Defeat the Darkness (Hearts of Darkness) (16 page)

Chapter 20 Feeding

Guatemala the day after Shelby left

“I did my time as her puppet, Victor. She got her month out of me.” Kyle paced. Keeping the cat within him grew more difficult when he was angry. “But despite our agreement, I doubt she’ll let me go. I’m not strong enough to stand up to her. I understand why I can’t leave yet.”

“No, not now, but soon.”

“When I leave, will she always be able to track me down?”

“If she is in close proximity? Yes.”

“How long before I reach my full potential?”

Victor laughed. “We have no idea what your full potential might be. Never mind. You may not have to worry about any of this. Amyra went to Mexico yesterday in search of an amulet to supplement the power she tapped from you. Teotihuacan is said to predate the Egyptian pyramids.” Victor frowned and tapped his desk.

“She’s up to something.”

“Always.”

“Do you know how long she’ll be gone?”

“Long enough for us to help you.”

There was so much to learn, Kyle wasn’t sure where to start. “I’m still totally ignorant when it comes to my jaguar abilities.”

“Julian’s father will teach you all you need to know about being a jaguar. You’ve mastered the shift with your added strength. Today, you must go to them in the jungle and finish your training. You look too good—too healthy.” Salazar raised a brow.

Kyle understood the concern. If Amyra returned and he looked healthy, she’d know he’d been drinking human blood from the vein. “We have good reason to be worried. If she reads any of these humans’ thoughts, she’ll know I’ve been drinking more than bagged blood.”

“True.” Salazar snorted. “You’re filling out.”

“Filling out is an understatement? All my clothes are tearing at the seams, yet there are still times when I feel weak.”

“I know all this is difficult to understand, but when you are newly transformed—and remember you have undergone two such changes—you need more sustenance than you will once you adjust. You need more blood to fill out your muscles now that your skin no longer hangs off your frame.”

“Then, I’m going to need some clothes. I switched out my scrubs for a larger size but I’ll need more than scrubs in the jungle.”

“I will arrange for that. When Amyra returns from her little expedition, she will begin recruiting more rogues, and I fear she will figure out what
you
and I have been up to. You must be gone by then.”

“I thought I was going to stop her, here—”

“Not now. She will know what
we
were up to.” He emphasized. “All of us. The villagers will be in danger.”

They’d all be in danger when she discovered they’d been feeding him.

“It is best if you leave.”

Hell, Victor was right.

“Won’t she suspect your part in my escape?”

“Once you are gone, there will be no evidence. You must reach my friend in New Orleans before her return.”

“You know I can’t go back to New Orleans. What would I do? I’ll need to stay out of the mainstream—”

“Kyle, I told you I would contact my friend. He will meet you at the airport and find a safe place for you. My friends will train you in the ways of the vampire while you are in seclusion. The
Parrish where he lives is remote, out past the bayous, close to the swamp. Perfect for the time being. Then, when you are ready to resume your career, he will smooth the way for you.”

“Sounds too good to be possible.” Kyle smacked his head. How had he forgotten about his greatest fear? “What about the demon blood?”

“You worry too much.” Victor smiled. “I will tell Niccolai of your concern. He knows what to do. In the thousands of years he has survived, he has dealt with far worse.”

“Thousands of years?” And what could be worse? The endlessness wasn’t something Kyle was looking forward to. The span of years he would face lonely regret stretched out ahead of him like the night sky, and all he could think about was revenge.

Immortal revenge.

One positive thing about those thousands of years of existence was that it would give him plenty of time to get even with the bitch who ruined his life.

Revenge...the ultimate pleasure.

Chapter 21 Rebound

New Orleans, the evening after Shelby returned

Shelby found her shoes polished and by her bag. As she unpacked looking for clean underwear, shorts, and a t-shirt, she realized the bites that hived up earlier, felt a little better after the shower and the lotion.

In all honesty, having Max’s hands on her made her feel better. And damn if that didn’t confuse her. Could she ignore being aroused by the way his hands stroked her? Her body remembered his touch. He smelled familiar and comforting. She’d always equated his scent, a scent she loved, with security. There was no denying he knew just how she liked to be touched. And where.

She hadn’t missed the surprised desire in his eyes when she’d stepped out of the shower and caught him there. For a moment, she tried to cover herself, then a need she didn’t understand overwhelmed her.

Those broad shoulders of his flexed beneath his shirt when she touched him and the muscles in his jaw clenched. He felt the pull, too. Although he’d tried to hide it, he’d been hard when she bandaged his finger and harder still when he tried covering it up with his shirt in the bedroom.

Removing her towel had been a deliberate act. A test. A woman scorned and humiliated needed to feel sexy, desirable, wanted.

Shelby shook off the disturbing thoughts and dressed. This wasn’t fair to him. She was being selfish. If he actually still wanted her, she should leave, not encourage him—not if she cared about him.

