Deciding Love (12 page)

Her eyes turned sad and I hated that. She blew out a slow breath. “You’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t give yourself a chance. Maybe in the past you haven’t been good with relationships, but there’s always a point or a person that can change that.” She leaned forward, looking me earnestly in the eyes. “You need to realize, Kyle, there is no one better than you.”

I’d spent all week throwing myself into my school work and the shop, doing what I could to push my conversation with Cat to the back of my mind. I’d worked a couple of shifts with Colt, which helped to remind me just why I was right in staying away from his sister. We’d been friends for too long for me to screw it up.

Unfortunately, when I lay in bed at night, I couldn’t help but think of what Cat had said.

Could I make Chloe happy? Was I denying myself something that could change my life for the better?

It just wasn’t worth the risk. I’d ruin my friendship with Colt, and possibly Chloe and Cat’s too. I couldn’t do that.

I also had to keep busy so I wouldn’t go insane with what could only be explained as jealousy. Chloe had driven home with Jax every day of the week, those eyes not so much as even glancing in my direction. It felt like a physical loss. I’d had absolutely no contact with her, and I hated it.

Saturday Cat had gone to Chloe’s house instead of them hanging out at ours, and that pissed me off too. Everything was putting me in a foul mood. So when Sunday came around and Rannon had texted me about a barbecue at Colt’s, I was thankful for the diversion from all my problems. Hanging out with old friends was the perfect way to lighten my mood.

Pulling up to his house, I noticed there was already a line of cars parked outside. I walked up, looking over the chain link fence between his house and Olivia’s just as her parents walked out. I lifted a hand to them.

“Hello, Kyle,” her dad called out.

“Hello, Mr. Banks,” I replied.

“How’s your mama doing, son?”

Mr. Banks was an older man. I didn’t know when they had Olivia, but it had obviously been late in life. He was a nice man though, one of the few that never seemed to judge us younger guys.

“She has her good days,” I said, leaving out that she also had her bad days, and those seemed to be more often than the former.

Her mother nodded in understanding, a pitying look crossing her face that made me want to get away quick.

“Make sure you send her our regards,” Mr. Banks said.

“Will do, sir.”

I turned and walked into the garage, entering the door there that led directly into the kitchen. There was no sense in knocking, no one would have heard me over the music.

As I entered, I realized everyone was out in the backyard. Everyone except one person, who stood in the kitchen, her head looking up at me, eyes widening.

I froze, my hand still on the doorknob, as I took in Chloe up close, for the first time in a week. It felt like years.

Her hair was down in soft waves around her face. She wore a green sundress that showed off the healthy glow of her skin, and only a minimal amount of make-up that still made her look natural, while accenting those eyes and lips.

We both stared at each other for a moment before she seemed to snap out of it, her lips lifting in a hesitant smile.

“Hey, Kyle,” she said softly.

“Hey,” I replied, my voice embarrassingly hoarse.

“Briggs! You’re here,” Rannon said, making the two of us jump. His eyes looked between us, but if he noticed anything, he didn’t say.

I finally moved, walking further into the room, letting the door shut. We clasped hands and bumped shoulders.

“Everyone is outside, man,” Rannon said. “The cooler’s full. Make sure you grab yourself a beer.”

I just nodded, my thoughts too mixed up to reply, especially since I was concentrating extra hard on keeping myself from looking at Chloe again. I wanted to so badly. I felt like a man starved.

Forcing my feet to move, I headed out to a cheer of greetings. Grabbing a much needed drink, I dropped down into a seat and did my best to immerse myself with my friends.

“Where’s Ella?” I asked Olivia. Usually the two best friends were always together at parties.

“She’s still at the farm,” she said with a frown. “Her little one is sick, so they couldn’t get away.”

“That’s too bad.”

She nodded. “Yeah. But Colt and I are going to go up for a visit next weekend.”

The back door slid open, and my entire body stiffened. I didn’t have to look to know Chloe had come out.

Why hadn’t I assumed she’d be here? It made sense Colt would have invited her, and yet it hadn’t occurred to me on the way over. Trying my best to keep from gawking at her, I kept my head turned away, pretending to listen to whatever Colt and Rannon were talking about.

Her scent suddenly washed over me. Closing my eyes briefly, I inhaled the sweetness that drove me crazy. Blinking, I caught the sway of brown tresses beside me, and finally gave in, looking at her as she leaned over the table to place a tray of food down.

The back of her dress rode up slightly, showing off more of her perfectly toned thighs. I wiped a hand over my mouth, biting back a groan.

“Chloe, you don’t need to do that,” Olivia said.

Chloe smiled. “I don’t mind.”

Olivia slapped Colt on the chest. “Stop your sister from doing all the work. You should be helping.”

Colt rubbed at his chest. “Okay, okay,” he said.

“I’ll help her,” I said standing up before Colt could. What the fuck was I doing? I didn’t know, but I was beginning to think I had a masochistic side to me I didn’t know about.

Chloe hid her face behind the curtain of her hair, but not before I saw that telltale blush. She didn’t look at me as she turned and walked back inside.

“You sure?” Colt asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, man. Just hang out,” I said, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. Turning, I followed her, my heart racing with every step.

Letting the door slide closed behind me, I stood just inside the kitchen, my eyes on her as she busied herself. She looked over her shoulder at me when the door clicked, that same nervous smile from before on her face again. It wasn’t the smile from that Sunday morning. That one had been happy and comfortable. I wanted to see that smile again, not this one.

“You don’t have to help,” she said, turning back around to continue chopping some onions for the burgers.

“I don’t mind,” I said, walking around the counter to stand behind her. What I was doing was stupid, but I couldn’t help it. My body wanted to be close to hers, just as it had that night of the party when I’d seen her in the hall.

