Delta Force Desire (6 page)

She grunted in frustration. “My skin feels too sensitive, like I want to be grabbed and left alone at the same time.” She climbed out of bed and seized her computer. She opened it and turned it on. In moments, she was typing frantically at the keyboard.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Trolling for someone to have sex with.”

He grabbed the computer and slammed the lid shut. Not acceptable. “No.”

“Why? What would it hurt?” she asked. “I can hide behind an alias.”

Why not? He couldn't think of a good reason other than he didn't want her to. He didn't want her to have sex with anyone. He should protect her from terrible drug-induced decisions. Though that wasn't the whole of the reason, he didn't explore those emotions too deeply.

“Griffin, you can't have everything your way.”

“Nothing about this is my way,” he said, trying to keep the irritation from his voice. The pent-up desire he felt was getting the best of him. “You can't leave this room to meet up with some stranger.” He was doing the right thing. He would not question it.

“I wouldn't have to leave the room. Good old cybersex.”

He didn't like either idea. “Why don't I run you a bath?” he asked. A distraction. He mustered his frayed patience.

“My skin is clean,” she said in a breathy voice.

“Not to clean you. To relax you.”

She moaned again. “A bath. Anything.”

He ran a bath, and then called to her. “I'll phone room service and ask for some fresh towels.”

She went into the bathroom. He kept the door cracked in case she needed him.

An hour later, she exited the bathroom in a white hotel robe.

Griffin reclined in his bed and ignored the raging hard-on he'd been sporting for the better part of four hours. It would go away. He blew out his breath and counted backward slowly.

Kit sat on the edge of his bed.

“What's the matter? What do you need?” he asked.

She said nothing, but she stood. She let the robe fall off her shoulders, exposing her neck, her upper body, just shy of her breasts. “I'm still in the mood. I have a great feeling about you and me. This could be amazing if you'd let this happen. Stop fighting it. I've been taking care of this myself, but I think you could do a better job.” She crawled on top of him and he flipped her off him, onto the mattress. Her soft thigh brushed his legs.

“Get back in your bed,” he said.

“I like this bed better.”

“Then I'll sleep in the other bed,” he said.

She launched herself at him, kissing his neck. “I want to be in the bed with you.”

“No.” He was tired and her pleas wore on him. His sense of honor prevented him from giving in to her.

“Let's modify our arrangement,” she said.

“No.”

“Just sleep in the same bed with me. Just hold me,” she said.

Gray area. Lying in the same bed, relaxed and pressed together, would lead to sex. “No.”

He set her firmly on the ground.

“I know you want to do this,” she said.

“I don't,” he said. Did his body desperately want the relief of sinking into hers? Of course. But he wouldn't do that. Not to her.

She stilled. “Really?”

“Really.” It would go against everything he believed. It would compromise who he was as a man and as an operative.

It was the first time his rejection of her had slowed her down. Was the drug wearing off? She said nothing and returned to her bed.

Twenty minutes later, he heard her gasp and then run into the bathroom. He followed, concerned. She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, her hair flung forward, gagging into the toilet.

Griffin took a clean white washcloth from the rack in the bathroom and put some cool water on it. He helped her wipe her mouth. He laid another washcloth across the back of her neck. She was covered in sweat.

Kit murmured her thanks. Then she rose onto her knees and leaned over the toilet again. Griffin gathered her hair in his hand and held it.

She gagged again. “What's wrong with me? Is this a typical response to the drug?”

Instead of the flirtatious mewling, her tone was normal. Her body could be getting rid of the drug through any means possible.

“I'll check with Connor.” If it was a bad reaction that required medical attention, Griffin wanted to know and take her to the emergency room.

She moaned, but this time, she sounded in pain.

Connor confirmed it was a good sign that the drug was working its way out of her body. “Do you want me to send a doctor over there tonight?” Connor asked.

Griffin asked Kit and she shook her head. “Tomorrow. Doctor tomorrow.”

Griffin relayed the message to Connor and then disconnected.

“Can you help me back into bed?” she asked. She was trembling, either from fatigue or cold—he wasn't sure.

He didn't wait for her to struggle to her feet. He carried her to her bed and laid her down. She didn't grab at his shirt and try to pull him into the bed with her. The worst of the drug had passed through her system.

* * *

Kit felt like her head would split open. Had she been drunk last night? Why did she feel this way?

She opened her eyes and remembered she was in a hotel room at Gamer Con. She and Griffin had gone to a rave and then... Kit groaned as she remembered intimate details of the night before. Had she had sex with Griffin? She couldn't remember him on top of her, but she remembered touching him and kissing him.

