Denial (16 page)

Isaac is sitting beside me but his eyes are staring off into the distance. He looks uncomfortable. Embarrassed, maybe? Probably for me. I don’t know what I should do, what I should say and I try to keep my arms from reaching towards him but they won’t listen. To my relief, he doesn’t pull away when my hand lands on his shoulder. The lack of rejection only motivates me to look more pathetic and needy as I rise to my knees and move closer. Why did he want to hold me closely while it was happening but not afterwards? What do guys have that makes it so easy to separate their emotions from their actions and how can I get it?

He won’t look at me. It’s like I’m not even here. This has gotten way out of hand but I can’t find my way out of the delusion. I nuzzle into his neck and kiss his collarbone. I already look like an idiot, why stop now? Somehow I’m able to salvage a bit of self-respect and stop myself from asking him to hold me.

“I’ve never lost it like that before,” he whispers.

“You didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“That’s good, but I know that was still a letdown.”

“I don’t understand. I came.”
Harder than I ever have in my life
.

“Well, yeah, but then I did.”

“Isn’t that how it’s supposed to go?”

“Maybe for normal people,” he says with a touch of disgust. I pull his face around by his chin, surprised that he lets me. “Weren’t you expecting, I don’t know, more bells and whistles or something?”

“I don’t know what I was expecting, but I really liked it.”

His expression torments me, so I lean in and kiss him. He kisses me back and lets me crawl into his lap, releasing the butterflies in my stomach that my better judgment tells me to keep in their jar.

“I’ll last longer next time, I promise,” he mutters between kisses.

“Are you seriously still beating yourself up about making me come without even touching my clit? That practically never happens.”

“Yeah, I am,” he chuckles.

“Well stop it. I enjoyed it immensely. And… I think it’s hot that we came at the same time,” I peep. It makes him smile and we go back to making out again.

“Yeah, it was.” His hands are all over me, but they’re snuggly, not frantic. “I’ve never done that before.”

“Me neither.”

“Well, that too, but…” That insecure face makes me melt into a puddle. I need to get a handle on this. Fast. So why am I kissing him again?

“What?” I force myself to tear my lips away from his and lean back against his thighs.

“I meant that I’ve never had sex like that before,” he explains. I shoot him a quizzical look. “You know, normal. Vanilla. No overtones or power exchange.”

“Never?”

“Never.” His arms encircle me as I lean into his chest. Stop feeling flattered and special, he’s probably conning you. “Does it always feel like that?” he asks

I am not going to allow myself to think that means he’s becoming as attached as I am. “Um, no, not really. That was…” I can’t insult the experience by simply calling it fun, but I don’t want to weird him out by telling him just how mind blowing and unbelievably satisfying it was. So I’ll go with, “a lot more intense than usual. Probably from 24 hours of nonstop buildup.”

Our eyes meet and we smirk playfully at each other. “Okay, because I was starting to question everything I know about sex, which I thought was quite a bit until a few minutes ago.”

These
stupid butterflies do not mean anything. “Why was that?” My words are practically a gasp because he’s fondling me again as he sucks on my neck.

“Why the hell would anyone have invented all the kinky shit I’m about to do to you if it was that easy?”

He grabs me by the hair, pulling my head back and flashes me that mischievous crooked smile. Holy fucking hell, how did I get this horny all of the sudden? His mouth is sliding across my collarbone, licking, sucking, and kissing so fervently, filling me with that strange energy that I need to find a way to control. My legs are still straddling his hips and I can feel him getting harder against my thigh. That was quick.

“But… I…”
feel fucking amazing. What are you doing with your tongue?
“I don’t think I’ll be able to come again for a while. Don’t take it personally.”

His throaty, cocky, incredibly sexy chuckle tells me I have no idea what I’m in for. I let out a groan as his lips travel up my shoulder, my neck, my jaw, until they’re on mine again and he’s kissing me so deeply it’s difficult to breathe.

“I most certainly will take it personally.” It’s that insanely hot voice again. “You didn’t think I was actually done with you, did you?”

