouch, that makes me feel really ancient,’ grumbled Jimmy.

‘I wanted to say my goodbyes to him that was all.’

Inwardly, I glowed with satisfaction thinking I’d handled the whole thing really rather well, but Lexie was looking at me as if I’d suddenly grown a second head.

‘Oh my God, that is so sad,’ she said, a tad dramatically.

‘I know, it was wasn’t it? I was so upset when I found out the news, I…’

‘No, not sad sad, but pathetic sad. You really must get out more, Alice, make some new friends.’ Lexie tilted her head, adopting a pitying expression. ‘You clearly haven’t got enough going on in your life if you feel the need to go to some celebrity has-been’s funeral.’

‘Bloody cheek!’ said Jimmy, folding his arms crossly.

I gave him a reassuring shrug of my shoulders, out of Lexie’s line of vision, and listened as she continued on her rant.

‘Haven’t you got anything better to do with your time?’

‘He wasn’t a has-been.’ I felt duty bound to correct her with Jimmy looking increasingly disgruntled. ‘I’m sure lots of people feel the same way as I do. He’s left a huge gap. I know he’ll be sorely missed.’

‘You reckon? Hmm, I’m not so sure about that now.’ She dropped the day’s papers on my coffee table, a look of triumph on her face. ‘Didn’t I say there’d be something fishy behind all this? I don’t think your Mr Mack was such a gentleman after all.’

‘What do you mean?’ Both Jimmy and I leant over the table, craning to read the headline. “Exclusive: Jimmy Mack’s secret lover, the mother of his unborn child revealed!”

‘Oh my God!’ My fingers tore through the pages to the double-page centre spread.

A picture of reality TV star Donna Diamond with her peroxide blonde hair and surgically enhanced chest leapt off the page. “Read about my passionate nights with sex-crazed Jimmy Mack.”

‘Oh my God!’ I repeated, as my eyes struggled to make sense of the words.

‘Shit, no!’ said Jimmy, burying his head in his hands. He rubbed his scalp furiously as Lexie read out the juiciest snippets.

“Jimmy was a voracious lover. He was unlike any man I’d ever met before.”
‘Oo-er.’ Lexie helpfully filled in the appropriate sound effects.

“We were soul mates.”
‘Oooh!’

“Our plans to marry devastated by his premature death.”
‘Aahh.’

“I’ll always have a part of him in our unborn child.”
‘Sob.’

Lexie rolled her eyes dismissively, pushing the newspaper aside.

‘So Mr Squeaky Clean didn’t lead such a blameless life as he’d have us believe, eh? Who’d have thought it? Him and Donna Diamond. A most unlikely couple, don’t you think?’

My mouth opened, but the words caught at the back of my throat.

‘Was she there?’ Lexie asked.

My mind was awash with all sorts of thoughts and feelings. My throat was dry and I felt sick, unable to even look at Jimmy. And what was that other peculiar feeling? The gut-stirring emotion in the pit of my stomach. I paced up and down the living room, my arms hugging my middle.