Deep Down (Lockhart Brothers #1) (28 page)

I swallowed hard, hormones still raging through my body. Stepping back from him, I took a deep breath. “I went to Michigan to confront the man who raped me.”

Reed’s eyes widened. “Ivy, are you nuts? You went alone?”

I nodded, putting a hand up to quiet him. “Please don’t say anything. Let me get this out. It’s not what you think.”

He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”

A sick taste rose in my throat and I swallowed it. “The man I went to confront . . . who raped me . . . and fathered Noah, is my father.”

It wasn’t just my voice, but my entire body, that shook as I made the admission. Reed just stared at me, his expression frozen in shock.

“Your . . . father?” he finally said. “He’s the one who raped you?”

After a single nod, all the pent-up worry of the past few months came pouring out. “I didn’t want anyone to know. Not just for me, but for Noah, too. I don’t want people thinking he’s some kind of freak. I wanted to tell you, I did . . . and I should have, before we slept together, because—”

“No.” He rested his hands on my shoulders. “Ivy, no. You
never
had to tell me. I’m glad you did, though.”

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. “I was a virgin when it happened.”

“Holy shit.” His eyes widened. “One man. You told me there’d only been one and . . . God, I’m so sorry. And then there was no one after . . . until . . .”

“Until you.”

His face was pained as he ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling. “It means a lot to me that you trust me with this. But it doesn’t change anything between us. I love you with no strings attached.”

I blinked and tears poured down both my cheeks. “You still love me?”

“Of course I do. More than ever. I knew you were a survivor, but . . .” He ran a hand through his hair again, “I had no idea, Ivy. How you could be so strong after something like that . . .”

“I’m not strong, though.” I grabbed his forearms and held on. “It’s been this pressure inside of me that just built and built. And the trial—”

Reed closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been so damn hard for you.”

“It was at first. I know how irrational I was, Reed, but in my messed-up mind it was like you were standing up for my father. And that was wrong.”

“Anyone would’ve had trouble coping with that, Beauty. Did you have anyone to talk to about it?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I think my friend April suspects, but she’s never pushed me to talk about it. I went to a counselor when I first moved to Lovely, but when it came time to talk about it . . . I couldn’t. I want to go see her again.”

“Good.” Reed pulled back and met my eyes. “Listen to me. I love you, and nothing will change that.”

“Does it bother you that Noah’s father is—”

He cut in. “No. It . . . honestly, Ivy it just . . . makes me want to adopt him even more than I already did.”

“Noah?” More tears slipped from my eyes. “You want to adopt him?”

“I was hoping to when we . . . but then you . . .”

“You mean . . .” My mouth dropped open. “Really?”

“Yes.”

I threw my arms around his neck and he picked me up. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He kissed me, hard and deep. I kissed him back with the same hunger, biting at his lower lip as he walked us over to his open breakfast bar and backed me against the counter.

Everything else was forgotten as we tore at each other’s clothes. He kissed and nipped at my neck urgently.

“Here,” I said, shoving down the waistband of his jeans. “Take me right here. Right now.”

He sighed against my neck. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“I’ve got no self-control right now, Ivy. I’m crazy with wanting you. But don’t worry.”

He grabbed the sides of my panties and worked them off, bending down to put his face between my thighs.

“No,” I said firmly. “I want you inside me. Right now. Please, Reed.”

“I don’t want to be rough with you.”

“Be rough. I need it right now. Don’t hold back.” I gave him a frantic look. “Condom?”

“I’ve got one in my wallet.”

He took it out, opened it with his teeth and rolled it on.

“At least let me take you to bed,” he said, kissing me.

“Right here,” I said, moaning as he squeezed my ass in his palms.

Our bodies connected in a swirl of sensation. When he entered me in one powerful thrust, I cried out and rocked my hips against his.

No matter what he gave me, I wanted more. He hammered himself into me and I begged him to do it harder. I was overcome with emotion for him, my eyes meeting his as I came hard, his name coming out of my throat in a scream.

His body tensed and he groaned deeply against my neck. “Ivy,” he breathed.

I wrapped myself around him and we stayed that way, breathing each other in, until he carried me to the bedroom and we laid down together.

The peace that surrounded me was complete and perfect. It wasn’t too late. I hadn’t lost him. I promised myself I’d never take him for granted again.

THE NEXT MORNING, I
woke up to the feel of Reed’s warm breath on my neck. He was wrapped around me, his chest to my back, our legs tangled together. The closeness was more than physical. I’d opened my soul to him last night, and he’d accepted all of me.

I shifted slightly, hoping to sneak out of bed to the bathroom. Reed tightened his hold around my waist and kissed my shoulder.

“Don’t get up,” he said, his voice gravelly.

“I have to pee, though.”

“Make it quick. I want to spend all morning right here with you.”

I turned to face him. “Would it be okay if we went to Margie and Gene’s? I’m missing Noah after two nights away from him.”

“Yeah, of course.”

I stepped out of bed and searched the floor for my shirt.

“Living room,” Reed said, giving me a lazy smile.