Or maybe it meant nothing. Maybe he was just being a typical guy. A little naked flesh and he was ready. Maybe she should try sex with no strings herself sometime.

The smell of steak broiling in the kitchen worked its way down the hall and her stomach growled. An hour ago, she didn’t think she’d ever want to eat again. Here she was, less than twenty-four hours after experiencing the worst moments in her life, thinking about screwing her old boyfriend and ready to chow down. Either something was seriously wrong with her, or she had a great survival instinct.

Despite those instincts, her throat closed up every time she thought about Kyle. So far, Max avoided mentioning his name, but he’d checked out her hand and noticed the ring missing. Eventually, he’d expect some sort of explanation for her return and the mental state she was in when he picked her up.

God, she dread recounting the story. She rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks. Max was fixing dinner and looked “catch-a-breath” gorgeous in his apron with no shirt on. The bar-b-que apron had a picture of a bull on it with the words “Kiss the Cook.”

She would have a difficult time restraining herself but she’d try anyway.

“Nice look.” She furrowed her brow. “Where’s the shirt?”

“Laundry. Had blood and…” he scrunched up his nose and gave her a half grin, “snot all over it.”

“Eeww, Max, gross.” She made a face at him and then thought about what he’d said. “Oh! Mine! I’m so sorry.” Her hands flew to her face.

“No problem, I’ve had worse. There was your senior prom and puke on my shoes, if I remember—”

“Yes, but
that
was your fault. You got me drunk.”

“Me? You lied. You said you’d done shots before.” He chuckled and gave her the once over. “There. You look like yourself again.”

“I doubt that.”

“You know…
How long have we known each other? Twenty-five years?”

“Maybe twenty-six.”

Max put the spatula down and put his left arm around her waist then chucked her under the chin with his right knuckle. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen you so distraught. I didn’t like it. I don’t ever want to see you like that again, sweetheart.”

Her eyes filled and a lump formed in her throat.
Shit no!
She shook her head. “If that’s so, stop being so nice to me or the water works may start up, again.” She turned aside moving out of his arms. “Give me something to do.”

“Go toss the salad while I finish up here. You know where the spices are. The bowl is in the cabinet over your head.”

She picked up her glass of wine and took a long sip before she did as he suggested. “This is good. Kendall Jackson?”

“Yup. ’03. My favorite.”

“Mine, too,” she said.

They turned toward each other and made eye contact at the same time. Shelby considered how t
hey complimented each other in so many ways. He was hunky, handsome, and hot for her, and when he turned off the stove, something inside her stirred.

The golden hair on his forearms glistened under the kitchen lights. She stopped tossing to admire his muscular ass when he moved to the oven. His capable hands held the tongs as he turned over the steaks, and she recalled how those same hands felt when they touched her. His shoulders bunched and flexed in the familiar way she remembered and she suddenly realized he was what she needed right now.

...
I want him. I want to forget everything else.

She carried the salad to the table and stood staring at him as he brought the steaks.

“Go ahead. Sit down and eat before the steak gets cold. I’ll be right there.”

Shelby did as he suggested and began eating. “This is delicious.” The steak was delicious or she was hungrier than she thought.

“When you’re ready, if you want, you can tell me your side of the story.” Max brought the wine to the table and refilled her glass before he sat down. “Kyle already told me his.”

“He what?” Shelby stopped eating and lost her train of thought. It was probably a good thing anyway. She didn’t need to be thinking about Max sexually.

“He called me after you left to confirm I got your messages. Wanted to make sure you were safe.”

Anger replaced her self-pity. “Asshole.” She slammed down her knife.

“That’s better.”

Shelby unclenched her fists and released the knife, smoothing her fingers over the smooth dark wood of the table. “Safer, anyway.” She laughed and shook her head at nothing.

Max never took his eyes from her. He had a way of appreciating her worst traits.

“So what did he tell you?” She took a bite of bread and picked at her salad while Max skimmed over Kyle’s story.

“Something about sleeping with some woman, and you being gone in the morning.”

She stared at her plate.
Pick up the fork. Bring it to your mouth. Chew. Swallow. Repeat.
Shelby shuddered.

“Bad as all that?” he asked and touched her cheek. “Or worse?

“Spoken aloud, the words sound terrible.”

“The betrayal is terrible. The way you looked when I reached you made me want to beat the hell out of him and I’m not usually known for my violent streak. Want to tell me?”

The red wine covered the bottom of her glass and her plate was almost empty. She’d been able to eat but she wasn’t ready to talk.

“No.” She felt his fingers caressing her wrist and knew. “What I want...” She stared into space and said nothing.

“Shelby? What do you want?”

“It’s not fair to ask you this, Max.”

“Why don’t you let me decide what’s fair?” He stabbed at his salad but held-on to her hand.

“I need you to make love to me. Then maybe I’ll be able to talk.”