“Griffin?” Her throat was raw. He was seated by the window, reading.

He rose and came to the side of the bed. “What can I get you?”

“Acetaminophen. Ibuprofen. Water. Coffee.”

He nodded to her bedside table. “Let's start with the acetaminophen and water.”

She glanced at both set out on a tray. “Was I drunk last night?”

“You were drugged.”

Drugged? “But what? By whom?”

“As far as I can tell, some low-life at the rave. Possibly someone looking to take advantage of women. The West Company is reviewing the security tapes and investigating.”

Because she and Griffin were attending Gamer Con under aliases, they couldn't file a police report or do anything to draw attention to the situation, which would draw attention to them. “What did I do?” She had some strange memories. Dreams or reality? Did she kiss Griffin?

“You didn't do anything. When I realized what was happening, I brought you back to the hotel room. When you're ready, we have a doctor on stand-by to check you over and make sure you're okay.”

If she'd had sex with him and didn't remember it, she would absolutely lose it. “Did we have sex? Like any kind of sex? I remember doing some things...”

His cheeks grew red. “You were solo. I kept you in the room so no one could hurt you. The drug made you really interested in sex. But you managed it on your own.”

He had witnessed her acting like a sex-starved lunatic. “Wonderful.”

“The drug is called rapture. No inhibitions and too much serotonin and adrenaline. You couldn't help how you felt or behaved. From what I read about it online, you got through it like a champ.”

Kit looked away to hide her embarrassment. She grabbed her phone. “I need to know more about this.”

“Don't internet-research it. You'll get freaked out. Do you want to take today and rest?”

“Why would I get freaked out?” she asked.

“Not everyone who takes rapture, willingly or unwillingly, ends up safe.”

“Then I should thank you for looking out for me,” she said.

“Just doing my job.”

Except it was so much more. He watched over her. He protected her. It felt amazing to be in such capable, committed hands. “I guess we need to refocus.” Gamer Con was a limited day conference. Kit couldn't spend the day hiding because she felt ill and was embarrassed about her behavior. Griffin seemed indifferent to it. Maybe it wasn't a big deal. “I feel fine now. I want to track down at least one or two of the hackers I know to help me with the Locker.”

“You set the pace.”

Kit took a shower and changed into street clothes. After the doctor from the West Company visited and confirmed she was fine, but advised her to drink fluids and rest, she felt better about the whole ordeal.

“We need to change into our costumes,” Kit said.

“We're not dressing as the vampire people again?” Griffin asked.

She couldn't play that video game again or hear the word
vampire
without thinking about how sexy Griffin had looked in his costume or how it had felt to rub against him. From what she remembered, he had been kind but firm against anything transpiring between them. It was a compliment to his sense of honor and a blow to her ego.

She couldn't even seduce a man while she was blatantly throwing herself at one.

“We have new costumes for today,” she said, wishing she had ordered dragons or head-to-toe ninja outfits. Although Griffin would look unbearably hot in either, at least she wouldn't feel so exposed.

“Good. My vampire costume is still wet.”

“From what?” As the question left her mouth, she remembered. She had asked him to shower with her and he had, wearing his clothes. Humiliation burned through her. She wasn't a seductress. But standing fully clothed in the shower spoke to his disinterest. Could she use the word
repulsion
?

Griffin might have been trying to be an honorable man by keeping his distance, but if Kit had half the appeal her sister had, he would have failed.

She handed him the garment bag with his costume, but he didn't open it.

He cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about what happened between us?”

Not on her last day. “I'd rather not relive it.”

“Is your memory okay? Do you remember last night?”

It was foggy. “Bits and pieces.”

“You have nothing to worry about. Nothing happened.”

He was putting a fine point on it. “You saw me naked.”

“I did.”

She could not look him in the eye. “How do you feel about last night?”

“Guilty. I should have noticed someone touching you with the drug,” he said.

What about when they'd been alone and she'd been throwing herself at him? He didn't seem like the type to have a laugh at her expense, but was he disgusted? Angry? Frustrated that he'd been saddled with her? She was embarrassed enough to let him leave and be assigned to another operative. “Do you want to call Connor and ask him to assign me to someone else?”

He appeared confused. “Is that what you want?”

Kit leveled with him. “I'm embarrassed.”

“No need,” he said.

His statement didn't change anything. Could she continue on with him as her protector knowing she had made a fool of herself? He might think about it every time he looked at her. Would he think differently of her? His phone buzzed and he answered it.

“Right. Okay. We'll be careful. Thanks, Connor.”

“What's happened?” she asked.

