Deadbeat Dads (5 page)

Knowing Fred,
I had a feeling he’d join the ranks of deadbeat dads. He never was one to pay much attention to his kids anyway. I doubted if he’d have any guilt over leaving them. The similarities between Johnny and Fred amazed me.

Although Johnny gave
me more freedom, and I figured the reason he didn’t buy my clothes was because he didn’t want to bother. Johnny hated shopping of any kind. “Women’s work,” he told me once. In the beginning he expected me to buy his clothes, but only the best. The last couple of years, he started buying them himself, custom made no less. Knowing Johnny, the tailor came to him, probably at the office. How many times had he told me - if he wanted to be a successful lawyer, he had to dress the part. Well he dressed the part all right. Nothing but the best shoes, silk custom made shirts and suits. Oh yeah, Johnny looked successful, and he was. I hadn’t known just how successful until he died.  John Morris was worth well over a million dollars. Add that to the insurance money, and the lovely Babette surely wouldn’t suffer.

I
couldn’t contest the will either, Johnny made sure it was ironclad. Katie and Josh would each inherit ten thousand dollars on their eighteenth birthday. Well thank you, Mr. Morris, how thoughtful. Even now it wouldn’t be enough to pay for college. At least if he had invested the money for them, it could have grown into enough to pay for their education. Unfortunately, the money was in a safety deposit box and couldn’t be touched. So there it sat doing nothing, not collecting interest, not invested. A lot of good that did the kids. I guess I should be grateful he thought of them at all.

Of course if
he hadn’t, I could have contested the will. Why didn’t he care enough for his kids to leave them more? Johnny didn’t used to be so uncaring. He always thought of himself first, sure, but I remembered how excited he was at Josh’s birth. By the time Katie was born he worked such long hours he hardly ever saw the kids except at breakfast. Katie never knew the attention her father lavished on Josh as a baby. Not that Josh remembered it. But Johnny had been proud of his son in the beginning. When did he change? Why did he change? Or was it the idea that he’d fathered a son? I looked at my friend.

Becky
, now dried eyed, sat staring out the kitchen window. Probably a thousand things going through her mind - things like where she went wrong. Of course she’d blame herself. We all did.

How
to convince my friend it wasn’t her fault? Fred left because Fred was a jerk, not because of something Becky did or didn’t do. Most women thought they should have been better wives, but Becky had done everything Fred expected and more. She became a doormat, and Fred lost interest in her. Even though he turned her into a lifeless rag doll who did his bidding, she no longer challenged him mentally. Her life centered on her home and the kids. With no outside interests, she didn’t have anything to say that Fred wanted to hear, so he looked for it elsewhere and found it.

Becky couldn’t compete with the common bond between
Fred’s dental assistant and him. They shared an interest and built a relationship on it. 

Funny
, when Becky met Fred, she was his friend’s dental assistant, and they quickly built a relationship on that common bond. But then Fred made her quit her job, and she lost the luster that interested him in the first place. If Becky had stayed in the workplace, she would have had something to discuss with him at dinner, and he wouldn’t have spent all those long nights away.

Sure
, he had to work a couple nights a week, but Fred didn’t come home many more than that. Becky often complained that he had this meeting or that meeting with a sales rep from some company or other. Becky should have seen the signs more than most women, she worked in that field. She knew sales reps called during office hours. Of course, Fred told her he didn’t have time during office hours to discuss the new products, and Becky bought into it.

“I should have known.” Becky broke the silence. “I should have seen it coming, all those late nights and frequent trips. Oh yeah
, maybe I suspected deep down and didn’t want to admit it. Isn’t that how it goes, they say the wife’s the last to know, but I think the wife’s the last to admit it.” Becky stood and poured herself another cup of coffee.

“He sold his practice here. I didn’t even know it was for sale. How does a wife not know these things? I did everything he asked of me. I kept a clean house, cooked good meals, took care of his kids. What did I do wrong?”

