Deep Blue (8 page)

I blinked back tears as I cradled the bundle against my chest and walked back toward my wooden stairs. I sat down and looked up at the clear blue skies for a moment, before I reached down and pulled the quilt partly off of his body. Posy started to cry uncontrollably and I somehow found it in myself to still look down.

And there he was with a huge hole on top of his head. One of his eyes and ears were missing and he seemed to have started bloating already from being in the ground. The stench on him was strong, but I didn’t care. He had been my best friend for years and from what she told me, I killed him out of an act of mercy.

I whipped the quilt back over Scout’s head and went to the hole we had buried him in, gently dropping him back down in. My lips trembled viciously as I fought back the urge to scream and told her to put the dirt back on him.

There was no way in hell I would’ve done this. Not to Scout; not to anyone. The only logical explanation was that the person that knew where my dog was buried was the one that killed him.

There’s going to be hell to pay for this, bitch,
I thought angrily as I watched her start shoving the dirt back into the hole.

Posy

I
t finally and suddenly dawned on me that Troy Cahill was batshit crazy. It also dawned on me that I must be as well, because I was inexplicably drawn to him. I wanted nothing more than to fix him and silence his demons. The only way I would be able to manage that was to knock him out and drown them, but something told me that his demons knew how to swim.

The way he had me claw Scout out of the ground only to have me put him back in scared me worse than anything he had done to me so far. The branding, the using me as some kind of animal equipment; none of it terrified me more than him having me dig that dog out.

He was still standing over me as I pushed the last of the dirt into place and I could
feel
the anger rolling off of his body. When I was done, I wiped as much dirt as I could off on my dress and got to my feet. I glanced up at the sun shining brightly in the blue sky and wondered how I was going to calm him down.

“I’m ready to tell you now,” I said quietly.

“Tell me what?” he asked angrily.

“About what happened to me after you traded me off.”

“If you think a sad story or two is going to make me forget about my dog, you’ve got another thing coming,” he warned.

I turned slowly to face him. I don’t know what got into me, but I calmly reached forward and took his hand in mine. He let me lead him back to the wooden staircase where he had just held Scout and sat down next to me, after I gave his hand a gentle tug.

Troy impatiently pushed the brim of his cap up and glared at me. I swallowed hard and made sure not to maintain eye contact. Instead I folded my hands on my lap and tried desperately to remember the things that were done to me. The things I had fought so viciously to forget.

“The first one was Denton. I don’t know if you remember him; he was an older, like middle aged. Anyway, he was my first official owner I guess. He had a thing from broomsticks too. I can’t tell you how many times he’d crack me across the ass with one, just for his own personal entertainment. He said that hearing me ‘squeal like a little piggy’ made his day. Of course that escalated from just getting beat with the stick. One night he decided to get adventurous and shoved it inside of me. Not all the way obviously or he would’ve killed me, but just far enough to make me scream in pain. He was an evil bastard,” I said, chewing my lower lip at the memories.

“Next was Nathan. I can’t tell you how happy I was after the ‘official year of ownership’ was over and I got traded again. I was surprised that I had been strong enough to survive Denton, but little did I know that Nathan wasn’t any better. I guess I kind of hoped I’d get relief at some point, but he was new to the game and that made him cruel and clumsy,” I recalled with a sigh. “He was about my age at the time I think. Being a teenager like me, he thought that I would have the stamina and the energy to take whatever he did to me. But the night that he lost control and almost ended up breaking my neck, he got scared. See, Nathan liked to tie me up; ropes, chains, sheets, whatever he could get his hands on. The time that I’m referring to, he had tied a sheet around my neck and got behind me. I think his plan was to fuck me, but he pulled too hard before he even got the chance to put his little dick inside of me and I gurgled and pitched forward as limp as his dick suddenly went. It scared the shit out of him and he didn’t touch me again after that. No, instead he put me in a cage for the rest of the year feeding me only every now and then until it was time for another trade.”

