Authors: Daniela Reyes
Olivia liked the little two-story brick house. It had a matching red chimney and an office that took up the majority of the first floor. The kitchen looked like it had been cut out of a home and garden magazine.
“Liv, I’m in here.”
Olivia stepped into kitchen. The tile felt cold against her bare feet. The smell of pancakes greeted her before her mother did.
“You remember the recipe?” she asked, walking up to her mom.
Her mom nodded. “It’s a family recipe.” She laughed. “Actually, I found it in an old newspaper once during my first Christmas with your dad. I convinced him it was passed down from generations back.”
Olivia didn’t smile at the mention of her father.
“Do you want to open presents before breakfast? I have to head out to the airport soon.” She had rehearsals for her a new musical she had a supporting role in. It was one of the biggest roles she had been offered in her career.
“I forgot you were leaving today.” Her mom turned. “Sometimes I like to pretend you’re not some adult, climbing her way up in the acting world. It makes me feel old.”
She nudged her mom. “You’re not old. And I’m not a complete adult, I’m twenty-three. I still have another seven years before I can be called an official one. Fifty isn’t old either, mom.”
“I know,” her mom said. “Let’s eat our pancakes first.”
They ate the star shaped delicacies. The one thing that was missing was the chocolate sauce, but breakfast was good, nonetheless. Then they opened the few presents that remained under the tree. They were going to London and then they were taking a road trip through Scotland. The gifts went along with the visiting the UK theme.
“I’m going to call and confirm my flight,” Olivia said. Her mom nodded and busied herself with throwing out the gift-wrap.
She called and plugged in her flight’s number. It had been cancelled due to the previous night’s snowstorm. She hung up, wondering how she could get back to her rehearsals sooner.
“I’m going to try and move to the soonest flight,” she said.
Her mom stood from her spot next to the tree. “Olivia wait. I know your rehearsals are important, but since you’re going to be in town for the morning, maybe you should stop by and visit.”
“Visit who exactly?”
“Isabel turned seven,” her mom said.
Olivia ended her call with the airline. “Are you still talking to dad?”
“From time to time. He says she asks about you, and he doesn’t know what to say to her.”
“Well that’s his fault, not mine,” Olivia said.
“I didn’t say it was your fault, Liv. Please let me finish.”
“There’s nothing to finish, mom. I’m not going to let him guilt me into anything.”
Her mom sighed. “Do it for me then. Visit Isabel once. If you never want to see her again, then I won’t ask you to.”
Olivia stared at her mom. It was the first time she had requested her to do anything in regards to her ex-husband. She knew there was no denying the request. It didn’t mean she couldn’t protest.
“I can’t,” she said. “It’s been years.”
“More time will pass and years will turn into decades, and Isabel will never get to meet you. I’m not asking you to have a relationship with him. I know that what he did can’t be undone. But she’s a little girl, and she has no fault in what you may feel toward him”
“I know that,” Olivia said. She didn’t blame anyone but Jocelyn, and her dad.
“I made them pancakes,” she said. “I wrapped up a gift for Isabel. You can bring it on your behalf.”
“You planned this,” Olivia said.
“I may have called in to check on your flight earlier this morning. The rest was just guess work.”
“Mom…”
“Liv…”
And that was the end of the conversation. An hour later Olivia was trying to wade her way through inches of snow on the road. The GPS barely worked, but she knew where her dad lived. It was the same house she had spent two years living in during her high school years.
“Turn left,” the GPS spewed out. “Make a U turn.”
She shut it off and followed the path she knew. The roads were empty. The car was silent. It gave her time to think and to regret. She wondered if her dad knew she was coming. He probably did. But then again, he hadn’t tried to talk to her in years. Then she regretted, not about her parents, but about how easily she had let Simon slip back into her life.
He’d shown up as an intern on one of the productions she worked on that past May. She’d done everything to ignore him. Then he’d gone up to her one night, the same day she saw Mimi in the restaurant, the day she had chosen to give Nick the space he wanted, and he had asked her to meet him after the play.
Olivia had gone, not because she wanted to, but because it would be the easiest way to tell him off, away from the rest of the crew, without causing a scene.
“I want you to know that what I did back in college, I regret it every day,” he said out of the blue.
“I’m sure you do,” she had said, as bitterly as was possible. “Is that all?”
“I’m not trying to get you back, I promise,” he had continued on. “Just let me finish.”
“No. You don’t get to finish.”
He’d stopped walking then. And he stared right at her. “I just want you to know that what happened was because I’m the jerk. It had nothing to do with you. You were a good girlfriend, one of my better ones.”
She tilted her head, not caring about what else to say, but knowing what had led to his change of heart. “Someone gave you a taste of your own medicine.”
He nodded. No hesitation. “Yeah. An actress. I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with the lead in her play.”
Olivia laughed at that. “Well. I was never in love with you.” She’d never been, but that hadn’t lessened the hurt.
Simon started walking again at that point. “I know. You were in love with him. That’s what helped me justify what I did.”
“In love with…” she realized who he meant. “Nick? I wasn’t in love with him.”
“Whatever you say,” Simon said. Then he had walked her to her apartment, and somehow they had been able to maintain a civil work relationship for the past seven months.
Olivia pulled into her dad’s neighborhood. The gate code hadn’t changed. Her fingers froze as she punched it in.