I kept my chest from brushing her bare back, but close enough to feel her heat. I inhaled her scent, wanting so badly to drop my head and taste the delicate skin of those smooth shoulders.

Her hand faltered, and I could hear her breathing become shallower. I looked down at the cutting board, noticing she was no longer chopping.

“Do you want me to do that?” I asked, letting amusement colour my tone.

13

Chloe

I was going to melt.

Kyle stood behind me, the heat of him warming me as his bigger size made me feel small and feminine. I closed my eyes, whatever I’d been doing forgotten. All I wanted to do was lean into him, feel his body against mine.

“Do you want me to do that?” he asked. I could hear a smile in his voice, which should have snapped me out of it. But it didn’t. Damn it. I loved amused Kyle and his perfect smile. And the deep richness of his voice rolled over me, causing my heart to pick up speed.

My body swayed, my back brushing against his chest. A large, warm hand suddenly gripped my hip, holding me against him. The other landed on the counter in front of me, caging me in. He was so much bigger than me, his scent and essence everywhere.

His fingers flexed on my hip, the firm hold causing my body to tremor with an unfamiliar need.

“Chloe,” he said darkly, his voice right next to my ear. Hearing my name on his tongue would never get old. I felt his lips against the side of my neck in a ghost of a touch.

I’d spent all week avoiding him, convincing myself I had no feelings for Kyle Briggs. I had been doing so well too, all for it to blow up in my face the first second I came face to face with him.

“Chloe?” a familiar voice called out, bursting the fragile bubble that surrounded us.

Kyle cursed under his breath, his hand squeezing me tightly once more before releasing me. I instantly stepped aside, letting Kyle take my place in front of the cutting board as I turned, my face probably as red as a tomato.

Jax stood on the other side of the counter, his expression unreadable as his eyes bore into Kyle’s back.

“Hey,” I said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re here.”

“Yeah,” he said slowly, moving to look at me. “Sorry I’m late, but work kept me longer than I expected.”

“That’s fine,” I said, hitching my thumb toward Kyle. “We were just getting the food ready. I don’t think Colt’s started the barbecue yet, so you haven’t missed anything.”

He raised his brows, glancing at Kyle again before saying, “that’s good. I wouldn’t want to miss anything.”

My face burned brighter as I fidgeted with the hem of my dress.

“You look beautiful,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“What’s up, Briggs?”

Kyle nodded his head, not bothering to look back at him as he continued his rhythmic chopping. “What’s up,” he said back.

As though my body was still linked to his, it shivered at the sound of his voice again.

“Are you cold?” Jax asked, noticing.

I thought I heard Kyle snort. Ignoring him, I waved Jax off. “It’s probably just the AC. You want to go outside? I was just about to bring out some bowls of chips. You can help if you want?” Oh my God, I was rambling.

“Sure,” he replied, grabbing one from the counter. I picked up the other two, hurrying around the counter toward the back door.

Space. I just needed some space. And fresh air. Then I’d have my wits about me again and remember why I’d invited Jax here today. He was the one I was going to try to make it work with, not Kyle. Whatever that was that had just happened wouldn’t happen again.

When Colt had invited me, I’d known it was likely Kyle would be here too. Although, when I’d gotten here and saw he wasn’t, I had hoped perhaps I’d been wrong.

Until he’d walked in looking like sex on legs. He wore tight black pants with a black t-shirt that made him sinful. With that dark hair perfectly styled and those eyes piercing me from behind his reflective sunglasses, I’d been both instantly excited and nervous to see him.

I just hoped having Jax with me would occupy my mind enough to forget Kyle’s presence.

As it was, that didn’t turn out to be the case. No matter where we were in the backyard, and what we talked about, I was constantly aware of Kyle’s gaze on me. I felt like prey being slowly pursued by a predator.

If Jax noticed, he didn’t say anything. Although he started slamming back beers, which made me think perhaps he was just as nervous as I was, and was handling it differently.

Thankfully everyone else knew Jax and treated him as though it was cool he was there, even though he was younger than the rest of them. Olivia in particular did her best to make us both feel welcome.

As the evening wore on, I noticed that telltale glassy look wash over Jax’s eyes. We were sitting at the table, listening to Rannon tell some exaggerated story I could only assume wasn’t true, when I felt Jax tug on my arm.

I looked up at him and he jerked his head to the side, signaling he wanted me to follow him. Getting up, my eyes flickered to Kyle, where he sat further down the table. That dark gaze, no longer hidden behind glasses, was already on me, the look in them unreadable as he watched Jax and I walk off.

We headed around the side of the house. As soon as we were out of everyone’s sight, I let out the breath I had apparently been holding.

“What’s up?” I asked as Jax came to a stop.

Before I knew what he was doing, he moved toward me, forcing my back against the brick of the house. I gasped as his cold hands rested on either side of my face.

“You’re so hot, Chloe,” he said, his words slurring slightly.

“Uh, thank you?”

“I want you so bad,” he said, leaning in closer.

I tried to move my head back but bumped the wall behind me. I was trapped, and not entirely comfortable. Jax leaned in the rest of the way, his lips touching mine. I froze as his tongue probed at the seam of my mouth. His kiss was sloppy and awkward as I opened up to him. He tasted like beer, and it felt as though his tongue was being shoved down my throat.

Pushing at his chest, I tried to dislodge him while speaking around his kisses, but he kept at it. Finally I turned my head to the side as I pushed harder against him.

“Jax, stop,” I said, taking a breath. He breathed in deeply through his nose, taking a step back.

“Sorry, you just drive me insane,” he said with a lopsided smile.