Max’s mouth slammed shut. His fork stopped in midair and he didn’t move.

Yes, he looks as stunned as I feel for asking.

“It is unfair of me, isn’t it? If you don’t want me, I’ll understand. It’s just...you know we never had a problem in that department. You’ve always appealed to me. I’ve never lost my desire for you even though I loved…”

Kyle’s name would not take form on her tongue. She cleared her throat and left it unspoken as the moisture in her eyes blinded her.

Max was up and on his knees in front of her before she could blink. “Don’t,” he said and put a finger to her lips. “Don’t doubt that I want you.”

He pulled her out of the chair to stand and tilted her chin so she had to look at him when he spoke. “I’ll never stop wanting or loving you.”

“Don’t you care that I’m in love with someone else?”
Not past tense?
She hadn’t even thought in past tense. God help her.

He took her hands and placed them on his broad shoulders. “Not as long as I know you love me too, Shelby.”

Heat radiated off him as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. He wasn’t lying. He wanted her—his body did, but what about his heart?

He cupped her face in his hands and when he kissed her, it was gentle and comforting. At first, she kissed him back the same way. Then she reacted to her feelings. She took the kiss deeper and he followed her lead, finally taking a tiny nip at her lip.

“Max?”

He tilted his head to one side waiting for her to finish her question. She lowered her lashes, not daring to meet his gaze when she told him what she really wanted.

“What, Shelby? This is me. You can ask me anything.”

She blew out a breath. “I want you to take me hard. I want you to fuck my memories out of me so there is only you in my mind tonight.”

Max smacked her ass, curved his lips into the devilish grin she loved and hated at the same time. He couldn’t resist teasing her. “Any way you want it, sweetheart,” he said and purposely gave her the wink he’d heard had the power to melt women’s hearts. He’d used it for years from Atlanta to New Orleans, and even Shelby wasn’t immune. For tonight he’d guarantee she’d only be able to focus on him making love to her.

She still looked unsure.

“From past experience, you know I can handle rough, and I bet you’ve heard through the hospital grapevine I’ve gotten even better over the years. Like fine aged whiskey.”

A mix of emotions washed over her face. Her eyes glinted in challenge then she burst out with a guffaw. “Fine aged whiskey? That line gets you laid?”

“It has.” The laugh was the reaction he was looking for. Best friends knew how to call each other out. They still had it.

“Okay, Shelby, enough laughing. No need to be mean.”

This would help. She was going to grieve for a long time over the bad way she and Kyle ended. If all he could be for now was rebound sex, he’d provide her with an emergency treatment. Perhaps it would stem her pain, even if it was merely a temporary solution. He’d focus on the cure later.

He sat down and pulled her into his lap. When he took her hands in his, he said, “Seriously, darlin’, you’ll be okay. Not many women are forced to watch their fiancées fuck another woman. Right now, what you need to know is that you’re desirable and you can still respond. I can handle that for you.”

“Thanks for the psychobabble, Dr. Kinsey. Let’s leave it at ‘I’m glad you’re willing to be that man for me,’ Max, because I wouldn’t trust this to anyone else.”

He’d been the first man in her bed and messed that up. The timing had been wrong. Over the
years, he’d made mistakes but so had she. Maybe now was the right time.

“Good, because it will never be any other man,” he ground out the words, surprised at his sudden jealous reaction, certain he felt as possessive as he sounded.

There’d been a jealous glint in her expression he’d noticed when he was with other women. Maybe time apart was what they’d needed, and other people. Time to grow and prove that what was between them was real and good, not just easy or convenient or comfortable.

It was all those things as well.

He leaned in to kiss her, and she kissed him back. He tongue fucked her mouth until they were both breathless. The results hopefully left her with no doubt about how much he wanted her.

The way he dominated a partner or gave up control to submission was almost intuitive on his part. Because he had no inhibitions or self-doubt, he was comfortable in either role. She wanted to be dominated tonight and he wanted to make sweet love to her.

A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach swept through him. Was this sudden nervous reaction over sex? Or because it was the most important role of his life?

The hell with the role.
He’d play himself, love her the way he’d wanted to these last few years, and risk it all.

“Look at me. Open your eyes,” he demanded. Shelby would not compare him with Kyle’s memory. Max wouldn’t allow it. She’d know exactly who was making love to her. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust
, and sensation would remind her of their connection and their history together.

Now that she asked, he planned to be the one in her bed in the future. No way was anyone pushing him out this time. As much as he hated seeing Shelby hurt, Kyle’s mistake gave him the opportunity he hadn’t even thought about in years.

“Focus on me. Feel what I’m doing to you,” he said.

She opened her eyes and stared into his, then he kissed her along her jaw up to her earlobe. He inhaled her flowery scent and whispered, his throat raw with desire, “Put everything out of your head except how your body feels.”

“Max, I don’t know what I’m feeling.”