Deeper We Fall (36 page)

“I could feel it.”

Weirdly, I knew what he meant.

“I guess I should have been paying attention.”

He smiled slowly. “You know what they say. The easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and right now I’d like to be under you, L.” He tossed me down on the bed, and for a little while neither of us did any thinking.

I didn’t get a chance to actually talk to Katie until the next afternoon after I got back from class. Zan decided to have a banjo session with Stryker, which I saw as a thinly-veiled attempt to get me to talk to her. I just didn’t let him know that I knew.

“I’m sorry,” she said the second I walked in. “I shouldn’t have brought him here. It just sort of…happened. I have no idea what I was thinking. I mean, he’s…”

The expression on her face made me burst out laughing.

“It’s okay, Katie. I understand what you mean about the sex ‘just happening’. It’s ‘happened’ to me quite a few times.” I shivered with the memories of those times.

Focus
.

She took a breath. “It was totally weird. He came back to get his cape and we just started talking. I’m not attracted to him, but the next thing I knew we were naked. I’ve been freaking out ever since, and I haven’t had anyone to talk to about it with.”

“You can talk to me about it,” I said, sitting on her bed.

“I think this whole Zack thing is screwing with my head. Or else someone has swapped my common sense for lust.”

“Was it good?”

The way she bit her lip told me it was.

“I’ve never…” she trailed off and shook her head, laughing softly. “It’s never been like that before. But I can’t do that again. You were right. I have to clear my head and not be with anyone for a while.”

“He’s a good guy, Katie.”

“I don’t even
know
him. That’s the crazy part.” She fell backward onto her pillows. “It doesn’t make any sense. Him and me.”

“Or maybe it makes so much sense that you can’t even see it.”

She started laughing. “That doesn’t make any sense, Lot.”

“Or maybe it makes so much sense that—”

She hit me with a pillow.

“So are you still ignoring Zack?” I said once the pillow attack was over.

“Yes. Somehow. He won’t stop leaving me messages, and sending me stuff.” She gestured under her bed, and I found a stack of boxes and bags.

“I’d really like to burn it, but some of the stuff is really nice. So I’ll hold onto it until enough time has passed, and then I’ll keep it and forget that it came from him.”

“You sure that’s going to work?” I said, pulling out a velvet box that contained a charm bracelet.

“I’m going to make it work.” I put the box back and shoved it away again. “I am.”

I wanted to tell her good luck with that, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t going to rain on her parade.

***

“So I heard that your roommate hooked up with my brother,” Trish said Thursday night at work. I’d increased my hours so I could save up for a car since I was beyond tired of stealing Will’s truck, and he was tired of lending it to me.

“Yeeaaahhh, about that.”

“I’m reserving judgment,” she said, tossing a bolt of fabric she’d just cut into the basket of bolts to be put back on the shelves.

“Seriously?” I gave her a look.

“No, I am completely not okay with this. I’m just keeping my mouth shut about it. Honestly, Lot, I don’t know what to think. I’m sort of trying to do the math on that one. She’s the complete opposite of every other girl he’s ever been interested in. It just doesn’t make sense.”

That seemed to be the prevailing sentiment when we all talked about it behind Katie and Stryker’s backs.

“I’m still going with alien abduction,” Will said at dinner. Katie was ‘studying’ which no one believed.

“I think it could work,” Zan said. He’d been all for the relationship from the beginning.

“I think so too,” I said, smiling and reaching for his hand under the table.

“Me too,” Audrey said, giving Will a look. “Sometimes things that don’t make sense end up making the most sense.”

“Right?” I said. “That was exactly what I told Katie.”

“I think you’re all delusional,” Will said. After a moment of silence, he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. It could happen. You don’t have to all gang up on me.”

“We’re not ganging up on you,” I said. “Okay, fine. We’re ganging up on you. Join the, um, Stratie team.”

“Stratie? Really?” Will said.

“It’s cute, L,” Zan said, giving my fingers a squeeze.

“Insufferable you are,” Will mumbled.