“That’s just it, Beck, you didn’t do anything wrong. He did. He turned you into a doormat, walked all over you, and then threw you out with his shoes.” At least that got a smile out of her, although being compared to old shoes wasn’t really funny.

“Don’t you get it? He lost interest in you because you
weren’t a challenge to him. Your conversation consisted of what Alice, Sammy, and Larry did at school or other activities. He didn’t participate in their lives, couldn’t take the time. Even on his day off, he played golf with his friends, never attended any of the kids little league games, or parent conferences. You and the kids were in the background only brought out when he wanted to brag and show off his beautiful, perfect family.”

The horrified look on Becky’s face made
me think I’d gone too far. “I’m sorry, Beck. But gees hon, you have to face the facts. Think about it. When you met Fred you worked in his field, had even planned on going to school to become a hygienist. But when you and Fred got married that all ended. He made you quit your job, you became pregnant, and that ended the life you knew.”

Did I dare
say more? I took a breath and studied my friend. The look of horror had disappeared from her face, and she appeared attentive. “From then on Fred bought your clothes, shopped for most of the groceries, and you became housebound, so to speak. I’m not trying to be mean. But I’ve been telling you for months break out, get a life. The same thing happened to me, but I’m not foolish enough to blame myself.  I did what Johnny expected of me, too. And lo and behold, didn’t he lose interest? They turned us into shells of woman.

“
Oh yeah, I loved staying home with the kids, but what did our outside interests consist of? Kid stuff, that’s what. Nothing more than little league, play dates and school activities. Where was time for us? When they came home from work, they expected dinner on the table, and then they plopped in front of the TV and ignored us. Sure, they feigned interest, but I could tell Johnny didn’t really listen to me when I told him what happened during the day. He didn’t care. It bored him. Did we ever venture out in the evening for a girls night out? Good grief, we never even suggested it. And did you notice the nights of parents meetings at the school, for some reason they had to work late or had a meeting. Now let’s get real, other men managed to attend those meetings why not ours? Because they didn’t care.”

“You’re right of course. I should have seen this coming. After watching what you went through
, I should have known.  All the signs were there, just like you said. But I felt so smug in my own little world thinking it couldn’t happen to me. God, what a fool I’ve been.” Becky lowered her head to her hands. “How am I going to tell the kids? What do I say? Daddy ran off with another woman? I can’t tell them that.”

“You tell them the truth. You don’t have to say it that way. Just tell them that sometimes adults don’t see eye to eye
, and they fall out of love. Tell them Daddy found someone else he loved more, and he’s not coming home. Tell them he moved to Las Vegas. You have to be honest with them, Beck. They’re kids, but they aren’t dumb.”

“Thanks, Erica. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Will you stay while I tell them?”

“Sorry, Beck, this is too personal. I’ll come back in an hour if you want, but you have to do this alone. They’re going to have questions, and I think it’s better if you’re alone to answer them. Don’t worry, you’ll get through it. Be honest, but be nice, he’s still their father. Whatever anger you’re feeling keep it to yourself. They’ll have enough to deal with without you adding anger and blame. Besides, that tends to backfire. They’ll realize soon enough that it isn’t their fault or your fault.”

“My fault?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid they’re going to blame you in the beginning. They’re kids, they have to blame someone, and you’re here, he’s not, so it’s going to be you.  Katie and Josh blamed me, too, at first. But when Johnny didn’t keep his scheduled visitation, they blamed themselves. I think they still do. After all, if it wasn’t their fault Daddy would come to see them, right? So they think they did something wrong. Now that Johnny’s dead they don’t have to wonder why he doesn’t visit anymore, but they still blame themselves.  The counselor working with them said she’s making progress, but it’s slow going. But yeah, they’re going to blame you.”

The door slammed and five noisy kids burst into the room.

“Mommy.” Katie ran to me, threw her arms around me, and almost pulled me off the chair.

