Defy (30 page)

use magic to stop the one who killed him and my mother?”

General Tinso gave me a sad, knowing look. “He must have

been fighting someone who was more powerful than he was.”

“Well, how can you be sure I’m
not
a sorcerer, then?” I pressed.

“If you’re so sure Papa was one.”

“Because Eljin would have sensed it the moment he stepped

into the ring with you. And Iker would have had you killed long

ago. If the rumors are true, Iker’s power is expanding so that he

can sense another sorcerer anywhere in the same
room
.”

I suppressed a shiver. He was wrong — he
had
to be wrong.

Papa wasn’t a sorcerer. He wouldn’t have kept something like that

from me.

“If Iker can sense sorcerers from that far away . . .” Rylan

trailed off, glancing at Damian, whose expression was grim. He’d

been watching me the whole time, his eyes guarded.

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“If we were to try to storm the palace with every sorcerer in

Blevon, he would sense us before we ever got close enough to see

the king, let alone kill him. And he is powerful enough to destroy

us all.” General Tinso’s voice was quiet.

The bleakness of our situation was crushing. If what they were

telling us was true, there was no way we could ever stop King

Hector. The last small bit of hope I had of somehow helping end

this war died.

“If he can sense sorcerers like that, why didn’t he recognize

Eljin as one while he was there? Or Lisbet?” Rylan wondered.

“I told Eljin my father’s schedule while he was in the palace,

and he stayed as far away from him as possible, since we knew Iker

would always be with the king. Sometimes it’s beneficial to have

my rooms on the opposite side of the palace from theirs. And

Lisbet has been taking bloodroot for years to suppress her abilities, just in case Iker ever got anywhere near where she and Jax were

hiding,” Damian answered, walking toward me. I was right after

all; the bloodroot had been for Lisbet.

When he stopped right in front of me, I gazed up into his face,

knowing the hopelessness I felt was probably visible in my eyes.

“There’s nothing we can do, then,” I said quietly.

Damian took my hands in his. “There
is
something. But it’s a huge risk.”

I could feel the tension in him; it f lowed through his hands

into mine. “If there’s a possibility to stop the king, it would be

worth the risk, right?” I said.

“I used to think so,” he said, his eyes on mine.

“Damian, don’t let emotion cloud your judgment,” General

Tinso admonished sternly.

241

“Emotion about what? What’s the risk?”

But as he stood there, gripping my hands, staring down at

me, the answer dawned on me. “I’m the risk,” I said, my voice

soft. “That’s why you wanted me to train here. You want me to

fight Iker.”

“I don’t know what I want anymore,” Damian said, despera-

tion lurking in his eyes.

“You can’t expect her to fight him — you just said he’s unbeat-

able,” Rylan protested. “She’ll be killed!” He stood a little bit away from us, staring at Damian’s hands on mine, refusing to meet my

gaze, his cheeks f lushed.

“You once asked me if I thought it was worth losing one life in

order to save everyone else’s. Were you talking about
my
life?” I looked up at Damian, my heart thudding.

Before he could answer, General Tinso cut in again. “Alexa,

you can do this. The plan has been put in action, and we only

have two weeks before we must leave and begin our march on

Tubatse and the palace. But you got past my son’s defenses after

only one day of training. I believe you have the ability to do this —

I believe you can kill Iker.”

“
If
I can do it — if I kill Iker . . .” I trailed off.

“Then I will kill my father,” Damian said tonelessly.

The day my parents were killed, I’d sworn to do something to

help stop this war — to keep our entire nation from being destroyed

by it. If I’d known then what I knew now, would I have still made

that vow to myself?

I stared up at Damian for a moment longer, my mind spin-

ning mercilessly.

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“Don’t do this, Alexa. Don’t agree to this,” Rylan pleaded, his

expression troubled.

Finally, I looked at General Tinso.

“What do I need to do?”

General Tinso gave me a grim smile. “I knew you had it in

you. Let’s get started.”

243

 thirty-four 

T
he next week was a blur of constant training with Eljin.

Every morning, he came at the first light of dawn and led

us to the same room where we fought for hours on end. Damian

and Rylan watched part of the time and sparred with each other

the rest.

Lisbet even came and watched a couple of times. She looked

like a different woman here. The dark circles were gone from under

her eyes, and her skin almost glowed. She healed some of the more

painful bruises I’d sustained over the last few days of fighting.

When I asked about Tanoori, she assured me she was healing.

Because the infection had taken such a strong hold on her body, it

was taking longer, but there was another healer in General Tinso’s

castle who was helping and Lisbet hoped Tanoori would be com-

pletely recovered soon. It was a small comfort that we hadn’t

carried her for days for nothing after all.

Every night after the sun went down, I dragged my body back

to the room where we slept and collapsed onto my cot, falling

asleep almost immediately. My whole life, I’d trained ruthlessly,

pushing myself to be the best. But I’d never had to work as hard as

I did fighting Eljin and his sorcery. I was more certain than ever

that General Tinso was wrong about Papa — and about me. I

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hadn’t been able to get past Eljin’s shield again once in the whole

week, and I was growing progressively more discouraged.

“I can’t do it!” I finally shouted at the end of a very long prac-

tice session, and threw my sword on the ground after Eljin had

def lected me for the hundredth time that day. “You aren’t even

attacking me with sorcery; you’re just
defending
yourself. The minute I go after Iker, he’s going to kill me, isn’t he? He won’t just throw up a shield and let me try again. I’m going to fail and then

Iker will kill all of you and this war will never end.”

I sat down on the f loor in the middle of the room and dropped

my head into my hands. I was so exhausted, I couldn’t hold

back my sobs.

