Defining Moments (12 page)

I REALIZE WHILE I’M
in the store that I should have gotten Cord’s number from him because I am unsure of whether or not to buy the Arborio rice or if he has some. Figuring I can just use it at home if he already has it, I grab a big bag of it and chuck it into the cart. Saffron threads are not a usual kitchen staple, so I throw those in my cart too. As I make my way over to the seafood counter, I hear lots of giggling from the next aisle over and it makes me smile big. I swear the laughter and giggles of children is the most heartwarming sound in the world.

As I pass the aisle, I look down and stop in my tracks when I see the beautiful noise is coming from Sami’s girls. She looks flustered and tired, so unlike the put-together woman I met last night at Saint.

“Sami,” I hear myself call out before I even register I’m heading her way. She looks up with a tired smile and waves.

“Hey, Ellie! Imagine running into you when I look like hell and my children are all running around like heathens,” she chuckles, but I can hear the worry in her voice.

“Girl, I have three boys who were all born within three years. I understand the chaos that ensues,” I tell her honestly. “I went to the grocery store in my PJs more times than I’d like to admit to; in the middle of the day, with no makeup on, and gummy bears stuck to my hair.”

I see her face soften as she realizes I’m not judging her. “Jesus, I needed to hear that,” she chokes out.

“Hey, are you all right?” I ask with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Some days are just very overwhelming, and today just happens to be one of those days.”

I nod in understanding, bending down to snag up one of the little girls who is trying to run past me. Sami smiles and shakes her head before taking her from my arms and depositing her in the front part of the cart next to the baby.

“Girls, I want to introduce you to a friend of Uncle Cord’s,” Sami says loudly, and all the girls stop in their tracks.

I smile brightly at their beautiful faces, and the two who are obviously the twins come over to me.

“Hi! I’m Anna, and that’s Bella,” the fairer of the two tells me, while pointing at her sister.

“It’s nice to meet you, ladies. My name is Ellie,” I reply.

They both giggle, before Anna says, “You’re really pretty. Are you Uncle Cord’s girlfriend?”

I’m kind of shocked at the question and look up at Sami to see her reaction. She just smiles and shakes her head. Before I can answer Anna’s question, Sami replies, “No, Anna. Uncle Cord and Ms. Ellie are just good friends,” while smiling at me.

I smile at the girls and throw Sami a ‘thank you’ look.

“Well, ladies, it was nice meeting all of you, but I have to get going,” I tell them.

They all say their goodbyes as the baby blows spit bubbles and giggles loudly. I get almost to the end of the aisle before I hear Sami’s voice call my name.

I turn back toward her as she rushes over to me, sans cart.

“Hey, I’d really like to get together for lunch sometime, if you’re up for it,” she rushes out.

I’m shocked at her request, but I really like Sami, and even though I’m not sure what is going to eventually become of my friendship with Cord, I think Sami and I could be great friends. She is obviously in need of some “adult time,” that’s for sure.

“I’d love that,” I reply with a huge smile. “Let me give you my number.”

I tell her my number and watch her program it into her phone.

“I’ll text you soon. I could
really
use some big girl time,” she tells me while walking backward toward the cart full of children.

I laugh and shake my head knowingly. I remember having three little ones. I can’t even fathom her brain right now with five.

“Please do,” I call out as they round the corner to the next aisle.

I finish up the rest of my shopping and am about to head home when my phone chimes.

Justin: Have you heard from Destry today? He hasn’t responded to any of my text messages.

Me: I called him this morning. He was fine. Tired, but fine.

Justin: If you hear from him, will you tell him to call me please?

Me: Sure.

Justin: Thanks.

I start to put my phone back in my purse, but it chimes again.

Justin: You didn’t respond to my text last night.

Me: And I’m not going to.

I put my phone in my purse and do not pull it back out even when it chimes again. I’m done with that conversation.

ONCE I’M BACK AT
my apartment, I put the seafood in the fridge and put everything else I’m taking to Cord’s in a couple bags so I don’t have to search for it later.

I still have a few hours before dinner, so I start unpacking my office/spare bedroom. Since Claire may very well be staying the night tomorrow, I want her to be comfortable. I hang the pretty pictures I found a few weeks ago at an antique shop and step back to admire them. The pictures are of huge old water pitchers filled with different wildflowers. Justin never used to let me hang girly stuff in our house. He said it didn’t make sense to hang a bunch of “flowery, girly shit” since almost everybody in the house was male. I’ve always loved wildflowers with their different colors, petal shapes, and smells. Decorating my house with wildflower pictures is going to be a truly cathartic experience.

It still amazes me every single day, now that I’ve had the opportunity to step back and actually reflect on our relationship, how truly one-sided it always was. I guess when you know no different, what you’re experiencing seems like it’s just the way things are. That the way our relationship was and the way he treated me was normal for a married couple. Some of the things he said to me were not okay, and it floors me that I didn’t see it then.

Just as I finish making the bed, my phone rings from the living room.

When I see it’s an unknown number, I decline the call and start to head into the bathroom to shower. I need to be at Cord’s in a little over an hour, so I should start getting ready.

The phone rings again before I even make it out of the living room. When I see it’s the same number, I figure I might as well answer it in case it’s important since they took the time to call back.

