Deciding Love (11 page)

And the incident in the hallway before the party? I was chalking it up to a simple error in judgement, on both our parts.

No, there was nothing between us, and I would prove it. Goodbye Chloe’s silly crush, and hello a real chance at connecting with someone.

“Hey, Jax,” I said, standing in front of our desk. I gave him my best smile, hoping my hair and make-up still looked as good as it had this morning when I’d done it. I was wasting no efforts in moving on with my senior year.

“Hey!” he said happily, his eyes taking me in.

A sense of relief washed over me. To be honest, I hadn’t been certain he would even talk to me again after Saturday. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t have blamed him. As it was, he looked behind me with both brows raised.

“No security detail today?”

I laughed, waving him off as I took a seat at the table. “I’m sorry about that. Kyle just gets a bit uptight when it comes to Cat.”

“Really?” he said, tilting his head at me, his gaze searching, questioning. “Because it seems to me like he gets a bit uptight when it comes to you too.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know what his problem is,” I replied, being as dismissive as I could. It was crucial I show Jax how little I cared about Kyle, or his tantrums.

I flipped my hair over my shoulder, my inner feminist cringing at the action, and gave him flirty eyes. Or, at least I hoped they were flirty. Knowing me, I probably just looked like I had something in them.

“Hey, you think you could give me a ride home today?” I asked.

“A-are you sure? I don’t want any problems like last time.”

I gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, there won’t be any problems like last time. I promise.”

“Cool.”

Our teacher walked in then, calling for our attention. I spent the next period doing my best to concentrate on work while at the same time trying to calm my racing heart.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong. So then why was I so nervous? If Kyle decided to throw another fit, he could just shove it. I was getting in Jax’s Jeep and that was all there was to it.

I could do this.

As I walked past other students still packing up at their lockers to go home, I kept saying the mantra under my breath. What did people say? If you will yourself to believe something enough, it will come true?

“You can do this,” I said again, taking a deep breath.

“Talking to yourself, loser?” Hilary sneered, her and her squad giggling as I went by.

Ignoring her, I made my way out the front doors, immediately finding Cat in her usual spot with Jessie. As I made my way over to them, watching their interaction as I always did, I wondered when Cat was going to clue in to Jessie’s real feelings. She seemed to be the only one who didn’t notice how he looked at her.

“Hey,” I said, hiking up my bag before it slid off my shoulders. I was not nervous. I was not nervous. I could do this.

“Hey, Chlo,” Jessie greeted.

“You all ready to leave?” asked Cat.

“Actually,” I said, looking away to scan the parking lot, and to discreetly clear my throat since my voice had suddenly got lodged in it. I passed right over the familiar sight of Kyle’s car, to land on Jax’s Jeep waiting a couple of spots away.

“Actually?” Cat asked, bringing my attention back.

“Sorry. Actually, I’m going to ride home with Jax today,” I said, watching for her reaction.

Her eyebrows shot up. And if I wasn’t mistaken, I could have sworn she was fighting back a smile.

“Yeah?”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Okay then,” she said casually.

“What’s the big deal?” Jessie asked, looking between us.

“No big deal,” I answered quickly.

“Okay?” he said, clearly confused. “I’ll catch up with you girls later. I see my ride.”

He took off, heading toward some classic muscle car that even I recognized as being expensive.

“Who’s that?” I asked, squinting against the sun to see if I could make out the driver.

“His brother, or cousin,” Cat answered. “Something like that.”

I turned back to her, tilting my head. “When are you going to give that poor guy a shot?”

She rolled her eyes as we started walking.

“Jessie and I are just friends. Why can’t anyone understand that?”

“Because he clearly wants more than just friendship.”

“You’re seeing things.”

We stopped where we’d have to separate.

“So,” she said with a cheeky grin. “I’ll call you later?”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “Have fuuuun.”

I shook my head, laughing, as I walked backwards away from her. “You’re such a loser,” I said.

She winked, walking to Kyle’s car with a wave.

As I neared his truck, Jax got out, walking around with a giant grin on his face.

“Madame,” he said, opening my door. “Your chariot awaits.”

I laughed. “Why thank you, kind sir.”

“Chloe!”

The sound of his voice had me freezing, mid-stride.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I heard Jax mutter under his breath.

Inhaling slowly, I told myself to remain calm. He was not my puppet master. Just because Kyle Briggs called out my name in warning, the sound of it both exciting me and aggravating me, didn’t mean I had to give in. Slowly, I turned to look in his direction, those aviator sunglasses of his hiding his dark eyes. It didn’t matter though, I could still feel them on me as I would a physical touch.

We stared at each other across the space until I broke it, facing Jax again. Giving him a reassuring smile, I moved again, ducking into open passenger door.

“Let’s go,” I said.

The relief on his face actually made me feel bad for the guy.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, happily slamming the door shut behind me.

I didn’t look behind me to see if Kyle still stood beside his car or not. Instead, I forced myself to face forward, feeling stiff and uncomfortable, as if my body knew it was in the wrong vehicle with the wrong person. His scent was wrong, and his nearness didn’t make me want to only get closer.

Stop it!
I ordered myself. I was not in the wrong car, damn it. I was right where I had decided to be.

12

Kyle

It took me a moment to realize what Chloe was doing as she walked away from Cat instead of with her to my car. Jax met her outside his Jeep again, and all I saw was red. What did she think she was doing?

Distantly I heard Cat greet me as she got into the car, but by that time I was already climbing out. I shouted Chloe’s name, expecting her to leave him for me like she had last time.

But she didn’t.

