Deep Surrendering (10 page)
Authors: Chelsea M. Cameron
Fin backed away from me like I’d just developed a highly contagious disease. “I can’t do this with you. Not now, not ever. Goodbye, Marisol. I’m so, so sorry.”
And before I could throw my clothes on, he was slamming my door.
And now a bonus scene from
Fin’s point of view . . .
She was absolutely lovely. Lovely in a way that she was completely unaware of which only made it worse. Add that to the fact she seemed completely captivated by me, and it was all I could do not to take her hand and drag her out of the smoky bar.
But I couldn’t do what I wanted with this girl. She was Rory’s friend, and she was innocent. No, she wasn’t a virgin (that I knew of), but she definitely hadn’t experienced the kind of sex that I would want to have with her. It would change her. It had changed me.
Listening to her voice bubble out of her sweet mouth and see her eyes flash when she talked about her graduate studies made me wish I was passionate about something. Well, something other than fucking and obsessively collecting books wherever I went.
“I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking your ear off,” she said, fiddling with one of her earrings. It was dark, but I could still see the blush that spread on her cheeks.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” She could talk to me about paint drying and I’d listen. She laughed nervously and licked her lips. I wanted to taste those lips. I wanted to do a lot of things with those lips. No, I couldn’t think of her that way. She wasn’t that kind of girl. Marisol was the kind of girl my mother would want me to marry. Sweet. Compliant. Would look the other way when I inevitably strayed from my wedding vows and sought an outlet for my “depravity.” Just like my father did with my mother.
I didn’t want to think about my father. Thinking about him made me have dark thoughts, and those dark thoughts led to dark desires. I was going to have to visit Sapphire before my trip was out. Of all the women I’d been with, she always seemed to know what I wanted and how to give it to me. Plus, she always seemed to know when I was coming and had a room at her club ready for me. She was worth every cent.
“So, what about you?” Marisol asked, invading my thoughts of Sapphire. She gripped her drink, twisting it back and forth.
“What about me, Marisol?” I couldn’t get enough of her name. I loved the way it tasted in my mouth, and the little smile she got whenever I used it.
“Well, all I know about you is what Rory has told me.”
“Oh, I’m sure everything was complimentary.” I shot Rory a look across the table, but she was too busy being enthralled by Mr. Lucas Blaine. He wasn’t the kind of fellow I’d pictured her with but the chemistry between the two of them was undeniable.
“She might have told me a few stories about the two of you getting into trouble when you were younger.” Sometimes I forgot that Rory had dirt on me from my distant past. Thankfully we hadn’t stayed in touch recently, and she was completely unaware of what I’d become.
I smiled at Marisol and shifted closer to her to gauge her reaction. She leaned closer to me and dropped her voice. “Well, from what she said, you got into a lot of trouble.” If only she knew.
“Sometimes I did. Sometimes I was able to talk my way out of it.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her lips.
“Oh, I bet you did.” She laughed softly.
We talked for a while longer about mundane things. Silly, unimportant things. Rory and Mr. Lucas Blaine made their exit, followed by Sloane, and then it was just me, Marisol, and Chloe, who was radiating protective energy at me. She didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t going to do anything with Marisol. I was going to be charming and take her on dates and pay for dinner and open doors and be a perfect gentleman. Plus, I could flirt mercilessly with her, which would be highly entertaining. Maybe even better than sex. Verbal intercourse was highly underrated, in my opinion.
I could do this. I’d date Marisol and flirt with her and that would be enough. It had to be enough. I couldn’t take this sweet girl by the hand and lead her down the path that I’d chosen to follow. A path littered with shadows and gnarled trees that were covered in thorns that would tear her apart slowly and reduce her to nothing.
I would not let that happen. If I took things too far, pushed too hard, then I would bow out. Leave. Push her away to keep her intact. I would not wreck this one.
“It’s getting late,” Marisol said, glancing at her phone. “I should probably call it a night.” She shifted, as if she knew that she should go but didn’t want to. I didn’t want her to go either. Well, I wanted her to go, but I wanted to be going with her.
“You’re right. But I would definitely like to see you again.” She smiled and grabbed my phone where it rested on the table, typed something in and then handed it back to me.
“There. Now you have my number. What’s yours?” I gave it to her and she put it in her phone.
“Well, goodnight, Fin Herald,” she said, getting up from the stool. “It was nice to meet you.”
“It was lovely to meet you, Marisol.”
And coming April 17
Deep Surrendering
(Episode 2)
A word about this novella:
Deep Surrendering is a series of novellas that tell the story of Fin and Marisol. Each novella is around 20,000 words and contains a complete story, but all are part of a larger story arc. They will be released on the third Thursday of each month. The number of episodes is still being decided, but it will be around 12-14, which is two complete novel’s worth of content. For news about this series, please check out chelseamcameron.com and sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter.
I thought that writing a short novel would be a piece of cake. Whatever that means. In fact, this has been one of the hardest projects I’ve worked on. I owe a debt of gratitude first to Jen, my editor, Kara, my copyeditor and Laura, my beta reader ninja, who weren’t afraid to tell me what parts worked and what didn’t. I couldn’t have done this without you. Thanks also go to my family and friends, my author community, my formatter, Ali, and to YOU for taking this new journey with me. I promise it will be worth it in the end, but we’re going to hit a bit of turbulence first. You ready for the ride?
The Noctalis Chronicles
The Whisper Trilogy
Fall and Rise
(Available from Harlequin)
Surrendering
Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA New York Times/USA Today Best Selling author from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Austen/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer. When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.
Find Chelsea online:
Twitter:
@chel_c_cam
Facebook:
Chelsea M. Cameron (Official Author Page)
Table of Contents
Table of Contents