“Hey, squirt, good to see you too. Don’t take off your coat
, we aren’t staying.” I grabbed my coat from the back of the chair. “Hey, Josh, no hug?” Josh hung back away from the noisy group. I wished I could reach my son. Since Johnny’s death he had withdrawn even more. No longer the happy carefree boy who once bounded into the house, yelling over his sister to tell me something first. It tore me apart.

“Hi.” Josh stood on tiptoe and planted a kiss on
my cheek.

“Okay
, let’s go.” I hugged Becky. “You’ll be fine,” I whispered. “If you want me to come back, yell and I’ll be here.”

Becky wiped a tear and squeezed
me. “Give us an hour and come back, please. We’ll fix the kids dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll be here. And don’t worry
, a tear or two won’t hurt. The kids need to know you’re hurting, too.”

I
slammed the car door and wiped away a tear. That bastard, how could he do something like this? I had to tell Katie and Josh. I took a deep breath, this was almost as hard as telling them about Johnny. What kind of faith would they have in fathers? They had so many friends from divorced parents, so many abandoned by their dads. How could I raise Josh to be a loving father when all he had was the example of his own and so many of his friends? What was this world coming to?

I
put the car in gear, backed out of the drive, and glanced in the rearview mirror. Josh already had his face in a book.  “Okay, guys, I have to tell you something. Mr. Johnson left and went to Las Vegas with another woman. He’s getting a divorce. Alice, Sammy, and Larry are going to need your friendship right now. You know how hard it is to deal with.”

“Does that mean Mr. Johnson isn’t coming back? Where’s Las Vegas?” Katie unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned forward in the seat.

“It’s in Nevada, stupid. Of course he’s not coming back, just like dad didn’t.” Josh threw an angry look at his sister.

“Katie
, buckle up. Josh, don’t call your sister stupid. But yes, Katie, Josh is right. He’s probably not coming back. He’s going to live there.” Damn Fred, damn them all. Didn’t they have any idea what they were doing to these kids? At least I had gotten through to Bob.

Or had
I?

Did
I get through to him, or was it something else, something more sinister. Something about that meeting didn’t sit well with me. I had the feeling Bob gave me the money more to get rid of me, than for his daughter. I’d have to do some checking into Bob Brown’s past, see what was going on. Something fishy about that conversation, now that I thought about it, not to mention, Bob’s eagerness to get rid of me. He all but jumped through hoops as long as I agreed not to divulge his whereabouts. Who was he really hiding from?

“Is Alice gonna have to move?” Katie buckled her seatbelt and stuck her tongue out at Josh.

“I honestly don’t know, honey. I hope not.” Boy, I hadn’t even given that a thought. How could Becky afford to keep that big house? She could and probably would get a job, in fact she’d probably have to, but she’d never make enough to make those huge payments. And I wasn’t stupid enough to think the house was paid off, they hadn’t lived in it long enough. It was a good bet Fred wasn’t going to make the payments.

Of course
, if Becky sold it, she’d get a pretty penny for it, and she’d be able to afford something smaller, something more like mine. Not that there was anything wrong with my house, it served its purpose and was plenty comfortable for us, even when Johnny lived there. At least I got that as part of the divorce agreement. I kept the house and continued making the payments. Fortunately, my job paid substantially enough and the payments weren’t all that high. In fact in five more years the house would be mine free and clear.

Becky was going to have a rough row to hoe. Looking for a job after being out of the field for so long would be the hardest. And dentistry had changed so much the
last fifteen years. Hopefully, someone would give her a break. The smart thing for Becky would be go back to school get her degree and become a hygienist. Dentists were always looking for good hygienists. Maybe I’d suggest that to her. Fred could foot the bill. After all, he owed her something for all those years.

I
pulled into my drive and followed the kids into the house.

“How come Mr. Johnson left?” Katie took off her jacket and threw it on a chair.