It took her two seconds to reach their house at the end of the street. It hadn’t changed. Her stomach shook at the sight of it. She parked her mom’s car and waited. Maybe she could turn back. But she knew she wouldn’t. This wasn’t for her dad. It was for the parent that she actually cared about.
Olivia breathed in the frigid air, making the pain in her throat become more prominent.
She stepped out of the car, almost slipping on the iced driveway.
One step at a time, somehow she made it to the front door. It took her two minutes to ring the doorbell. If she ran back to the car now, Olivia knew she’d slip on the ice.
The door opened. There was no one behind it. She looked down.
“Are you Olivia?” a tiny voice asked. Isabel stood, taller than she remembered. Her eyes were their father’s, her smile Jocelyn’s.
Olivia nodded. She grasped onto the present, handing it over to the little girl. “Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas I guess.”
Isabel smiled. She was missing her two front teeth. “Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.” Her voice was soft and eager.
“Who is it?” someone called out from inside. “I told you not to open the door without me…” It was Jocelyn. She stepped out toward the threshold, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Olivia. What are you doing here?”
Her voice was worn and tight. She stared at Olivia as if she were seeing a phantom reappear from its deathbed.
Olivia stared at the woman she had hated for so many years. “I came to say hello,” she managed.
“It’s cold. Mom let her come in,” Isabel said. She reached out and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her into the house before Jocelyn could object.
“Honey, who is it?” A third voice joined in.
Her dad froze a few feet from them. “Liv,” he said. A thin smile appeared on his face. “You came.”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m not staying too long. I just came to drop off a present.”
“Can I show her my room?” Isabel asked. She still had Olivia’s hand wrapped inside her tiny palm.
Jocelyn and her father exchanged glances, before agreeing to the request. “Go ahead. We’ll be out here.”
Isabel dragged Olivia into the hall. The layout hadn’t changed. It was one straight passage, all the rooms off in different directions. They stopped at the one at the end of the hall. It had once been her room.
“I can show you all the toys I got for Christmas,” Isabel said. They stepped into the bedroom. The walls had been colored pink and the bed had a princess castle theme.
Olivia looked around. There were drawings of musical notes and a collage of pictures everywhere. She squinted trying to make out who the same person was in all of them. Then she realized she was the chosen subject. Some were blurry, some were close ups, but most were taken from far off angles. She recognized her various costumes through the years. Some shots were from her first performance in college.
“Why do you have all of those?” she asked the little girl.
Isabel turned and gave her a gapped smile. “In case someone doesn’t believe me.”
“Believe you about what?”
Her smile widened. “That my sister’s a famous actress.”
Olivia took a step back. The words made her feel like someone had punched out all the air in her lungs. She stared around the room again and then back at the little girl she had spent seven years resenting. Isabel kept a smile on her face.
“I need to go,” Olivia said. She released Isabel’s hand and turned out of the room. Her dad tried to talk to her as she left the house, but he didn’t follow her out.
She pulled the car out of the neighborhood and parked at a nearby gasoline station. Then she pressed her head against the steering wheel, and holding a hand to her mouth, she cried. Her mom hadn’t been lying. Her dad had come to her performances, and he’d brought Isabel.
Isabel, not Jocelyn’s daughter or the little girl she never wanted to see, but Isabel her sister. Olivia breathed through her tears not knowing what to say. This wasn’t about her dad anymore or what he had done to her. She was the adult now, and her actions could impact a little girl stuck in the middle of everything.
She knew she’d have to start somewhere, but she had no clue as to where. For now though, Olivia sat in her mom’s car, her hands numb, cheeks warm, and for the first time in her life she acknowledged a fact she hadn’t wanted to.
“I have a sister,” she said to herself.
28
March 26,2014
“Do I get a front row seat?” Isabel asked.
Olivia held on to her sister’s hand as they walked through the Glensford College campus. The last bits of winter were slowly melting away, making a clear path for the new growth of Spring.
“I think that’s what Mr. Choi said. There won’t be too many people. It’s mostly students.”
“It’s going to be packed,” her sister said. She jumped over a puddle of melted snow. “You’re famous.”
Olivia smiled at that. It never got old, the admiration and zeal Isabel had when trying to convince everyone else in the world that Olivia was some sort of celebrity.
“What time is daddy coming to pick me up?” Isabel asked.
“After lunch,” she said. It had been almost three months since Christmas, and although the issues she had with him had not been mended, things were better.
She picked up Isabel whenever she came into town, and they went out for ice cream or to watch a movie together. It was like getting to know a person that had been a stranger for seven years, except this stranger was her sister.
“Is that the building?” Isabel asked, pointing to the Lawrence Theater.
Olivia nodded. It was the first time anyone had requested a public interview with her. She’d done radio shows and a few magazine snippets, but mostly as a part of a larger group of actors. This was the first time she was going at it alone, and walking inside the theater was gut wrenching.
The first person she had wanted to tell about it had been Nick. She had tried to call his phone number, but it seemed that he had changed it. Either that, or he still wanted the space she had allotted him for almost three years now.
Olivia checked in with the Mr. Choi, the drama teacher that had contacted her a few weeks back. He was a new professor, young and handsome, a first generation Korean-American.
She met him outside the theater. He introduced himself to Isabel, before showing her to the seat, that upon Olivia’s request, he had reserved for her in the very front of the auditorium they were using.