Delta Force Desire (7 page)

Most of her relationships could be described as not involving touching. “We had emotional intimacy. It was modern.”

“If modern dating means more time with my hands on a keyboard and less time with my hands on my girlfriend, then forget it.”

Based on how women looked at Griffin, he'd had his share of interested partners and had likely taken a few home with him. “It's stressful to meet someone new. It's stressful to go on dates.”

“The upside is huge. When it works, it's amazing,” Griffin said.

Given her behavior the night before, he had the wrong idea about her. She hadn't had sex with a man. “I suppose.”

“I don't like first dates, either, but sometimes they can be great. A little ice breaking and then it's smooth sailing. Instead of pushing through some awkwardness, you avoid it?” Griffin asked.

Her sister had accused her of the same thing, telling her she needed to leave her room, go out and meet men. Kit had tried, but she was better at talking over the computer. “I tried online dating, but it was too hard to move past the online part. I'm more comfortable conversing with a couple of computers between us.”

“You've been doing well in person here.”

She felt safe at Gamer Con, knowing she was among people who were similar to her and Griffin was keeping her safe. “This has taken me outside my comfort zone in a zillion ways. I'm doing this because I know lives are at stake.”

“Then this Swift is some Casanova of the computer?” Griffin asked.

“He's good with words, yes. He is also able to break most security protocols and exploit almost any piece of software.” Which would be handy if they needed to destroy the copy of the Locker.

“But he doesn't like touching women.” Griffin's lip twitched, fighting a smile.

Kit rolled her eyes. “He does. That was one of our problems.”

“Lead the way to this master of the computer who somehow seduces women without being in the same room with them. Maybe he can teach me a thing or two.”

“I get the feeling few men could teach you much about women. You seem to handle us just fine. You handled me fine last night.” She blushed, the words coming out wrong. “I mean, you kept me from further injuring myself.”

“Doing my job,” he said and cleared his throat.

Except when he went out of his way to assist her, it felt like he was doing more than a job. He was being a friend to her.

* * *

Swift was easy to find. He wasn't in hiding, and by asking around, Kit was pointed to the main sales area, where vendors had set up displays to demo their latest games, equipment and computer accessories.

Kit spotted Swift from thirty feet away. She stilled, peering at him from around another stall. He looked as she remembered over their video chats. He was tall, maybe as tall as Griffin, but slender. He dressed as she would have expected, well-worn jeans and a bright hooded sweatshirt. He wore his black hair long in the front and shaved short around the sides and back. His bangs hung over his right eye and he flicked his head to move them.

Swift was speaking to another man. He laughed at something the man said and turned his head in her direction. She ducked behind the stall.

“What's the matter?” Griffin asked. “Changed your mind?”

Not exactly changed her mind. She was filled with self-conscious thoughts. Swift had dumped her because she wasn't interesting enough. She wasn't sexy enough. If he had wanted to be with her, he would have driven to see her when she was ready. He would have invited her to his place. He would have set up a weekend for them at a romantic bed-and-breakfast. The list of what she had wanted from the relationship and hadn't gotten ran through her head.

She hadn't been aware she had wanted those things. Wasn't she happy being in an online relationship? Wasn't that ideal for her? “Talking to him is harder than I thought. It's been enough time that it shouldn't bother me, but I feel weak.”

“Weak?” Griffin asked, concern in his voice.

“He's in a position of power, and I'm begging him for a favor.”

The expression on Griffin's face said he didn't like that much at all. “You're not begging this clown for anything. If he wants to help with one of the most prestigious computer security projects on the planet, then fine, he has an in. But if he doesn't, then forget him.”

Kit straightened her shoulders and smoothed her hair. She checked that her costume was in place and approached slowly. She felt like she had rocks in her shoes and she willed herself not to trip, stutter or otherwise make a fool of herself.

If she had some of her sister's grace or her mother's confidence or her brother's charm, she could have used it. Her mother half-jokingly said that she'd been given the lion's share of the brains in the family, but none of the beauty. Childhood teasing from her mother that still hurt.

Her mother hadn't understood why Kit didn't want to attend her high school prom. Kit had been too embarrassed to admit that no one had asked her to be his date. Her mother didn't understand why Kit hadn't gone on an island vacation for spring break when she was in college. No friends had included her in their plans. A lifetime of social rejections that led to computers being at the top of the list for the best place for Kit to socialize. Behind the screen of a computer, she was safe and all anyone could see was her intellect. That had been her best—maybe only—strength, and she wielded it like a sword online.

Her intellect didn't translate well in real life, especially when it was hidden beneath her awkwardness and stuttering.

“Hey, are you okay?” Griffin asked, taking her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

“I can do this.” Speaking to Swift in person for the first time was a hurdle she hadn't crossed during their relationship, but she could handle it now. She had Griffin with her, and this wasn't about her insecurities and fears. This was bigger. If Incognito gained control of the Locker, Kit knew the consequences could be dire.

Meeting Griffin's gaze, she lost her train of thought. She could have lost herself in his deep green eyes. He had this serious and concerned way of looking at her that made her feel both vulnerable and protected.

What did Swift see when he looked at her? What did other people see? “Do people assume you're all brawn and no brains?” she asked.

Broad, sinewy shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Probably.” He seemed indifferent to the idea.

“Does that bother you?”

He shook his head. “It doesn't matter what others think about me.”

A lot of people claimed they didn't care what others thought about them. She had made the same statement many times, but deep down, she did care. However, Griffin was confident in himself and his abilities. He was strong and smart, and he owned it.

“It matters to me what Swift thinks.” She would leave it at that. In her dream world, Swift would see her and realize what he was missing. When she had confronted him with the evidence of his cheating, he had called her a stalker, and they hadn't spoken since. Maybe now he would apologize for cheating on her and admit he missed their conversations. Then she could reject him and regain some of her dignity.

