Denial (38 page)

Which makes me flash on that time in the kitchen. And how she wasn’t even angry when I ripped that fucking necklace off with my teeth and spit it across the room. The way I wanted her so fucking bad, needed her so much, and she thought I just meant her body but that’s not what I want. Well, not the only thing I want, and I don’t need it, not like I need her to look at me, and talk to me, and,
holy fuck, when she says my name. But it’s not like that for her. I want to think it is, but she’s been in love with someone else this entire time. I’m just a piece of meat for her to ride. That normally doesn’t bother me, but now… I just don’t know if I can take it.

And this is the perfect way to convince her, isn’t it, asshole. Take advantage of her hunger because it feels so good and you know it doesn’t get any better because she wants it so badly. Let her suck you off while she’s half awake, still reeling from screaming and howling like that. The tears haven’t even dried yet, you can actually feel how much her throat hurts from crying so hard, but you’re still letting her shove it down on your dick and you know
exactly
how that feels too, don’t you? Yeah, just blow your load down it, show her how much you care.

I pull her off. She fights me, grabbing at my traitorous cock that would gladly slide right back between her lips, but I keep her still. I wouldn’t dream of pulling her up here by her hair, so I move lower so that I can kiss her, threading my arm under that
delectable curve of her waist to bring us higher on the bed. She’s crying again, shaking all over, screeching, moaning, and begging. I know she’s dying right now. I’ve been teasing her nonstop for days.

What did you think, wait until the morning and the hell you just put her through is farther away so she’ll know how special she is when you shove your dick in her? Because in her orgasm deprived, heartbroken state she’s really going to care that it’s attached to you and how much you want to be with her. At this point she’d feel a connection with anything cylindrical the moment it connected with her. You did this to her, so undo it and get this poor girl off already.

“Ok, baby,” I whisper. “I’ll fix you.”

“Isaac!” she cries, clutching my shoulders. I wish this was real.

Feeling like a lecher, I slide my hand up her dress. She isn’t wearing panties and remembering why makes me sick to my stomach. But she’s so tense it probably hurts. Actually I know it does. Her eyes are so fucking beautiful, so vulnerable, as she surprises me and slips the dress over her head. She’s so gorgeous and she doesn’t have a fucking clue. I kiss her, not on the mouth, but all over her face in our unique way so maybe she’ll know that just because I get excited when I see her naked doesn’t mean I’m forgetting who is in there.

“Take your shirt off,” she whines. So she can see my body, the only thing she probably ever sees, just like everyone else. The only difference is, with her it kills me. “I don’t want anything between us.” I breathe in quickly, my heart sputtering out. Don’t get your hopes up.

I hate it when people tell me what to do, but Maya could tell me to jump off of a bridge and I would do it without hesitation. So obviously, losing a shirt isn’t that big of a deal, even though it feels that way. I brace myself for her to rake her eyes over my flesh like the meat that I am, but she doesn’t. Her eyes stay with mine and she smiles, moving closer.

“Are you okay
, Isaac?” She kisses my forehead.

I fall harder every time she asks me that. “Yeah.” My voice cracks. I can tell she doesn’t believe me and for once, I like it. “I’m just worried about you.” That wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth.

Her lips roll in on themselves, but her eyes look happy. “You’re so sweet, it’s too good to be true.”

No, it’s not. But I’m not in the mood to argue with you
. “I keep thinking the same thing about you.”

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

“Yeah, right, like I’ll leave you hanging after I let you go down on me like that.”

“You didn’t finish.”

“Because you’re going first. Then second and third, maybe fourth and fifth if you’ll let me.”

She laughs, but her eyes water. “Okay.” The squeaky voice. The one that she uses when she’s scared and horny at the same time. Fucking adorable. “Because it hurts.”

“Oh, Rookie.” I get as close to her as I can, pressing my finger against her clit. Oh, fuck, it’s as hard as rock, she’s dying here. She whimpers out a groan of desire and pain. “Maya, it’s okay. I know.” I do, and it’s so awful at this point.