“I have some bad news. Connor's learned that you weren't the only woman who was exposed to rapture last night. Every woman who's reported she was drugged is a brunette, same height and build as you, and has similar features.”

Was she being targeted specifically, or did the attacker have some bizarre fascination with brunettes? “Are the others okay?” She'd had Griffin to protect her, but not every woman would have been as lucky.

“One woman is in the hospital with dehydration and alcohol poisoning, and the drug in her system. The rest are okay.”

“Do you think this has anything to do with Incognito?”

“Someone at the rave could have tried to lure you away and question you to find out if you are Lotus. Under the effects of the drug, you would have gone anywhere with anyone who was promising sex.”

She winced as another memory struck her. The promise of sex. Griffin had told her he would sleep with her if she still wanted to after twenty-four hours. Did he remember that? She wouldn't bring it up.

“There's a security conference in Washington, DC, this week. Connor has intel that Incognito is looking for you there, as well.”

Kit ran a shaky hand through her hair. “Do we need to leave? Is it too dangerous to be here?”

“We have work to do to protect the Locker. If this is the best place for you to assemble your team, I'll keep you safe.”

Kit had to forget about what had happened during her drug-induced failed seduction. At least it had been a failed seduction. How would she have lived with herself if she'd had to tell Griffin that she was a novice at everything in the bedroom? It was a scenario in which being under the influence would not have helped her.

Her inhibitions would have been lower, but she wouldn't have been able to think as clearly about what she was doing. She needed to think through the steps. Like when she was designing a software program or playing a video game, she liked to see the big picture first and break it down into smaller tasks.

The big picture with Griffin was unclear. He was her bodyguard, protector, but not a friend. He'd been good to her the night before, and he was keeping their boundaries firm and clear. She wouldn't presume an emotional relationship between them, but she was attached to him. Once before she had made the mistake of believing a man's kindness to her was affection. But that situation had been a disaster, and it wouldn't happen again.

Chapter 6

K
it was struggling with what had happened the night before, but Griffin stayed cool and casual about it. He had seen some strange situations in his career, and this was another of them. No big deal.

Except it was a big deal to him. Images of Kit naked had been burned into his brain. Her pink lips, her soft skin and her curvy frame rubbing against him were too memorable, replaying too often.

Disguises or not, the longer he and Kit lingered at this conference, the more likely she would be recognized. Losing focus while Incognito was looking for her was dangerous. The costumes helped their cover, but someone would figure out who she was. Her real name, her former hacker name and her contributions to the Locker being classified hadn't stopped Incognito from kidnapping members of the team. Brunettes who looked like Kit had been targeted. Someone had a description of her, maybe even a picture. They had attacked her at her sister's party. They knew far too much for Griffin to rest easy.

Kit's Rainbow Sparkle character's outfit was described by the name. She adjusted the glitter-covered mask over her face. It accented her deep brown eyes, and Griffin had trouble not staring at her. He needed to watch the space around her. As last night had proven, someone could get close enough to hurt her.

His costume was for a character named Dragonfly. Dragonfly's outfit was navy velvet pants and a white button-down shirt. It was not a look he liked.

Kit led him to the lobby bar, where a social event was scheduled. It was loud and almost everyone had a phone in their hand, talking and typing, chatting and multitasking.

Kit was no exception. “I'm looking for a hacker named Evasion. I heard from a mutual friend she's here. She hasn't responded to my messages.”

“How do you know her?” Griffin asked.

“We taught a class together. An online class,” Kit said.

Griffin imagined it was the type of class the authorities would have loved to be invited to but were likely excluded from.

“What does she look like?” he asked, surveying the crowd.

“Never met her. On the insides of her wrists, she has a tattoo of jesters, like on playing cards. She complained about them when she was first inked because they slowed down her typing for a few days.”

It was warm enough that most people had exposed wrists. Griffin searched as they moved through the crowd. Kit drew to a stop. She whirled and looked up at him with huge eyes.

“Find her?”

She shook her head. “I see someone who might recognize me.”

Griffin slipped his arm around her, shielding her face against him and moving her in the opposite direction. Her costume was good, but he couldn't risk it.

Kit stopped and pushed him slightly. “Maybe I'm overreacting. He could be someone I can trust.”

Unlikely. If he was a known associate of Lotus, Incognito might have already put out the word they were looking for her and offering a hefty reward. “We can't trust anyone.”

Kit licked her lower lip. “This person we can.”

“How do you know?”

“I can trust him.” She sounded more confident, and the alarm in her voice was gone.