“Alexa —”

I heard Damian say my name, but Rylan was there first. He

crouched down in front of me and took my chin in his hand, forc-

ing me to look up at him.

“You aren’t a quitter,” he said gruff ly.

“Then you obviously don’t understand what it means to say,
I

can’t do this
,” I pointed out.

He put both of his hands on my shoulders and stared into my

face, his expression earnest. “Alex, you
can
do this. I know you can. You did it before, and you can do it again.”

“No, I
can’t
.” I reached up and angrily wiped the tears from

my cheeks. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last week?

Playing a game?”

“No,” Rylan said gently. “But it hasn’t been the same, and you

know it. When you beat him last week, something was different

about you. You’ve always had a fire inside that’s driven you to be

the best fighter I’ve ever known. But the time you beat Eljin, it was 245

as if that fire had turned into an inferno. I’ve never seen you like

that. All you have to do is figure out what was different about that

day so you can repeat it.”

I wiped my nose, which had decided to embarrass me further

by running, and glared at him. “I don’t know what the difference

was. I was mad, but I’m mad right now, too, and I still can’t do it.”

I shrugged Rylan’s hands off me and stood back up. “I’m sorry,

Damian. I’m sorry that I’m not good enough.”

Damian just looked at me, his expression unreadable. Then he

turned to face Eljin, who had stood watching my humiliating tan-

trum with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. “I think we

should call it a night and let her get some extra rest,” Damian said.

“We only have one week left until we must leave to make our

rendezvous point, and as she’s pointed out, she has yet to be suc-

cessful again,” Eljin argued.

I f linched at the honesty of his words. Even though I’d said

the same about myself, it was different hearing it from some-

one else.

“All the more reason to let her rest and rebuild her strength.

Maybe we’re pushing her too hard.” Damian walked toward me

and brushed the sweaty hair back from my face, cupping my cheek

in his hand. I was too upset and tired to care that Rylan was watch-

ing. I looked up into Damian’s beautiful eyes and nearly started

crying again.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead

softly. “Let’s go back to our room so you can rest. I’ll have Eljin

get you something to eat and you can just forget about all of this

for the night. How does that sound?”

246

It sounded like a weak attempt to delay the inevitable. We

didn’t have time for me to need to rest, but in that moment,

I didn’t care. I was not picking up that sword again tonight. “All

right,” I said.

“I really don’t think —” Eljin began, but Damian cut him off.

“Kindly escort us to our room, and then find her something

good to eat,” he said in a tone that made it very clear he wasn’t

making a request. It was one of those moments when I was

reminded that he really was a prince — that, someday, if a miracle

happened and we succeeded, he would be king.

“I’d like to stay here,” Rylan said suddenly, not meeting my

gaze. “I’d like to train some more.”

“And if someone sees me taking those two back but not you?”

Eljin said, sounding very irritated.

“We’ve only seen two people in the last week,” Damian

pointed out.

I wished Rylan would look at me, but he continued to stare at

Eljin, waiting for an answer. I was sure he was upset about Damian

taking control, and probably for kissing my forehead, too, and it

made my stomach twist into a guilty knot. I hadn’t had a chance

to talk to Rylan since Damian had apologized to me. He proba-

bly thought I was being a fool, letting the prince have his way

with me.

“Fine,” Eljin finally said. “But after I bring the food, you have

to go back, too.”

“That’s fine,” Rylan agreed, and walked away to the wall where

a bunch of scythes was hanging.

I watched him for a moment, a dull ache in my chest, but then

Damian took my hand.

247

“Come on. Let’s go so you can rest.”

I followed him to the door, where he let go of my hand, so

that if anyone was there, they wouldn’t see. I glanced back at Rylan

one last time, but his back was still turned to us. And then Eljin

shut the door, sealing him inside, alone.

248

 thirty-five 

T
here was a fire burning in the small hearth when Damian

and I entered our room, sending light and shadows dancing

across the walls and our empty cots, chasing away the chill. Eljin

shut the door behind us with an audible huff of irritation.

I shuff led across the f loor and sat down heavily on my cot.

Damian took a seat across from me without a word.

“What, no sermon, no lecture? No words of inspiration?” I

asked, my voice sarcastic.

“No,” he said.

The firelight played across his face as he reached down into the

pocket of his pants and pulled out a trinket of some sort. It looked

like the one I’d seen him holding in his room all those weeks ago.

He stared down at it, and I noticed a muscle in his jaw tighten.

“What is it?” I finally asked.

He glanced at me and held it up. It was small and oval shaped.

“It’s a locket.”

That wasn’t what I was expecting.

Using his thumbnail, Damian f licked it open and gazed down

at what was inside. Grief crossed his face, and he closed his eyes

brief ly. Then he stood and came to sit next to me. He handed me

the locket, and I looked down at a portrait of a beautiful woman

249

with f lawless, olive-toned skin; thick, dark hair; and vibrant, warm brown eyes. She had Damian’s lips — or rather, he had hers.

“This is your mother,” I said quietly.

“Yes.”

We were silent as I stared at her portrait. “She was beautiful,”

I said, handing it back to him.

Damian nodded and ran his finger across the image tenderly.

“It was an arranged marriage — to my father. My grandfather was

the king of Dansii. He’d always had his eye on Antion, particu-

larly our diamond and gold mines. When Hector and my uncle,

Armando, were old enough to lead the troops, my grandfather

sent them to war at the head of his massive army. Just one week

after they succeeded in conquering the Antion army, my grandfa-

ther died. Armando was crowned king of Dansii, and my father

took possession of Antion.”