I kiss her quickly and move down to her neck, stopping at the point below her ear that makes her squeal. It was a painful squeal this time, so my lips sink lower to her breastbone. Licking her nipples might be uncomfortable

“Come back,” she whimpers.

“What?” I pop back up before I’m even at her navel.

“Stay up here with me. Please.”

“Okay,” I mutter, holding her tightly as she tucks her head into my shoulder. How does my heart do its job when it flips around like this? Kicking her legs, she screams when I move my fingers over the source of her frustration. Her arms are holding me so tightly as she squeaks my name into my neck. “Maya, try to relax.”

But she can’t and these painful moans echo in my ears. If I have to force it out of her, it’s going to hurt. Apparently that is unavoidable, so I flick and circle her clit rapidly in a motion that will bring her to climax easily, even though it won’t be a very easy climax. The first one can be kind of hellish when you’re this horny. And based on her screaming, it is.

She bites me, just a little one, but since it’s on my neck it hurts quite a bit. I could give a shit. I’m expecting her to let go when she grabs me harder and screams my name, shuddering and thrashing as I try to hold her steady. Her hips buck forward, urging me on. I’ll never deny her, never again. This one is easier, and I can tell it feels better, but she doesn’t let go and I can’t either.

I just hold her there for a minute, letting her recover. That satisfied pace of her breathing. Her face looks so much better, but she’s still hungry and I’m done starving her. She kisses me, her fingers stroking my cheeks as I circle her wrists in mine and kiss her back. I think we’re stuck together again like we were that first night, but she needs my mouth somewhere else right now, so when I get the slightest glimmer of an opportunity to pull my face away, I run toward it.

Her body is more relaxed, but not as relaxed as it’s going to be. I can suck and lick that spot below her ear now without hurting her, so that’s exactly what I do. I love this reaction so much it’s hard to stop. I sink lower, my lips grabbing one of her perfect nipples and doing everything I can to pleasure her. My fingers take care of the other one, but when my hand leaves her hair, she protests and grabs at my wrist, so it’s not gone for long.

“I want you,” she pants.

“You have me.” And she does, oh fuck, she does and I can’t imagine that ever changing.

“Inside me.” That whiny begging, I just fucking love it. “Please.”

“One more, Maya, at least.” I move lower, reluctantly peeling my mouth off of her breasts.

“No!” She grabs my hair. I look up at her. “That’s too far away.”

My body is filled with mush at this point, it has to be. There isn’t a single thing in there that hasn’t fallen off the bone. “Okay.”
Whatever you fucking want
. “I’ll stay here.”

30

I’ve been wanting to make Maya come from sucking on her tits since before I even saw them. I got to do it halfway once, that night she taught me how to make out without going too far, but it doesn’t really count because they were sore. She squirms as I suckle and pinch her, moving back and forth. Licking, pinching, pulling, and just the right amount of nibbling as I listen to her body tell me what she needs. Her breathing is picking up speed perfectly and getting ragged, her squirming reaching critical levels. As soon as she stops wiggling, she’s mine.

That squealing and groaning. Just when I think I’m going to keep it together, she pulls me apart. Hearing those horrible noises that came out of her earlier makes these sound that much sweeter. Her nails dig into my back as I go between pulling her hair and tickling her scalp based on what she wordlessly tells me she needs. I could make this last longer but she’s been teased enough. I clamp down with my fingers and lips, and feel it ripple through her. It’s so hard to not lift my head to watch her make my favorite face.

“Isaac!” she screams again and again as she comes and while she’s panting afterward, shredding me further. It sounds better every single time until I feel a tear spill over. I don’t want her to see it and manage to flick it away as I come up to kiss her.

I’m not going to be able to stop this time. I’d like to think that she can’t either based on the depth of her tongue in my mouth, but I can’t bear to wonder if she feels this so I think of nothing except of what she tastes like, what she sounds like, what her flesh feels like in my hands. Then she tears herself off me.