Tears stung my eyes at the tidal wave of memories crashing down on me. I had done such a good job of forgetting and now I was remembering again to try and save my life.

“Posy,” Troy said quietly. “You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

Oh, so now you’re human?
I thought bitterly wiping away the tears.

“No. I need to finish. Please,” I said. Troy sighed next to me and put a hand on my leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze. With a deep breath, I moved on to bastard number three.

“Okay, so after Nathan was William. He’s the one that started calling me an ugly whore. He’s the one that started to make me believe I wasn’t worth the breaths I took. That’s when I think I started to mentally crumble. That’s when I started to realize that if I wasn’t capable of being emotionally strong anymore, I’d have to try to be physically strong. And boy did he ever test my strength,” I recalled with an angry laugh. “What you had me do today? With the seed machine? He put me through worse. William had a farm too, not as nice or as big as yours, but he had one. Every single fucking morning at five a.m. I had to go out and feed his animals. Then he would have me push his tractor down the rows as he did whatever the hell he was doing. I remember dropping down once from exhaustion so he tied my wrists together and looped them through the back of the tractor, dragging me the rest of the way. I never fell down again after that. No matter how tired I was, no matter how hot the sun was, I refused to have that happen to me again.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore,” Troy said, suddenly getting to his feet. “Come on inside.”

“There are three more and then you,” I reminded him with a glance.

“Just come inside, Posy,” he replied, a slight waver to his voice.

“Only if you promise to let me tell you the rest eventually.”

He nodded and walked into the house. I pushed myself off of the stairs and followed Troy inside. As it turns out, he wasn’t in the living room so I walked into the kitchen and still couldn’t find him.

“Troy?”

“Bedroom,” he called back.

I rolled my eyes and hoped this wouldn’t be another almost sexual encounter. Nothing about what I had just told him was putting me in the mood. I wandered into the bedroom to find him standing by the closet door. He swung it open when he saw me and motioned for me to come over.

“Take your dress off for a second,” he said once I got to him. The look I gave him made him smile and shake his head. “Not for that. Just leave your bra and panties on. I want you to take your dress off only.”

With weary eyes, I just stood there and watched him. Troy chuckled as he pulled me close to him and turned me around. Reaching up for the straps of my dress, he pulled them over my shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I turned my face away but he leaned down and gently forced me to look at my reflection.

“You’re
not
ugly, Posy. Look at yourself. Your face reminds me of pictures of angels I saw when I was a kid. Innocent, flawless, and glowing. Even if it’s just a dim glow now, it’s still there. Your eyes ... They remind me of a crystal clear lake where you can see down to the bottom and just make out the mossy rocks; I think that’s why there’s green in your eyes, you now. God and this body,” he breathed, running his hands down me sides, outlining my shape. “It’s my favorite so far. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but
fuck
, baby girl.”

He stopped talking for a moment, laying his chin on my shoulder and running his hands down to my hips before he looked up into my eyes in the mirror.

“I know for a fact you’re not a whore. Know how?” he asked. I shook my head. “Because you know when to say no. I’m sure you’ve said it to them and your body has said it to me a couple of times already. If you were a whore, you’d go with the flow; body and soul.”

He stood up to his full height behind me and let out a deep sigh.

“Put your dress back on, Posy. Remember everything I said in the next few days, okay? No matter what happens, try to remember what I said.”

He walked away and left me in the bedroom to stare at myself in the mirror. It was obvious that he had just laid out a warning to me and I knew that for whatever time I had left here, I was going to have to fight harder for my life than I ever had before.

T
roy stayed away from me for the rest of the day. Even when it was dinner time, he told me it was ready and took his plate outside to eat. I wasn’t exactly sure what was going through his head, but I wasn’t going to ask. He kind of struck me as like a feral animal; once false move and all hell would break loose.