She looked at me and then turned away, getting into Jax’s Jeep without another glance my way. I don’t know how long I stood there, watching her drive away as an array of sensations slammed through me.

It felt as if I’d just lost something extremely important, and I couldn’t comprehend what that was. There was a strange feeling falling over me as I sat back behind the wheel, my eyes seeing nothing as I looked out the windshield.

She’d chosen Jax over me.

It was completely ridiculous that I should be having these feelings. Chloe was allowed to do whatever she wanted. We were nothing to each other - not even friends. If anything, we were mere acquaintances. After the run in Sunday with Rachel, how could I expect her not to move on?

Move on?

As if she’d been vying for me or something. Man, I was an absolute idiot.

Shaking my head, I turned the car on and started driving, trying my best to pay attention.

“Wow,” Cat said with a small laugh.

I glanced at her quickly. “Wow what?” I asked.

“You have it even worse than I thought, don’t you?”

I shifted in my seat, looking in my mirrors - anywhere - instead of her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, keeping my tone bored and uninterested, even as my body tensed for whatever she was going to say. Because I knew it would be some form of the truth. Cat had the ability to see through whatever outward appearance people put on. She could read others easier than I could a book. It had always made me nervous, and now was no exception.

“Sure you don’t,” she said. I could feel her eyes burning into me.

“Why don’t you enlighten me?” I suggested.

She huffed as if she were annoyed with me. I bit back a grin. It was so easy to irritate my sister, and I was the best at it.

“Chloe, Ky. You have it so bad for her and you just can’t admit it.”

I snorted. “Sorry to burst your bubble, kitty, but no, I don’t.”

“Why can’t you just admit it? She’s an amazing girl. There’s nothing wrong with you liking her.”

There was that word again - like. Such an inadequate word.

“I’m sure she is,” I said evenly. “But I don’t like her.”

I could practically feel the waves of anger rolling off her.

“Why do you think that?” I asked, genuinely intrigued.

“Because I have eyes,” she snapped. “And a brain, for that matter. The first time you drove her home, you turned in your seat to look at her and froze. You just froze,” she said. “Both of you did. You two just locked onto each other as though no one else existed. I don’t know if you guys even realized how long you did it for.”

Words seemed to escape me. I’d frozen because Chloe was the most beautiful girl. And I’d known it wasn’t just physically, but inside to. The girl radiated a sweet nature that you couldn’t help but notice.

“It was like that moment, you know?” She went on.

“What moment?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“That moment. The one when two people who are meant to be, finally see each other and their life changes, their paths forever intertwined.”

I looked over at her and laughed. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Ridicule me all you want, Ky. I know what I witnessed, and I know what I see every time you look at her and you think no one is watching.”

“I think you’re mistaken, little sister. You’re imagining things.”

“So then what’s with you shouting her name as if you own her or something? Hmm? Why do you get so pissed when she’s with other guys?”

I shrugged, tightening my grip on the wheel. “I’m just looking out for her because she’s Colt’s sister.”

I could see her nod her head out of the corner of my eye. When I glanced at her, she was staring out the window, her jaw clenched as it always was when she was pissed.

“Well she’s a beautiful girl, you know?” She said. “Jax isn’t the only one who notices. Other guys watch her too, even though she wouldn’t know it. Because that’s the type of girl she is. The pretty one who has no idea, and who doesn’t use it as some sort of weapon like Hilary, and all the other girls you hook up with.”

“Easy now,” I warned.

“I’m just stating facts,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “If Jax doesn’t snatch her up, someone else will. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“I don’t want to do anything about it,” I said, pushing through the ache that had now risen to my throat.

“Good,” she said haughtily.

We reverted back to silence as I tried to push the feelings swirling around in my head away. It was what I was good at, numbing myself. For some reason though, I was struggling.

“It’s no wonder Colt accepted her so effortlessly, you know?” Cat said casually, as though we were having an easy conversation.

I sighed, debating on whether or not I should even ask. “No, why is it no wonder?”

“Because she’s so sweet. That’s why all the guys notice her too. And I just figured, that’s probably why Colt liked her too. It’s hard not to,” she answered with a shrug.

“She’s his sister,” I said, some part of me defensive at the thought that he wouldn’t have accepted her.

“Yeah, but the situation with his mom and dad is rough, so he could just have easily taken it out on her.”

I screwed up my face. “Colt wouldn’t do that, he’s not that kind of person. Chloe isn’t at fault here.”

She turned to face me. I kept my eyes on the road even though I could feel hers boring into me.

“Exactly.”

What? My sister could be the most confusing person, I swear. Or it was just a girl thing, because I literally had no idea where her brain went sometimes.

“Exactly what?” I asked, exasperated.

“Colt,” she answered.

I huffed. “What about him?”

“He’s not that kind of person,” she said as though I were an idiot. “He’s not the type to judge people or get mad at others for silly reasons. He’s understanding, and clearly wants his sister to be happy.”

I shook my head, pulling onto our street. “I know where you’re going with this, and it’s not going to work, kitty.” I glanced at her and she just blinked at me. “I wouldn’t make her happy,” I said, the truth depressing me even as I said it.

“Of course you would,” Cat said, her voice gentle now. “Why can’t you give yourself more credit?”

I pulled up beside our house and turned off the car. We sat in silence as I stared down at the wheel, unseeing.

“I know the person that I am, and I know that even if I didn’t want to, I’d end up screwing up and hurting her,” I said. There was no denying my attraction to her to Cat anymore, but at least I could make her see how wrong I was for her friend. I turned to look at my sister, pleading with my eyes for her to understand and believe me. “She deserves better, kitty. I know I’m your brother and you love me, but trust me, she deserves better than me.”