Deciding Love (23 page)

Balancing himself on his elbow, his gaze bore into mine as he reached down and circled my sensitive clit.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. I couldn’t come again. He’d already made me climax twice, if I did a third time I was afraid I’d pass right out.

His lips lifted on one side as he continued his torture. “One more time, baby. You can do it.”

That set me off again, this one even stronger than the last. By the time I was done screaming, my throat felt raw and my muscles felt like jello. Kyle thrust once, twice, then buried himself so deeply in me I felt another flutter from my orgasm as he reached his. He let out a hoarse bellow, burying his face in my neck. He licked my skin, making me shudder, tightening around him as his face rose. His lips covered mine in a slow, languid kiss before he pulled back and rolled off me, tucking me against his side.

I sighed contently, snuggling in.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, stretching lazily. I always thought I’d be embarrassed to be naked in front of a guy, even if he was my boyfriend, but I didn’t feel that way at all with Kyle. His gaze only looked at me as though I were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

After he’d gotten up to dispose of the condom, he’d come back into the room and just stood at the end of the bed watching me. His eyes had raked down my naked skin, making me flush from head to toe. I’d thought then he would join me back in bed, but instead he’d gone to my desk and grabbed a notebook and pen, and then he had pulled up the chair and sat there with just my sheet wrapped low around his hips.

When I’d asked what he was doing, he’d told me to just stay as I was, so I did. I think I might have even dosed off for twenty minutes or so, my mind and body so utterly relaxed. But now I was curious again.

He had that extremely focused look on his face as he constantly glanced from me to the paper. He wasn’t actually drawing me, was he? I’d never seen him draw before, or heard Cat mention that he did.

“I’m writing my grocery list,” he replied dryly.

I snorted. “There’s no way you grocery shop.”

He smirked, his eyes remaining engrossed as his hand moved rapidly over the paper. “True,” he said.

I fidgeted, the need to roll onto my back suddenly unbearable. I wanted to move!

“Kyle,” I said, shifting to ease the sudden discomfort in my back.

“Give me one more minute, sweetheart, and then you can move.”

“Fine,” I mumbled, putting my head back down the way I’d been before.

With my hands pillowing my face, I watched Kyle, letting my eyes lazily roam over his hair all mussed up. His dark brows lowered over eyes that could stop my heart, just as fast as they could make it race.

He was beautiful. Rough and edgy, but still beautiful. That mouth that had ruined me for any other guy slowly tipped up on one side while he worked.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“I’m just thinking of all the things I’m going to do to you when I’m done, since you’re looking at me that way.”

I couldn’t stop the grin from stretching across my face. “And how am I watching you?”

“The same way I am you,” he said, pausing what he was doing to look at me. “Like you have everything you need right in front of you.”

My mouth was dry as I swallowed, my grin slipping from my face, desire sweeping over me.

“Are you done?” I asked, my voice husky.

“Yes,” he said, surprising me.

I instantly sat up, eager now to see what he’d been up to. Standing, he brought the paper over to me, looking confident as he placed it in my outstretched hands.

I honestly didn’t know what to expect. What I saw definitely wasn’t it. Kyle had made me seem beautiful and classic, my naked body smooth and curvy as I lay on my stomach. Only a glimpse of my breast could be seen. He’d drawn my face when I’d been sleeping, my eyes closed, fanned by my thick lashes, and my lips open slightly and relaxed. I looked peaceful and somehow angelic with my face lying on my hand in a way that made the picture more innocent than sexy, even though I was nude.

I was shocked. Is this how he saw me?

“What do you think?” He asked, sitting beside me and kissing me on my shoulder.

“It’s amazing,” I said, still in awe. I turned to look at him, our faces only inches from each other’s. “You’re really talented.”

“Yeah?” He looked curious that I actually thought so.

I nodded. “I could never draw something like this. Why didn’t you tell me you were so good at drawing?”

He shrugged. “I don’t do it very often anymore.”

I looked back at the picture, shaking my head. “You shouldn’t waste a talent like this, Kyle. Seriously, it’s incredible.”

He chuckled. “Well unfortunately I doubt I can make a living from drawing, but I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it,” I said, turning to him again. “You made me seem beautiful.”

He gripped my chin, leaning in to nip my bottom lip with a smirk. “That’s because you are.”

His mouth came back, longer and harder this time, until suddenly the picture was forgotten and my whole body was tuned into his.

Suddenly an alarm rang out and we both pulled away, confused. Slowly it hit me.

“Oh my god! The lasagna!”

26

Kyle

It was burnt. I bit back my laugh as Chloe turned to me with big sad eyes and a pout on those gorgeous lips.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, dropping it on the stove.

“It’s okay,” I said, walking up to wrap my arms around her, resting my head on her shoulder. “Maybe next time we should set the timer.”

She sighed. “I suck at cooking. I warned you.”

This time I chuckled. She sounded so dejected I actually felt bad.

“Let’s go out instead,” I suggested.

“I guess we have no other option,” she murmured.

Standing back, I swatted that pert little ass and told her to go get dressed. By the time she came back down, she looked her proper self again, her hair no longer messed up, her eyes no longer glazed over with desire.

Prowling over to her, I pulled her against my body and ravaged her mouth. She let out a surprised squeak that quickly turned to a low moan as she writhed against me. She sucked my tongue into her mouth hungrily, making my dick spring to life.

I pulled back suddenly, smiling as she swayed toward me, her eyes still closed. When they blinked open they had the look I was hoping for, and her mouth was bruised again from my kisses.

Perfect.