So I ate my dinner of grilled chicken breasts, mashed potatoes, and broccoli alone at the table. Truth be told, I didn’t care much for chicken or broccoli, but I also didn’t want to piss him off. Once I cleaned my plate, I took it over to the sink and turned on the water. I reached over toward the stove and made sure it was off, while I waited for the water to become the temperature I wanted.

With a sigh, I ran the plate under the water letting the fork and knife clatter into the sink. I reached for the dish washing liquid and grabbed the sponge. I busied myself scrubbing the plate clean before placing it on the dish rack, followed by the knife and the fork. I was just about to turn the water off, when Troy slid his dirty plate and utensils in the sink. I jumped because normally his boots gave away whether he was coming or going and I didn’t hear them. I was too far off in my own little world of nothing.

Clearing my throat, I grabbed his plate and scrubbed it clean, then the fork, then the knife. The same as I had done with mine. It was weird not to have him hover over me. He literally dropped his stuff in the sink and walked away from me.

What’s his deal?

“Hey,” I called out, turning off the faucet. I walked quickly out of the kitchen into the living room, to find him halfway out the door. He stopped at the sound of my voice and turned part way to look at me.

“What’s up?” I asked him tilting my head and crossing my arms over my chest.

“Nothing. I was just gonna go for a walk in the fields. Make sure everything’s growing the way it’s supposed to,” he replied with a shrug.

“Oh,” I replied suspiciously.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. The place is bigger than it looks,” he said, letting the door slam shut behind him.

I ran back into the kitchen and glanced out the window. I knew that if he was telling the truth, at some point I would see him from where I was.

It couldn’t have been mere seconds that passed by before he walked past the window and disappeared into the fields. The stalks of corn were so high up and plentiful, that it left me wondering where the hell the barley was that he had talked about.

When I couldn’t seem him anymore I got frustrated. I don’t know why; it just felt like if I couldn’t keep my eyes on him he might leave and not come back. I know that sounds childish, but in a sick and twisted way, Troy was my safe place.

I slapped the windowsill angrily and walked out of the house. I couldn’t understand what was coming over me, but I didn’t want to be alone anymore and seeing him would calm me down. I walked outside and toward the back of the house because I remembered a ladder being propped against the backside of the house.

I gripped it on either side and made sure it was firmly planted and began to climb up. Even though it was a one level farm house and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to see him
too well
, I knew I’d be able to see him somewhat and that was better than not at all.

Once I made it to the top, I almost lost my footing and accidentally kicked the ladder to the ground.
Fuck! Now how am I going to get down?

I’d worry about that later I decided as I moved to the center of the roof. I turned in all directions, glancing around the farm land trying to catch a glimpse of Troy. Like clockwork, the irrigation systems started up all over his land.

And that’s what got my attention honestly. I looked around at each one and noticed one moving, like it was being pushed by something, or someone.

What the hell?
I thought squinting at it. I put a hand over my brow to rid myself of the sun’s glare as it continued to move. But what was moving it and why?

Suddenly as it started to slowly come out of the shadows of the field, I felt myself becoming sick. I wasn’t exactly sure if I was seeing what I thought I was, but it looked like people were hanging from that one. Not by their necks, by their wrists being bound together and hooked on.

As it moved closer and closer to an old, large seemingly abandoned building, I counted one, two, three, four, five, people hanging from it. And they were all wearing sundresses just like me. As the first one started to disappear into the structure, I saw something that made me swallow a scream.

Troy was pushing the irrigation machine into the old building. He was the reason it was moving and I had no way of getting down without him knowing that I saw him.

Troy

“Y
ou ladies doing okay?” I asked them once I got them safely inside. It was going to be an exceptionally hot day and I didn’t want any of them to suffer unnecessarily in the heat. They had already suffered enough, I had reasoned to myself.

I went over to the old water pump I had in here and placed a bucket underneath it. I made sure that if anything in this old horse stable worked, it would be this. If it didn’t I don’t think I’d find the time or compassion in myself to drive my tractor back and forth just to bring them all water.