“Stop being a wet blanket, Will,” Audrey said, bumping him with her shoulder. “That look doesn’t work for you.”

He gaped at her for a moment and then mumbled something else no one could make out.

“All aboard the Stratie train,” he said, as if it caused him physical pain.

We all made loud train noises until everyone in the dining commons glared at us to stop.

“You talked to your brother lately?” Will said after we’d all had a good laugh about it.

“He’s not my biggest fan either. I’m keeping my eye on him though. He’s getting desperate, and that’s not good. He hasn’t gotten drunk yet, but that will come. I know his patterns.” His fingers circled the back of my hand, drawing random letters.

“You should get him kicked out of school if he does get drunk. Problem solved,” Will said.

“It’s not that easy,” Zan said, and he did this thing where his face got all tight. I hated that face. It made me sad.

“Let’s not talk about it,” Audrey said, getting up and going to empty her tray, effectively closing the subject. I gave her a little grateful smile that she returned.

“Are you worried he’s going to snap?” I said to Zan as we walked back to the dorm.

“I’m more worried he’s going to get drunk and do himself some damage than anything else,” Zan said. “Hey, you don’t need to worry about him. I don’t like seeing that on your pretty face anymore.” He kissed my forehead where I knew it was puckering.

“You make me so happy,” I said, taking both his hands.

“You make me believe in love.” He kissed the backs of my hands.

“Well, that’s all that I can ask for.”

Zan

Charlotte had homework, and doing it together was far too distracting, so she went to her room to study alone. When I got to my door, there was someone in front of it.

“What can I help you with, Zack?” Being so happy with Charlotte had given me a short fuse when it came to Zack. I was so fucking done with him.

“You can tell me where my girl is. I need to talk to her, and I know you hang out with her.” He turned around and even I had to admit he looked like shit. He must not have slept in days, and judging by his smell and his clothes, he’d been living at the gym.

“I’m not doing this anymore, Zack. I told you. We’re done. I’m done making excuses for you, and having your back and feeling like I owe you anything. I’ve finally stopped blaming you for landing me in Carter and for everything that happened to Lexie, but that’s the best I can do.”

He glared at me and took a step forward. “What the fuck are you talking about? I think you’ve been reading too much of that crap poetry and hanging out with Hottie.”

I took another step toward him. I’d always backed down from fighting with him before. Not anymore.

“Don’t you
dare
talk to me about her. You have no right to talk about her, now or ever.”

Zack smiled.

“About time you grew a pair and tapped that.”

I dived at him and we slammed up against the door.

“You will never disrespect her again. Got it? You may be my brother, but there’s nothing I can do about that anymore. I want you out of my life.”

He just laughed, and pushed me back. Like it or not, he was stronger than me.

“See you later, bro.” He strode down the hallway, and I had to go for a very long run so I didn’t break every single thing in my room.

***

I didn’t tell Charlotte about my little encounter with Zack. I wasn’t sure why, but it didn’t seem like something I should share with her. I hated to bring dark clouds to our bright moments.

There wasn’t room in my life anymore for Zack. He just didn’t fit. So I cut him out of it entirely. Mom would call and ask about him and I would tell her to call him. I stopped checking in on him, or going to see him, or messaging him. It wasn’t like he’d ever been a good brother in the first place.

I finally learned to drive, and Charlotte was pushing me to get my license when I turned eighteen in March. Stryker had also found a potential car for me, even though he said it was just a project car for no specific purpose. I knew.

Everything was bright and beautiful and so happy I felt like I was going to burst.

Of course, it couldn’t last.

“Was that a yawn?” Charlotte said on Friday night in mid-November. “Do not tell me I saw a yawn.”

“It wasn’t a yawn,” I lied before I yawned again. We were having a Star Wars marathon, and we were only on Episode Three.

“It better not be. Here, have some more tea.” She’d brewed blacker-than-tar tea to keep us awake, as well as brought out the snack machine in the basement.

I took the tea gratefully as she resettled herself on my chest.

“Comfortable, you are,” she said.