“Oh. Right.” I started to walk that way but stopped in the doorway and turned to face him. “Thanks for . . . understanding, Reed. For giving us another chance.”

“I’m in love with you,” he said. “I’m not sure you get what that means just yet. It means I’ll never give up on us. I’d do anything for you. Love’s got ups and downs, and I’m all in, Ivy. I hope you are, too.”

“I am. I never want to be without you again.”

He smiled at me and stepped out of bed. I turned toward the living room, knowing even one good long look at his body would result in me ending up back in bed with him.

We both showered and dressed and Reed drove us to Margie and Gene’s. I’d missed the leathery smell of his truck and the way he looked driving it. My man was rugged, and God, did I love it.

After we parked, Reed opened my door and we walked up to the front door hand in hand. When I saw Margie standing there waiting for us, I was expecting a happy outburst about seeing us back together. But her expression was drawn, the lines by her eyes more pronounced.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my heart rate picking up speed. “Margie, is Noah okay?”

“He’s fine. It’s . . . there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“What is it?”

Reed wrapped his arm around my waist from behind and I laid my hand over his.

“Maybe we should go sit down,” Margie said.

“No, tell me,” I said. “Please just tell me.”

She sighed and gave me an apologetic look. “Walter Grieves passed away last night.”

“Walter?” My heart dropped into my stomach.

“His assistant found him this morning. It looks like he had a stroke.”

Reed wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me close, my back to his chest. Tears welled in my eyes as I thought about grouchy, particular, kindhearted Walter being gone. He hadn’t come in as usual last week, but I figured he was working on a book, or maybe that he’d gone to New York to see his agent as he sometimes did. Now we’d never have another heart to heart conversation. He’d never see me working to become a better writer.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I said softly, wiping the corners of my eyes.

“I know you were very fond of him,” Margie said. “And he was fond of you, too. That’s saying something coming from Walter.”

I smiled through my tears. “He’s actually very bighearted . . . or, he
was,
I guess.”

“It’s a real shame.” Margie looked up at Reed, acknowledging him for the first time since we’d arrived. “Good to see you, Reed. Would you two like some breakfast?”

“Did Gene make pancakes?” I asked.

“He and Noah are working on them now. Come on in and sit down.”

I stepped out of Reed’s arms and Margie rubbed a hand over my back.

“Everything went okay on your trip?” she asked me, still wearing a concerned expression.

“Yeah. I’ve needed to do that for a long time, and I’m relieved it’s over.”

She nodded silently and we walked into the kitchen where Noah jumped down from his stool, squealing with excitement. He raced toward me and I was about to open my arms when he passed me by and flew into Reed’s arms instead.

“Hey, big guy,” Reed said, sweeping Noah off the floor and hugging him close.

I’d almost ruined things by making our threesome into a twosome. But now that Reed was back in our lives, I wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, I
sat near the back of the crowded courtroom, waiting to hear the verdict on the trial. It was noon, but the diner had been nearly empty and everyone with any interest in the trial was either packed inside the courtroom or waiting outside on the sidewalk.

No matter what the verdict was, it wouldn’t affect my relationship with Reed. I felt lighter since the confrontation with my father. Facing him head-on had helped me stop projecting my resentment onto others.

The courtroom silenced as the bailiff passed the judge a folded piece of paper and he read it before folding it back up and giving it to the bailiff, who handed it to the jury foreman.

Reed and Chuck Ashley stood and then the judge addressed the foreman, “As to the charge of sexual assault, how does the jury find the defendant?”

“Guilty, your honor.”

A wave of gasps and whispers swept through the crowd and the judge held up a hand.

“Quiet, please.”

The courtroom went silent and the judge continued reading the list of charges, the jury foreman announcing a guilty verdict after each one.

A wave of emotion swelled inside me. I wanted to scream with happiness, but my eyes went to Reed who stood straight and still. I could see from his profile that his face was completely neutral. Chuck Ashley’s head was in his hands.

Reed whispered something in Chuck’s ear before the bailiff came over and led Chuck away. Reed shook the prosecutor Mark’s hand and turned to the crowd, scanning it. He stopped when his eyes locked with mine.

I held his gaze for a few seconds before turning and filing out of the courtroom with everyone else.

“Hope that bastard gets his in prison,” a woman murmured to someone.

It was all I could do not tell her she should focus her hopes on Chloe. She was only a sophomore in high school, and she had a long road ahead of her. This trial had been entertainment to some of these people, which was sad and pathetic. We were here because a girl had been victimized by her own stepfather and now she needed the support of the community more than ever.

My emotions swirled, calming by the time I got back to the diner. Margie looked at me stoically.

“You heard?” I asked.

She nodded and opened her arms to me. I let her hold me close.

“How you doin’?” she asked softly.

“I’m okay. Good. Glad it went the way it did.”

“Well, I want you to take the rest of the day off. Just take some time—”

Her voice trailed off and I turned to see what she was looking at. Reed was walking through the diner’s front door, his tie loosened and his expression relaxed for the first time in a while.

I left Margie’s arms and went to him, taking in his scent as he pulled me against the hard lines of his chest.

“You okay?” I whispered in his ear, tightening my arms around his shoulders.