“Well, yeah. We both finished.”

That cocky laugh again. “Oh, Maya, I don’t think so.” The hold he has on my hair is firm and gentle at the same time, guiding my head back so that his lips can explore my throat. “I haven’t gotten to play with these enough yet.” His fingers pinch one of my nipples. “Or taste this.” His hand departs from my breast and slides down to my groin, spreading my folds until his fingers find my clit.

“Isaac…” He growls when I say his name.

“Say that when I’m inside of you this time.”

I am going to get hurt if I can’t get this fluttery, melty feeling under control. “I will, but…” He quickly flips me onto my back.

“No more buts, Rookie.” His mouth is all over me. “I am going to fuck you within an inch of your life and you are going to love every second.”

He could read a textbook in that voice and it would probably turn me on, but if keeps talking like this I’m going to lose my mind. His kisses keep traveling down my body but then his face is suddenly up to mine and our lips press together for a moment before he tries again.
He linger at my nipples, flicking and sucking with expert precision.

“
I can make you come like this, if I want to,” he teases. That fucking voice. I can’t stand it.

“Y
ou can?” I’m starting to believe him

“Yes,” he assures me, his voice muffled by my breast as I squirm. “
I suspect that I can make you come if I lick this spot enough, too.” His weight pins me to the bed as his lips land on that spot below my ear, sucking and nibbling as he drives inside of me for a few shocking thrusts. “But I have a taste for something else.” He pulls out and works his way lower, returning with a kiss full of laughter. “I just have to figure out how to stop kissing you first.” He groans into my mouth as he enters me again, gripping my ass. “And keep my dick out of you.” After a few more delicious attempts, his head is between my legs and that well trained tongue is doing things to my clit that might possibly defy the laws of physics.

It’s so
hot in here. I gasp as he reaches up and clamps his fingers down on my nipples. My legs tense up around his shoulders and I’m screaming, moaning, making sounds I’ve never made before while I shatter into a billion pieces. I’m expecting him to stop, to crawl on top of me but he only dials back the intensity. Instead of pinching, he’s grazing his fingers across my nipples and his tongue is flicking me so softly I barely feel it.

Just as my breathing begins to slow down my heart starts beating faster. Somehow I’m climbing. There’s no way I can do it again, can I? Soon my body is answering my own question with a resounding yes and unbelievably I’m almost there. I let out a groan of frustration when he stops, but I’m rewarded with his mouth clamping down on mine, tasting myself on his tongue as he slides inside of me. Everything in my body welcomes him.

“I want to watch you come,” he whispers into my ear, driving himself deeper. “You were so beautiful the first time, but I was distracted.”

His hips slam into me over and over as his fingers play in my hair. I was almost there to begin with so it isn’t long before I’m shrieking for him as he watches me with the most satisfied expression. When it’s over, he kisses me hungrily and if I thought he was fucking me as hard as he could before I was completely mistaken.

“Maya.” That hungry voice unravels me. “This squirmy, wiggly thing you’re been doing is fucking hot and cute as hell, but I need you to hold still for me now. It will be safer.”

What does that mean? I really want to find out. He is a professional after all. I realize that his breathing had remained remarkably even when it becomes ragged as he picks up speed. The tender caressing hand in my hair closes into a fist, jerking my head back as he pummels my body. My eyes widen in surprise at the incursion, locking with his. They are feral, fiery, and I’d like to think that no other eyes have ever been filled with such lust, certainly none as beautiful.

This is for him now. Every pinch, grab, and thrust is filled with hunger and greed. His ragged breaths become grunts and groans of excitement and exertion. It’s intoxicating to watch and incredible to feel. He’s fucking me so hard it should be painful, but it’s not.

“Your tits are so perfect.” The words slip out of his mouth honestly before it clamps down on my nipple. I groan as he pulls my hair harder and fondles my breast with his other hand. I’ll let him do anything he wants,
anything
, even if it does start to hurt.