Maybe it was the slight breeziness of her voice or the awe when she spoke about him, but Griffin had the sense she was holding something back. “Details, Kit, or we're leaving.”

Kit pressed a hand over her stomach. “I shouldn't be nervous. He's a member of the military. He's very capable. Strong.”

Irrational jealousy poked at him. “You have a personal relationship with him?” Griffin asked, not liking that idea in the least.

“We were, we are...something. Not friends exactly. Not colleagues, either. I don't have a word for it.”

Lovers? Friends with benefits? “You want to talk to him. Can he help you now?”

She inclined her head. “Not technically. He's keyed into this world. He might know something and if he doesn't, I should warn him that Incognito is active.”

“Does he need to know about that?” Griffin asked. “If he was involved with the project and he's with the military, he would have been apprised of the situation.”

“He wasn't directly involved. He served as part of the security team in a no-explanations-given capacity. I'll talk to him. I want to talk to him.”

“I can't let you approach him in public. If he says your name and someone overhears it, our cover is blown.” Their already shaky cover.

“Please, Griffin. Don't make me tell you the whole story. Just understand that I need to talk to him and we can trust him.”

Griffin looked into her pleading eyes and relented. “Give me a minute to work out a plan. Maybe you can talk somewhere private.”

Kit inhaled. “Alone?”

He had a visceral reaction to the idea. “I would be there.”

Kit brought her hands together and wrung them. Griffin tried to understand. Did this man make her happy or nervous? She was acting like she was meeting an old boyfriend. Was that their relationship? Something that had started while Kit was working on the Locker and had ended over professional ethics or logistics?

Formulating a plan, Griffin led Kit to the patio outside the bar. It was surrounded by a wrought iron fence with no access from the street.

It was hot, and the shade from an awning provided only a slight amount of cooling. Kit sat at the one table half in the shade.

“Tell me which one he is,” Griffin said.

She lifted her hand and pointed. “Him.”

Griffin turned to see a man in a starched polo shirt and khakis stepping onto the patio. Griffin's hand went to his gun.

“Kit?” the man asked, smiling at her. He strode to her, never taking his eyes off her.

Kit glanced at Griffin before standing and greeting the other man. A mix of curiosity and jealousy struck Griffin.

They embraced, and Kit closed her eyes when he hugged her. He was most definitely her former lover. He knew her real name. What else did he know? Had she shared secrets with him while they shared a pillow?

After a brief exchange of pleasantries, Kit gestured to Griffin. “Lawrence, this is my friend Michael. Michael, Lawrence.”

Griffin was pleased she hadn't given his real name. He shook the other man's hand.

Kit gestured for Lawrence to sit across from her. “What are you doing here?”

Lawrence sat and adjusted his chair, moving it closer to Kit. “We're looking for you.”

Griffin was prepared to disable Lawrence if he made a move against Kit. Military man or not, Griffin has his orders.

Kit appeared nervous and clasped her hands in her lap. “Don't use my name,” Kit warned him. “I still don't want to be found. Who is ‘we'?”

“I'm here with Zoya. We heard the team was being hunted.”

“Are you safe?” Kit asked.

Lawrence laughed with an edge of nervousness about it. “You don't have to worry about us. I'm always carrying a weapon. I look out for Zoya.”

Kit flinched. “Where is she now?”

Who was Zoya? Griffin didn't recall her name from the profiles he'd been given from the West Company.

“She is safe. Don't worry. We're worried about you.”

Kit adjusted her mask and tipped it back off her face. “Lawrence, we shouldn't be seen together.” She looked over her shoulder at the door to the hotel. She had more to say, but she stopped speaking. Kit did that often enough. Why didn't she speak her mind? Now was her chance to talk to this character.

“Let's have dinner tonight in my room. We can talk more then,” Lawrence said.

The intense expression on his face unnerved Griffin.

“Talk about what?” Griffin asked. They were not at the conference to socialize and catch up with old friends for the sport of it.

Lawrence frowned at him. “I know what has been going on. I have information you may find useful.”

Information or rumors?

Kit touched the ends of her hair. “We can meet. Michael will need to join us.”

Lawrence took Kit's hands, and Griffin stifled a growl. “You don't trust me?” Lawrence asked.

Kit looked at their hands. “I do, but Michael trusts no one.”

Kit said Lawrence could be trusted, but Griffin didn't accept that at face value. He would have the West Company dig around about Lawrence and Zoya. If they were working with Incognito or had a brief association with them, they were the enemy. “Come on. We need to go,” Griffin said. Being outside for too long would draw attention. Griffin didn't want their pictures taken or anyone to grow curious enough to look twice.