“Please,” she begs, so I’ll give her what she needs, yet this awful hesitation consumes me. I don’t want her to use me. Of all the people that have, she deserves it the most by far, but that just makes the thought of it hurt more. “Please, Isaac. I need you.”
Not like I need you
. But I won’t say it. “I can’t stop thinking about you. All the time. About that night.”

“Me too.” We grin at each other as I utter that familiar refrain. I’ve said it at least a dozen times every day since we’ve been together and so has she.

“Please,” she sobs, pulling at me. “Come here, baby.”

I fall into her arms, letting her kiss me all over, struggling not to break contact while I pull off my pants. I’m afraid if I look at her I’ll lose it, but I have to. Her eyes stay with me and I search for meaning as I slide inside of her. I might see it, but if that’s not what it is I’ll just pretend it is. She floods my thighs when I’m in to the hilt, but that’s no guarantee. Holy shit, this is unbelievable.

“Maya,” I gasp, completely unable to hide my uncertainty.

“I’m right here.” She’s panting, holding on to me as hard as I’m holding onto her.

She’s so tight and warm. I have never enjoyed being inside of someone like this. Craved it. I struggle to grasp the control that I thought was a permanent part of me now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tie her hands away from me because the way they feel when they clutch my arms and shoulders is amazing. I fuck her faster and she moans, the sound of it rumbling through her torso so that I can feel it from inside of her.

I can’t stop kissing her and now that I’m in her, it’s getting to be too much, so I pull away and swallow a sob. If I start indulging myself, I’ll fucking lose it. I take control of my body, my tool, the only thing I’m positive that she wants and use it to take her where she needs to go. I can feel her spasm around me as she screams in relief. That was the first one that actually counted. The muscles in her back beneath my hands are relaxing as I pull away to look at her.

The discomfort on her face is almost gone, except for a pinching between her eyebrows, and my lips are drawn to it like a magnet. Her eyes won’t open and I want to see her so badly. I ask her to open them with a series of kisses on her eyelids, and when that doesn’t work, I kiss everything else. She captures my mouth with hers, coaxing her way inside and attacking my tongue. I remember this. She kissed me this way a few times that night, and just as I’m expecting, her lips depart mine and begin their dangerous dance down my throat. Fuck this feels really good. I sink into her deeper, a greater heat enveloping the tip of me as I groan. My body starts trembling as it fucks hers faster, it has too, I can’t stop myself, she’s so hot and soft and slick.

That twisting starts in my chest and chokes in the hollow of my throat when she nuzzles the spot back and forth with her adorable nose. Everything in me jumbles around and my heart sputters until it almost hurts. Giggling, her fingers skating through my hair, she leaves at trail of kisses along my collarbone, stopping every few inches to nip the skin. The curl of her spine arches beneath my fingers as she draws in a feral breath against my skin, almost like she’s sniffing me. I have to slow down or I’m going to come. She licks, nibbles, and pecks around until she shudders, her lips parting around a familiar hunk of flesh on my shoulder. Oh yeah, I definitely remember this.

She kisses the faded wound over and over, nuzzling it with her nose and lips, murmuring my name and making this adorable mewling sound. This part is new. I yelp as she takes the chunk of meat between her teeth and clamps down, holding it in her mouth as her body draws closer to mine and begs me to fuck her harder. It’s just painful enough to short circuit my impending release so I can give her what she wants, riding her as I feel her pant and groan through corners of her parted jaws, the sound of it muffled by the morsel of me she wants to be hers that I gladly give.

Her skin is hot and her wiggling slows, she’s about to come again and I might just have to go with her. But then she bites down on her spot, hard, and
holy shit
it fucking hurts as the bruised skin breaks beneath her teeth with a tearing sound I hear through my bones. My heart is drumming as adrenaline courses through my veins, but it isn’t panic that hits me, it’s something else that I don’t have a name for. It was so quick, she marked me and unclenched her hold, now screaming my name as she shudders. When I kiss her, she tastes like my blood. That should freak my shit right out, but it doesn’t.