How he keeps up this pace for so long without exploding is a mystery that should probably be investigated by science. I can’t help but feel privileged because surely, sexual intercourse of this intensity has only been experienced by a lucky few. I’m about to spiral out of control again when I realize that he watching me intently.

“You’re about to come for me again, aren’t you?”

“Isaac…” His eyes roll back as I keep my promise, his thrusts getting slower but more forceful. He rips out of me right as I’m about to boil over. My entire body is quivering, begging him to come back. That playful smirk is only making it worse.

“Flip over,” he orders. Why is that so hot? “Get on your hands and knees. I want you from behind.”

I groan and do what he wants, desperate to feel him inside of me. It must be taking me too long because his hands wrap around my waist to help me over, pulling my hips up and holding me steady. We
moan loudly in unison as he drives into me again. It’s so much deeper from this angle, almost too deep. He must be able to read my body language just as well in bed because his thrusts get shallower until they are perfect.

“I’m going to try something. It won’t hurt, I promise.” His hands grab my ass cheeks and pull them apart. “Give me a color if you don’t like it, okay? But keep an open mind.”

I know that everything down there has been waxed to perfection but I still get a little embarrassed. “Okay,” I peep. He leans forward, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my spine, relaxing me. What is he going to do?

“Maya, your ass is so fucking beautiful and I cannot wait to be the first person inside of it.” Wow. “But I’m just going to touch you for now.”

He reaches over and opens the drawer on the nightstand. I gulp and stiffen with anticipation at the sight of a white disposable glove and a bottle of clear liquid. “Yellow.”

I can’t see his face, but I can tell that he just stopped smiling. “This is what you wanted, right?” he whispers, sinking deeper as his head drops next to mine. “Right?” I can’t answer. “Hot guy. Pleasure.” He bucks into me, catching my forward momentum with the finger attached to my clit. I whelp and shudder. “Tricks. Release. To push yourself. See how much you really like this.” I swallow hard. “Let me play with you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

It is what I wanted. I think. And I do really like him. He fucks me a few thrusts, but I’m tense, crawling away from it. “Don’t you want to be bad for a little while? We are not supposed to be doing this.” He nuzzles through my hair until his lips are right below my ear, pressing his head into mine. “Let’s keep doing what we’re not allowed to do. It just makes it more fun.”
It does, but that’s not why I want to do it
. “Fuck it, it’s just one night. They won’t find out. Play with me. You’ll like it. Let me do what I want. Just for tonight.”

That is so fucking tempting, and my pussy swells up around him as my hips sink back a little. He groans out a laugh, throaty, just a little too smug. I’m so horny, and I want to, but can’t seem to shake this hesitation. “Okay.”

“You have to let me.”

“I said okay.”

“It doesn’t feel okay. You have to enjoy it. I can’t get into it unless you do. I’m not like that,” his voice cracks into my ear, his arms holding me tighter. “It’s just a game. For me. I want to play. With you.”

“Me too,” I say softly. He kisses my temple as I turn towards him, pulling the curtain of hair over my shoulder so there’s nothing between us. I can see his perfect smile as he kisses my face, straining to get to my mouth without pulling out of me.

“Give me a color.”

“Green.” He hesitates, breathing on my neck. “I promise.” I go lax, my weight sinking into his hand through my sternum. He traces it with his thumb.

“Maya…” he trails off, groaning, stifling something, staying still as he takes deep even breaths. It starts slowly, shallow thrusts as he kisses my cheeks, my neck, that sensitive spot below my ear, almost grazing the corner of my mouth before rising upward with a grunt full of frustration and excitement.

“Why the glove?” I peep.

“It’s safer for you. No latex, if you’re worried.” I blush at him. “Don’t be offended. I would gladly use my finger. Hell, I’m looking forward to using my tongue.” I hear a snap of rubber on flesh. “But if I touch you bare then I’ll have to be careful afterwards and there is no fucking way I’ll be able to stay out of you long enough to wash my hands.” So safety can be sexy. Public service announcements might actually have a chance if he wrote them.