“Sexy, you are.” I tipped her face up and tried to kiss her, but she pulled away and put her finger on my lips.

“Oh no, we are getting through these movies without any of that. Now focus.” She snuggled back into my chest, but she sat up a second later, a worried look on her face.

“What is it?” I said. She put her hand up for silence.

“I don’t know. My twindar is going off.”

I rolled over. “Is it really that accurate?”

She shrugged, and went to the door.

Two seconds later, someone knocked on it. Charlotte opened the door to find Will. Guess it was that accurate.

“What is it?” she said.

He swallowed before he said, “It’s Katie,” he said, and ran for the stairs. Charlotte went after him, and I followed.

“What happened?” Charlotte asked as we moved as fast as we could up the stairs.

“Zack happened.”

Chapter Thirty-eight

Lottie

I was not prepared for what I would open my door to. I wasn’t sure if I could ever have prepared to see my roommate, the girl obsessed with pink, covered in bruises, with blood running out of her nose.

Audrey was sponging another bloody spot on her head.

No one seemed to know what to say.

“Oh my God. Katie, what happened?” I crouched in front of her and took her hands. She blinked at me from eyes that were swelling, black and blue.

She saw my face and started to cry. I put my arms around her, and held her trembling body. Zan put his hand on my shoulder and Audrey rubbed Katie’s back.

“Will, I think you need to call 9-1-1,” I said, surprised no one had mentioned it.

“No!” Katie said, clutching my hands. “I’m fine.”

Oh, that was
it
. I’d stood by too long and let things happen. I was officially over it.

“Will, call 9-1-1.” I didn’t need to turn around to know that he was nodding. Our twindar was strong. “You are going to the hospital if I have to drag you there myself, Katherine Ann.”

“I don’t want to go,” she sobbed. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

“I’m so sorry, Katie. I’m here for you. No matter what. Got it?” She nodded against my shoulder and I let go of her, handing the hugging duties off to Audrey, who supported the broken and crying Katie. I grabbed Zan and Will and pulled them into the hallway.

“Spill,” I said to Will as soon as the door was closed.

He leaned against the wall, as if he was exhausted. “I was coming back from work and I found her sitting in the parking lot. He’d just dumped her there. I called Aud and we got her to her room, but only because we agreed not to call 9-1-1.”

“No sign of Zack?”

Will shook his head.

“No, he was long gone.”

“Fuck,” Zan said, ripping his hands through his hair. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

I put my hand on his shoulder and he threw it off.

“Hey! Look at me.” I grabbed his face and pulled it down to my eye level. “This is not your fault, so you just hop right off that blame wagon you’re about to get on. This is not your fault, understand?”

He opened his mouth, but I shut him up with a kiss. Hey, it had worked on me.

“This isn’t really the time to be making out, Lot.” Will snapped behind me.

“Understand?” I said when my lips parted from Zan’s.

He nodded reluctantly. At least I had that under control.

I focused back on Will, who gave me a weird look. “I think the best thing we can do for now is wait for the ambulance to show up. Audrey can go with her and we can follow. Has anyone called Stryker?”

“Why?” Will said.

“I’ll call him,” Zan said, going down the hall and pulling out his phone.

“Why are you calling him?”

I put my hands on Will’s shoulders. “Because she needs him right now. I know you don’t get it, but Zan and I do.” I’d seen them together, and I knew that this was the right thing to do.

“He’s on his way,” Zan said a moment later when he came back.

I took a deep breath.

“Okay, so now we wait.”

***

Ambulances are always slowest when you’re the one waiting for one.

Will waited in the lobby to tell the paramedics where to go as Audrey and I tried to talk to Katie. She was still refusing to go to the hospital. Zan was out in the hallway doing something else. I didn’t need to know what it was. I trusted him.

As soon as the paramedics arrived, it was chaos. Katie was refusing to go, but they weren’t taking no for an answer. Audrey took over telling them what had happened, and they got her on a stretcher. Of course everyone else in the hallway heard the commotion and came out to stare. I grabbed a blanket to cover Katie with so they couldn’t see too much, but the damage was done.