Swift might not be her favorite person, but he was talented. He could help counter Incognito's attempts at taking control of the Locker.

Griffin glanced over at Swift. “If you don't want to talk to him, then forget it. Plenty of other recruits in this hotel.”

Swift's computer security countermeasures were legendary. “Swift has the skills to help us. He's the best at what he does.” That had to take priority over her personal feelings and insecurities.

Griffin set his hand on her lower back. “I'm right behind you.”

Swift knew she was Orchid, but she had never confided in him about her work with the Locker or her former persona, Lotus.

Though having Griffin close would have felt good, she wanted to do this alone. She had to prove to herself she had grown from the experience. “You can hang back. I can do this.” Swift might think Griffin was a fed and get spooked.

Taking a deep breath and wishing she was a little drunk for this, she strolled to see him. When he caught her eye, she waved. He glanced at her, turned to the guys on either side of him and said something to them. They snickered, and her confidence took a bullet to the heart. She almost lost her nerve, but she gritted her teeth, lifted her chin and pinned back her shoulders. Griffin was watching. She would not turn and run.

Swift sauntered to her, hands shoved in his front jeans pockets. His orange hoodie was baggy, and he leaned forward, hunching his shoulders.

This was a simple conversation, and to botch this would be humiliating. If she were rejected by the people she considered acquaintances and associates, who else did she have in her life?

“Hey, Swift.” She tried to hide the nervous shaking in her hands. She adjusted her mask so he could see her face.

His eyes lit. “Kit. You look good.” He moved her wig's bangs to the side.

When his fingers brushed her forehead, she leaned away.

She didn't return the compliment. Though his appearance was something she dug, since meeting Griffin, she decided something—and someone—else interested her. This was about a job, and her previous attraction to Swift was irrelevant.

“I need to talk with you about something,” Kit said. She wished she had a better opening line than that.

He folded his arms over his chest. “If this is about what happened between us, I don't want to have a big fight in public over it. It was years ago. It's over. I've moved on.”

His words stung more than they should have. “It's not about our past,” she said, feeling embarrassed and then mad at herself for feeling embarrassed. Why should she feel bad? She wasn't the one who had cheated. “I wanted to talk to you about a job.”

“I don't give security consults without signing a contract first and being put on retainer,” he said.

This could be the biggest job of his career. “Not even for an old friend?”

“Friends? Is that your way of trying to pin me down? I'm dating a lot of women. I don't want to settle down,” he said and patted her on the shoulder.

“I'm not asking you to date me,” she said.

“You want to go somewhere and have cybersex?” He laughed. “Because I need a woman who will do more than talk about sex.”

Heat flamed up her neck.

Why was Swift being a jerk to her?

Kit felt hot tears coming to her eyes. He was humiliating her. People were walking by and looking at them. She hated feeling this way. This was a prime example of why she preferred online life. Online, she was quick-witted, and she could sign off and walk away from her computer. Here, she had nowhere to go, and her tongue felt too big for her mouth. Quick retorts weren't spilling out. Running away was pathetic, and while it was unlikely that anyone would remember the woman in the rainbow wig, similar to dozens of others, she felt on display. And he was making a mockery of her.

“I'm only interested in talking with you about a job,” she said. She gave herself credit for getting that much out and staying calm and collected. She hadn't stuttered and she had maintained her professionalism, even if what he deserved was a kick in the shins.

“Unless it's a blow job, I'm not interested.”

Kit could not believe he was being such a colossal jerk to her. “Why are you acting like this?” Her face was hot and her hands were trembling. No chance of hiding it.

“I'm not acting like anything. I'm trying to make it clear I'm not interested. You're not getting the message. I've got other women. Until you can learn to interact with men and do more than talk about sex, you'll be alone. It's pathetic that you came here looking for me and pretending you have some job to offer. Why are you really here? To get back at me?”

Kit swallowed. She'd walk away. Wasting time with Swift wasn't getting her anywhere, and she didn't know if she could work with him. Other people at the conference had the skills to help her. Maybe they weren't as notorious or experienced, but she couldn't stand working with Swift if this was his attitude toward her.

“Just forget I said anything,” Kit said.

Swift rolled his eyes. “Don't be dramatic. If you want, I'll let you give me a hand job behind the display. Although I would prefer if you'd use that mouth. Tell me, do you feel like taking an oral exam?”

Kit shook her head to clear the angry thoughts running through it. His ego was in need of validation, and she wouldn't stand here and let him use her to get it.

Griffin was at her side, moving so quietly and quickly she hadn't heard him approach. He slipped his arm around her shoulders, and where his skin brushed hers, she would have sworn she was on fire.

“Hey, baby, what's taking so long?” He pivoted her toward him and delivered the most life-altering, soul-shaking kiss. She melted against him, and thank God his strong arms were banded around her waist, because she would have crumpled to the floor. His mouth opened hers and she was his, willing and ready. He could have stripped off her clothes and she wouldn't have protested.

His lips massaged hers, and his tongue stroked against hers in an erotically charged manner. Griffin pulled her hips to his. Tucked against him, she felt divine. If this was a precursor to sex, she had waited far too long to try it out.

The kiss was over in seconds, and he kept his arm around her possessively. Kit couldn't engage her brain. Her lips were burning and her body tingled. She wanted more of what he had delivered.

“You must be Sniff,” Griffin said.

When she finally tore her eyes away from Griffin's beautiful face and lips, she leaned against him, partly because she was into her role of his lover and partly because it felt amazing to be with him. Had Griffin felt the soul-shaking energy, too? Was every kiss that amazing?