Delayed (23 page)

Her mom shook her head. “I regret thinking that by letting you keep your distance from him, I was somehow letting you heal on your own terms. I think it only made you resent him more.”
 

“He cheated on you,” Olivia said. “I will never forgive him for that.”
 

Her mom gave her a gentle smile. “Don’t forgive him because you think he deserves it, Liv. Do it for your own sake. If you don’t, it’s only going to damage the way you see others.”
 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Not today,” Olivia said.
 

Her mom said nothing more on the matter. They ate, discussing other small topics for the night.
 

Yet, all Olivia could think about was how much she wanted to call her dad and tell him about all her future plans. If only it was that easy. If only one could forgive without forgetting. That wasn’t life, not hers anyways. If she ever forgave her dad, it would be because he came to her first.
 

26

May 25,2013
 

Mimi’s graduation came a year after Nick’s.
 

He spent the week working overtime so that he could compensate for the three days he had asked to have as unpaid vacation time. His colleagues were working on a new campaign for the Mayor’s upcoming reelection, and the work had been nonstop.
 

There were calls from supporters and endless events to plan, along with deciding which ads to run and through which mediums. It was like his job had become an all-encompassing position. Nick felt trapped in an endless loop that had become his life in Shepton.
 

He got up early in the morning, made the drive out the office, arriving roughly at eight. Then he didn’t come home until eight at night. Some days it was later, and some days were actually the majority of days. It wasn’t the time frame that Nick minded; it was the job.
 

He had signed up to run the research on local demographics, focusing on educational reforms and certain government aid programs, but he hadn’t been able to collect or analyze data in months. The worst part was that everyone around him loved their jobs. They had a passion for politics and debating on reforms. He liked to be alone, working in an office, and maybe meeting a co-worker for lunch.
 

Nick had actually started to meet one of his co-workers for lunch. Joy handled the publicity campaigns for the mayor. They had run into each other on his first day, and she had asked why he had never called her back. Somehow they made lunch plans and had continued on with the tradition. They hadn’t made anything too official, upon Joy’s insistence. She thought their age difference complicated things enough, the three years that it was.

“Mimi Rivero, founder of our school’s music appreciation club, and graduating Cum Laude.” San Mateo’s Principal Shepard handed Mimi her diploma.
 

She turned to Nick and gave him a closed mouth smile. Their dad snapped a picture, and Abuela cheered. Grandpa Felix hadn’t shown up not for a lack of trying. He wanted to stay with Grandma Joan, who had begun more intense treatments for her dementia.
 

Nick watched his sister stroll across the stage. She had dyed her previously highlighted hair into a single coat of black. It made her usually tan skin seem paler.
 

She walked off stage, other students followed. It seemed like tradition now that Mimi was headed off to Glensford College as well. She wanted to study broadcast journalism. The more he thought about it, the more Nick realized he barely knew the young woman she had grown into. No one really did. Mimi it seemed, like to keep her things very private, even from her family.
 

They left for an Italian restaurant in the San Mateo district, not too far from the school.
 
Nick sat next to Mimi, which at the moment felt like sitting next to a stranger. They hadn’t seen each other since Christmas day.
 

“I didn’t think you would show up,” she said while chewing on a breadstick.
 

“Why wouldn’t I show up? It’s your graduation.”
 

“I know,” she said. “You just seem busier now. You’re an actual adult. It’s hard to get used to.”
 

Their dad laughed at a joke Abuela told. Nick grabbed a second breadstick.
 

“You’re an adult too, and you’ll be a full fledged one in four years.”
 

She laughed at that. “Not if Abuela gets her way. If it were up to her, she’d send me an allowance until my deathbed.”
 

“Always her favorite,” he said. It was true. Whenever Abuela sent them birthday presents or Christmas cards, Mimi’s always had something extra: ten more dollars, a gift card to a nicer store. Nick didn’t complain though, since he knew Grandpa Felix had a special place for him.
 

He turned to look for the waitress. The saltiness of his breadsticks had cost him his cup of water, and all he could think about was a refill. He looked about the crowded restaurant, and then as if by magic, she appeared right in front of him.
 

It was Olivia, in the flesh, and wearing some type of period costume. A group of performers followed her inside. They laughed and talked. He didn’t recognize any of them, except for one. Simon was the last to walk in. He kept his distance from her.
 

Nick watched, wondering how he could hide from them. Maybe if he just turned back around he could unsee her. He tried.
 

“Isn’t that Olive?” Mimi asked. She squinted her eyes; he tried to pull his sister back. She raised her hand in the air, not taking notice of his attempts.
 

“Mimi. What are you doing?”
 

His sister stood up before he even finished asking the question. She walked over to Olivia, who at this point had already seen the table packed with his family members.
 

“Isn’t that your friend?” his dad asked.
 

“Your old
enamorada
, your girlfriend,” his Abuela added in. The rest of his cousins, uncles, and aunts turned to see who the girl was.
 

“Muy bonita,” one said.
 

“Why is she dressed like a history book character?” asked another.
 

Nick felt like hiding under the table. He watched Olivia. She gave Mimi a hug, and whispered something to her. The two girls exchanged something in their hands. He wondered what he was supposed to do. What would he say when she approached him?
 

That day at graduation, he hadn’t even asked her where she was going after. Despite wanting nothing more than to know what city she was going to move to, or what play he could see her perform in, he had restrained himself. Knowing things about her, it meant holding on to his feelings for Olivia. He had spent the last two years trying to let them go, trying to let her go.
 