“Now we can go,” I said. Grabbing her hand, I pulled her along behind me as we walked out, noticing that it was taking her more than a few seconds to gather herself again. I chuckled to myself, walking her to her side of the car and opening it for her like the gentleman that I was.

When I got behind the wheel, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, my heart skipping a beat when I saw my father’s number there. He never called me.

“Dad?”

“Kyle,” he said, his voice worrying me more. He sounded tired, and upset.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” I asked.

“It’s your mom,” he said, and I realized then that he was crying. He was fucking crying. “She fell down the stairs, Kyle.”

I cursed. “Is she okay?”

“She hit her head pretty bad. We’re at the hospital now. She -” his voice cracked and something inside of me died right then. “She won’t wake up. They’re running tests now.”

“I’m on my way,” I said, reversing out of Chloe’s driveway and speeding off in a way I’m sure her neighbors didn’t appreciate. “Is Cat there?”

“Yeah, she’s here.”

“I’ll see you soon.” I hung up, punching the gas as I swerved around a corner, heading to the highway. I thought my mind would be racing in a time like this, but it wasn’t. My mind was empty, everything numb.

“Kyle?”

I looked over at Chloe, almost surprised she was there. Shit. I should have told her to wait at home. I didn’t need her to see me or my family like this.

And yet, the more I thought of not having her by my side, the worse I felt. No, she was right where she needed to be.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, reaching out a hand to cover mine.

I looked down at them and felt a little better instantly. When I met her eyes again, I could see the concern written plainly in those big eyes.

“It’s my mom,” I said, the words like knives, ripping at my throat.

I hated hospitals. The smell, the light, the people. It made me nervous. Chloe and I raced up to the floor where Dad and Cat were, finding them sitting in the waiting area. Both had red rimmed eyes, and were pale.

Cat ran to me, throwing her arms around my waist and burying her face against my chest. I held her tightly, meeting my father’s eyes over her head.

I knew him, and I knew that look. He felt guilty. Probably for letting Mom do the stairs alone, and now for our pain. He was like that, taking the world on his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Kitty,” I said softly, stroked my sister’s back. “Everything will be fine.”

The four of us waited there, for how long I don’t know. It was pure torture. Cat had cuddled up to Chloe, who was murmuring things to her I couldn’t hear. A couple of times Cat laughed lightly, and for that I was grateful to Chloe and whatever it was she was doing to keep my sister from falling apart.

I, on the other hand, couldn’t talk or pay attention to anyone or anything. Why weren’t the doctors coming out to talk to us? What was being done to help our mom? The unknown was driving me insane.

Dad couldn’t stop moving. He paced, never pausing, never looking at any of us. He was a man whose life was behind those metal doors. He was lost. If Mom didn’t come back...something told me we’d not only lose our mother, but our father as well today.

“Hey,” Chloe said, gently squeezing my hand.

I blinked, focusing on her. She gave me a sad smile and I hated it. I didn’t want her pity. I didn’t want to see my pain reflected in her eyes.

“I’m going to take Cat down to the cafeteria. Did you want something?” She asked.

“I’m fine,” I replied, my voice sounding hollow and robotic in my ears.

Nodding, she got up and approached my dad, but he just shook his head at her, continuing with his vigil.

When they left, I managed to get up and walk over to him.

“You should sit,” I said to him.

He shook his head, biting at his thumbnail.

“Dad, you need to rest. When Mom gets out, she’s going to need you to take care of her, and you won’t be able to do that if you’re exhausted.”

That seemed to get through to him. His head snapped toward me and he finally froze. Then slowly he nodded, and stumbled toward a chair, falling into it. Bending forward, he gripped his head in his hands. I sat beside him, leaning forward as well.

The silence between us was thick and unfamiliar. I didn’t like this version of my father. He was always the strong one.

“I know what you’re thinking,” I said, watching as his shoulders tensed. “It’s not your fault, Dad.”

His entire upper body seemed to cave in as soon as those words left my lips. He kept his face hidden behind his hands.

“It’s not. Mom is always trying to be independent, you know that. This is no one’s fault,” I stressed. “It’s just an accident. That’s all. Just a horrible accident.”

His shoulders began to shake and I realized he was crying. No, not just crying, he was bawling. His whole body shook from the sobs that wracked him. I put my arm around his shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Ky,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I can’t believe this is happening. She was having a good day. She just wanted to grab her book from upstairs and told me she could manage. I should have gone. I should have insisted she stay in her chair.”

“Dad, the last thing she’d want is to have you sitting out here beating yourself up over something you had no control over. You know Mom. She’d hate it if she knew you were feeling this way.”

He sat up a bit, wiping at his eyes. “I know, you’re right. I just can’t help it. If she doesn’t wake up...I don’t know what I’ll do. She’s my soulmate, the love of my life. How am I supposed to go on without her?”

My throat hurt so bad, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to breathe past the lump there.

“She’s going to be fine, Dad,” I said, hearing how empty those words sounded.

“What if she’s not? I don’t know how I’ll get by. I’m losing a part of me. How does someone go on when they’re missing such a big part of who they are?” He looked up at me, and for once I had nothing to say in reply.

“I wish this pain on no one,” he said, looking at me with a shake of his head. “That saying, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? It’s bullshit. Love is a weakness and it only leaves you open to the kind of hurt that will never go away.”

I opened my mouth, to say what? I don’t know, but then Cat and Chloe came back. The last thing I wanted was my sister to hear our dad talking this way. It would kill her to know he felt this way. We’d always admired how in love our parents were.

Chloe met my eyes and that ache in my chest intensified. Maybe Dad was right, maybe love was more trouble than it was worth. Especially when you knew it would come to an end at some point. No matter what you did.