“Hello,” I answer.

“Ellie?” A sweet voice asks and I immediately know it’s Sami.

“Hey girl,” I respond. “How are you?”

“I’m good. I just wanted to talk to you real quick before you go to Cord’s for dinner.”

The tone of her voice worries me a little bit.

“Ooookay,” I draw out. “What’s up?”

“I spoke to Cord this morning and he said you were coming over to make him dinner tonight as sort of an interview to work at Saint.”

I don’t respond, because she’s not asking me a question.

She continues. “I just wanted to kind of see what your thoughts are on this dinner.”

“Well, my thoughts are I’m going over to Cord’s to make him seafood paella, hope he loves it, and hires me on the spot.”

She doesn’t respond for a second and I’m wondering where this is going.

“Look, Ellie, I really like you. You seem really genuine and I appreciate that. But Cord isn’t just my brother-in-law, he’s my best friend. I know you haven’t known Cord long enough for him to have shared our story with you, but please know he has been through a lot. Cord doesn’t date. Like ever. So for him to be interested in you is huge for him. He hasn’t dated in a really long time.”

I almost tell her I know about his wife, but stop myself. I need to know the real story, not the one that’s been spread through a college full of kids for the past twenty years. It makes my stomach flutter that both his sister and now his best friend have basically told me he is interested in me as more than a friend, and although I know I’m not ready for that, Cord seems to be okay with us becoming just friends.

“We aren’t dating, Sami. We just met a few days ago. I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Angelica at Saint last night. I am newly divorced after twenty-one years of marriage. I’m not going to hurt Cord because I will be completely honest with him about not being ready to date. I enjoy talking to him, and I enjoy his company, but friendship is all I can offer him right now.”

“Thank you for being honest,” Sami replies, sounding relieved.

“I have to go now. I’ve got to finish getting ready for my dinner interview,” I tell her with a smile. I really am looking forward to this.

She laughs. “All right, girl, I’m sorry to throw this heaviness on you. I just worry about him. He may have the world’s biggest heart and I don’t know if he can survive having it broken again.”

We chat for a minute longer about getting together next week for lunch some time and then say our goodbyes.

By the time I put my hair up in a bun, brush on a little makeup, throw on my favorite holey jeans, AC/DC t-shirt, and flip-flops, it’s time for me to head over. Claire would probably have my ass for dressing this way for dinner with a hot guy, but I know this is nothing more than a job interview based on my culinary skills. Cord’s not going to care what my wardrobe is tonight. I’m cooking.

I grab my favorite apron, the bags of ingredients on the counter, and the seafood from the refrigerator and head out the door.

I kick Cord’s door due to my hands being full, and the moment he swings the door open, I almost drop everything in my arms. He grabs the bags from me, laughing loudly.

“You should’ve told me you needed help bringing all this stuff over,” he points out.

“I thought I had it under control,” I defend, smiling when he rolls his eyes and helps me bring the bags into his apartment.

As he makes his way into the kitchen, I look around his apartment, which is really bare. He has one small loveseat, a TV on a small stand, and a couple of stools at the bar that separates the living room from the kitchen.

No pictures on the walls, no bookshelves, no memories.

The kitchen on the other hand, is decorated to the full extent that you can decorate a small apartment kitchen. Beautiful dishes are stacked in the open cabinets. Pots hang from a rack above the open stovetop. Canisters of dried pastas and different varieties of rice are on the countertops.

“Make yourself at home,” Cord says from behind the open refrigerator door, before peeking his head out. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Yes, please.”

“Red or white?”

“Red sounds good.” I smile at him as he nods and removes the bottle of red from the wine rack beside the fridge.

I watch as he pulls a large beautiful wine glass from inside a cabinet, filling it halfway, and handing it to me.

When his eyes meet mine, my stomach flutters. Friends. We are friends.

“So tell me, Ellie, what are you going to dazzle me with tonight? I saw seafood, so that’s a plus already,” he smiles brightly.

“Seafood paella,” I tell him, my stomach already growling. Paella is one of my favorite things in the world to make and eat.

“Oh wow. I haven’t had paella since I was in Spain a long time ago,” he replies, getting that faraway look in his eyes again.

“Well, get ready to be wowed because this, my friend, will knock your socks off.” I watch his face light up and, once again, think of how absolutely beautiful this man is.

Cord shows me where everything is in the kitchen, asks me if I have any questions, and then takes a seat at the bar and watches me as I start to prepare the meal.

I toast the saffron threads quickly, and then break them up with the back of the spoon to release their flavor. I add the clam juice, bring it to a boil, and then remove it from the heat to let the two flavors meld together. While dicing the onion, I look up and see Cord is paying very close attention to my knife skills and that makes me smile. He’s paying attention to my technique, which shows he is really interested in my skills. I peel and chop the garlic, and then chop up a couple of small tomatoes.

The rest of the paella prep goes quickly, and when everything is done, I set it aside and quickly make the green salad and avocado dressing. I smell the bread in the oven, so I pull that out and set it aside to cool while I plate everything else. I like the rustic feel of whole bread loaves where you can just pull off a chunk when you are ready to have it with your meal.