She said a few more things to Mimi while her friends found a table. Nick turned. His family stopped taking an interest in the girl they thought he had been dating.
 

After a few minutes, Mimi returned to the table, alone. Olivia went back to rejoin her friends. Nick watched her leave, not even turning around to look at him.
 

“What did you two say to each other?” he asked.
 

His sister went back to looking like her usual, uninterested self. She took a sip of water, another bite of breadstick. “She wished me good luck in college. We talked about her performance. She’s in town for the next two nights.”
 

“She didn’t ask about me?”
 

Mimi shook her head. “She told me to tell you hello. I didn’t even think the two of you were talking.”
 

“We’re not,” he said, more bitterly than he wanted to sound. “Maybe she didn’t see me.”
 

“She saw you,” Mimi said. “Stop acting like a kid. If you want to talk to her, then go talk to her. Whatever fight you guys had, it’s been long enough.”
 

His sister sounded angry, not at Olivia but at him.
 

“We’re not in a fight,” he said. “We just grew apart.”
 

“Sure,” Mimi said. “Just like Diego and I didn’t break up. We grew apart.”
 

Nick stopped chewing on his soggy breadstick. “You guys broke up? When?”
 

The last he could remember, his sister had been celebrating an anniversary with her boyfriend.
 

Her face grew straight. “Like six months ago. He called me on Christmas to break things off.”
 

Christmas. Nick tried remembering that day. He had been in a hurry to catch the next available flight out to Shepton. Mimi had hugged him that day, something she rarely did anymore. And she had quietly asked him if he could stay one more day.
 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
 

She shrugged. “I wanted to. It’s not like it’s the big of a deal. People break up all the time.”
 

“You aren’t people,” Nick said. “You’re my sister.” He leaned his head toward her, but she looked away.
 

“She’s performing at the Galloway Center at seven. You should go,” she said.
 

He tilted his head, at the change in subject, realizing now she meant Olivia.
 

“Why would I go watch her perform?”
 

“Why wouldn’t you? I know you want to,” Mimi said. “I don’t get why it’s so hard for you to just do what you want. Stop putting it off.”
 

Nick stared at his sister. And for the first time in two years he felt like a complete and total idiot. Not a day had passed when he hadn’t wanted to call Olivia or find out how she was doing. The more time that passed, the larger the gap became.
 

They finished the graduation dinner, leaving before Olivia’s party did. Nick ran into his old bedroom and changed. He pulled on the only appropriate change of clothing that he had brought with him. Then he ran downstairs, where his sister was waiting for him.
 

She reached for his hand and placed something inside. “For luck,” she said.
 

Nick raised his eyebrows, recognizing the familiar shape of the keychain.
 

“Where did you get this?” he asked.
 

“Olivia’s graduation present,” Mimi said. “I thought you could borrow it for the night.”
 

He smiled at thought. Maybe Olivia wanted him to go to the performance, and was using Mimi as a safe intermediary.
 

“I’ll bring it back,” he said. As he ran out the door he thought about Joy. This shouldn’t affect their relationship. He wasn’t going to force Olivia into sharing his feelings, if anything he wanted to see if there was a part of their friendship that could be salvaged.
 

It’d been too long. He wanted to see her, hug her again, hear her voice and see her smile. When he got to the theater it was as if things were falling right into place. Nick got one of the last three tickets for that night’s performance.
 

He didn’t care that he had to sit in between two whining toddlers, or that he could barely see anything from the stage. He didn’t have to see Olivia to recognize her voice. She sang through her parts with more strength than he had ever heard her sing with. There was a passion that hadn’t been present during their college days.
 

When the performance ended he made his way around to the back of the theater to wait. Nick found himself pacing, wondering what to do with himself. He checked his watch. Then checked his phone to confirm the time. He paced some more before seeing a flower vendor a few steps from the Galloway Center.
 

Was it odd if he brought flowers? Friends could bring friends flowers. He had always brought flowers to her performances in school. The true question was where the two of them still friends?
 

Nick made his way around the crowd and purchased a bouquet. And for a moment, he felt like himself again. Like the part that had been missing from his puzzle piece of a life was slowly starting to fit back into place.
 

The back door to the theater opened, and all the performers staggered out. He noticed Olivia right away. She no longer wore her costume. A few fans greeted her, and she gave them a smile, the same smile she had once given him.
 

Nick stepped to a side and waited. When she was finally done he forced himself to walk toward her. She seemed to be looking around for someone, and then he realized whom.
 

Simon stepped out of the theater, coats in hand. He pressed a coat over her shoulders and she accepted it. The two of them briefly exchanged words before walking off in the other direction together.
 

Nick stepped back, realizing now why she hadn’t greeted him.
 

She’d gotten back together with the guy that had broken and stomped over her heart. Olivia didn’t need to answer his question. He gave the flowers to one of the other actresses and walked away, knowing there was nothing left of their friendship left to save.
 

27

December 25, 2013

It snowed that Christmas, a snowstorm like Glensford had never seen before. The windows were etched high with the white coat of winter. Olivia awoke to her mom’s singing. It was the first Christmas they had been able to spend together in a long time.
 

She went down the stairs, thinking back to the Christmas mornings of her childhood, when there were star shaped pancakes always waiting, a tree with whatever presents she had added to her list. Her dad would make a special chocolate and honey syrup, and they would all have breakfast, smiling, putting the troubles of months past, behind them for that one day.
 

“Mom?” she called out. Her mom had recently moved out of an apartment and into a new house.