“Tonight. Six o'clock. Room eighteen twelve,” Lawrence said.

Kit glanced at Griffin for approval.

“Fine,” Griffin said. Kit stood, and Griffin guided her away from Lawrence.

When they were out of earshot, Griffin lowered his mouth to her ear. “Are you sure we can trust him?”

“Yes.”

“What about Zoya?” Griffin asked.

“She's his girlfriend. Fiancée. Wife. One of those.” Kit sounded contemplative.

Griffin didn't like it. He texted Lawrence's and Zoya's names to Kate West for a more thorough investigation. Kate would dig up any skeletons in their closets.

“We'll keep searching for your friend. Your other friend,” Griffin said, wanting to keep them on track.

If Kit was his distraction, Lawrence was hers. He'd prefer if they stayed away from him, but Kit had other ideas.

* * *

“Tell me more about the hackers we're looking for,” Griffin said.

Kit had a short list of hackers she wanted to contact. She was being careful reaching out to people over the computer, worried that someone who knew her as Lotus would figure out she was at Gamer Con and connect her online persona with her real one.

If Incognito was aware of who she was, so were others.

“In addition to Evasion, I'm looking for a guy who goes by the name Swift,” Kit said.

“Is he a fast typist?” Griffin asked.

“Yes.” Most hackers were. Swift's nickname came from his ability to get into and out of a secure site faster than most. Kit wouldn't out his crimes to Griffin. Though Swift's bio was in an online encyclopedia, Kit respected the privacy of her fellow hackers. She played by the unwritten rules of a hacker's code of honor, and that meant keeping the authorities out of the loop whenever possible. In this case, Griffin was the authorities.

Like most of the people she was close to in the hacker community, Swift was also her personal friend. In fact, Swift was the first and only man she'd had a serious relationship with. She and Swift had many common interests. Beyond gaming, they loved security protocols and had enjoyed lively debates about the best methods to secure a server or a website or a personal laptop.

“Do I need to be worried that he knows about your involvement with...”

Griffin didn't need to say “with the Locker.”

“He knows nothing about that. He knows me only as Orchid. I met him online after I was finished with that project.”

Concern creased the corners of Griffin's eyes. “Tell me more about Swift.”

Griffin didn't have time to vet Swift. Kit gave him the quick and dirty. “He's someone I used to date. My most serious relationship.” Swift would be easier to find since he had registered for a booth to sell portable laptop desks and had used his online name for the promo.

“Bad idea to bring an old lover into this,” Griffin said.

Kit wasn't sure she'd given Griffin the right information about Swift.
Lover
implied intimacies she hadn't shared with him. The end of her relationship with Swift had been dramatic, but the sting of his betrayal was long gone. “He doesn't hold a grudge. He cheated on me. If anyone should be mad over how the relationship ended, it's me.”

“You're not mad at him and harboring residual anger?” Griffin asked.

“No.” She had been at first. But dragging around resentment was harder on her than on Swift.

Kit glanced at Griffin's face. He revealed no discernible emotion. Describing his stare as vacant wouldn't have been accurate. He was watching, observing and thinking a few steps ahead. No emotion, though.

“He said he needed physical contact.” Why was she still babbling to Griffin about Swift? It didn't matter why their relationship had ended. It was likely not one reason. Online relationships were as complex and difficult to navigate as in-person ones, sometimes more so because the distance left more leeway for lies.

“What does that mean?” Griffin asked.

Online relationships operated under their own rules. Griffin couldn't understand it, or worse, he would judge her.

She'd give Griffin the ten-second explanation. “Swift and I met online. We lived a thousand miles apart. We didn't meet in person. We had planned to meet, but we broke up before then.” She hadn't rushed to meet him. Meeting a new person was anxiety-causing. A disruption in her daily routine was stressful enough to have her put the trip off with excuses for several months.

Griffin blinked at her. “Your most serious relationship was with someone you didn't see in person?”

He sounded confused, and she had to explain and justify what she and Swift had. “We talked every day. Multiple times a day. It was intimate. And we had cybersex.” She added the last statement in case Griffin thought she was too boring.

“What is that, like sexting?” he asked.

“Similar. But we talked over the instant messenger service on our private servers.”

“He would type to you and you would type to him.” He still sounded bewildered.

“Right.”

“You didn't want the real thing?” Griffin asked.

His question ignited her defensiveness. “What we had was the real thing. What wasn't real about it?”

Griffin inclined his head. He didn't sound judgmental, just like he was trying to understand. “How do you have a relationship with someone that doesn't include holding his hand and touching him and kissing him?”